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boyfriend hates kitten
I recently got a new kitten. He is very vocal. My boyfriend wants him to sleep in the bathroom at night to make sure he uses the litterbox. problem is, he meows A LOT. He's lonely and wants me to be by him. if it were my choice i would have him in bed with me (so far he always uses the box during the day). My boyfriend gets so so mad at night with its meowing and has been putting him in the laundry room, which is cold and unfamiliar to the kitten. i feel bad, so then I make a bed in there and sleep with the kitten. My boyfriend can still here it meow if I am not there and he gets real mad that I wont sleep in bed with him. it causes daily arguments and i am so tired of arguing. I dont want him to be mad, but I don't want my kitten to be lonely either. Please help! and and all suggestions welcome.
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If your boyfriend's only concern is about the cat using the litterbox, he doesn't need to worry. Cats, even young kittens, have a natural instinct to go in the litter box. Even if he's sleeping in another room, if he has to go, he'll find his way to the litter box. As long as it's always in the same place, he'll have no trouble finding it.
Ask your boyfriend if he'd be willing to try and experiment: let the kitten have the run of the house for a few nights, and see how it goes. If he doesn't use the litterbox, you can agree to keep in the bathroom or laundryroom again. But chances are, he'll use the litterbox, and all will be fine.
Good luck! =]
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If this kitten is more then 10-12 weeks old (which it ought to be, to have been taken from its mother) and it has been in your home for more then a week, then you need to stop. The cat needs to learn how to deal with loneliness without becoming a pain in the ass.
If it is less then 12 weeks, or has only been in your home for a few days, you can keep babying it a bit longer, but be ready to follow my advice in the next little while if the mewing does not stop on it's own.
After a week or so, your cat should have developed confidence in it's new surrounding and no longer being mewing out of geunine feeling, it will simply be meowing because you've taught him to meow. When he mews you are rewarding him with affection and attention. If you keep doing it, soon he will just walk around meowing and howling just for the fun of it.
If you don't develope a bit of a backbone and let the growing kitten sob, soon you will have a cat with much more powerful vocal cords doing the exact same thing everytime you leave the house. Your neighbors will be even less understanding then your boyfriend, and they'll be right.
First off: Take him to a vet if you haven't already and make sure there is no physical reason for the meowing.
Secondly: Exercise him and play with him so he is get tired, and doesn't mew simply out of boredom. Encourage your boyfriend to do the same. The kitten needs attention and socialization, on your schedule though, not his. Provide toys and a warm blanket for him in his sleeping area. Checking in on him is fine, but ONLY when he quites down.
Thirdly: Pay attention to kitty and give him what he wants, but ONLY when he is quiet. If he starts trying to bully you with mewing (and it IS bullying you) don't give in. If you wait until the kitten is quiet, he will learn that Silence = Rewards and Love!
If you've already trained him too firmly to mew, you might need to get out a water sprayer or another form of determent to teach him to stop, but hopefully he is still young enough that if you simply behave yourself, he'll follow suit.
When you take control of the situation your kitten will start to understand, and your boyfriend will feel more confident. Just explain to your boyfriend what you are doing. Explain to him that he needs to be patient and support of your kitten as he learns, he needs to help socialize the kitten by playing with it and ignoring it when it mews.
YOU have to take responsibilty for training and making your cat a pleasant member of the household. That means not running to him eachtime he makes a peep. That is your job. If you mess it up you'll be stuck with an unpleasant pet for years, so do it right.
(FYI, I'm sure you've heard the advice that cats often do best in pairs. Your problem is one of the reaons why.)
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EDIT: Yes, as he is still a bit young to be seperated from his mother it would be a good idea to continue to give him attention for another week or two. Carrying him close to your body during then day will help comfort him and keep him warm (of course, put him down for a bit if he begins to mew too much to begin to give him the idea that isn't fun for you to hear). Perparing his bed with a towel or stuff animal and making the enviroment warm will help him be more comforable.
You might also think about moving him into your room BUT putting him in a carrying crate if you do not want him in your bed. The kitten might behave just fine when he can at least see and smell where you are.
One last note: Tell your boyfriend to grow up and have some senstivity. I hope you don't plan on having kids with this guy. If he can't manage a kitten I don't know how he'd bare with a child.
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Yeah, your kitten is lonely, and if he is not socialized early, he's likely to become mean or at least aloof. Probably NOT what you got a kitten for.
Kittens are generally good about using the litterbox. That should not be an issue; it's instinctive to go where the waste can be buried. There are always exceptions, of course (like, kittens raised outdoors then brought inside, and kittens who are sick), but your home is actually in more danger from little claws than from litter box accidents.
The vocal stage will mellow out (again, in most cases), as will some of the other "cute at first but old now" kitten behaviors, but meanwhile, you should take every possible opportunity to be with the kitten and play and visit with him. And actually...your boyfriend should too. Separating him (the kitten, that is) from you is probably only making him anxious, which eventually leads to a host of other problems.
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