Maybe all you need is to tell him that he really needs to be gentle with you. Just tell him what you want.
Sounds like a communication problem to me. He's gotta know that he can't treat you as one of the boys, if he's hurting you. Be careful about it, though. If he doesn't get gentler, I'd break it off. Rough guys can be dangerous.
Hope this helps!
-Siren =)

xXKaitiekat14xX
Take one of your interests, or one of your nicknames and meld it into a screen name. Mine is a mix of two of my nicknames: Siren and Aphrodite (Cytherea is another name for the goddess of love) so SirenCytherea. ^_^
Hope I helped!
-Siren =)

I think you should invite her, but TALK to her about your fears first. Explain to her that you know she had a crush on your boyfriend, and ask her if she still does.
If she does, continue. Explain to her that you WANT to invite her to your party, but you're afraid that if you do she'll try to hook up with your boyfriend. Ask her if she's willing to go to your party without trying anything, or something along those lines.
The best think you can do is talk it out with her. I hope this helped!
-Siren =)

OOH, Singing! My specialty!!
I'm going to assume you already know how to project, just not through an auditorium. I have that problem, kind of. I sing opera, so I'm really loud, but it doesn't really CARRY.
Singing is as psychological as it is physical. Your mind will play a BIG role in singing, always.
Okay, firstly, look at a spot in the VERY back of the auditorium and think about singing to that spot. Think about filling the auditorium with sound.
When you breathe, think about filling your body with air, and singing from your toes.
If you don't know how to project, I can help you, but you'd have to IM me so I can ask you questions, etc. My sn is SirenCytherea on AIM.
Hope this was helpful!
-Siren =)

Well, I would try both to see what she really wants. When a guy "feels ME up," it's usually under the shirt, but she might not want that yet.
Either that, or you can USE feeling her up over her shirt as a sort of tease, then just sorta slowwwwly reach under her shirt and all that.
I'm glad my advice helps ^_^. That's what I'm here for!
-Siren =)

I haven't dealt with an eating disorder myself, but I've had friends who have.
Don't try to stop cold turkey. You probably won't be able to - try cutting back first on the laxitives.
It might not work right away because they probably stay in your system for awhile, but try cutting back one every day, until you're not taking any.
This is gonna take a LOT of willpower on your part, so you have to really want to fix this.
Also, you're gonna have to change the way you think about food. An eating disorder is as psychological as it is a physical problem.
We eat to have energy. I have this crohn's disease thing that just recently flared up, causing me to lose six pounds in, like, five days. I couldn't eat, so I lost energy and all I could do was, like, lay around and be bored. Now that I'm able to eat, I can walk around and do things, etc. Food is FUEL!
While it's good that you realize you have an eating disorder, you need professional help, which we cannot give you. I suggest you go to a doctor, since your dad isn't really helping.
I really hope this helped a little!
-Siren =)

I think your reaction is perfectly valid. The guy used to be a player?
I say once a player, always a player. But then, I had a bad experience with one, so I'm kind of biased.
I suppose if you're worried about him just TALKING to other girls, it is a bit much. As long as you know he won't cheat, relax about him talking to other girls. Talking isn't cheating, right? ^_^
Hope this helped a bit!
-Siren =)

Ah, this.
Lemme give you a suggestion I didn't know about - use tampons!! (Just, like, when you get your period, use tampons instead of pads.)
They help stretch you out so a guy with a big dick won't hurt so much.
My guy is...not exactly small, but I am - very. It hurt the first three times and made me cry twice. >.<
Also, if it hurts, try to relax. It helps a little with pain.
When it stops hurting, it's pleasurable, but you have to get past the pain first, which sucks, lol.
It might not hurt a huge amount. I might just be bad at dealing with pain, but generally, big guy + small girl = PAIN, lol.
Hope this helped!
-Siren =)

Explain your predicament to your mother. She'll be surprisingly understanding. They always are.
My mom has been known to shock me with her reactions to things I tell her I do, or have done. She's usually like "Well, I don't approve, but okay."
It's shocking. Try it out on your mom. Just tell her you have your period and you really don't feel like going swimming.
Hope I helped!
-Siren =)

You are not stupid.
Have you TOLD him that the fact that he brings up his girlfriend bothers you like none other? He might be trying to treat you like just a friend (like, one who doesn't have a crush on him, that he could tell anything to), and ignore the fact that you like him.
I can totally see how it would bother you, though.
Talk it out calmly with him and ask him to stop telling you about his girlfriend. Point out that you're sick of fighting with him - he probably doesn't like fighting with you either.
I hope this works out!
-Siren =)

Well, I can only really answer this from a girl's point of view, and it's different for everyone.
It's...awkward, to say the least, in the beginning, and also - for me - it was very painful. It actually made me cry, and I never cry.
That doesn't happen to everyone, though. My mom told me it didn't hurt the first time she had sex, but then, she used tampons a lot beforehand, and she was a lot older.
Whereas I'm sixteen and I hardly ever used tampons before I had sex with my guy.
(If you use tampons, it can help stretch you out a little so you're not so tight)
But after it stops hurting, it feels good.
Keep in mind, though, that it's different for everyone. ^_^
-Siren =)

If you like the guy, you shouldn't worry about what your friends will think - only what you do. They're not gonna be dating him, you are!
It's perfectly fine to date someone younger than you, but keep in mind that you, being a girl, are automatically more mentall mature than he is to begin with.
The final decision is yours, but don't let your friends influence you! You have to decide.
Hope I helped!
-Siren =)

