ChOcOLoLo's advice column

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Q: Alright, so like I like this girl, she knows it, she's not sure if she likes me. She showed me her webpage today, and one of the comments says that she had her first kiss. I don't know what to say about that. Like just a few weeks, a month and a half at most, ago. She said her current relationship is almost over, but... I don't know. Honestly. I kept reading the page, and it turns out she had had like 3 boyfriends in the last three or four months. But I don't think they really LOVED her. I absolutely positively love her and I know that she's the one for me. Judging by how she broke up with the others, it looks like they didn't really love her, they were just the guys who look for "is she hot" and all. Like one person said he didn't like it when she acted all weird. Yeah, she's spassy, but I don't give a damn, I love her just the same! I told her that, but hey. We're 13. I don't know if she believes it, or knows what true love is considering the others. But she may love me. I recently asked her to a carnival as *cough* friends, and she didn't say "ok" or "sure" or "yes". She said "I'd love to!" which made me feel that it was right. I don't know why. I just did.

I really don't want her to have others. I want to be the only one. She has no idea how much I love her, it's more than anyone could possibly love anyone else. But she's already had a first kiss... so I don't know... it was someone who she's known her whole life, whereas we only met a year ago, so she may choose him over me. I really don't want anyone else to have her... really....

And then I commented on one of the people who she talked about breaking up with on her web page. I said that he was annoying, but not in those words, if you catch my drift. About two minutes passed. She logged off of AIM. I thought to myself, "Jeez. At least say goodbye." But then I realized that it would have been the perfect time to ask her out, just after dissing her ex (she has exes =( judging by the other stories I've read, the exes will come back to her, I just know it!!!) and so I think she was waiting for me to ask her out, but then thought that I was to shallow for that or something since it took so long. Jeez, I wrote the girl a song, even though I suck at songwriting, I can't be shallow! So now I'm worrying about are our chances over, could she be with the person she kissed, what if her exes come back, maybe she doesn't like me in the first place, what if she's making a hard decision and is going to choose the person who's not me, what if one day we kiss and it's not her first but it is hers, and so now I'm spassing and worrying and I just really want to have her! Sorry it's so insanely long... I'm just going through a hard time.

Hey there! The best thing to do is tell her exactly how you feel. Don't shy away and assume things, because the more you keep from not telling her how you feel, the more she might belieive that you don't care. Be honest with how you feel, because you may never know how she might react or she will never know how much of a great, caring guy you are. So go for it! I give you props for being that caring person that you are! Good luck!

Q: hi my name is jess ive been going out with my boyfriend for days so far. But today when i was at my friends house a kid in her neighborhood said he was going out with this other girl to. How can i find out with out hurting our relationship if hes cheatin on me.
Ps. he does have a history of cheating when he was going out with my friends.
luv jess

Hey there! In order to ask your boyfriend if he is cheating on you, but at the same time not to harm the relationship, talk to him calmly and be as straight-forward as possible. Talk to him alone and ask him where he would want the relationship to go from here. Also, tell him that someone had told you that he was going out with someone else, and ask him if this is true.
If he answers honestly that he is not cheating on you, move on. Because if a guy really likes/loves you, he would be honest, even if the truth hurted. But if this guy lies, and you find later that he cheated on you, I suggest that you not go on with the relationship. Try not to go out with guys who seem to be there for only a litle while, but rather go for the guys who stay for a really long time.

Q: ive got a frend and hes all like im rich im getting this and that but he lives in the same type of house as me hes got a different and cheaper car than mine he says he has original art worth £20,000 and he has but its no one famous and if you sell some art for £20,000 a go and you sell 4 you become famous huh hes really annoying wht do i do

Hey there! I kind of think your friend is trying to make you jealous... Try to not pay attention to him when he's bragging, because he'll make a big deal out of it and continue to annoy you more. If he still continues to do this, tell it to him straight-"Look, I know you're going to get this, and get that. You don't have to brag. Or, "Can you stop? Its really bothering me." If he still doesn't understand, I suggest that you not talk to him as much because real friends respect each other, also stop when they know that they are bothering a certain person.

Q: My best friend probably has the worst life i could imagine. Her home life is a wreck, her mother constantly yells and screams and blames her for her family problems. She can't even spend an entire day in her house without getting blamed and screamed at. Her mom has this "disease" which i personally think is just a scapegoat, considering her mom just sits on the couch all day, smokes, watchews tv, and eats. She dosn't work or anything, and when my best friend comes home, she just harrasses her. Caling her a slut, a cunt, bitch, anything.

