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I desperately want a child. I want, my husband wants, we want. However, my husband and I purposely will not conceive a child. The reason is, we feel that what we want is not the most important thing. The most important consideration is toward the person who is most directly affected. The most important consideration is toward the child. Making a life-altering decision without consulting the one most affected seems wrong. Also, there is a chance that once the child is grown, he may look back and feel “I would have preferred non-existence. There, I would have remained safe from all harm." Also, any harm that comes to the child would be my fault and my husband’s fault. If we had not conceived the child the harm would not have occurred. Do many other people think this way?
Wow. I've never thought of it this way! But it makes me recall something I once read about a certain religion that I thought was really interesting (and I'm sorry, I can't remember which religion it was, but anyway...)
They believe that all souls start out in heaven, where of course they're very happy. And God wants them to remain in heaven, but he wants them to be there by choice. If he kept them there, it would be His choice, not their's. So he sends every soul to earth, where they can live a life of free will and choose for themselves whether they want to return to Him. And all of these souls, as they await their turn to go to earth, hope that they'll end up in a loving family, with parents who will guide them in the right direction and make their time on earth as good as possible. Of course, some aren't so lucky; they end up in less fortunate situations and their time here is more difficult and painful than it is for others. But (according to this religion), there is no "non-existance" -- every soul will end up on earth at some point. If you're a good person who truly cares about the well-being of the souls you're blessed with, then you're actually doing a good thing by bringing them into your life.
I obviously don't know what your religious beliefs are (not even sure what mine are!), but I kinda feel like there's at least something to this. An egg and a sperm, and what they develop into, are just a bunch of DNA... but is a "soul" - the person inside - really created out of thin air at the moment of conception? I find that hard to fathom... I think it had to exist somewhere already. And if it's bound to end up in a human body anyway, why not yours?? You and your husband are obviously very caring and intelligent people who have given a great deal of thought to the well-being of your potential children. If that's not a sign of some wonderful parents, then I don't know what is. There may be a little soul waiting somewhere, hoping they'll be lucky enough to end up with you.
Just another way to look at it. Good luck with your decision!
My boyfriend's friend says That my bf's
Really loud and obnoxious with his friends
But quiet around me. is this good or bad?
I don't think it's necessarily good OR bad. I think it just means that he acts differently around you... which is pretty normal. Guys can be pretty goofy around their buddies; they do and say things that some girls might find offense, irritating or just plain immature. Your boyfriend likes and respects you, so of course he doesn't want to make a bad impression.
Also, it's normal to be a little shy and quiet around someone you really like, but don't know that well yet. Once you get to know each other a little better, he'll feel more comfortable and will probably loosen up some.
13/f
so I was in gymnastics when i was like 8 or 9, but I had to quit. Ive always loved the sport, and now i really wanna join again! I have lost a lot of my flexibility and my ability to do flips and such (I can do cartwheels [normal and one handed] and front hand spring on the trampoline [ but not on the ground] ) Is there any like flips or any type of well..skill that i need to be able to get back into gymnastics without trouble (ex. front&back handsprings or something) Im pretty sure i could do them, even on the ground, but im always really paranoid that im gunna land on my head and break my neck or something.
My questions basically are:
1) is there anything (flips etc) that i need to master to get back in?
2) What are some ways that i can get my flexibility back?
3) How can i learn not to be so paranoid about breaking my neck?
ANYTHING else you want to add just add it, i really need the help.
Thanks bunches and bunches :)
Hi! I'm a gymnastics coach, so I can answer all of your questions:
1) is there anything (flips etc) that i need to master to get back in?
No, you don't need to master anything before getting back into gymnastics; you'll learn what you need to know once you're there. Most gyms offer classes for all levels (beginner through teams), and they will place you in a class that best suits your ability. Once you start, they'll let you know what you need in order to progess to the next level. Even if you're anxious to move up quickly, it's always best to learn the skills in the gym with the guidance of a coach, rather than trying to do them at home on your own. That way, you'll be learning the proper technique, and more importantly, you'll be safe!
2) What are some ways that i can get my flexibility back?
Stretch every day! Your right and left leg splits, middle splits, and bridges. There's not a lot to it... just be dedicated and work on it every day! That's the only way to increase your flexibility.
3) How can i learn not to be so paranoid about breaking my neck?