Eh, you're not stupid. There was a point in time when I didnt know what the bases were...
Okay, "getting head," I think is what you're talking about. This is for a guy - when a girl gives a guy head, she's giving him a blowjob.(There is, unfortunately, no elegant way to put this, other than a girl sucking on a guy's penis.)
A guy fingers you by inserting his finger(s) into your vagina, simulating the motion of a penis during sex (sort of).
The bases are, flatly, this:
1- French (kissing)
2- Feel (making out)
3- Finger (manual stimulation/oral (basically anything but real sex)
4- F*ck (Sexual intercourse, obviously)
I hope this helped clarify!
-Siren =)

Heh
Assure her that they're comfy, and try getting her to try one on. I think they're really comfy. I didn't think they would be until I tried one on.
Hope I helped a bit!
-Siren =)

Well, definitely don't starve yourself. That's utterly the wrong thing to do. It'll just make you sick, not skinny.
Every time you want something sweet, go for a fruit. Every time you want something crunchy or something, go for veggies, or nuts.
Give yourself one serving of everything. If you're not fat, really, you don't need to weigh 110...
I mean, my friends think I'm really skinny - I'm 5'3" and I weigh 112. I eat the wrong foods, too, but it doesn't really hurt me.
Just be careful you're not trying to make yourself too skinny!
Hope this was helpful!
-Siren =)

Firstly, the only stupid questions are the ones left unasked.
You have every right to be worried. I went to a private school for 8 years, and then in my sophomore year, I was shoved into public school unwillingly. There, however, I met a great set of friends, got a chance to sing with a great choir, and all sorts of other things.
If you go to the public school, you'll have a chance to make new friends, meet new people, and have fun.
I met my boyfriend in public school - and he really makes going there worth it.
If you want to stick with the same friends you've had, and not risk getting into trouble and all that (you'll only get into trouble if you let yourself. I've never really gotten into trouble there...) it's obviously your choice.
It's really whether or not you want a change of pace.
Hope this was helpful!
-Siren =)

Glad you like my advice =)
Okay, Let's see...He really needs to know that girls are always more mature than guys. (hence the reason I always dated guys at least a year older than me, lol)
You may not have been alive as long as he has, but it doesn't mean you're younger. (I maintain that age is a state of mind, not being) You are, in reality, probably more mature than he is, judging by the way he's handling this.
You do need to spend some time away from him and decide if you want to stay with a guy who seems to be focusing on sex as the main part of the relationship.
Does he realize that's what he's doing?
I hardly EVER say this, but I really think you should think a little more about breaking it off with him. He's handling this very childishly, whereas you sound pretty mature and able to handle a relationship like this.
You might have to get a little bitchy to get through to him. I suggest, once you've made your decision, that you sit him down (do this in person so he can't hang up or sign off) and tell him he's going to listen to what you have to say and not interrupt. You'll tell him when you're done.
Then speak your mind and tell him what's going to happen.
I really hope everything works out. If you need more help/more specific help, you can IM me - SirenCytherea on AIM.
-Siren =)

Well, if you're both "in the moment," I doubt the guy will notice.
Though, if you really don't want him to finger you, tell him not to. *Shrug* Any decent guy won't push you to do something you don't want him to do.
Hope this was helpful!
-Siren =)

Wow, you sound a LOT like my friend...
It's perfectly normal not to want to have sex as often as he does. Guys naturally have higher sex drives than we do.
Sex is sort of a plus to a relationship, but should not be the relationship's base.
I take it you've told him all this. Right?
I think you need to spend some time away from him, and/or anyone that would influence your decision, and really just think about what you want to do. Do you want to be with him?
Just think everything over and make your decision.
I hope this was helpful. If you need more advice, don't hesitate to ask.
-Siren =)

Got drunk, fell asleep, woke up with a naked guy in bed on top of you?
Eek.
I'm sorry to say you probably would not know if he raped you. Though if you were/are a virgin, you might be a little sore, which would be a way to tell.
A doctor would be able to tell for sure, though. by doctor I mean a gynocologist - If you're worried, get an appointment with someone and have them take a look at you.
If not, all you can do is believe the guy when he says you didn't have sex. *Shrug*
I hope this was helpful!
-Siren =)

I'm a laid-back 26 year old with a Psychology BA, starting my MA program, and working my way into the field as quickly as I can. It took me an extra Bachelor's degree (in vocal performance and creative writing) to figure it out, but I was put on this Earth to help, to heal, and to love.

I have made the decision to dedicate my life and career to helping others. I am here to do just that.

I've been a member since 2004, and since I signed up, I've gone through quite a lot and learned quite a lot from it. I'm here to give guidance where I had none; no one should have to go through the difficulties I went through alone.

Feel free to visit my website/blog, if you want to read my experience with domestic violence and my thoughts on it.

***While I do tend to answer mental health and other health-related or medicine-related questions, I am by NO MEANS a licensed physician or practitioner of any sort. Any and all advice I give for these questions is from my own experience or studies.***

If you need to get a hold of me quickly, my screen name on AIM is SirenCytherea. Just let me know you found me here.

I'm a strong believer in the idea that there are no stupid questions except the ones left unasked, so, please, keep an open mind, heart, and mouth.

Siren

Website:
Gender:
Age:
AIM:
Member Since:
Answers:
Last Update:
Visitors:
Main Categories:




Favorite Columnists