about

Hey Everyone :) I'm Kate and a level 2 mod on here. I've had this account since July 2004, so I've been on here since I was 13! Wow ... crazy for me to think how long ago that was. I will admit I don't check in as often as I once did, but being away at college, being in a sorority, and having a job when I'm not at school is very time consuming. I still try to help out as much as possible, and if you send me a question I WILL answer it. This site helped me a LOT when I was in high school and had a lot of questions, and I'm here to help anyone who needs it :) Feel free to write in my forum or send me a question any time!

advice

My friend who is about 6 ft and I (5 ft) wanna try to start swing dancing together. We don't wanna go to classes, but are there any cool moves or anything we could do/any things we should really know? Really fun stuff, basically. We'd be fine with lifts, because I'm so much smaller and used to cheer/stunt/do gymnastics. Just gotta find some. :P


Help?

There's this movie called Swing Kids...
I watched it a few years ago in my 10th grade English class, so I'm sure there's some deep meaning to it, but I don't know what it is...

Anyway, Swing Kids is a really good movie and has tons of cool dance moves...

You two could watch the movie together & get some ideas.
Or, of course, you just just google "swing dance moves"... up to you, really.

[view]

17/f

i have had an eating disoder, it comes and goes since the first time i had it. the 1st time was the worst when i was 15. it came back at the end of last year and its been on and off since then.

when it comes back i start to feel sad all the time and i dnt no why... its like the feels come back when the eating disorder does.

i dnt get it, each time its different like the 1st time i stopped eating for 3 days to get my mum to notice and then when i started eating again i had bulimia, 2nd time i was so stressed i just stopped eating for like 2 weeks then i had bulimia again and this time it started from me bindge eating and throwing up. atm im scared to eat and im trying not to, i just dnt trust myself cos i never feel full or satisfied so i just keep eating. thats wat started it this time.

i dnt want to get sick again i know its not worth it but i dno wat to do its like its haunting me!! i told my mum last year when it came back that i wanted professional help but she wudnt take me.
how do i get over this i hate it and im freaking out that it will keep comin back and never truly go away!! =[

HELP! =[

I have been recovering from anorexia for as long as I can remember. My symptoms began when I was only in the 5th grade! 10 years old! And my parents really started noticing after a while and I ended up getting professional help. I saw a psychiatrist for at least 2 years, and sometimes I wish I still saw her. The best way to end your disorder is through professional help. Psychologists, psychiatrists, doctors, and those who are specialized in the field of eating disorders will know what you need and how to help you get that. As long as you're willing to do as they say, as difficult as it may be, you can recover. For some people, out-patient care will be enough, but for those who have been deep into the disorder, in patient care and even a bit of hospitalization will be necessary.
You want to get help and it has been two years off an on, so you might be able to try out-patient care at first, which is what I did. I saw my psychiatrist once a week or so, but I got to stay at home and work at my disorder without being watched 24/7 by doctors and nurses.

Will the disease ever go away for good? I'm not sure... I'm 18 years old and a college freshman, and I still think about how much food I'm taking it, whether or not my food is healthy, should I really be eating this, if I skip this meal I'll be okay, etc. I still get those thoughts a lot of the time. Sometimes when I go work out, I have to literally stop myself from over doing it. I tell myself that I can't stay at the gym more than a certain amount of time, and that I can only do certain machines for a certain amount of time before moving on to weights and other forms of work-outs. I try to stay active and healthy by playing intramural soccer at my school, and I do a lot of other things to keep my mind away from obsessing over what I'm doing. It also helps that I have a friend that I go to college with who was there through my entire disorder. She knows what I went through and because her mom is some sort of dietitian person, she knows what it takes for me to get better.

As far as I'm concerned, an eating disorder is just as mental as it is physical. It's something we never truly get rid of, but we do get through and get better. I think I may always have those thoughts, but I've learned that I'm strong and can overcome them.

Also, the longer you have this disorder, the more difficult it will be for you to stay in shape once you get better. Right now your body is going to hold on to every ounce of fat and everything else coming in because it knows you'll be throwing it up or you'll stop eating at some point. That's why you binge - your body keeps saying it's hungry because you've been starving it. Throwing up is just like not eating - you're starving yourself. Your metabolism gets slower so it can hold on to more food in the case of you getting rid of it again or stopping any from being consumed.

