I work as a Customer Laison Complaints Case Officer at a major insurance company, where I have worked for 3 years. I left school when I was 17, as I had some very bad experiences at school and wanted to see what the real world had to offer.
I now live with my boyfriend of 3 years and spend my spare time reading, writing, socialising with friends or just watching some TV.
Times are still hard and I'm trying to cope with various health problems on a daily basis but I'm working my way through things and really want to stop it from getting me down.
I dream of some day going to America and watching a real baseball game (we don't have that at all in the UK) and perhaps finding a job I find creatively fulfilling. Until then, I'm happy trying to be me and making the best of what I have.
Website: My Space
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset, UK
Occupation: Customer Liaison Case Officer
Age: 21
MSN: hottchickie@hotmail.com
Member Since: January 28, 2006
Answers: 1016
Last Update: March 5, 2009
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for some reason there are days where i wanna sleep all day. i could have slept all threw the night and at school and when i get home i want to pass right out. i dont really do any thing thats strenious like sports, so i dont kno why im always tired.
whats rong wiht me ? (link)
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There are a number of possible causes of fatigue and you would really be better off speaking to a doctor about it.
If you are sleeping through the night without any obvious problems and then tired all the next day, it could be a vitamin or mineral deficiency, it could be sleep apnoea, it could be that you suffer from something like Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Unfortunately, these are only some suggestions and really, you do need to speak to your doctor. Have a word with your parents about it, let them know what is going on and ask if they can take you to see someone about it. The faster the cause is identified, the sooner they can get you back to normal.
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what should i get my boyfriend for his birthday?
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Ask him what he wants. It's always difficult to find guys things that they like for their birthdays but I'm afraid perfect strangers aren't the people you need to ask about this. Just go up to him and say "What would you like for your birthday?" and see what he says. Every birthday and Christmas, I get my other half to do up a list of things that he likes or has had his eye on and then I work out what I can get for him.
It also helps to go on personality. If he likes football, get him something to do with football. If he likes a certain TV programme, see if you can get it on DVD. If he likes sweets, get him something sweet. But as I say, the best way to know what he would like is just to ask him straight out.
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okay so, i have a friend his name is derek and um, i like him ALOTT and i dont know if he likes me but he goes to my school and uh he has a girlfriend but he flirts with me.. ALOt and he allwys cheats on his girlfriend.. not with me but with other ppl. and he dared me to act out what iw ould do if we had sex and i said you nkow hed finger me wed have sex hed rubb my boobs and like blowjob and shit and hardcore makeout.. and then on aim the next day he was like "u like me i know it" and i said "yes i do".. and hes like awh and everything and seemd nice about it.. then he was like i gotta go an said he would do all that stuff to me whenever i wanted him to. and i sent to him i put "lmfaooo haha okay :]" and then he sent back ":] gooodbye (link)
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I've been in pretty much your exact situation and I know how you feel but you need to really think about what you are suggesting doing here.
First of all, you have already said he "always cheats on his girlfriend." Do you really want to be the sort of girl who deliberately leads a taken guy astray? He may well be that sort of person but are you? How would you feel if you were his girlfriend and you found out all this was going on? I know that you like him and he makes you feel wanted right now but in truth, he's the sort of guy who will go out and get it wherever he can and as often as he can and as much as I hate to say this, you will be nothing more than a notch on his bedpost.
There's also something you really need to bear in mind about this sort of guy. I had a guy who was exactly the same to me when I was 16-17. He kept telling me how sexy I was, how much he wanted me, what he wanted me to do to him and vice versa, but you know what? If I ever said no or tried to talk to him about anything serious, he wanted nothing to do with me and on a number of occasions called me and "ugly, moaning bitch". Now, not all guys are like this but this kind, the "Must spread my wild oats to as many girls right this second" guy are like this. They don't care who you are, what you look like, how old you are or how you feel. If you're up for it, they'll hook up with you.