By taking things one step at a time, and mastering the basic skills before attempting the more advanced ones. Although some skills seem complicated and scary, every skill can be broken down into smaller, basic movements. Your coach will give you drills and exercises to help you master each segment of the skill; then you'll be able to put them together and perform the entire skill safely, correctly, and confidently. A good, responsible coach will never ask you to perform a skill you aren't ready for... but if you're still fearful, even once the coach thinks you're ready, tell the coach you want to back up and continue working on drills until you feel more confident.
Good luck and have fun! =]
my teeth arent the straightest. i mean everything is perfect except for this one tooth that goes outwards and i hate it.
and they arent so white either, whiters just dont seem to work for me that well. :[
so i have two questions:
1. whenever im with a guy, im always so self concious about talking, because i know its not just me that does this, but when someones talking to me, i always seem to be focused on thier teeth the most. and sonce i dont have great teeth, im afraid they are going to be like... ew. or something.
i heard that if you push on your tooth kind of hard every day then sooner or later it will kind of move into place a little better. is that true? i was thinking about trying it!
2. how can i get my teeth white, that i can do at home with no money, im broke haha.
id really appreciate it also if guys could tell me if they concentrate hard of girls teeth, and if they arent straight and not really white, is that a turn off?
thank you all!
I really don't think people concentrate on teeth as much as you think. The only reason YOU notice people's teeth is because you're so self-concious about your own... so you look at others' to compare them. That's how I am with noses... I hate my nose, so I always look at other people's noses and think how much better their's looks than mine! But I doubt most people give noses nearly as much thought as I do. And I bet it's the same way with you and teeth.
If the crooked tooth really bothers you a lot, go to the orthodontist for a consultation (which most orthos will do for free). Just find out what would be involved in getting that tooth fixed, and how much it would cost. Even if you can't afford it right now, you can make it a goal for the future... but at least you'll have a realistic idea of what would be involved.
As for whitening... I just got my teeth whitened at the dentist (the Zoom treatment). It was $299.00, and totally worth it. That's really not a huge sum of money when you compare it to some of the other things you might spend money on (clothes, going out to eat, movies, etc... you can spend $299 on those things really quick). If it's really important to you, and you're willing to make a few temporary sacrifices, you can come up with the money... and you'll have something of lasting value (white teeth) that you'll be happy with for a long time!
we are going to be reading the Merchant of Venice and with our books, they need to be covered. they have to also pertain to the elizabethan era. one example shown in class was velvet with jewels and a ribbon. i want to be completely creative and conjure up a great cover. any ideas? i will give feedback to any help! (: thank you so much!
Hmmmm... well, you know how in the Elizabethan era they wore those great big round Elizabethan collars? You could put something like that on the cover, or around the whole book. Here's some pics:
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y27/mrsmogul/New%20Blog%20Album/elizabeth_l.jpg
http://www.tudorhistory.org/elizabeth/armadalarge.jpg
Or you could make the cover look like a whole shirt, with the collar thing at the top and decorations down the front, like this:
http://www.adam-n-eve.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/elizabethn-courtier1.thumbnail.jpg
my mum found a bit of papaer in my school blazer that me and my mates were messing around on and writing silly things e.g. luke wants a candy thong
and when she read it she said i am getting worried about you what does she mean
I bet your mum did goofy things like that herself when she was your age... but maybe she's just forgotten! Or maybe she was saying it in a joking way? But if she seems genuinely worried, just reassure her; Luke doesn't REALLY want a candy thong, we were just teasing! Of course, she may feel that you're too young to even be joking about things like candy thongs, and worries about you losing your "innocence". Mums can have a tough time with their kids growing up and talking/thinking about anything related to sex... especially if it's something she thinks sounds "kinky." If it bothers her that you talk about those things, well, it's probably best to be a little more careful about where you leave your notes! =]
Im 14 nearly 15. I live in England, London.
Well, basicly I really want to become a cheerleader. I want to know that before i try out, is there anything I could do at home to make me more flexible or anything like that. Anything that could help me increase my chance of being on a squad.