Your body may forever be terrified that it won't get enough food to survive, so the longer you keep up your disorder, the more severe it becomes, in recovery as well.

If your mom doesn't want to take you to a doctor for help, see your school counselor. If that still doesn't work, have your friends help you. It could be a big burden on them and yourself, but you need to do something now.

[view]

Okay I'm goign to participate in a 14 hour walk at my school and it's for cancer (cancer is hard, and walking is isn't and I suck at gym so i don't volunteer for marathons but this is walking so how great is that?).

Well you have a group of 12 and at least ONE member from your group must be walking on the track during the 14 hours. And I don't think I'll be sleeping either (starts at 5pm, end at 7am next day). Two years ago I used to stay up til 2am and it's no problem but on school nights I'm so exhausted and it's only 10pm!

And tips and stuff? I'd really hate to have a rare condition of fainting or something and causing trouble/embarrassment, thanks.

I've done walks like these before, and it's a lot of hard work and determination.

Everyone in my group made sure to nap after school for 20-45 minutes. It's said that just 30 minutes of sleep for a nap will rejuvenate you, whereas too much sleep may end up making you even more tired than you were. So if you can, take about a 30 minutes nap before you go to the walk (or while someone else is walking, find a place to crawl up and do so).

My biggest suggestion is NOT to have an energy drink. Energy drinks will speed you up for a bit, but then you'll crash. Eat healthy and don't eat too much while you're there. Foods high in fatty substances can tire you out and eating too much can give you that feeling of fullness and satisfaction and may make you sleepy.

Any time you start to get sleepy, do something fun that can waken you up. Bring an ipod and sing along to your music with a friend or two in your group.

I don't really have much else to say. The walk I participated in didn't require you to be on the track the entire time, so we went to "bed" for about 3-5 hours in between.

A good tip, though, would be to stay hydrated so that you don't pass out from exhaustion. I really suggest attempting to take a nap sometime between getting out of school and going to the walk though.

This is a really great thing you're doing - keep that in mind and hopefully it will liven you up if you begin feeling sleepy. :]

[view]

17/f
my boyfriend has been having some health problems this week with his heart and he's been in an out of the hospital and can't go back to school for a while but in the meantime he's stuck at home and has run out of things to do. He's tired and can't do any real physical activity so all he's been doing is sleeping, eating and watching tv and hes bored. I've been to his house everyday just to keep him company and watch movies with him.
I want to come up with some things for him to do.

Any activities that don't require a lot of movement or energy??

The age old entertainment that comes from coloring, doing word puzzles, reading a good book, or any other relaxing activity.

While some videogames can be fun, they may cause stress on his part, so I'd keep the games simple, especially if he's a competitive person.

My ex boyfriend had a pretty bad heart condition after an accident he was in, and he enjoyed doing the simple things: reading, surfing the web, coloring with me (I love coloring books, so he'd do it to keep me happy), writing, playing his guitar, etc.

Remember, though: he does need his rest so he can feel better.
You're being a really sweet girlfriend. Maybe invite some friends over and you guys can play card games or boardgames... :)

I hope he feels better.

[view]

ok, so i go to my boyfriend house almost every day. and it smells of smoke in his house. but not enough to make my hair smell bad. but my boyfriend and i smoke, and i usually dont cover my hair over there because my parents usually just think "oh, their house smells like smoke, so we expect her to come home smelling like smoke"

but when my hair is clean and i havent been to my boyfriends house, i cover it up with my jacket.

but lately, even after i wash my hair and condition it, it STILL smells like smoke. not as bad as before, but i can smell barely smell it.

how can i COMPLETELY rid of the smokey smell out of my hair?! i cant quit smoking, and frankly, i dont want to. and if you're going to tell me to, you might as well not answer this question, thanks.

and also dont tell me to cover up my hair when i go to his house because i look retarded when i do. can you just tell me how to get rid of the smell when i shower? thanks.

PS: i use a dandruff shampoo, and some conditioner that silkens my hair so its easier to straighten. :)

http://www.wikihow.com/Avoid-Getting-Caught-Smoking-by-Your-Parents

Focus on number 18 and number 20.

As the other advicenator told you, smoke lingers in your hair and it becomes part of your person. When you sweat, you're sweating out the scent of the cigarettes and such. There's no perfect way to get rid of the smell, not even showering.