The bottom line is, he has no respect for you or any other woman out there and he will take what he can and do a runner and it is your health and emotions that will be on the line. I have to say that I think you would be a lot better off waiting a couple of years until you are legally allowed to do this sort of thing and until you find a guy who is worth doing it with because this one in no way deserves you.
Now that I've done my preachy bit, there's nothing any of us on here can do to stop you and so the choice is down to you. If you want to get together with him, just make sure that you are safe and that you are prepared for the way he will treat you afterwards. Also, I can assure you that you wouldn't need to do anything to turn him on because he's already oversexed and anything you did with him would just be a bonus to him.
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Hey im 16/17 and im going for my first job intervieuw on thursday. If it helps its a a little resteraunt that my grandfathers freind's owns. The types of positions i might be hierd to do is chash, dish washer, bussing tables or waiting tables. My question is what are some things that i should say or do during an interview?
Thanks in advance!
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I've been through a few interviews myself and I won't lie, it's very nerve-wracking. However, there are ways to ensure you get through it well so let's start from the beginning.
When you get up in the morning beforehand, take a shower and make sure that you don't put too much make up on. You want them to see the real you, so use a little mascara, eyeshadow and maybe some pale lipstick. NOT lip gloss, which is a bit too 'fun' for an interview. Make sure your hair is neat and tidy. Don't wear it down if you have flyaway hair but instead tie it back in a ponytail or clip it back. Make sure you have no hair covering your face.
Wear a suitable outfit. As someone has already said, the job may not require you to dress smartly but you should NEVER attend an interview in anything less than a smart skirt and a blouse. Consider the sort of place you are interviewing to work in. Is it a fancy restaurant or a small time place? If it's very fancy, you will need either a skirt suit or pant suit. If it's a little smaller, a plain black or grey skirt, teamed with a white blouse will be fine. Make sure you are wearing sensible court shoes.
Now, consider the questions they are likely to ask. As someone already correctly identified, they will probably ask you for your strengths and weaknesses. These are common for almost all interviews. Strengths should always be something along the lines of "I work well in a team or alone when required", or "I will work however hard it takes to get the job done properly". When asked for weaknesses, try to limit what you supply and don't give them a list. Something like "I can be a bit of a perfectionist", always goes down well. BUT, don't lie. If you know it's not true and you say that it is, they will work it out eventually!
Do your homework on the company. Make sure you know when they started business, what they sell, when they open from and to, what sort of clientele they have. You need to know as much as possible about the business, so that when they ask you "Why do you want to work for us?" you can come out with something like "Last year you were listed as ...... in 'where to eat'", and that way, they like you immediately because you've shown initiative and interest. That will really make you stand out.
Now, when you GET to the interview, take a few deep breaths before you go in. Make sure you remind yourself that you are calm and prepared. The first thing you need to do when asked to go in and meet them is smile, shake their hands (work on the handshake with your parents if you haven't done it before because getting the correct firmness can be tricky) and then sit down on the chair they direct you to. Maintain eye contact. It's very important for them to know that you are in the room with them mentally, as well as physically and that you are attentive to everything they say. It's okay to look away now and then, but when they speak and you are listening, you need to keep eye contact for around 80% of the time.
Don't forget to sell yourself. If they ask you about your achievements, tell them about any awards you've won. Tell them about your extra-curricular activities that you may be good at. Tell them about anything you do to help out in the community.
Also, make sure you have some questions. At the end of the interview, they always ask "Is there anything you would like to know?" Rather than just shrugging and saying "No", it's better to have something ready and waiting, so they know you're interested. Ask them what hours you would be working. Ask them what sort of career advancement they offer. Ask them about the training. Anything you REALLY want or need to know about the job? This is the time to ask so before you go to the interview, sit down for a few minutes and think about what you don't know about the job already. Then you'll have your questions.
Lastly, remember that they are as nervous as you are. Everybody hates interviews, from the prospective employee to the prospective employer. They're a horrible formality but a necessary one so when you're sat outside, terrified about what you will say and what they will ask, remember the same thing is going on on the other side of that door.
Good luck!
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does andybody have the GHD straightener?? if you do do you like it and how good does it work and everything lol i have reallly curyllly hair and i hate blowdrying does it work on wet or damp hair?? thanks (link)
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I've had GHD's for years and they're the best thing that ever happened to my hair!
However, I should stress that because they work at around 200 degrees C, you should try to limit use of them to around once a week if you can. I used them for two and a half years twice a week, with heat protection serums and sprays and my hair was still getting shorter on its own because it was so damaged. Be careful with them!
I have very curly, very frizzy hair and it takes both the frizz and the curl right out so it looks smooth and manageable (for once!), but you should NEVER use them on wet hair. Although there are ones that are supposed to work on damp hair, I have never yet come across a hairdresser who would recommend them. What happens is you have cold, wet hair, apply 200 degrees of heat to them, the water turns to steam very fast and the hair breaks as a result. Always ensure your hair is thoroughly dry before straightening and try to use a good protective spray. GHD do their own (although I must say that to me it smells like ginger ale!) so if you order the GHD's, get some of that at the same time and apply liberally before straightening.
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So today i was at play practice and i tried to throw up after i ate like 3 or 4 times but i couldnt do it. But after i tried my stomach just hurt like no other. I dont want to do it but i cant help it. I feel like its the only thing i can control (link)
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Oddly enough, bulimia and anorexia often come from deep feelings of loss of control. You may not be abe to control things at school or at home or with friends or with boys but you can control when you eat or don't eat or whether you throw it up.
Here's the thing though. Bulimia and anorexia aren't something over which people have control. Do you think people really feel like they have a say in whether or not they do it or does IT control THEM? Trust me, it might start off being about control but eventually it becomes a habit that's as hard to break as any drug addiction. This is why you have to stop it NOW.
First off, make a list of everything in your life that you are struggling with right now. Then tackle each one, one at a time, working out what you can do to improve it. WHY is it a problem? What would you need to do to fix it? What are the obstacles preventing you from fixing it? How can you get round them? So on and forth. Do this with each and when you're done, look at yourself in the mirror, give yourself a huge smile and say to your reflection "Today is where everything starts to go right for me." Say it like you really mean and BELIEVE that you mean it. Sure, you will feel silly to begin with but it will work over time.
If this habit is already out of control, you need to get some real help. I bet your parents don't know about it so the first thing to do is to tell them. They might come across as angry at first but they are the best people in a position to help you fight this. Tell them you need help. Trust them. It may not always seem like it but they would give up their own lives to make things okay for you and there is nothing they wouldn't do for you. They may try to help you themselves or they may get you help from a professional. Whatever they offer, take it. It will be hard and emotional and scary but it will be worth it in the long run. Bulimia kills people and it destroys lives. Don't let it destroy yours. You are stronger than that.
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I run on the tredmeal and i try to eat healthy but i keep gaining weight, this morning i was 130 pounds this after noon i ram on the tredmeal for a hour and then tonight i am 132 pounds, i don't know how i am gaining weight :(.I would give enything at all to be skinny, some one please help me! (link)
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The first thing that I have to say here is that you should not weigh yourself more than once a week. Any slimming groups or clubs do weekly weigh-ins because it is impossible to measure any sort of real weight loss on a daily basis.
Put it this way, you wake up in the morning and, with clothes on, weigh around 130 pounds. You eat a healthy breakfast, lunch and dinner and do some exercise. What you have eaten during the day hasn't had a chance to break down in your disgestive system, so you will have a few pounds of food and drink in your system. This is okay and nothing to worry about. It just takes a little time. Now, if you weigh yourself on a Monday night at 8pm, continue to eat healthy balanced meals and exercise regularly for a week before weighing yourself the same time the next Monday, that is the best way to see if there has been any weight loss.