Her younger brother gets everything he wants, and i hate to tell her this, but he sells drugs, hangs out with the worst crowd ever, and yet her family idolizes it. the only two that ever notice his bad habbits are her and i, her family thinks he's just a fine kid. and they spoil him to death.

her house is aweful, her father always works and it's just a disaster. her mom never cleans up, her brother makes messes and my best friend is left to cope with it. it's no wonder why she's always leaving and getting outof the house .. she's basically lives at my house.

last week her mother beat her (her mom was drunk) and she kicked her out of her house. she drove over to my house, and stayed the night. the next day cops were here saying that she stole her car and had to return home. my mother and her have talked and my mom really wishes to have her live with us, her home life is just aweful. but her parents won't allow it.

so much more happens to her that i just can't sum up in this. i feel aweful and don't know what to do for her. no one takes her seriously and im afraid one day she's going to snap. she's the nicest, most prettiuest person i know, and no one would ever expect her to have this life. i;m scared one day it's all going to end, she's going to go down the wrong path or take her life. idk what to do for her. she needs to get out of that house. help her.

Hey there! First of all, I would like to say that you are a really great friend! =D. What you could do is have a conference with your friend and her mother, along with you and your mother to inform her [friend's mother] about the things that her daughter is going through, how it affects her, and how she feels. Also, you could tell your friend to see an adult person like a councelor because it seems that she doesn't have that older person in her life to support her. I hope everything works out...Take care!

Q: I really im in love with this boy, but he has 3 g/f`s. yea, he's a big player. i have tried and tried to get over him, but i just can't. I dont think he would really like me, because he likes darker girls like mexican girls. What should I do. (he has no clue i like him, and I wouldn't want to tell him, because I'm embarassed he'll reject me. :\)

Thanks! i RATE 5'SSS!

Hey there! Don't fall for guys who seem to have everything, but later break your heart. You kind of have to see through that image and find what his real character is. Would you really want to be with a guy who won't give all his time for you?? I know I wouldn't... Try to spend time with your friends and go out and meet new people. That perfect guy will come into your life, it just takes time. =D

I was in that same situation when I was a freshmen in high school. My crush had already gone out with almost all my friends, but I was still foolish to hold onto him, after I saw how much he hurt them. I forgot about him through time by only seeing him as a friend and spending time with my family and friends. I really hope this works. Take carez!

Q: For some reason my vagina burns when I urine, and sometimes it starts to itch and burn. Could it be allergic to my pads or tampons, please help asap

hey there! you must, must talk to your doctor before thinking that it could be something.

Q: My boyfriend and I have this game I guess you could call it. We ask eachother questions to get to know eachother better, or just to know random facts about the other person. Most of the questions are like "What attracts you to me most?" and "What do you like most about my personality?" Stuff like that. My question is does anybody have any questions I can ask him? I am completely out of questions! Thank you! =]

Hey there! OMG, I am so sorry. Its just that I meant to respond to someone's question either before yours or after yours, and I clicked on the wrong link. Sorry! =D

The kind of things you could ask to get to know your boyfriend more would be kind of like "situation-type" questions. For instance, you could ask, "if a person dropped their wallet in the street, would you A) pick it up and call the owner? and other questions... There's also this funny game called "Would you rather?" where you ask the person a question but only provide them with two answers. You'd be surprised with the answers they chose lol. Take carez...

Q: I feel so ugly.. no matter what I do, I'm always comparing myself to girls that are prettier than me, and putting myself down... I always feel like I'm not worth anything because I feel ugly.. What can I do to raise my self-esteem or make myself prettier???

Hey there! First of all, stop looking at yourself in the mirror and telling yourself that you are ugly because you are NOT. Also, don't EVER compare yourself to other girls because everyone is different, and by that way, you're underestimating yourself for how beautiful you really are.=D Right now in society, a mesage is enforced that if you are thin, you'll be more respected in the world, but this is completely untrue. You have to love yourself for who you are, and it's way better to be healthy than down-right anorexic. Never, ever compare yourself to other people because you'll never find the perfect match for everyone is different.

Q: Me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 2 years now and i love him soo much. Well we got into a REALLY REALLY big fight, and he said really mean things to me so I broke up with him and when he came to my house the next day we talked and he told me that he thinks alot different of me now and he made it pretty clear that he didn't want to get back together with me at all. I didn't mean to break up with him and I want him back, the problem is, he doesn't want me back. My heart is broken and I'm really lonely. He was my life, I was with him EVERY SINGLE DAY. I feel lonely and I don't have anyone I can really talk to about it. What should I do? How can I get him to want me back as much as I want him back?

Hey there! It is hard, but you must move on. Don't waste your life on something that may not be gained back, you know? Try to go out and meet new people and spend time with friends. Hopefully, as time passes, you guys can talk to each other again and be friends. Also, try to control your emotional outbursts, and think before actually doing, because you may regret doing something in the near future.