Thanks, Vikki x
Well, the best thing you can do is enroll in a tumbling or cheer class. But since you asked for things you can do at home, here are a few exercises to help your flexibility and jumps:
Stretching your Right & Left Leg Splits:
Sitting up tall on your knees, extend one leg straight in front of you and lean forward, trying to touch your chin to your knee (you should feel a stretch in the back of your leg); hold for 15 seconds. Then, keeping your front foot in place, bend your front knee and lean forward, pushing your hip toward the floor (you should feel a stretch on the top of your back leg); hold for 15 seconds. From there, slide down as far as you can into a split, and hold for 3-5 minutes. Every minute or so, take a deep breath, then let it out slowly as you push yourself down a little further. Be sure to do both legs.
Stretching your Middle Splits:
Pancake Stretch - Sitting in as big a straddle as you can, slide your hands out as far as you can in front of you; ultimately, you want to be able to stretch all the way forward until your chest and stomach can touch the floor.
Stretching with weights:
Wearing some 1-3 pound ankle weights, lie on the floor with your legs up against the wall, and straddle, trying to get your feet as close as you can to the floor. Hold that position for a while (you can read a magazine or something).
T-Kicks:
Standing up straight with your arms extended out to the side in a wide V, kick each leg up to the side 10-20 times. Be sure to keep your knee pointing up to the ceiling, and not turned toward the front. This will help both your strength and flexibility for toe-touch jumps. To help with hurdler jumps, do the same thing but with your arms extended in front of you, and kick each leg high in front of you.
Jumps:
Make yourself a list of jumps you want to practice, and then practice them in front of a mirror every day. Do 10-20 of each jump every day, and this will help a lot!
The main thing is to practice every day! It's easier to make it a habit if you can do it the same time each day (first thing in the morning, or right after school, or whatever, as long as you're consistant). Make yourself a little chart and check off the exercises as you do them; that gives you a good feeling of accomplishment!
Good luck!
I am beginning to write a book. I'm going to type it on Microsoft Word but I don't know the format I should use. Can someone tell me the font and text size I should type it in and margins and stuff like that. Thank you.
I don't need ideas on the book, I just need to know how I should type it up.
Thank you :)
You really don't have to worry about format until you've finished writing it and are ready to submit it to a publisher. The publisher will let you know what format they recommend, based on the length of your book, the target audience, etc. Once they let you know, you can reformat it however they suggest. (Since it's on Word, that's as easy as a couple of clicks). Of course, if you're printing/publishing the book yourself, you can do it however you want!
my knee dislocated today i need to know what will help the pain and what can i do to stop it from happening again today was my second day.. i need your help fast
Well, whenever you have an injury like that, remember R.I.C.E., which stands for:
Rest
Ice
Compression (ie; keep it wrapped)
Elevation (rest with your knee elevated higher than your heart).
You should probably wear a knee brace when you're doing any sports or physical activity. And you really ought to have it checked out by a doctor if it happens again.
does anyeone know how do you take pictures with this effect http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/153/12643~Dog-Labrador-Posters.jpg
dont tell me to just take it from the top...cause i know theres a name for this kind of pictures but i cant remember and cant find a better example i just rememberd that this figures had it , so if you could help me that would be awesome :) thnx
I think they use a special kind of lens -- I think it's called a fisheye lens? -- that distorts the picture and makes (in this instance) the nose look large or close/up.
I recently got a new kitten. He is very vocal. My boyfriend wants him to sleep in the bathroom at night to make sure he uses the litterbox. problem is, he meows A LOT. He's lonely and wants me to be by him. if it were my choice i would have him in bed with me (so far he always uses the box during the day). My boyfriend gets so so mad at night with its meowing and has been putting him in the laundry room, which is cold and unfamiliar to the kitten. i feel bad, so then I make a bed in there and sleep with the kitten. My boyfriend can still here it meow if I am not there and he gets real mad that I wont sleep in bed with him. it causes daily arguments and i am so tired of arguing. I dont want him to be mad, but I don't want my kitten to be lonely either. Please help! and and all suggestions welcome.
If your boyfriend's only concern is about the cat using the litterbox, he doesn't need to worry. Cats, even young kittens, have a natural instinct to go in the litter box. Even if he's sleeping in another room, if he has to go, he'll find his way to the litter box. As long as it's always in the same place, he'll have no trouble finding it.
