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I'm pregnant and homeless?
I am 4 mo. pregnant and the babies daddy left me penniless, homeless, and with out a car. I am about to be homeless in a few days and the sad part is I'm not a bad person. I don't do drugs and I don't drink and violence of any kind is just not in my nature. I love this child and its not even born yet. I live in the country and there are no homeless shelters anywhere near. I have no friends and family and will do anything to keep and raise my baby. Please help me what should I do. This child deserves its mother.
Terra
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If there are no homeless shelters around your location then see your local welfare department and housing authority. Many, many times they will have an open apartment that they can get you in almost immediately after some very quick paperwork is started.
I understand "living in the country" but you're going to have to find a ride to the welfare department. Asking for help is not degrading like everyone makes it sound. You need help and people are willing to help you. You just have to let them know.
If you have access to a telephone, and I assume you do since you have access to a computer, then make a phone call to your local welfare department and housing authority locations. Tell them that you're 4 months pregnant, you don't have a place to live, and you're desperate for help. It sounds like a long shot, but sometimes these people will actually come and get you from the kindness of their heart if you just say, "I'm stuck where I am, I have no way of getting there, could you please, please, please help me get there so I could fill out paperwork? I would be eternally grateful for anything you could do for me."
If, for some reason, you can't get hold of the proper places on the phone then try to contact a local church. Many pastors will drive you, without question, to a place where you can stay for the night. Many church leaders know where you could stay for a night or two or where you could get a ride to the appropriate places. If, for some reason, one church can't, or won't, help you figure this sort of thing out right now then try another church. Ask for help.
If you don't speak up then nobody will hear you. Reach out. Tell people you need help. Don't be afraid to say it.
Remember friends and family right now. Give them a call, even if you haven't spoken to them in what seems like forever, and ask if you can stay with them for the next couple of days. Explain the situation. It might be embarrassing but it's better than sleeping outside in the cold. Sometimes you just need to swallow your pride.
If worse comes to worse and nobody can help you right now for some reason, ask a pastor to drive you to the nearest shelter where you can stay for a few days. They tend to know the surrounding areas and where places like this may be located. At least you'll be able to have a warm meal and a place to lay your head until you can get the appropriate help you need.
I once face a situation where I wasn't sure where I was going to sleep for the night. It was pretty scary. I ended up talking with a couple of local cashiers when I checked out through their lines, and with people who were running a pizza place that I stepped into for a bite to eat. They gave me places to call, references of places that might be able to help me, and helped me as much as possible. Kind, caring people who are more than willing to help you, be it driving you some place or letting you stay the night in their spare room, are out there. If you don't let them know that they're needed then they won't ever know to help you.
So, make some phone calls and stop by a few places:
Housing Authority
Welfare Department
Various Churches
Tell them you need help. Explain the situation and what is going on. Once you get some help (a housing situation, food stamps, medical care for the baby, etc.) then you can purchase a prepaid cell-phone and try to work on talking with the unemployment office about getting you some work started, even if it's temporary work. Start from the ground up. You can do it.
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I understand exactly what you are going through. I am 5 months pregnant with a little boy and am facing homelessness as well. The father kicked me out last week and I am staying with a friend in a single occupancy apartment which is too small for two people let alone two people and a baby so I can't stay here long. I wish I had an answer for you but unfortunately I don't. I just want you to know you are not alone and I feel your pain and fear as much as I feel my own. I wish bad things didn't always happen to good people. These "men" should have to walk around with a sign that says " I am a deadbeat". I don't pray for myself because God just never seems to hear me but I will pray for you and hope it is heard. I hope you at least feel some comfort in the fact you are not alone.
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I'm not going to pretend like I know what you are going through or that I know what it's like, because I don't. I do know that if you want to keep and raise your baby right, then you have to have faith and believe in yourself.
Since obviously this "dad" was not up to the job, you will have to be independent and raise the baby on your own. But why not take that as a blessing? You don't need a man to take care of you, however you do need help right now. Many people have given you plenty of options on what you can do for shelter, food, and other neccessities. Hospitals, churches, all of those are good choices.
Once you find shelter, you need to find a job. Start saving up your money for when the baby comes, and sign up for welfare, food stamps, and WIC. These programs can be amazing help.
The first thing you will want to find is an apartment. Welfare apartments will base your pay on what kind of income you have. A friend of mine, who is also pregnant, is living in a very nice welfare apartment, and she only has to pay 20 dollars a month. When my mom had me, she didn't have an income, and we were allowed to stay in the apartment for free until she got back on her feet. You'll definitely want to look into this. Like someone else said, you may need to leave home for a while if your town doesn't have this kind of thing. Then you will want to get a used car.
Having this baby with absolutey no friends or family, zero money, nowhere to stay, and no car to drive is going to be far from easy. In fact, it's probably one of the hardest things any person will ever have to do. But it won't be impossible. Keep your head up and make it your goal in life to make a good life for you and your baby.
Good luck and I wish you the absolute best.
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Terra, I'm going to have to agree with the other columnists below: you need to go somewhere where you'll get a roof over your head and good decent meal each day. Go to a care centre, church, the police, anywhere where you feel safe and secure for both you and your baby.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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Go to police stations, welfare places ... churches... Places like that. Tell them your situation and they will help you.
As for the baby's daddy? WELL... It takes a MAN to be a daddy... it takes no one special to donate sperm and get someone pregnant!!!
He's not worth it!
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You have to let go of the "near" Maybe the best thing for you is to get out of that area where you don't have any friends or family to help you. Go to your welfare office, or another agancy immediately and explain the situation. You may have to move away for a little while, but I have a feeling a lot of good things will come with your independence.
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I'm not positive on this, but I'm sure if you visit the local hospital or police department, you can speak with someone who can find you a place to go to help care for you and your child. Since you're pregnant, it will be in their best interest to help out you and your child.
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