I would also stress that any type of exercise has the ability to build some form of muscle mass. Running on a treadmill for example, can build muscle mass in your legs. Muscle weighs more than fat. This is why you see body builders who don't have an ounce of fat on them but weigh a LOT. A lot of people who think they are fat forget about the fact they are SUPPOSED to weigh a little more if they have muscle. Please don't lose sight of that. If you want to just burn some fat, rather than build muscle (for example if you have been advised you are clinically overweight) then you need to run on your treadmill, on a slightly lower setting so that you are just burning calories and not over working the muscles.
Lastly, I want to say that there are a LOT of people out there who say they would give anything to be skinny. Please try not to take this too far. Having been in hospital myself with anorexia in the past, I can tell you it is NOT a pleasent experience. It's okay to be healthy and to get yourself to within a healthy weight but skinny should never be your goal. How you look isn't everything so try to be happy with who you are and how you look and don't let it get out of hand.
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I've always been a very conservative girl when it comes to sex. I lost my virginity to my first boyfriend months ago & recently we broke up. He played games with me afterwards and me being lovestruck, gave in and we had sex. He broke it off again, then came crawling back and me being stupid, had sex with him again. I feel like a complete slut; he played me both times, and now I'm left with a bigger broken heart. I'm never that stupid, but something came over me and now I feel like he totally used me and I can't rid myself of this horrible feeling. I used to be a good girl with her head straight and now I'm so mad at myself. How can I get over this? (17/F) (link)
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First of all, you're not a slut. Technically, this is a term reserved for girls who have sex with a lot of different guys she doesn't care about.
However, it does sound as though you suffer from low self esteem and it's this that is keeping you from being able to say NO to this guy and you need to overcome this. Perhaps the first time you slept with him after he dumped you, you could be forgiven for thinking he cared about you again, but once burned twice shy and if you really believed you deserved better, you wouldn't have said yes a second time.
The problem is, he is unattainable but he's showing an interest in you and that makes you feel good about yourself. You think maybe he cares about you and that maybe you couldn't do better and you don't say no. Now that you are aware of how big a problem this is, hopefully next time, you'll be able to turn him down. He's got you wrapped round his little finger at the moment and you need to unravel yourself!! Next time he comes crawling, tell him that you're over him and unless he's interested in a proper relationship. If he says this is what he wants, MAKE HIM WAIT! Give him at least a month before you sleep with him. It's as simple as that. Just don't do it.
You sound like a nice girl who's just made a mistake. Now you know you've made it, you know how to fix it. In the meantime, work on your self esteem. You deserve better and he deserves worse, so go out and find a guy who will treat you with the respect you deserve and help build your confidence, rather than knock it.
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A girl at school just found out who i liked. She went( right in front of me) and told the schools Big Mouth who and he shouted it! I'm afraid that she went up and told him. I really want to ask him out but i'm afraid that he'll laugh at me. What should I do? Please Help!!!! I am 13.
How can i get him to notice me??? (link)
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I've been in pretty much exactly your situation before and I know how humiliating it is to go through, although, if it's of any benefit, a few years from now, it won't seem like such a big deal to you any more.
Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do to prevent this from getting back to him because the damage has been done. This girl already spread the word and Big Mouth Kid did the rest of the work. You can do NOTHING about it so you need to stop worrying about that. Instead, beat them to it. I know that sounds awful but trust me on this. It's FAR less embarrassing to tell someone you like them under these circumstances than to have someone else tell them on your behalf.
Take my word for this. Next time you see him, regardless of how well you know him, stride STRAIGHT up to him, look him directly in the eye and say "Hi. You may have heard the odd rumour going round about me liking you. Well, it's true and I wanted you to hear it from me, rather than just from a bunch of mindless gossips. That's all!" Then flash him your best smile, turn on your heel and walk away. He'll think your confident and witty and people won't care enough to keep gossiping once the gossip got back to the guy in question. I know it probably sounds really embarrassing but it's the best way to nip this in the bud.