Ask your boyfriend if he'd be willing to try and experiment: let the kitten have the run of the house for a few nights, and see how it goes. If he doesn't use the litterbox, you can agree to keep in the bathroom or laundryroom again. But chances are, he'll use the litterbox, and all will be fine.
Good luck! =]
My best friend is really pretty. Guys are constantly talkiing to her and commenting on her looks. I feel so awkward just standing therewhile all the guys are allhitting on her. I mean--i'm not ugly but they never do anything like that to me. i feel extremely ugly when i'm with her.I feel bad to be saying this,, but what should i do? liek i feel like im jealous of her maybe?? I don't have a low self esteem any other time--it's just with her. I try not to let it get to me--but after a while it does. How do i get guys to pay attention to me too? and what else should i do?
I had the same problem... my best friend was totally gorgeous, and whenever I was with her I felt like an old stump. So I know how you feel. Unfortunately, you can't make your friend any less attractive... but if you dwell on it and let it make you feel bad about yourself, those feeling will show through to others... and that will make YOU less attractive.
Try to think of it this way. Your friend may be the one attracting the guys, but since you're with her, you get to benefit from it! Sure, they may come over to talk to her, but you can join in and start talking to them as well. Instead of leaving or standing there quietly pouting, jump into the conversation and let them get to know you! As someone already said, looks aren't everything: I can think of tons of girls who aren't exactly runway models, but always have the guys' attention because they're friendly, outgoing and full of self confidence. If your attitude is "I have just as much right to their attention as she does", that attitude will shine through and the guys will come to feel that way, too.
I probably wouldn't mention your feelings to your friend, though. That will only make her feel bad or guilty... and after all, she can't help it. Besides, if she's a good friend, she probably already has a hint of how you might feel. If you bring it up, that might put a strain on your friendship.
Good luck! =]
I'm a girl. I have hair on my upper lip. Most girls do, but I have black hair, and it's getting to be obnoxiously noticeable. I don't want to wax it though, because I don't want it to grow back all super-dark and thick and stubbly. That would be worse!! I don't know what to do though.. prom's coming up!
Waxing is really the best way to go. It won't make your hair grow back darker or thicker or stubbly (that's what shaving will do). Waxing actually has the opposite effect; since it pulls the hair out by the root, the hair folicles become damaged and eventually stop growing. Over time, the hair actually starts to come back in thinner.
The first couple times you get a wax, you might get some small red bumps, which will go away in an hour or so. But you'll probably want to schedule your wax for a few days before prom, just to be safe!
So, my best friends party is just going to be me, her, & two more of our friends & it's going to be at Six Flags Saturday. One problem - I've never been on a roller coaster in my entire life. In fact, I'm actually scared of heights a little bit. I really want to go, but I'm kind of nervous, & I don't want to go on some ride that I'll start panicking on & yelling for them to stop the ride. Anyone who's been to Six Flags, what are some of the rides that I'd be able to ride...without freaking out on?
I was the same as you once... even the idea of a roller coaster terrified me. Then my dad forced me to go on one (a BIG one!). I literally thought I was gonna have a heart attack while we waited in line... I was sooooo scared! But once the ride was over - WOW! - it was so awesome I raced back to do it again! Now I love roller coasters, and I've dragged lots of my chicken friends on them and converted them, too.
You can do it! Start out with some of the smaller ones. You didn't say which Six Flags you're going to (they have 'em all over), but there's usually some smaller "mine train" types that are pretty tame, although they can be a little bumpy. Then there's the big wooden red, white & blue one (Judge Roy Scream, Scream Machine, American Eagle, depending on which park you're at). That's a great one for beginners... even though it's tall, it's pretty smooth and doesn't go upside down. Once you've done those, you're ready for the ones that go upside down.
Don't worry. While you're waiting in line, you might be nervous, but that's part of the fun. Once you're on the ride, though, you probably won't freak out. You might be screaming, but so will everyone else!
If you really can't do it, though, you can still wait in line with your friends; once you get up there, you can cross over and wait on the other side while your friends ride the ride. But try to give it a shot... you'll probably end up loving it!
Good luck!
My parents are fighting. They are not considering a divorce but one in a while they just go at each other. It's really sad and since i am the oldest i want to do something about it. My little sisters get sad and cry when they fight and i want to help them. What can i do to make them realize what they are doing wrong? They both blame each other for things but truthfully it is always equally both their fault! I really need some good advice. Please don't give me the "talk to them" answer because right know i don't want to start anything else. Please help me. I really want to fix this becuase everytime they fight it bring up all these past things from like 15 years ago! Who cares about those things! Please help me. (sorry if this is long, i just feel very unstable and sad right now).