Here are some other links:
http://www.howtogetridofstuff.com/odor-removal/how-to-get-rid-of-cigarette-smoke-smell/

http://www.getridofthings.com/get-rid-of-smoke-smell.htm




Here's an example of why it doesn't work:

Spray a lovely scent on dog poop - does the smell truly go away without getting rid of what caused it?
Might as well put down that cancer stick and find a new, less stinky hobby.

[view]

Are you happy?

As to your additional information: I'm a site administrator and this question (to my knowledge) was not reported, nor would I have deleted it if it were.

Anyway, to answer your question:

Am I happy? It really depends on which happy you are speaking of (as in Witty's answer).

To myself, I'm content with where my life is going. There are certain moments that I feel this amazing happiness radiate off of me, but for the most part, I'm just glad my life is going in the direction it seems to be traveling...

[view]

I started cutting about a week ago. I have recently been diagnosed with depressession because of my step mom leaving and taking my 3 yr old baby sister with her. I take a pill called Celexa for depression, it's helped by making me happy,but I still want to cut. I cut because it helps and I do it because I can't stop, but then again I don't want to stop because it helps me feel alot better. I don't scratch because I feel the need to cut myself untill I bleed, if I don't bleed, I am unsatisfied and feel like it didn't help.My boyfriend wants me to stop, and I love him, but even for him I won't do it. I don't want to be told to stop, I want a way of stopping so that I still get that feeling of satisfaction, but without having to cut.

I've been there, and I know how difficult it is to leave that place. You're already doing something - you're on medication to help with your depression. That is definitely going in the right step.
You cut (or at least I did) because it gives you a way to control your pain, to control your emotions. When things are going crazy in your life, you just want some form of control. If you have to hurt, you want it to be under your own circumstances. That's how it was for me, anyway.

Why does cutting hurt so bad yes still feel so amazing? It releases endorphins into your system. Endorphins make people happy. There are TONS of other ways to get those endorphins that make you feel better.
Exercise is an AMAZING and POWERFUL way to release those endorphins you're getting through cutting. Exercise can also cause pain, but a good pain. It's the type of pain you get when you're really pushing yourself to do something.

Take up jogging or playing a sport. That way, any time you want to do something big and you want to get that rush you get from cutting, you can do some form of exercise or practice for the sport. You're still doing something, but it's something healthy and beneficial to you rather than damaging.

Cutting becomes addicting. I know the feeling. I know what it's like to want to stop but not to be able to because of how it makes you feel. I took up sports and writing. Any time I was in one of those "I really need to cut" moods, I'd begin writing. If that wasn't working and I felt like I needed to do something physical, I'd run, scream, hit softballs, kick my soccer ball... I'd do anything to just release the pain without scarring my body.

Try it. Try anything. Whatever you do, don't cut. I know sometimes seeing the blood can be what gets you. If that's what you really enjoy, paint, draw on yourself, do whatever it takes to get that rush without actually causing yourself damaging pain.
Exercise can cause pain - any time you push yourself to do something challenging, you can experience a crazy yet awesome pain - but it's a healthy pain. It's much better for you than cutting. Also, you can control it. If you are still really frustrated, keep running. Listen to up-beat, fast-paced music. It really helps. Just give it a shot :)!
Also, whoever prescribes your medicine (I'm guessing a doctor or psychiatrist)... tell them about your problem. They probably have tons more ideas for you to overcome your need to cut.

For me and a lot of people I know, it has always been about controlling your own life. If I had to be in pain, I wanted to be in control of it.
If you have a different reason for cutting, then there's probably a different, better way to stop.

[view]

ok so you know how on myspace at the top of the browser above the address bar when your profile it says like your name age sex and myspace adress and stuff? is there like a code or something to hide that?

This website has just about every code you could ever want.
http://www.myspace-crash-codes.com/blog/codes

If you scroll down a bit, it gives you "hide" codes.

Also, when you click to get the code, it shows you exactly what you're going to be doing just in case you're unsure if that's the code you want.

[view]

I'm 17/f and recently I've been having feelings towards my basketball coach (He's 26). A couple nights ago the whole team including him went out to go bowling. It was like we weren't even there with the team, there was flirting and you know the whole "bet I can beat your score", and random touches when we passed by each other. And it's not just on his part it's me too. What should I do? Should I talk to him about this?