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I have this really suicidal friend called jazz and she keeps cutting her wrists and trying to kill herself because she is depressed i have tryed to help her but she keeps making me feel depressed, i told her to go to the doctor she say no i say talk to school she say no so what do i do? (link)
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I know exactly how you feel. When I was at school, I had a friend who cut her arms and legs (there was not one patch of undamaged skin on her forearms) and had tried to kill herself 4 or 5 times. I tried to help her. I tried to do everything I could to convince her to stop but she didn't listen.
Then she told me why she did it and she opened up to me and...well it's funny how easy depression is to spread and long story short, one day I tried to take a knife to my wrists too.
What I'm saying is that you may want to help her but it's very difficult to help someone who is set on harming themselves without getting emotionally in a similar state. You can't help her unless you can look after yourself at the same time and if you are starting to suffer from depression, now is the time to seek some sort of professional help for her. It's very hard to do because you will probably feel as though you are betraying her but in the long run, it's what she needs. I once had a friend who was bulimic and she swore me to secrecy but because I was worried, I told a teacher and that teacher told her Mum. She didn't speak to me for a while but eventually, she thanked me and said if I hadn't done something, she didn't know what it might have lead to.
The point is, some people aren't able to help themselves and that means you have to do some of the work for them. But that doesn't mean you shoulder the burden for them. Instead, try helping to change her outlook. Perhaps you could get her a book on positive thinking? Persuade her that even though it's hard, she needs to start enjoying life because otherwise, in years to come she will look back and feel as though she wasted them. Try to get her out and involved in life and remind her she needs to LIVE her life, rather than just be a spectator. I know it probably sounds like rubbish but doing just normal everday fun things are what turned my life around.
If that still doesn't work, you need to get her some help from a professional. I would recommend speaking with her parents or a teacher and letting them know the problem. I will warn you that she will be upset at you for talking to them but she will come to realise that you had to do it for her own good. Once she gets the help she needs, she'll be more able to accept that what you did was right.
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Is it weird that i am 13 and i still never had my first kiss or boyfriend ever in my life? i think i'm like the only person in my SCHOOL that never had a boyfriend. i always like all these guys but i never tell them because i am scared and i don't want to get hurt. but i don't want to be like most of my friends that go out with a different guy every week. i've had some many guys ask me out before but i always so no, i don't know why. i even said no to this guy i liked for a very long time. i' just don't want to get hurt. i always wanted my first boyfriend, kiss, date or whatever to be with someone that i will always remember. my best friend doesn't even remmeber her first kiss, and i don't want that to happen to me. i need advice to make me feel better about this. (link)
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It's not weird at all. It's sensible. Okay, so everyone else seems to have a boyfriend and everyone else seems to have had their first kisses and so on. As you have said, a lot of them probably don't even remember their first kisses, or remember it being distinctly unpleasent. Why should you waste your firsts just because they did?
I was exactly the same as you right through school. I had a couple of short term boyfriends but I never kissed them because I knew deep down I didn't really want to. I didn't feel enough for them. Then, when I was 17, I met my boyfriend and I finally hd my first kiss. Three and a half years down the line, I'm still with him, very deeply in love, living with him and you know what? I can remember every single thing about that first kiss. I could tell you where we were, how it happened, what aftershave he was wearing and exactly how I felt. Out of all the people I once knew when I was at school, I am the only one I know who wouldn't change anything about my first kiss. It might have been a long wait but it was worth it.
I suspect it will be the same for you. No matter what you do in life, it is always better to wait until YOU are ready and ignore what everyone else does because they aren't the ones who will have to live with the consequences of your actions. Wait until you find someone you really want to share your first kiss with and no matter where it is, what you look like or what is going on around you, I promise it will be special.