Q: how do you get over boys? i was with this guy for 7 months, we never officially dated but it was known that we were together. we had a sexual relationship and i fell for him big time. he suddenly started fooling around with his ex girlfriend behind my back and told me that he never really liked me to begin with. we hadnt had sex until about 8 days before we split and so he had no reason to keep me around to use me. he wasnt getting any benefits for staying with me for 7 months because i never really "did" anything for him. i know hes in denial that he never liked me. once i found out about him and his ex girlfriend (he never told me, my frined did) i decided to stop talking to him completely. i havent spoken to or seen him in 2 weeks. i unfortunatly cannto stop thinking about him. any advice...i know this was long sorry ill rate high

Don't fall for guys who just use you that way... That guy was a really low jerk, glad you're not talking to him anymore ;)lol. Try going out, meet new people and hang out with friends. You WILL meet someone who will respect you and care for you completely, so no worries.That guys wasn't worth your time. Its your time to move on. Also, if its kind of difficult to get over him, go out and do something fun with your friends, or talk with them about how you feel. They'll help you solve your problem better than you solving it by yourself... Hope everything is well :).

Q: I am really upset right now. Let me flashback:
"Kaley" and I went to the same school two years ago, and I was there since I was in first grade. She just started school there that year, so I wanted to be nice and talk to her. It turned out, we had a lot in common and by the end of the year, we were bestfriends. I went over her house a few times and we always had a blast. Then at when school ended for the summer, she was going to a different school and I was also going to a different one.
Last year, we promised eachother we would still keep in touch, which I TRIED to do but she obviously wasn't interested anymore in being there for me. Now a new year is starting again with school and everything, and she sent me an email with her AIM. She told me NOT to ever call her though because she's always "busy". Now, she was online a few seconds ago and her away message said "hey, I'm around the house. Lindsey, call me!" And then when I was on for only a few seconds, she signed off. well, my name isn't lindsey and that made me upset. I'm so upset now... how can I deal with this?

Hey! Um, I think this happened because you guys are both going to different schools. You guys were like really good friends during the school year, but now that she has moved it feels like the both of you have distanced right? Hmmm...what I would like to say is, "Don't worry". Because she is going to a different school, try to understand that she's meeting new people and experiencing new things,and also you are going through changes. Even if she seems to hang out with her other friends more,it doesn't mean that it will replace the bond you guys had back when you guys went to the same school. So go out, have fun and meet new people. Because after all, you guys are still going to remain friends.

Q: hey, well see there is this guy...and he's really sweet to me on IM. then my friend tried to set us up. like she told him to get to know me, is what i really mean. and then he told her that i sound cool, but he wouldn't talk to me. i still wanna get to know this guy but how can i do that if he won't talk to me?
-can't get him to talk

Hey there! Um, first of all, I would like to say that always be careful in chatrooms, and IMing someone you don't know. Try not to easily trust people whom you've never met before online because sometimes, there may be these stupid people playing games with your mind you know? lol. Hmm.. I kind of think that the guy may be a little nervous to meet you in person..After suggesting it, he kind of stopped talking to you, am I right? Just try to talk to him casually and regularly again before you guys suggested meeting each other, and maybe later, kind of ask it again. But always, always, always be careful online. Try to get to know this person very well before meeting him. And when you do meet him, go with a big group of your friends or an older person. Hope all works out!

Q: on AIM what does

=P
:D

and other things like that mean ? i dont know what they mean ! or if they even have a meaning. ill rate 5's for any useful serious answers

:D, this is kind of like a happy face, it shows that maybe the person could be laughing at you, or just giving you a big smile =D. This :P kind of means that the person is like fed up or something. For instance: "school was hard today =P", you know? There's this one smiley ;) that shows that you are winking at them, hehe. Take carez...;).

Q: There's this guy I really want to get to know. He's new to out school, he's cute, he's shy, and sits alone at lunch. He barely ever talks.

The bad thing is, that I'm shy, too. I'd love to get to know him, but my shyness is holding me back. How can I get over this?

Hey there! Don't be ashamed! =D Because he's new to the school, what about volunteering to show him around and help him accustom to this new school of his? Also, what about walking over there and starting a conversation with him? Like, which school he came from earlier, what sports/clubs he may be interested in, the classes he has, you know? If its kind of hard to just start talking to him on the spot, try saying "hi" to him when you guys see each other on your way to your classes. That will kind of loosen the nervousness. =) Never be ashamed and don't stop trying because of being shy, because you never know, you know? Hehe...I feel the same way too about being kind of shy to talk to guy I like, but really, DON'T be ashamed because you really never know. And lastly, try to work on being friends with him first, because you'll get to know him more that way. Not taking your crush too seriously will help you be yourself when you're around him and get to know him better.