Thanks
Confused Basketball

If you're a senior, wait until next year to even attempt pursuing anything. This can get him sent to jail, he would become a registered sex offender, and he will never be allowed to teach or coach again.
There is a teacher in my district who was walked in on with a student and was fired, thrown in prison, and his reputation is ruined.

It doesn't matter if you're 18, it doesn't matter if you even have him as a teacher, as long as he's teaching and you're a high school student, it's illegal.

We have a teacher at my school who is dating someone who graduated around 2-3 years ago, and it's perfectly acceptable because they waited until recently to even consider a relationship. She's about 20 and he's about 27... it's all okay.

If you try anything before you graduate, you'll be risking his job. He's smart enough to know that going any further than flirting could ruin his life, so you should learn that lesson quickly.

There are definitely a few coaches at my old high school who a lot of students would have loved to hook up with; however, we all knew the risks and never would have put any of them through something as risky as this.
Just remember, people notice things, rumors start, and even if nothing happened, the teacher can still be let go.

We had a student who went to a coach's house because she was really upset and had a fight with her parents and knew she could talk to him. Well, when the mom found out she went to his house, her mom called the school and they gave him two options - quit or be let go for various other reasons.
See, even suspicion could cause someone to lose their job.
Be very careful. The year is almost up, so you're either a junior or senior. I hope you're a senior because it could get risky if you still have another year with him as your coach.

[view]

how do brides plan their weddings around their periods so far ahead of time if they are not on a pill?

By the time most women get married, their periods are pretty regular.
My suggestion is to plan your wedding for 1-2 weeks before or after you would get your period.

For example, my period usually starts around the 15th-18th of each month, so I would know to either have my wedding the first week of a month or last week of a month.

Always prepare that your period may come a few days early or late and work with it from there.

[view]



Ok, Does anyone know a good site to buy cheap books from... they don't have to be new... that doesn't matter in the slightest, but I was looking on ebay and there's so many books that I really want that aren't on there.

BTW the books I'm looking for are like teen fiction, but some adult fiction. [:

Well, since you're looking online, try www.amazon.com. They've got tons & usually you can find a good deal.

Most book stores like Barnes & Noble and Borders hand out a lot of coupons and stuff online so you can get cheap books.

Have you ever looked in Target's book section? They actually have pretty good stuff... it's not uuber cheap, but it's fairly priced.

[view]

so i really like this guy but we dont talk much but i was in his class 2 years ago and we talk a little but he thinks im really quiet (which im not) even before i started likeing him and now that i like him im really scared to talk to him.. he knew i liked him and his friend asked if him if hed ever go out with me and he said no but i never rreally tallk to him and he thinks i never talk but im the oppisite ...so do you think if i start talking to him more he will begin to like me?
thankkya
loveboys

There's always a possibility, but if he told his friends that he isn't into you, I'm sure that there's more than just the not-talking reason for that. Guys aren't that dumb. If they like a girl, but she's shy, they're still going to try to get her to open up and be social.

You can try to start speaking with him more, but don't be disappointed if he still isn't that into you.
You're young, there are always way more guys out there. Besides, if you don't really talk much with him, then you may not be as into him as you think. Find someone you're not afraid or nervous to talk to.

[view]

so I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years and he eats me out and fingers me all the time but i haven't really given him a hand job or a blow job. I have touched his penis and licked it though. I just get really nervous when I'm about to and i dont know whats wrong with me. Any advice on how to give him a handjob or blow job and how to calm my nerves?

We can't give you any how-to details on this topic, but if you're really that nervous, try searching google, urbandictionary, and youtube. Even yahooanswers will probably provide you with the information you're looking for.

[view]

If my little sister is 11 and in 7th grade (birthday is agust 2nd) how old will she be when she gets in college? (she is homeschooled)

She'll turn 17 a few weeks before starting college.

She started kindergarten at 4, I assume? I also started at age 4, but my birthday is in November, so I turned 5 soon after having started. She'll be about a year younger than everyone else, and she'll end up graduating at 20 instead of the usual 21-22.

I don't suggest her waiting a year before starting college because if she goes an entire year without being in the habit of school, she probably won't want to do it. If she wants to do some sort of travel or adventure after she graduates college she'll still have that "extra year" that most others don't have.