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okay...well this might take a while but i really need to know what to do...okay so during the summer i went out with a guy but then when school started a lot of things were happening and my parents were going through hard time and it was my sisters and my dessicion if they get a divorce or not. So with all that and just confusing i stopped likeing him and i eventually broke up with him. after a week or so we becamoe friends again. Then i realized that i really likmed him still and i regreted everything. I went to a party and he was there and i ended up bawling infront of him and he hugged me and stuff and he was accually there for me. I was going to ask him back out but then the next day he got a gf. I want him to know that i regret breaking up with him and stuff so i wrote a note but i dont know if i should give it to him && im scared that if he knows i still like him that he wont want to be around me all that much anymore. Cause thts what happend to someone else. But anyways i was just wondering if i should talk to him like write a note or smthin i dont know i just really dont know what to do. && i dont want his gf to get mad at me or anythign liek that so if i should talk to him what should i really say? w/o it sounding retarded?
Sorry if it sounds a lil retarded....but yeah idk what to do.
thanks if you can help at all.
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I'm so sorry for what you went through with your parents. It really wasn't fair of them to place the future of their marriage in the hands of you and your sibling/s. I can understand under the circumstances why you broke up with your boyfriend. All the stress is going to make maintaining a relationship very difficult.
I know that you really care about him and you want to be with him, but (as much as this may hurt)you broke up with him and he moved on. As much as you deserve to be happy, so does he and if he has moved on, you can't in good conscience do something that would take that away from him. If you were to write a note or let him know how you feel, the only thing it would do is confuse him and there is a chance it would only end in further disappointment for you.
The best thing for you right now would be to try to move on. If he breaks up with his girlfriend at some point, by all means tell him again how you feel but it isn't worth putting yourself on the line right now and telling him how you feel. It would be too much of a risk and it would be unfair to him and his girlfriend.
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I am 20 years old an i am engaged to my wounderful boyfriend of 2 years..i recelty found out that this month he has been poking holes the size of tumb tacks in our condums.. i was woundering if there was a chance i am now pregnant...and what should i do..he dose not know that i found out???? i want kids i am just scared that we are not ready (link)
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What an incredibly awful thing to do!
The main issue that needs to be addressed here is you need to find out whether his selfish actions have caused you to conceive. Go out now and buy a pregnancy test. If you don't want to do it at home, go to a friends house, your parents house or do it somewhere else where he won't know about. Regardless of the result, you need to seriously consider what you intend to do next.
Now, the point that concerns me the most. You are engaged to this guy and he has deceived you in one of the most selfish ways possible. Consider this for a moment. You have, for who knows how long, been deprived your most basic right as a human being and as a woman to make the choice whether and when you wish to procreate, by the one person you should be able to trust more than anyone in the world.
As someone has correctly observed below, there is a strong possibility this is a form of entrapment. You fall pregnant with his baby and as far as he is concerned, you are his whether you wish to be or not because you are carrying his baby. Personally, I'm deeply worried about this, as it really does suggest something about him as a person.
Regardless of whether or not you have conceived you have GOT to confront him about this. His actions were utterly selfish and inconsiderate and if all you do is replace the condoms or abstain from sex, you are still letting him off the hook over this. You have got to understand the gravity of his actions. He deliberately attempted to ensure you fall pregnant, without any concern as to what YOU wanted and he was doing it my deception.
Clearly, you love him and your next actions with regard to this are entirely up to you but please think very carefully about the sort of man you are marrying and consider the behaviour he has shown here and what it could mean for the future. You may love him but loving someone does not always mean you should be with them.
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13/f i have such curly, frizzy hair and i usually straighten it, but when i want to wear it curly it's annoying. my hair is fine when it's still wet, but then when it dries it poofs up. i've tried a lot of products, so you have any tips or hairstyles i can use on my hair to make it now frizzy when it's curly. (link)
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I have EXACTLY the same problem with my hair. It looks fine when I straighten it but it go so damaged I can't do that any more and it can get SO poofy when it's not straightened.
I found a way to stop it fluffyfying (my own word!) so it may just work for you.
I was my hair with Dove Moisturising Shampoo and Aussie 3 Minute Miracle - an absoloute lifesaver for people who use hair straighteners. Leave it in for around 8minutes instead of three and you will really see a difference.
When I get out the shower, I wrap a towel round my hair and squeeze it gently. NEVER rub dry your hair, as this damages the hair. Then I use a hair dryer so that it is damp and not dripping wet and then comb it through with a professional hair comb. NEVER use a hairbrush at this stage. Again, it will damage the hair.
Next I use some Wella Shock Waves Curl Shaping Mousse. I put a reasonable amount on my scalp, smooth it over the crown of my head and use my fingers to work it into the roots. Next, I separate the left side of my hair and half the back, apply a generous amount of the mousse and gently work it through the hair with my fingers. I do the same with the next side.Then I comb it through again to make sure all the knots are out, before blow drying it. As you blow dry, you should always keep the dryer pointed DOWN the hair, as this will help prevent hair from frizzing. I also use my hands to smooth the hair down as I go along. DON'T use a comb or hairdryer to do this as it will make your hair frizz!!
Finally, when it is all dry, I add some Sunsilk serum for Kinks and Frizz (the purple one). Add it in the same fashion as the mousse but, obviously, in much smaller quantities or your hair will be horribley greasy!! Finally, I put my hair up in a butterfly grip and leave it there for a couple of hours. When I take it down, it's frizz free and looks really good, with a deep wave!
Naturally, it won't work for everyone because everyone has different hair but if it works on hair like mine, I'm sure it will work on yours!!
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OK I'm a female and I don't understand something. How is it I can help others like you guys but I can't help myself. Can you help me??? I thank you very much.
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The truth of the matter is that it will ALWAYS be easier to tell someone what they should be doing and how than it is to actually be the person going through it.
For example, it's all very well telling someone who is overweight to go for a walk instead of eating that chocolate cake but have you ever tried it!? It's really hard! In a more extreme way, it's easy to tell an alcoholic to go to an AA meeting and come up with a plan to get themselves off the sauce but it's so much easier than being the person who has to quite the addiction.
Anything that people are likely to ask advice on is something that is usually going to be difficult to carry out. The reason they ask for the advice is because there is no way forward they can see that is easy for them. Unfortunately, it's the nature of life. But don't worry, it might never be easy to help yourself but you will learn to become better at it.
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will someone PLEASE tell me if it is possible for me to have gotten pregnant? First of all, my boyfriend and I are both virgins, and plan on keeping it that way, but we have messed around a little. The other night, I was stradling him, and was only wearing a thong, but he was fully clothed. I was only there for like a literal minute, because a car was coming. Anyways, he says he might have pre cumed a little, but that's all. is it possible that I could be pregnant? I'm so paranoid, please help me!! (link)
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For you to conceive, his sperm would have to be able to get inside you. If you were wearing a thong and he was fully clothed, there is no way you could be pregnant unless his sperm managed to find a way to dig through all the clothing!
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Are there times in a relationship where a partner may have doubts? I mean I love my boyfriend very much. But I dunno today I just didn't feel good and I just thought he was soo annoying and too touchy and I didn't want to hug him. I'm fine now though and I very much want him to be at my house with me.. Is it just me? (link)
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Absoloutely!!!!!! I love my other half more than I could possibly ever describe. But there are times where I can't stand to talk to him or have him anywhere near me, for fear I might ACTUALLY have to bite his ear off or something!!!
It's just that when you spend a lot of time with someone, you get to know each other so well that some of the things they do get annoying and they get to know how to push your buttons. Not to mention you are around them when you're feeling hormonal and all the bad feelings get directed onto them because they happen to be there!
Try not to focus on the few occasions when you can't stand to be around him. The important times are when you feel like you couldn't breathe unless he was there.
