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Coach
I'm 17/f and recently I've been having feelings towards my basketball coach (He's 26). A couple nights ago the whole team including him went out to go bowling. It was like we weren't even there with the team, there was flirting and you know the whole "bet I can beat your score", and random touches when we passed by each other. And it's not just on his part it's me too. What should I do? Should I talk to him about this?
Thanks
Confused Basketball
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Maybe give some free advice about: Work/School Relationships?
I have a lot of flirty teachers at my school. I guess it's just something some guys don't grow out of. It could just be innocent though. Some guys have that kind of personality. I don't think you should look to much into it though. Especially not right now.
You+Him+Intimacy=BAD!
If you really like him, don't pursue this relationship anytime soon. When you graduate, if you still have these feelings and think he feels the same, then you can talk to him about it.
Talking now will either end up getting him in trouble, or you embarrassed if you're wrong. Can you imagine how weird the rest of your high school days would be?
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If you're a senior, wait until next year to even attempt pursuing anything. This can get him sent to jail, he would become a registered sex offender, and he will never be allowed to teach or coach again.
There is a teacher in my district who was walked in on with a student and was fired, thrown in prison, and his reputation is ruined.
It doesn't matter if you're 18, it doesn't matter if you even have him as a teacher, as long as he's teaching and you're a high school student, it's illegal.
We have a teacher at my school who is dating someone who graduated around 2-3 years ago, and it's perfectly acceptable because they waited until recently to even consider a relationship. She's about 20 and he's about 27... it's all okay.
If you try anything before you graduate, you'll be risking his job. He's smart enough to know that going any further than flirting could ruin his life, so you should learn that lesson quickly.
There are definitely a few coaches at my old high school who a lot of students would have loved to hook up with; however, we all knew the risks and never would have put any of them through something as risky as this.
Just remember, people notice things, rumors start, and even if nothing happened, the teacher can still be let go.
We had a student who went to a coach's house because she was really upset and had a fight with her parents and knew she could talk to him. Well, when the mom found out she went to his house, her mom called the school and they gave him two options - quit or be let go for various other reasons.
See, even suspicion could cause someone to lose their job.
Be very careful. The year is almost up, so you're either a junior or senior. I hope you're a senior because it could get risky if you still have another year with him as your coach.
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Well, it's never really a good idea to mess with teachers [or anyone older if you're still a minor], cause it can ruin a lot of lives, but ultimately it's YOUR life, and I'll be damned if I tell you how to live it when I myself do as I please. Just doesn't seem right. Anyway, there are many ways you can handle this, but only two that I'll go into: you can either get the heck away from him if you find him creepy [when you distance yourself, he's bound to get the hint], OR, you can let this run it's course. If you like him and feel you want it to go somewhere, do NOT talk to him about it. Men don't want to be talked to; that'll just freak him out. Though you didn't describe him much, it sounds like he's definitely interested. Keep in mind his intentions may or may not be good; there's no way to tell. I do have to warn you, there's always a HUGE risk of getting hurt, caught & embarrassed, or that it won't work out. Dating teachers is a big deal and can get you both [mostly him] in oh so much trouble. Good luck with whatever you decide darling.
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You cannot get yourself involved. You could get him not only fired but arrested and put in jail for a long long time. Please watch out. Sometimes male teachers can be overly friendly and if you think he's into you, it's not with the right intentions. This is not a joking matter. Distance yourself from him before you get hurt and get him in serious trouble. Good Luck!
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Don't even involve yourself with this.
We had a girl in my school district who was having relations with a teacher, and he was sent to prison. I'm not really sure how long, or what the charges were, but he lost his job.
And as for the girl? She was the laughing stock of my town [at least of the people her age-- I'm like 4 years younger than her] pretty much until she graduated.
So think about what you're going to do, or maybe wait until you graduate to even consider this.
--Jack
(17/m)
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Well I know that age is just a number to alot of us, but I hope you're turning 18 soon.
Talk to the coach? Seems like that could be realy awkward... Or at least that is how I feel.
Sure though explain to him out of school, try to keep it private. Tell him you have feelings that are kind of surfacing, and you feel perhaps he's been looking your way somewhat. : Maybe if you're almost 18 he' totally be interested.
Also, you may not want to, this man can lose his job over such a little thing. Or he could be convicted as a child molester even if you are almost 18. Be careful, and think your moves threw.
Be Safe.
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