Well, you probably won't be able to stop your parents from fighting. But you might be able to stop them from fighting in front of you and your sisters. I know you said you don't want the "talk to them" answer... but what about writing them a note? You could say something like:
"Dear Mom & Dad, I'm sure you don't realize this, but sometimes when you get in a fight, it really scares and worries us. I know that there are times you disagree about things, and that every couple fights sometimes, but if it's possible to wait until we're not around, it would really make us feel better. We love you both and it just hurts to see you get angry with each other."
I'm sure they already realize that nasty fights in front of their kids are disturbing... and they probably feel pretty guilty about it. But when they're caught up in the heat of the arguement, they might forget that. So giving them a gentle reminder really might help. After reading your note, hopefully they'll make a pact, for your sake, to try a bit harder to keep things civil in front of you and your sisters.
Good luck!
Ok, so on myspace, a lot of times people post incredibly stupid bulletins, and they think they know everything for doing so. I know I don't know everything. Now I don't want to message them about it, because usually, i'm talking to everyone. It seems as though no matter what I post as a bulletin, people STILL get really pissed at me for voicing my opinion. Like, I saw a bulletin that said something along the lines of "Be a vegan PETA is the best!" ((now, I agree with some of peta's points, but most of their ways of "awaring" the public are pretty extreme)) So, this bulletin makes me remember a video or article I've read. I go and look it up and post a simple bulletin that states "Wow, some of this stuff is pretty extreme, but they have some good points" and I post the video, in which the director tells the good parts and bad parts of PETA. All of a sudden I get some message that reads "You stupid dumb bitch you don't know what your talking about".I don't get it, why can THEY voice their opinion, but whenever I do, they lash out at me??? I try not to do this to every bulletin, in fact, I only do it to the ones that are pretty false. I try not to sound harsh about my opinions, because I just want to speak my opinion, not start a fight. Why does this keep happening? Should I just stop trying to voice my opinion all together? I know it's just the internet, but I just don't get it. Thanks...it probably didn't need to be this long, sorry...
There's nothing wrong with voicing your opinion. And if your opinion differs from someone else's, it can be fun to have a friendly debate about it. But if you want to keep things civil and avoid hard feelings, you have to be careful with the timing and the way you say things. And there really are times when it's best to keep your opinion to yourself.
For instance... let's say you post a bulletin saying, "I love country music!" And then someone immediately posts one saying "Country music stinks!" Well, of course they're entitled to their opinion. And if they'd just randomly said that out of the blue, it'd be no big deal. But since it seems to be a response to your bulletin, it might come across like they're publicly dissing your musical taste or trying to insult you... and you might be a little hurt of offended.
The truth is, no one likes to be told they're wrong... especially in public. If someone says something you disagree with, 9 times out of 10 it's probably best to just let it slide. If it's something you really feel strongly about, and you just can't resist giving your opinion on the matter, do it privately, so the person isn't embarrassed. But even then, think carefully about your motives, and what you're trying to accomplish. If there's no good reason behind it, you'll just come across as being arguementative.
It sounds like you really enjoy giving your opinion, especially if it differs from someone else's. You might like joining a debate team! And you'd probably be a great trial lawyer!
Ok everything started off great with my boyfriend.Then he got super annoying and thinks that I am perfect in every way which sounds great. He is the most annoying person ever though. He always acts obnoxious. and then he accidentally called me his ex girlfrineds name. Then I heard he liked another girl then denied it. he left flowers on my doorstep. now i definatly feel bad dumping him. what do i do? By the way im 14 and im a girl.
It's funny how that works, isn't it? Every girl dreams of having a guy who worships them and thinks they're the greatest thing on earth. Then when we get one, we find it annoying! I wonder why that is?
Maybe it's because we feel we should be saying and feeling the same way about him... and if we don't, we feel guilty. Or maybe it's because when a guy makes you feel like the superior one, it automatically makes him seem inferior. And of course we don't like that, because relationships work best when both people think of each other as equals.
I don't know... but if you aren't happy with this guy, then there's no point in staying with him. Yeah, it stinks to break someone's heart, but he'll get over it... and probably quicker than you think. Guys fall hard but they bounce back pretty fast.
And just let this experience be a lesson to you. Next time you're head over heals about a guy, be sure not to act towards him the way this guy has acted towards you. As you've already seen, it can be annoying!
im currently a sophomore. im on jv this year and im captain. i tried out today for varsity for next years squad and did not make it. the varsity coach said im the next alternate for varsity if someone on varsity quits. she said i was 25 points away and i was so close. im the only junior that made the jv team for next year. its so embarassing! i dont want to do jv again but im worried if i dont and a girl gets hurt, i could have been on varsity. i just dont want to do the whole year on jv being the ONLY junior and get made fun of, but i really want to make varsity if someone quits. i just dont wanna get crap for being the oldest but im dying to get on varsity! please give me advice?!?!
Wow, I'm really sorry you didn't make varsity. I completely understand how you feel, and it really does stink. But here are a couple things to think about:
If you stay on JV, then yes, there's a chance you'll be on it all year. However, if you really love cheering, at least you'll have the chance to do it. Plus, you'll be keeping up your skills, and hopefully improving them, all year... which will make it easier to make varsity when you try out for your senior year. And who knows, maybe they WILL need an alternate, and you'll end up on varsity next year after all.
If you quit now, then of course there's no chance to move up to varsity if they need an alternate. And if you're out of cheer all year, you'll probably lose some of your skills, making it even harder to make varsity next time around.
Of course, none of this deals with the embarrassment factor. So let me tell you about Rachel and Julia, two girls at my High School who made JV their junior year. Julia stuck with it, and did JV all year; Rachel quit and didn't cheer at all. And here's what people said/thought:
As for Rachel, everyone said she was being a spoiled baby and should've been happy to make any squad. By quitting, she came across as a snob who only cared about the status of being on varsity. People really looked down on her for quitting. As for Julia (who was the only junior on JV)... nobody made fun of her at all. If they said anything, it was "Wow, she should've made varsity! She's so good!". They respected her for doing what she loved and not caring how it looked. And of course she made varsity the next year, and all was good.
So yeah... I think you should think carefully about how much you like cheering, and how much you'd miss it if you quit. If it's something you love, then stay with it!
so i've been dating this guy for 5 months but 2 days before our 5 month he broke up with me saying "his feelings changed"
but know hes saying everytime he sees me smile he thinks he made the wrong choice and wants to date again just not anytime soon
i have no idea what i should about him cuz i still really like him....but i cant tell if hes playing me of not?
Well, it sounds like he might still like you a little bit, but only enough to use you as a backup plan if nothing better comes along. And as much as you might like him, I'm sure you don't want a boyfriend who only wants you when he feels like it. You want a guy who is so totally crazy about you that he'll do whatever it takes to keep you and won't take any chances of letting you get away.
You might think that if you tell him how you feel, he'll realize what he's lost and want you back. But unfortunately, it doesn't usually work that way. If he knows you still really like him, it will just convince him that you'll always be there waiting for him, if and when he decides he wants you. So he'll keep stringing you along, saying he might want to date you again sometime, just to keep you there in his back pocket.
I think you need to put this guy behind you and work on moving on. Focus on all the important things in your life... friends, school, family, whatever activies you're involved in. That will show him, and everyone else, that you're a confident person who knows what you're worth, and that you won't sit around waiting for someone who doesn't appreciate you for all the wonderful things you are. This will not only make you happier, it will also make you more attractive... to him, and every other guy! And who knows... maybe he WILL realize what a mistake he's made and ask you out again. And then YOU can decide whether you want him back or not!
I'm sitting at this table for prom and theres this one girl that hates me. she wanted me out of the table but i talked to the other people at the table and they said that i should stay.. so im gonna. but if that girl were to say something to me what should i say back?
If this girl says something rude to you in front of all those people, it will only make her look bad. Don't make yourself look just as bad by saying something rude back. If she makes any snide remarks, just ignore them; act like you didn't even hear it. If she actually says something rude to you, just calmly say "I'm sorry you feel that way", and go back to what you were doing. Don't let her or anyone else see that it bothers you. And really, you should try not to let it bother you! This is your prom and you should enjoy it!