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What personality traits do you look for in friends. I have servere depression. It's been so long since I've been...sane. Ha. I just need a little help getting back to my old self. Thanks. (link)
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First off, please don't think you're insane. There's really nothing insane about depression. Even severe depression. The most sane and together people in the world could probably understand why people suffer from it in today's day and age!
Second off, although all people look for similar qualities in friends, you can't tailor yourself to fit someone else's needs. Here's the thing. When you suffer from depression, it's easy to lose yourself in the misery and forget who you are and what you want, but you need to work all that out before you can really be a good friend. Put it this way. If you think people want someone who is lively and confident all the time, you'll be so busy bending over backwards trying to be something you just aren't up to being all the time that you will eventually make yourself feel worse.
Instead of asking what sort of personality traits people look for in a friend, ask yourself what YOU would look for in a friend. What sort of person makes a good friend? The most common things people look for in a good friend are reliability, trustworthiness, loyalty, compassion, understanding and accepting of people.
In order to get friends who are like that, you need to BE a friend who is like that. But before you can really open yourself up to a friend, you need to be comfortable in your own skin and to be able to accept yourself. After all, if you can't like you, how can anyone else?
Be a friend to yourself first, then be a friend to others and I'm sure that there are PLENTY of people out there who will love to be a friend to you.
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In class yesterday I was sitting next to a girl who I don't really know, and she rolled her sleeve up and I saw she had cuts all up her arm, and that some of them were bleeding. She didn't know that I saw. Now I don't know this girl at all, but I do know one of her flatmates a bit. Should I speak to her flatmate and see if she knows this girl is cutting herself? Cos I think her flatmate could help her much more than I could.
Thanks! (link)
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You should absoloutely say something. But, try to be tactful about it because it's a very tricky subject. Clearly this girl has some problems that she is dealing with and you don't want to end up talking to someone she doesn't trust about this. In my experience, people who cut tend to close themselves off to others and a sudden intrusion could make it worse for her.
Try speaking to one of her flatmates and just asking how well she gets on with this girl. Find out if they are friends and if they talk about things. She's bound to ask why you want to know so when she does this, if you get the impression they are quite close, tell her the full story about seeing the cuts. If you get the impression they are friends but aren't that close, tell her you think she's depressed because you sat next to her and she didn't seem like she was in a good place, metaphorically speaking. Try to give her the idea that as far as you are concerned, this could be a serious problem and tell her that as her flatmate, it might be a good idea to sit down for a heart to heart with her and try to get to the bottom of it all.
If you really don't think that is working, you can either try to find someone else who is close to her to talk about this to or you could try to befriend her yourself. It might be that she feels very alone at the moment and having someone new in her life might help to make things more bearable.
Whatever happens, I always say you should never turn your back on someone in need if you are not endangering yourself in any way. Do what you can to help her but remember also that it is very much a problem she needs to deal with. She needs the support but nothing will help until she accepts it and with that in mind, trying to find people to help her or being there yourself really is all you can do right now.
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I've been having sex for about 4 months now and it's been great. The last two times i did though it really hurt..not becuase there wasn't enough lube or anything but it felt like really painful afterwards..what could be the cause of this? Has anyone experienced this? (link)
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I have the same problem. My partner and I have been together 3 and a half years now and been sleeping together around 3 years. Over the last year, sex has become very painful, to the point we can't really do it any more.
I'm going to the doctor about this next week and I would recommend you do the same. Painful sex can be a symptom of muscular tightening (can be the result of a condition called Vaginismus) or an infection and any number of other things so it is always worth checking. When it comes to that area of your body, you can never be too careful.
Perhaps it would be a good idea to request a smear test. This way, the doctor or a gynaecologist can ensure there's nothing going wrong 'down there' and put your mind at ease. You could also discuss the pain issue to see if there is anything further that can be done. In some cases, referral to a sexual therapist can be helpful, particularly in cases where there is muscular tightening, as this can be a psychological problem, rather than physiological.
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