Her age isn't too big of a deal. I have a friend who is in her same predicament. She's a college freshman and won't turn 18 until this summer. Then again, my friend skipped a grade.

[view]

I am 4 mo. pregnant and the babies daddy left me penniless, homeless, and with out a car. I am about to be homeless in a few days and the sad part is I'm not a bad person. I don't do drugs and I don't drink and violence of any kind is just not in my nature. I love this child and its not even born yet. I live in the country and there are no homeless shelters anywhere near. I have no friends and family and will do anything to keep and raise my baby. Please help me what should I do. This child deserves its mother.

Terra

I'm not positive on this, but I'm sure if you visit the local hospital or police department, you can speak with someone who can find you a place to go to help care for you and your child. Since you're pregnant, it will be in their best interest to help out you and your child.

[view]

So I was wondering, when you ask a question on here, why does it just show up on the advicenators homepage like 3-4 days later? Im sure this question will come up in like 4 days too. (its Jan 2)

Matt & Peeps are both correct in what they have said.

Being a level 2 moderator (one of the few people who can approve questions), I know that I approve anywhere from 0-30 questions per day. Sometimes I come to the site and either no questions have been asked (doubt it) or another administrator has already approved them. There are tons of questions asked each day, and us admins will approve just about all of them. However, sometimes it feels as though more people are asking questions than answering.
The questions on the side of the website will remain there until they receive 2 answers. Once those questions receive 2 answers, new questions will show up. This is not a manual thing that admins can change. Sometimes those questions will get a great, amazing, perfect answer, but until they get a 2nd one, they won't disappear (which can get annoying).

Anyway, I just wanted to clear it up. While there are very few active administrators, we do get majority if not all of the questions approved daily (granted the few hours where we're asleep, but we're mostly in different time zones, so it's not too bad), we just don't have enough people answering questions.

So, as Peeps already gave DN's response - answer, answer, answer. The more questions that are given plenty of answers, the more questions that can be shown.

Also, if you're a level 1 moderator, rate questions! If a question is bad and gets enough 1 ratings, it's deleted. There are plenty of questions we approve with a 1 rating that they can be deleted if some more moderators agree with us and do their jobs as well.

If you have any other site related questions, feel free to ask any of us active administrators. :)

S_C 18/f

[view]

i'm taking drivers ed in a box right now and i'm wondering if you need to read the handbook in order to pass the test to get your permit or could i still pass the test to get my permit just by doing the six hour tapes?

does the test contain general rules and questions or local rules that you need to know from the handbook??

thanks!!

I had to actually take a class, not an "box" thing, but it really does help to read the handbook.

I live in NC, and our permit test (I took my permit test about 3 years ago)asked some specifics. A few specific questions it asked had to do with how many car accidents there are per year, how many deaths result in drunk driving, etc.

I actually failed my permit test the first time because I only skimmed the handbook.

The second time I took the test, I made a 100 on it.

So, to answer your question, the permit test asks local rules, so you'll be much better off reading the handbook.

[view]

16/f

so there is a chance that i might be pregnant well on new years eve night i drank 3 wine coolers and i had less than a can of beer. well if i am pregnant its less than a week. so will the alchol have a bad effect or is it to early to hurt anything

There's always a slight possibility that any alcohol consumed could negatively effect the fetus. However, if you are pregnant and only less than a week, your baby will probably be okay.

As of right now, you'll be smart not to consume any alcohol until you're sure that you're not pregnant.

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is very serious and very damaging to a child. Just like if you do drugs or smoke cigarettes while pregnant. Not only can it harm the baby's health, the child can also be born with an addiction to whatever addictive substance you have consumed & will go through withdrawals and such after their birth.

Besides, you're only 16. You shouldn't be drinking anyway. Then again, in my opinion, you probably shouldn't be having sex & pregnancy scares either.

S_C 18/f

[view]

i just finished sending off my college apps around the middle/end of december. about how long before i should start to expect acceptance/rejection letters?

You sent them in rather late, I would think. My senior year, I had all of my applications in by November and had heard back from a few before Christmas. However, there are some schools that won't given an answer until January, February, and even March. It's a long process, applications & responses, but definitely worth it when you get the acceptance letters.

If you check the school's website, they'll usually tell you when they have begun sending out letters to applicants.

[view]

89uHdK ckde82FskbVa9Hhf3d

What?

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker