"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn
I came to this site for advice about a man and love. That very question turned my entire world around and I have had my eyes opened to things I never noticed before.
I've stayed here so that I can share the knowledge I do have. I know I'm not changing the world but I do hope that I spark others to open their eyes.
"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde
So, if you learn something from what I say then repeat it to someone else who can use it.
I hope that if you see an answer of mine that you enjoy it will inspire you to go out of your way to give good, solid information. Provide links for further information, detail your responses, encourage people to seek out professionals when it's needed, and stop sugar-coating responses and just say the truth.
I hope that even if you absolutely hate my answer that it'll kick start your brain. Hopefully you'll begin taking your time to respond instead of hurried answers that are useless to an already confused person.
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
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Age: 24
Member Since: October 12, 2007
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Last Update: August 15, 2011
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Okay, So my friend told me she got pregnant but
she's still a virgin.
Can you really get pregnant even though your a
virgin? (link)
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Yes.
If semen got to the moistened area of her vagina then she could have been impregnated, very easily at that.
Sperm can "swim" through fabric even as long as it's moist. It doesn't even have to be "wet" for them to be able to travel through it.
So, it could be as simple as "dry" humping. It could be as simple as jacking a guy off and then touching herself. It could be as simple as rubbing parts together but the guy not completely ejaculating inside of her. It could be as simple as a guy jacking off, getting a little of his fluid on his finger, and then fingering or rubbing her. It could be as simple as her giving a guy a blow job, kissing him, and then him going down on her.
So, in short, yes, there are many ways in which she could have gotten pregnant while still being what is considered today to be a virgin.
If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)
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16/m
hi guys.
so.... i'm very attracted to women. i date a lot of girls and with what i've heard i'm a pretty likable guy (i.e. girls like me). but lately i've found myself to be attracted to guys too... and the thought of getting sexual with a man seems to arouse me just as much as getting sexual with a woman...
so, am i bi/metro/whatever.... or do you think it's just a phase? to be honest, i feel like i'd be ok with being bi. i'm no homophobe; in fact i have quite a few gay friends. but i don't know if i for sure am bi though.... but if i am i don't know how i would tell anyone. i'd feel really scared to tell anyone i think (i go to an all-male catholic school)... and god knows what my girlfriend would think...
thanks guys. i really appreciate all you do on this site. (link)
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A lot of young adults and teenagers are in this same situation today. I understand that many people enjoy having same-sex relations; however, I honestly believe that many people are just very confused by what the media has fed them.
The media (movies, books, television, music) keeps feeding us this crap about NEEDING to be different. With that "need" has come the "need" to change our sexuality. It's fed to us every single day, take for example:
Will & Grace
"I kissed a girl" by Katy Perry
Jeffrey Starr
Ellen Degeneres
Seriously, Jeffrey Starr is a big hit and he's flamboyantly gay. Will and Grace was a huge show and the main characters are "wonderfully" gay. Ellen Degeneres has her own TV show and is a big star now because she's out and gay (seriously, what does she EVER do well?). Nothing is special about Katy Perry's song but it's been played on the radio so many times that people have it memorized. People are being told that homosexuality is glamorous, unique, and desirable--that's why there are more and more gay people every day.
The media can make you believe anything if you listen long enough. The media has told us to become more sexually promiscuous and we have. The media has told us that 13 year olds are equal to adults and we treat them like that now (and 13 year olds EXPECT to be treated as adults). The media tells us to buy this, that, and the other--and we DO! If we're open and listening, we're being sucked into it.
So many people have listened to the media about this that it's almost impossible to escape. Being homosexual now means entitlement, it seems. People WANT to be homosexual because now it means parades, attention, and even new rights. People who are homosexual believe they are special and unique now simply because they're homosexual. They can throw the, "They didn't hire me because they know I'm homosexual!" ticket even. It PAYS to be the "freak" now, you see, but we shouldn't want to be that sort of person at all.
There is NOTHING wrong with looking another male and thinking he is attractive. As a matter of fact, that is SUPPOSE to happen. You are suppose to be able to look at other human beings and say, "Wow, I wish I looked like that!" which is probably the feelings you REALLY have.
The reason question about this is:
Do you actually want to have gay sex with a male? Would you allow a man to inset genitals into your rectum? Would you inset your genitals into another man's rectum? THAT is what being bisexual means--not looking at someone and going, "Gee, he's really handsome. I wish I had abs like that!" but actually desiring sexual relations with a man/men.
It's okay to look at men and find them attractive. I have looked at women and thought, "Wow, she's really pretty!" just the same as I've looked at women and said, "Wow! I can't believe how horrible she looks!" Seeing someone of your same gender as attractive is equal to being able to see your same gender as ugly. It happens. It's why we have a drive to be physically appealing.
Why do you think they have muscular men, all greased up, on those shows advertising workout equipment for MEN? Because men think that is what looks good and want to be like those model men. Why do you think they have gorgeous girls wearing bikinis in an all-women bikini shop? Because women think that is attractive and what to look like those ladies. Not because they want bed those people.
Simply put, you're falling into the crowd. You're buying into what the media is feeding you. You're being manipulated into believing that your feelings must mean something sexual.
Life is not all sexual. Finding someone cute doesn't mean you want to sex them.
Please, before you "decide" anything, give it a lot more thought. If you "decide" to be bisexual then hold on until you're 100% sure before telling ANYONE--including your girlfriend.
If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)
P.S. I don't think you're bisexual, metrosexual, or homosexual. I think you're a teenage guy who has been fed a lot of bullshit for awhile.
...and, no, I'm not a homophobe. I'm just a person who recently woke up to the world around her. It's scary and I do pray that one day you'll be able to see what I see.
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Okay, Sometimes when I go to the bathroom and I wipe myself after going pee I have this clear white sticky gooish stuff on the toilet paper I don't know what it is? It doesn't smell, burn and it's not painful at all. I have no idea what it is?! Could anyone give me any suggestions?
Thanks so much!
BahaiMa22 (link)
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All women have discharge, varying in amount by when you are in your cycle. You are completely normal to be experiencing this.
If it bothers you then you can wear a pantyliner daily. Please do not wear a tampon as it can remove the good bacteria in your vagina (by drying it and then ripping it out) and cause an infection.
Different Discharges:
1. Before ovulation- There will be a little amount of mostly clear discharge.
2. Closer to ovulation- Discharge is moist and sticky. It is white/lightly cream colored. There is some mucus but it isn't as stretchy as it will be during ovulation.
3. At ovulation (roughly 14 days from your last period)- There will be a noticeably larger amount of discharge for a couple of days. It resembles egg whites and is stretchy. You are most fertile here (higher risk of pregnancy) and sperm entering your vagina at this time will be able to survive slightly longer than other times.
4. After ovulation- Discharge is sticky but not stretchy. Mostly clear, dwindling back to the "before ovulation" stage.
* The discharge you get when you have a yeast infection is quite different.
Vaginal yeast infections cause itching and burning, the white discharge may look similar to cottage cheese, pain during sexual intercourse, and swelling of the vulva. The discharge smells somewhat yeasty from what I've read. If you have never had one before and you suspect you do now, then you need to see your doctor for a proper diagnosis.
* Bacterial vaginosis (overgrowth of bacteria in your vagina) also means a change in your normal discharge. Many women experience an increase in discharge and a very unpleasant fishy odor; however, some women do not experience anything odd.
*STDs. Some STDs will cause your discharge to change in appearance, odor, or even texture. Examples of STDs that cause your discharge to change would be: trichomoniasis, chlamydia, genital herpes, and gonorrhea. Only a doctor can diagnose you with a specific STD.
Remember, vaginal infections, medications, and birth control can all alter the appearance of your discharge.
If you feel that something is really not normal then it's best to see your doctor. A doctor will be able to tell you if what you're experiencing is totally normal discharge or if something is going wrong. Remember that we're not doctors on Advicenators--just regular people. If something seems off then please head on down to your doctor for a quick examination of your parts.
If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)
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Hello everyone, i need some ideas on what should i buy my boyfriend who's 26, for christmas.... ive put a lot of thought into it but i still dont know what, i got 2 shirts and all but i want to get something else, better and thoughtful?1 Please help with some ideas. (link)
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I suggest baking his favorite desert. Homemade.
Or, as an alternative, making his favorite dinner and surprising him with it.
Knowing someone's "favorites" is a big deal as it is. Making something with your own hands is great.
I made a HOMEMADE chocolate cake for my guy on his birthday last year :) It was hard work but super neat. By homemade I definately do not mean something in a box. I simply looked up a chocolate cake recipe online that I thought sounded okay and bought the ingredients needed to create it.
On my birthday, my very-wonderful boyfriend surprised me with a cake too. Only he didn't bake it?! Heh. He actually took my favorite ice cream (called Chocolate Velvet Cake Ice Cream) and put a few cartons into a baking pan. He then took a couple of containers of chocolate frosting and frosted the top of it. To make it even more beautiful, he took some pink decorating frosting and decorated the cake by himself! :) He pretended he was baking a cake for me the whole time so I was REALLY surprised when he had me "cut" into it!
You could also get away with knitting, sewing, crocheting, or simply crafting him a gift with your hands. Something you made all by yourself always goes over well.
I hope you find the right gift to give your partner on Christmas. If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me!
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im seventeen a senior in high school. it seems everything has gone to shit within the past month. My dad is constantly yelling at me telling me how big of a failure i am and for me to feel sorry for him because "i dont try hard enough and take advantage of him" but little does he know how hard i try to keep straight A's but there is this one little D in english. Iv never been good in english and there is a 15 page essay due written in MLA style. I have stayed up till 5 or 6 in the morning working on this paper and only get 3 pages done. On top of that i have 7 finals in the next two days along with this paper and i have been stressing out so freaken bad and on top of that my boyfriend is cheating on me with some immature little girl. Iv been thinking of suicide. I could A. cut my throat B. take lots of my dads pills or C. hang myself with a belt attached to a wall with a walmart sack over my head. over christmas break..... one will be done. Which would you think would be best? (link)
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Please, seek out therapy. We both know this is needed.
Next, find yourself a tutor for English. Even letting your teacher know something like, "I am trying very hard in this course. I even have a tutor I meet with once a week," will show him how much effort you are putting forth in his class. I was a college English tutor for awhile and everyone I ever tutored only improved. If you ever need me to look over a paper of yours, please feel free to inbox me and we can exchange email addresses for this purpose (I have done this with another user on the site as well).
Next, sit down with your father and tell him your feelings. He probably doesn't know how stressed out you are, especially if he hasn't been in school for awhile. Tell him you need to have a serious discussion when he is available and, at his next opportunity, talk to him about your feelings. Tell him you're trying very hard in school. Tell him you're putting all of your efforts forward to make good grades to impress him. Then tell him your plan to find a tutor for English, and ask if he could help you out in that department even.
There's no need to be upset with him, really. He probably doesn't understand your difficulties in English. He probably doesn't realize how much a high school student has to go through now.
Cut out excessive social time. Seriously. I know it's hard and but take some weeks to just focus on school work. Instead of going out with friends every day, tell them you need some extra study time and you can make arrangements for such things on one particular day of the week. If everything cannot be crammed into that day then make plans for the following week. Take that time you'll have for studying and for RELAXING. Many teens go out every day or every-other-day and lose valuable study time--simply pick ONE day a week to spend with friends.
Remember study techniques also apply when you're writing essays. Make sure the room is fairly quiet and comfortable. Put on very soft classical music if you must have noise (VERY low volume). Turn off the television and turn on some lights to make sure everything is well-lighted. Have your work area already set out with necessities to get the job done--even if you're just typing on the computer you may want to have a pen, pencil, and notebook handy. If you have to go on the computer to type your essay then do not log onto the internet--most people get distracted by social networking sites and instant messenger services now. Have a glass of cool water nearby to sip on as you work. Do not study on an empty stomach (but try not to eat while studying). Take breaks frequently--every 30-45 minutes should call for a good 15 minute break away from your work. Ask other people for input on certain things--if you simply cannot figure out how to word something then ask your father, mother, brother, sister, aunt, friend, etc (even email me). Just don't spend 15 minutes on one sentence or you'll feel burned out very quickly.
As for your suicide methods, none of the above are painless so please take that into consideration. Nobody wants to die in excruciating pain.
Hangings are usually found in the knick of time--when the person is still alive but the brain doesn't function properly. Could you imagine having to live a life as a vegetable or as a now-mentally-retarded girl because you deprived your brain of oxygen for a certain amount of time? Victims of strangulation and hangings are usually bloated and purple looking when found, usually after having defecated on themselves (yes, when you die you DO lose all control of bodily functions).
Taking pills, even muscle relaxers, cause an immense amount of pain that you simply wouldn't believe! Overdosing is not as simple as falling asleep and never waking up. Many people break out into cold sweats, have seizures, severe stomach pains, and so-on. Overdosing is painful and is not a "quick, painless way out" of life. This link provides information about how a typical overdose happens:
http://www.intueri.org/2007/05/02/suicide-by-overdose-is-not-painless/
Overdosing usually leads to messy, painful and long-drawn-out consequences, including slow poisoning. There is not really a painless way to find death. If you attempt suicide, be aware that you will probably be in pain for the last bit of your consciousness, no matter what method you choose.
This is a very good scenario of what could happen from an overdose:
"Imagine suddenly having problems breathing and feeling very dizzy and weak. You have to sit down in the floor and before you know it, things are spinning around you and you break out in a sweat. You have to lay down on the floor because you're so weak. Your stomach is hurting--it feels like something is going to rip out of your flesh and eat you alive. Your body starts to shake on it's own, but your muscles hurt so bad you just can't stand it. It's hard to breath now, you're gasping for air, but you can't see anything around you. You lay on the floor, in a puddle of your own sweat, while you pray the pain stops. You begin to lose control of normal body functions, maybe you just urinated yourself. You slip in and out of consciousness, in and out of feeling jolts of extreme pain throughout your body that you can no longer control. You finally lose consciousness completely.
You wake up 6 months later. Someone, through a miracle of God, had found you in your very unpleasant state. You scared them deeply and they rushed you to the emergency room, where you spent hours of some group of workers time while they prayed they could save your life. A little 3-year-old boy died because they had to work on you before they could get to him but you won't ever know that. You're awake in a hospital bed you've been taking up for the past 6 months. You've, obviously, failed all of your classes for this year in this time. Your friends and family have became ill from worry, and a couple have begun thinking of suicide themselves for "pushing you" to it. You now have a slew of medications you have to take daily or you become ill. You've lost control of coordination and will have to have physical therapy in HOPES you regain the ability to walk. You have problems talking and your words are slewed--you'll have to go through speech therapy too.
You cannot hold a decent job if you wanted to now. You cannot even walk from to the restroom without falling twice. You cannot communicate clearly enough for most people to understand you. If you aren't up with your medication, you wet yourself, so you have to constantly be wearing Depends. Because of your medications and your physical disabilities now you have lost your license and are unable to regain the privilege of driving. Your friends and family treat you like an infant--afraid of every move you make. You no longer can live on your own because you need physical assistance. You cannot even hold a pot up long enough to get it to the stove so you don't have one at all. Your neighbors have their eye on you now--just in case--and they talk about how strange you are and that they heard this and that from why you are disabled now."
Doesn't sound so quick and simple, does it?
Now for your bag-over-head method (as I've already pointed out the flaws in hanging): very slow, very painful, and if you're found just in the "knick of time" in this case you may end up with brain damage.
Also remember that if you do pass away, someone will have to clean up your remains. I don't think anyone wants to walk into their little girl's bedroom to see a lifeless corpse. I don't think anyone even wants to walk into their little girl's bedroom to find their daughter half-alive.
After a person dies, the pain does not go away. It's almost as it's just dispersed through their family members and friends--and grows while it's at it. People who live on after a loved-one as committed suicide are more likely to commit suicide themselves. They are more likely to suffer major-depression. They are more likely to lose their job (and home, in some cases), pull away from friends and family, divorce, turn to drugs and alcohol, and suffer alone with guilt.
You see, none of your suicide methods are best, or better than others.
Suicide is not the answer you're looking for. Please, open up to a family member about NEEDING to seek therapy. If they inquire as to why, you might as well tell them. If you were going to let them find a lifeless corpse of what was you then you surely can open up and say, "I am having suicidal thoughts that need to be dealt with before something happens to me." A therapist can help you talk through the hurt you're feeling and help you uncover other methods of help that you've been overlooking. You won't gain a stigma for the rest of your life if you see a therapist. Your friends and family won't belittle you for seeking help for yourself. Since you are so young, the assistance would likely be free or very little cost.
If you don't know anyone in your family that you can open up to about your suicidal feelings then go see your high school counselor. Tell him/her about the issue and be straightforward about wanting a therapist to talk to on a regular basis. They will ENSURE you get the therapist you desire and require.
Take a deep breath. This will all pass in time. You'll live years on and look back to find this a silly moment of yours.
If you have any more questions please feel free to inbox me. Also feel free to inbox me if you would like to take me up on the offer of email exchange.
P.S. Talking to a peer is not like talking to a licensed therapist. It's great that people offer their shoulders on Advicenators but it does not replace professional help. Good friends are great to have, but in times like these you need more than that.
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17/f
How difficult is it to sew your own hoodie? I know exactly what I want but I can't seem to find a place to buy it, so I'd like to sew one. Thanks! (link)
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I haven't ever sewn or created my own hoodie; however, this is a terrific idea! I'm sure if you took your time with the project that it wouldn't be too difficult. I found a place that has step-by-step instructions (with pictures) for making your own zip-up hoodie:
http://www.craftster.org/forum/index.php?topic=177602.0
For note, that link was listed in a sewing-newbies forum, so I'm sure it can't be so difficult if you stick with it.
Make sure you read the entire thing before starting the project so you know what will be coming next in each step. Also, I do suggest purchasing a little extra fabric when you do just in case something happens and your measurements are slightly off, you want it a bit looser, or you end up adding some neat little creation to it that you didn't plan on in the beginning. As another note, you should definately read the part where the girl has lined her entire homemade hoodie (sleeves and all) with flannel for warmth in the winter! :) This being said, you can definately have a very warm hoodie if you need it.
Take your time as you go. It's better to be slow and get it right than to hurry and end up with an extra bit of fabric sticking out somewhere embarrassing. I had a friend that tried to hurry and make a pair of pants quickly and ended up with a nice little chunk of fabric sticking out of the crotch area ;) it didn't look so nice then!
I hope your project goes well and you can show up the finished product after it's all done with. If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)
P.S. If everything comes out well then you may want to think about creating a few of your homemade hoodies for friends and family...they would make terrific Christmas presents! :)
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im in 8th grade and we have to hand in science fair topics. like, what we want to test and what the procedures are. i've been looking on the internet and couldn't find anything.
so can you find me a really good science fair topic, and explain how im going to test it? thanks.
ps - the topic has to be easy/medium and not having to buy something that is hard to find (link)
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When I was younger I tested which diapers were more absorbent and did a better job than others. It was easy for me because I had relative who had recently given birth so I can a selection of diaper brands to test. I followed the scientific method and tested each diaper by placing a cup of water in it and having it sit, positioned in a cup, for three hours. Then I figured out how much water each diaper leaked, if any. Ta-da, I figured out which brand was worth the purchase.
There are a lot of science fair projects and topics you can go through with. Most of them are fairly simple an require very little money.
There are ideas like:
Which brand of popcorn seems to have most kernels popped when finished cooking? Simply purchase a few brands of popcorn and pop a few bags of each, pop them the exact same way for the exact same time, and count out how many un-popped kernels are left in each bag and see if a brand has more un-popped kernels left.
Here is a link to an idea of "Do peanuts contain enough energy for heating water? How do you measure this energy?":
http://www.all-science-fair-projects.com/science_fair_projects/39/475/cbe45aef86bab20c2fc93bb286708cee.html
Here is a link to the topic of "How Accurately Do The Egg Producers Measure Their Eggs?":
http://www.all-science-fair-projects.com/science_fair_projects/39/856/ed1dca4d573c2c275fe9e553a6afe47b.html
Check out this link for science fair project ideas:
http://www.all-science-fair-projects.com/index.php
Simply click "browse" and choose a subject from there. You can surely find something that sparks your interest. It is fairly easy to carry out the project, too, since the information on each step is already provided for you.
Here is also a science fair project idea link:
http://www.juliantrubin.com/sciencefairprojectsaz.html
Just click which category sounds interesting and choose an experiment. It will then list which grades are appropriate for which experiment. It may take a little time to find a good experiment for you, but it is very interesting and helpful. Step-by-step instructions are also provided there.
Make sure to complete the experiment yourself and not just read the sites and write down what they say happened. It's better if you do it yourself in case someone asks you questions about the experiment. Your own personal experience while doing the experiment you choose will help you out a lot.
I hope you find what you're looking for. If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)
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14/f
Ok me and my bf just started going out a few days ago. I feel so nervous around him though. I just want to know how to feel more comfortable when I'm around him. When we sit next to each other or something I kind of shake but not alot. Like he can't tell I'm shaking. I'm just nervous. Can you tell me some ways I can get more comfortable? Or anything of the sort. Thanks so much! (link)
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Although having your partner carry most of the conversation is a great idea for your nervousness, it leaves him left without any clue as to who YOU are. This being said, it isn't the greatest idea when you're trying to become closer to someone. Sure, it's great to have one person talk awhile about their likes/dislikes, but there comes a certain point where the person will feel bored with conversation.
The best thing to do is to decide upon a few things you want to talk about before you two get together. Something you enjoy. Something YOU can talk about for a few lines, at least. Something your partner can participate in somehow. You can make almost anything into a full-on discussion as long as the person is willing to talk with you.
This being said, you could even talk about make-up with the guy. Sure, guys don't like make-up, but you can bring it into a discussion of, "So, how do you feel about girls who wear a lot of make-up? I know some guys really like it and some guys don't. I understand both points but, I don't know, what goes through your head when you see a girl with tons of make-up on--or do you just not notice?" Asking a question that is a little more complex than, "Yes," or, "No," is important so you may have to lengthen a question a little bit more to get your partner involved.
If he wasn't very interested in that question and the conversation started to die you could even throw in something like, "I find it odd that guys are starting to wear make-up so frequently now. Sure, I understand they need it for movies but in real life it seems like guys are taking it way too far--don't you think?" If that STILL doesn't work then you need to relate it to something/someone you both know--like the emo kid down the road that you both aren't too fond of by saying, "Yeah, I saw Bob--that emo kid--one day and he had tons of eye make-up on. I mean, he isn't going to snag any girl that way! What in the world must he be thinking?!"
Eventually the discussion will go both ways. You'll become relaxed because you will be talking about something YOU know, something YOU are comfortable with. He won't be as bored in conversation because, although you're leading the talk, he will be actively participating. You both become closer because you both are giving and receiving information about each other.
So, take an hour or two before you two get together to decide upon a few topics you can discuss in length. It doesn't have to be complex, like I said. Very simple discussion is just fine as long as you keep asking the person for their input and view of the subject. If you need to, look up some information online on the subject you want to talk about so you have even more to say than usual. Things like, "You wouldn't believe what I read recently..." can turn into a very interesting discussion.
News is always great too, even if it's some little story like the kid named Adolf Hitler Campbell--his parents wanted a birthday cake made that read, "Happy Birthday Adolf Hitler!" Just bringing up that news story can open a whole bag of discussion. You can talk about if you would have made the cake, how the child must feel as they grow older, how the parents must be off their rockers, a good book you read about Hitler, how you think people who still follow Hitler are crazy, etc etc. Just a news story can lead into something huge :) while giving your partner an idea of who you are too.
Relax and prepare, like I said, before you meet up. It's normal to decide topics of conversation and discussion questions, believe it or not. If you leave everything one sided and only talk about what he likes then things are going to be very slow to start because:
1. You might not be interested in what he likes.
2. He gets no information out of you so he becomes bored and disinterested.
3. You may be clueless as to what he says--if you're already nervous how are you going to say, "Uh...what are you talking about?"
4. It takes longer to find common interests so it takes longer for the relationship to actually build.
Figure out what you want to talk about and go from there. It'll be easy if YOU are comfortable with the conversation. Don't let your nervousness kill off something that hasn't even started yet.
If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)
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I'm on Yaz birth control. My boyfriend and I still always use a condom when we have sex, just in case.. but lately I've been wanting to have sex without a condom, but I don't know if that's a stupid decision or not.
He says he doesn't want to.. well it's not that he doesn't want to, he just doesn't wanna risk it.
So I'm just wondering... What are the odds that I will get pregnant on Yaz? Also, if there's a history of the woman in my family being very fertile, is there more of a chance I will get pregnant.. even if I am on birth control?
Any precautions I should take if I have sex without a condom? I'd appreciate any advice, thanks! (link)
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With typical usage, the hormonal birth control pill (Yaz, in this case) is actually only 92% effective preventing pregnancy. The 99% claim they advertise is actually for perfect usage--something that could probably only be seen in a laboratory setting.
If you were perfect, the birth control pill would be 99% effective. As it is, our weight fluctuates, some of us are still growing, we sometimes experience stress (sometimes more frequently than others), we eat different foods, some days we get more exercise than others, etc. All of these things (and more) cause the pill to drop in effectiveness. In addition to the above mentioned, if you are off by just a half hour on taking the pill then the pregnancy prevention percentage drops. We are far from perfect beings, you see.
The birth control pill does not protect against sexual transmitted diseases or infections. Please keep in mind that the condom does not protect against such illnesses either and that some of these disease can cause life-long problems, including infertility and pain.
That being said, the only "safe" sex is having no sex at all. You will ALWAYS be at risk for a pregnancy. You will ALWAYS be at risk for contracting a disease or infection. There is absolutely no "method" out there that completely prevents any of this except abstinence.
In short, the answer is 92% effective with TYPICAL usage. This takes into account some of the behavior such as alternate eating and small lifestyle changes, but nothing major or time variations as to when you take the pill.
So, let's see...out of every 100 sex acts while relying only on the pill, about 8 babies will be conceived. Some of the babies will be aborted, some will be miscarriages, and some will actually be born so the number is never visually seen since you cannot calculate how many women have miscarriages and what-not so early on. Personally, it sounds way too risky for me. If I were you, I'd just use the condom and the pill together for safety's sake. What is the old saying? It's better to be safe than sorry--well it's better to be extra-cautious about preventing pregnancies than to end up with an unwanted pregnant while you're unmarried and in a transitional phase of life.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me!
P.S.
Condoms are 88% effective on preventing pregnancy with typical usage.
The "pull-out" method varies between 30% to 70% effective on preventing pregnancy with typical usage.
Neither of those help to prevent disease or infection transmission either.
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Is a 21-year-old girl too young to be dating a 35-year-old? (link)
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I'm 22 and dating a wonderful 38 year old man. We started dating when I was 21.
In my experience, it's been more positive seeing an older man in that he is, well, more experienced in life. He has already gone through what I will go through with growing up. He's already worked at various jobs and dealt with the assholes and creeps at certain types of places. He's already been where I'm heading and is more than willing to help me make it through this time in my life.
The thing is, he can steer me in the right direction. If I listen to him, he can definately help me make right choices and avoid incidents that happened to him when he went through it years ago. He knows how to effectively communicate and get his thoughts and ideas through. It, obviously, helps that he cares about me ;) but it's nice to know he can safely tell me how to handle things from his previous experiences.
Maturity level is high for older men. They have stopped wasting time years ago if they're even decently intelligent. They have a better idea of how to treat a lady usually (my man opens doors for me, helps me out to the vehicle, carries the heavy things up to his house, buys me dinner, takes me out to movies, etc etc). If they aren't currently married, they are probably looking at their futures and how they want to end up a few years down the road. This doesn't mean they want to jump the gun and get married right away--but they do know what type of person they want to be with in a couple years.
The fact of the matter is there will always be someone out there, older or younger, that will try to manipulate you. This is why you have to have firm beliefs and standards. Put your foot down for what you believe.
Sexually speaking, I've seen more younger guys manipulate women into doing things they weren't sure of wanting to do. I've seen 21 year old guys talk openly with each other about raping young women. More men in their early twenties are going out to the clubs, getting wasted, picking up random strange women to sleep with, and not caring about other human beings in general. If a man cannot put their entire selves into a relationship (with you or anyone else) then how can you expect to rely on them in difficult times? You see, guys in their early 20s are new to this adult things and get frightened easily, whereas a man in his 30s or 40s already KNOWS if he can overcome a particular hurdle or not.
I'm not saying that older men are better because they are more mature (which, obviously, they are) but I'm saying that there will always be someone out there that wants to take advantage of you despite their age, race, or wealth. The trick is to keep your eyes and ears peeled out for these sorts of people. Don't hang out with pervy guys. Don't hang out with guys who have used women (they usually speak openly about this at some point). Don't see men who are into things you are not comfortable with. If a guy is going out to the bar and getting smashed every weekend then expect him to be making poor choices, especially in the sex department.
A difference is:
A man in his late 30s will drink and have a good time on the weekend. Not every weekend. Not in a crowd. Maybe a buddy or two around. Not enough alcohol to vomit and have a terrible hang-over. He's learned years ago how to have a good time without over-doing it.
A man in his early-to-mid 20s will drink and have a good time on the weekend. Usually most weekends. Happily drunken in a crowd of strangers. Enough to get completely wasted so that the following days will be completely forgotten, including the women he picked up the first night. He repeats this same thing every weekend, forcing his body to go through hell.
Older men know what they want and how to get it, for the most part. Younger men have an idea of what they want and are still testing the waters.
It's okay to be attracted to older men, as long as you can stand firm for what you believe. All guys see you as young and inexperienced. All of them. You have to have morals set. You have to know what you want. You have to not put yourself into bad situations and play everything as safely as possible.
Be prepared for an older man to start showing up with gray hair or begin balding (mine is bald and has a touch of gray). Be prepared for him to go through some health problems as he ages because they say the 20s are the healthiest time for us all. Be prepared for him to be set in his ways--he is probably now happily doing whatever it is that he is doing and you're not going to magically change him overnight or in a period of a few days (suggestions are happily taken though). Be prepared for him to already know what you're going through and think of you as a little silly when you tell him you have absolutely no clue as to how to solve the problem at hand--simply because he knows you've overlooked the solution twice already.
Be prepared for him to either want children very much or to not want them at all, ever. By this point in life, the man has pretty much made up his mind if he wants any (or more) or not. He also may have been married by now so it may take him a much longer time before deciding to take the leap and propose--he has long learned that it isn't something to throw around lightly.
I hope things go well with you and you find out what you truly want in life. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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You just answered my cheating question and umm...
Well just to straighten some things out first. I'm 18, he's 20.. Just so it doesn't seem like I'm a dumb teenager. Although it may still seem that way because after reading your answer, which I am truly thankful for, I feel more than dumb even considering it.
But I'm just not sure what to do about it because I have talked to him about it on many different occasions but things just don't seem to change. He also has told me that he feels discouraged about not being able to make me orgasm and I've told him that it doesn't matter to me--that he's what matters to me. And see..that was all true at the time I told him.
Now, he's still discouraged and barely ever wants to even try to pleasure me because he says he doesn't want ot "fail" again. His words, not mine.
Truth is, He isn't really failing in my eyes...because when he actually wants to pleasure me, even if he doesn't get me off, I think it's amazing and I've told him that so many times. It just isn't enough for him and it's come to the point where all we focus on his him. Our sex life has come to me giving him blow jobs and usually nothing more.
I've never told anyone any of that before, not even my best friends... Because I know it hurts him..but I've told him over and over again that it doesn't matter to me I just want to be there with him and not feel like im just there to give him head. So all that closeness we once had is gone because of how discouraged he's gotten.
The whole cheating thing just came up today while I was talking to an old firend of mine..a male friend. I know he's always been interested in me--well, having sex with me. So I actually started thinking about it.
I do love my boyfriend...I love him but I'm not happy with what is going on in our relationship. And I do realize now that having sex with another guy will not help us. But I'm not quite sure what to do. (link)
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Age being 18/20 means everything in my last answer applies, very muchly so even. You may not be a "dumb teenager" but you are in a transitional phase of life. This means you're at a point in which nothing should be "set" in stone without much consideration. This also means that you have a lot of learning to do and still quite some growing into your fresh adulthood.
Honestly, the reason he probably feels so terrible is because you haven't expressed gratitude for what he has done. Men like to know that they have achieved a victory. Men don't like to be told things like, "You did the best you could! It's okay that I'm not pleased, really!" That means "FAILURE" in his eyes.
Men also are not very keen on figuring out women's clues. For some strange reason, women are hinters (and very bad at that). We don't like to just come out with our honest wants, needs, desires, and truths--but WE SHOULD! Men don't know what we're thinking. They're not mind-readers. They don't have a crystal ball that can tell what's going on with us. A good reason why he is never doing anything more than receiving a blow job is because you're not encouraging him to do what you'd like. Women say things like, "I'm horny," and expect the guy to take control of the situation. In reality, we should be saying, "I'm really horny and I want you to ___(DESIRE)___ with/to me right now." Everything should be clear and communicated immediately so the guy can decide what to do and how to go about his decision.
If you're considering cheating on him to get some sort of "pleasure" out of sex then think back of times when he HAS failed to please you in the bedroom. Were you supportive or did you opt out like the line I said above, "Honey, it's okay that you couldn't get me off, really! You did the best you could!" isn't being very supportive, believe it or not.
If you thought those times in which he has attempted to please you was "amazing" then you wouldn't be desiring another man for 20 minutes in the bedroom, would you? This being said, you probably haven't been as "helpful" as you THOUGHT you had been when it came to sex with your current partner.
It's also true that many women don't speak up during sexual interaction. If a guy needs to "move up" a little on your body then you need to tell him. If something happens to feel good then you need to say, "That feels good!" so he knows he is at the right spot, doing the right thing. If you need it harder, softer, slower, faster, up, down, left, right, in a certain position, etc. then you have to say it. If you like being on top then you say, "I like being on top because ___(REASON)___." The he knows what you like, too. Men, again, are simply not mind-readers.
If you don't expressed your true desires then nothing can be made of a relationship. True desires in every form. Even sexually. If you haven't said, "You know, I really enjoy giving you blow jobs but I'd REALLY like you to try doing XYZ to me tonight. I think it sounds really hot and I'd like to try that. Would you please do that with me tonight?" Simply put, if you don't clearly communicate to your partner what you desire--sexually--then how can you expect him to please you? How can you expect him to magically know that you're tired of giving blow jobs and not "getting" anything else.
You, seriously, need to do one of two things:
1. Break up with him.
2. Tell him EXACTLY what is going on and try to save what is left.
If you break up wit him then you need to be honest so that the relationship has proper closure. Be clear and as honest you can be about the situation. Say something like, "I have feelings of love toward you but there is something terribly lacking on my side of this relationship. I want to try new things with other people and I know it isn't fair to you to do that while committed in this relationship. I am sorry this may come as a shock but I've made up my mind and I do hope you find what you're looking for in life, just as I hope I find what I'm looking for."
If you decide to stay with him and try to bandage what has been "hurt" be mis-communication (or lack of, in the most likely case) then you need to sit down and have a serious discussion with him. Now. You need to sit him down and say something like, "These past months have been really good between us but I'm having some issues on my side of the relationship. I feel like things are lacking in the bedroom and it's effecting the way I'm treating you--and us, as a couple. I have considered breaking up with you to see other men for awhile but I've decided that isn't what I truly want to do. I want this to work out but I need you to work with me on repairing what I feel has been damaged. I know it seems embarrassing for you but we're both adults--I know we have issues in the bedroom just like you know we have issues in the bedroom. The problem is that, although I love giving you the frequent blow-job, I'd really like things spiced up for me. I really, really desire ___(EVERYTHING YOU DESIRE)___. Do you think we can fix this or is this out of the question?"
Communicate or leave the relationship. Take tonight (or today, depending on what time it is where you are) to decide which path you're going to go down. Please be very honest and clear in either choice. There is not harm in being honest. It's okay if he is upset or has hurt feelings. That is part of life. If you go through life sugar-coating yourself then you're not ever going to be happy and you're going to bring people down with you.
Be honest and clear, whatever you choose.
I wish you well in your relationship or in finding what you truly desire in a relationship with a man. If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)
P.S. Personally, I'd break up with him if I had SERIOUSLY considered cheating on him before. Going that far means that something is severely hurt in the relationship--maybe beyond repair. You never know though.
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How can one really tell when an astral is actually (No rude answers)?
(1) How can one tell if an astral projector is actually communicating with a non-astral when they are visiting the non-astral. People have told me to reach out to the astral, but how. I mean how do I know if it is really the astral speaking to me and it is not my imagination. PLEASE GIVE DETAILS. I AM THE NON-ASTRALOk the problem is that I cannot ask the men who are astralling to me how they are communicating with me and what they said, because I dont think they will admit to me they are astralling to me.
(2) AND can the astral have s*x with the non-astral anytime the astral wants to
(link)
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Please, consider what you're thinking. Out of everyone some man can "astral project" to and have sex with...they would choose YOU? This is meant in no harm but only a serious thought because we live in a world of the physical, meaning I'd bet money that most all men would rather choose a porn star or a celebrity woman to have sex with--astrally or not.
Next, do you honestly think your COUSIN has sexual feelings toward you? If so, do you think he would act on them purposefully? The only way you will KNOW if to come out and ask him, as it sounds like you are having sexual feelings towards him anyway. Don't be surprised if he is completely disgusted.
If you approach any of these men, including the ex-boss that you had years ago, they are going to be very weirded out--not because they're hiding "the truth" but because you sound completely insane. Honestly, you don't sound like you're in your right mind at all.
Chances are you are developing very strange imaginary scenarios that SEEM realistic. This being said, if you're not careful you can quickly end up in the mental ward for being engulfed in a world that doesn't exist. Many people end up in situations like this and wind up being hospitalized because they lose all grips with reality.
The feelings you feel when you "have sex" with these various men are probably your mind wandering. Your mind can do insane things actually. Some people can orgasm by just THINKING about certain things--people, fetishes, kinks, desires. Most people get horny at some point without having one particular thought in their head that they are aware of that turns them on. Almost everyone has a sex dream in their lifetime that "feels SO real" and, sometimes, so real that you wake up thinking you've gotten the sheets wet. Your mind can do a lot that you may not be aware of.
It sounds like you're falling into a dangerous thought pattern. It's doubtful that you're so drop-dead gorgeous that multiple men, including your cousin, will do everything in their power to bang you. Seriously. Think this through. What would make you so much more appealing than all of the other women in the planet? The time the might spend astralling to you--why are they not spending that time messing with "hot babes?"
Back to the cousin issue, by the way: In the other question you said that your cousin was "flirting" with you by saying he'd rather see a movie with sex in it. Just so you know, men are generally horny and like to see sex. He was probably just being honest with you--not trying to bed you. You're blood relative. It's ILLEGAL to have relations with him. I'm sure he said he wouldn't like to see the other movie because:
1. It sounds boring. Even the title "The Boy in the Striped Pajamas" sounds incredibly dull to me.
2. Porn sounds like a better plan for him because he likes to watch people have sex. It's more exciting to him. He's a typical man.
None of the men are going to "admit" that they are astralling to you because they, likely, are just not doing it. Please, stop assuming that you're the center of these men's universe. If they wanted to have sex with you (and remembered you, at that) I'm sure they'd make a move in real life. Most people are not astral at all and have no interest in doing those sorts of things.
You see, if they are oh-so powerful then they would have the confidence to approach you with sex. If these men know you at all they would be well-aware of your personality. I've read this question and already have an impression of you that would make me believe that it would be fairly easy to "bed" you if I were a powerful man and approached you for sex.
If I were you, I would see a good therapist about this. Please consider seeking psychiatric help for this. This is not normal at all. It is not normal to become engulfed in believing men are coming into your bedroom at night and having sex with you in a whole different dimension. Please, seek out some mental help and tell them all about this. If I'm wrong then may they can answer your questions for you appropriately--but I very much doubt I am wrong.
Please. Get help for this before you become completely obsessed with imaginary scenarios.
Based on the college psychology courses I've taken, I would say you definately need to get into some sort of counseling for yourself as soon as humanly possible. It sounds like you're having a terrible break from reality.
If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me, especially after you've already gotten medical care for your mental health.
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How many of you would cheat on your boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/fiancee/fiance if you knew they would never find out?
I adore my boyfriend, we've been dating for almost two year and I am head over heels in love. But, he doesn't completely...satisfy me if yall know what I mean. And he is aware of this at times. I have a chance do be satisfied by a guy I've know for a long time and does not really have any connections to my friends, or my bfs friends so there just about no chance of him finding out. I can't hurt my boyfriend, and I don't want to cheat on him but I need to be satisfied atleast once... I would just like some input on what yall would do. Thanks (link)
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I assume what you're speaking about is being sexually satisfied. Now, if it's something that your boyfriend cannot do (meaning it isn't some sort of fetish or kink of yours but, rather, you wanting to achieve an orgasm) then you need to know something very, very important before you go off and doodle around with another boy:
Many, many women have sex and NEVER in their entire lifetime actually enjoy it, orgasm, or have a "feel good" time. Only 25-30% of women orgasm regularly from vaginal penetration (penis in vagina sex) alone. This being said, there are fairly good chances you won't ever have sex that feels "amazing" or anything that you imagine it should be.
If it's something your boyfriend could do but you haven't expressed it to him then TELL HIM. If you want some freaky-wild sex where he pulls your hair and treats you dirty then tell him. If you want some sort of gentle, romantic aura about the sex then TELL HIM. If you want to be done from a different position then TELL HIM. A lot of times one partner doesn't express all of their sexual desires to the other, thinking they will eventually figure it out on their own. This is just NOT true. Nobody can read your mind about what you desire sexually. Before making any decisions about seeing another guy you should think this through thoroughly. If you cannot tell your boyfriend that this-that-and-the-other is what you want then your relationship is a failure anyway because you will NEVER be able to tell your boyfriend anything that could make you happy to satisfied--sexually or not.
If it's something silly as wanting him to be more assertive in the bedroom then tell him. If it's embarrassing then you might as well tell him anyway--he's already seen you nude and touched everything you have.
Next, condoms and the pill do not protect you against anything, really. Condoms are 88% effective on preventing pregnancy--0% effective on preventing STDs/STIs. Hormonal birth control (the pill) is actually only 92% effective on preventing pregnancy with typical usage--0% effective on preventing STDs/STIs. This means you will be risking yourself and your partner for STDs. This means that if you have an ut-oh and get pregnant then you'll have to face the horror of telling EVERYONE you know that, "I cheated on my boyfriend because he didn't give me good sex!"
It's actually pushed to have a FULL STD test done every 6 months if you are sexually active or have been. Most clinics will run a quick STD test but not the full one unless you specifically request certain STDs to be tested for. Most people will be tested once in their lifetime and not think twice about it. Most people with STDs had them for months, some years, before finding out--how did they find out? A partner contracted something and said, "Uh, hey..." Do you really want to risk this on someone you, obviously, don't CARE about? Someone you, obviously, don't LOVE? For 20 minutes, tops, of different sex?
If you love your boyfriend then bad sex wouldn't be a problem. I am sure you are well aware of your own body and can pleasure yourself just fine. This means that if you actually take the time to TEACH your guy he will be able to pleasure you--even if it doesn't mean penis-into-vagina. Some women only like to be fingered or massaged. If you haven't done everything humanly possible to make the sex work then you need to decide if your relationship can withstand bad sex or not. If you TRULY love him then it wouldn't matter if he was AWFUL in the sack, trust me.
If you have to leave your partner to find something satisfying then it tells me a lot about your relationship. Honestly, if you cannot get over such things in your relationship then it's a sham. Please consider breaking up with your boyfriend for his benefit. How would you like it if he kept telling you for months, "You just don't get me off," and then one day you find out he had gone out on you. When you approach him, he says, "You didn't satisfy me though! I needed to be satisfied!" Wouldn't that hurt?
You see, things like this ALWAYS get out at some point. The decision you need to make is if you want it out NOW or 3 years down the road when you have 2 babies and a little house of your own. Do you want him to know NOW that you're so unhappy you are considering stepping out on him or do you want him to find out from people you both don't even know years later when it may break up the family you two created together. You see, even when you think NOBODY on Earth could end up getting the information out to him--it will happen. Oh, trust me, it will happen. It will happen in the oddest of ways. It will happen when you least suspect it--when you've forgotten about it, when it seems stupid, when you can't even clearly remember the incident. It happens. It always does.
No, I would never, ever cheat on my boyfriend because I wasn't "satisfied" in the bedroom by him, even if I KNEW FOR A FACT that he would never find out for the rest of my life. I love my boyfriend. Love doesn't mean you have to have sex. Love doesn't mean that sex is going to be great. Love doesn't equal sex at all. I could have horrid sex for the rest of my life with my boyfriend and I would love him and remain faithful. I would willingly go my entire life, until death, without ever achieving an orgasm if my boyfriend simply didn't do it for me in the sack. I wouldn't put my boyfriend at risk for STDs. I wouldn't risk putting my boyfriend through the horror of paternity tests when I gave birth a few months down the road.
No.
You don't NEED to be satisifed "at least once" ever. If you're not happy in the relationship then just end up and don't play this stupid game. Just say, "Hey, I'm not satisfied in this relationship. It just isn't working on my end. I'm sorry." Honestly, you know as well as I do that is what the real issue is. It isn't just that you want an orgasm--it's that you simply aren't happy with what you have.
Please, be smart.
Chances are that what you're looking for doesn't exist at all. When teenage girls and young women talk about how AMAZING their sexual experiences with XYZBOB was--they are LYING to fit in. Who wants to actually admit to their female friends that their boyfriend is shit in the sack? Nobody wants to say such things so please don't believe that some magical mind-blowing, life-altering sex is actually available in the REAL WORLD.
If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)
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OK...so me and this boy were talking about 7 months but we have only been together for about 2. Anyways it was love at first sight and we're crazy about each other, yesterday he actually got down on one knee and asked me to marry him...i love him and my answer is yes but i think we're too young for that.I'm 17 and hes 19 any advice is helpful. (link)
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Simply put, I think you're way too young to be making these sorts of decisions. I also think it's way too soon into the relationship to decide if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone.
I know it may seem like you two have everything planned out. I also know that it may seem like you have a perfect relationship; however, you're both going through some tough, life-changing years right now. You two really shouldn't be worrying about marriage quite yet. If you love each other, then give yourselves time to grow up a little, and I mean this in the most pleasantest way possible.
If I were you, I would tell him the following: You love him very, very much and you would like to spend the rest of your life with him; however, you feel you're too young to make that sort of decision at this point.
Let him know that you're not necessarily telling him that you don't want to or aren't going to marry him. Let him know that you just need a few more years to grow and learn about the world.
You really sound like you have your head on your shoulders. You do want marriage, but you know you're simply too young for that. That is really a very good thing to know.
Worry about being 17 while he worries about being 19. Have fun going out as boyfriend/girlfriend and having double-dates and the like. Make lasting memories right now because there will be plenty of years ahead to work on a marriage.
To me, when you tell someone you will marry them then you have to be serious. You're at a time now that so many things may happen and you two may drift apart (not saying that it will happen)--you really never know. You should be more worried about keeping the relationship together and strong instead of when to marry each other because you two simply don't know what life may throw your ways.
Like I said, worry about being a teenager right now. Maybe you can even let him know that it might be acceptable for you to make this decision at age __ (I suggest, at the VERY earliest, 21). I think if you two really are in love then he'll understand what you're saying.
You can prove your love in so many ways. It's a shame that teens don't realize that now. You don't need to throw the word engagement around and you don't have to have sex. My suggestion for the time being is simply this:
Make memories of your youth.
When you're older you'll have something to say. Your grandchildren will all sit around, wanting you to tell them about the time you and grandpa went out and did this and that. They'll come to you advice on how to make their own relationships work and you'll be able to say, "It isn't about having sex. It isn't about saying you're going to marry them. It's about life, love, and making lasting memories together."
I feel sad that a lot of the teenagers now won't have a "how we met" story other than, "We met at a party and starting making out and had sex." I feel sad that teenagers will have to say, "I was engaged to 3 guys before he asked me and we got married." I feel sad that they won't have anything to say about what they did together other than, "Well, we we could see each other, we had sex. Sometimes with a condom, sometimes without. We had a few pregnancy scares." I feel sad that they will have to tell their own children things like, "No, your mother/father wasn't my first sexually. I lost my virginity when I was 13 to this one guy/girl. I had been with 13 people prior to your mother/father."
Go roller-blading.
See concerts.
Go to the park and watch old people in love.
Lay on the ground and look at the clouds.
Go on movie dates.
Share a milkshake.
Read books together.
Go have a few double-dates with your best friend.
Volunteer together.
Talk to strangers together and see if you can help brighten their day.
Help each other grow.
Don't worry about marriage.
Don't worry about sex.
The time will come when those will be important.
The time is not now.
Be 17.
Be 18.
Be 19.
Be 20.
Be 21.
Enjoy your youth while you can, and look back to laugh and smile at the good, wholesome memories.
I hope your partner takes your response well, whatever you decide. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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15/f
i want to start wearing tampons, but i heard its not good to wear it when you dont have your period? because mine usually last arond 5 days and it kind of comes and goes, and i want to wear one without worrying if it's gonna come that day or not beucase im not sure.
thank you!
any advice if helpful! (link)
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No, it is definately not safe at all. Tampons aren't safe anyway actually, but moreso when you're not on your period. You increase risk so of toxic shock syndrome dramatically if you aren't on your period.
DO NOT -EVER- INSERT A TAMPON IF YOU ARE NOT ON YOUR PERIOD AT THE TIME!!! This is very serious and very, very dangerous. You can DIE.
I definately recommend pads for your menstrual cycle. Pads can be worn during light days, heavy days, and even simple discharge days. Tampons can only be worn during your actual period or your risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome increases dramatically. You also do not need to worry about waking in the middle of the night to change your pad if you're not a heavy bleeder; however, with tampons they MUST be changed every 6 - 8 hours or bacteria will multiply so quickly it can cause some severe problems.
Symptoms of TSS include high fever, vomiting or diarrhea, severe muscle aches, a feeling of extreme weakness or dizziness, and a rash that looks like a sunburn. If you ever have these symptoms while wearing a tampon, remove it and tell an adult immediately. Have someone take you to the nearest emergency room as soon as possible.
When I tried tampons I ended up passing out over and over again within seconds of insertion. My body was obviously screaming at me that something was terribly wrong although nothing was painful at all. I often wonder if some other women have experienced this and thought it was normal because it definately is not okay to experience. I really believe it dramatically shocked my body and that's why I passed out.
My first gynecologist I had actually told me that tampons increased my risk of cancer. My mother had cancer before in her vagina area and was told to NEVER wear tampons again because if there is any cancerous cells in there it will irritate them and cause them to begin multiplying if they aren't already. My mother was also told to tell her female children this too since we are higher risk for that sort of cancer. I asked my first gynecologist about it and he definately recommended not using tampons because of the increase cancer risk.
The longer you leave a tampon in, the higher risk of TSS you are taking. Bacteria begin to grow in the warm, moist environment of your vagina. These bacteria can grow within the tampon, enter the body from inside the vagina, then invade the bloodstream, releasing toxins that can cause a very severe, life-threatening illness.
Tampons also pull a bit of your vaginal lining out when being removed, believe it or not. This is why many women who use tampons aren't as sensitive as they once were inside of their vaginas and why many tampon-users suffer from yeast infections and bacterial vaginosis. The tampon also can leave particles behind from it, causing bacteria and yeast to grow on it. Another case is that women are frequently needing to purchase personal lubricant for sexual activities because their bodies have stopped producing enough natural lubricant to engage in such activities without problems.
The ripping of your flesh and leaving particles of material behind cannot be avoided when using tampons and could very well be why you experience discomfort with removal. I would be big money on that being the reason it is painful to remove tampons from your body. This will not go away until you become somewhat desensitized down there--and what woman truly wants that?! Please consider switching products for your own health and safety.
Here are some good websites about why women should stay clear of tampon-usage. Theses sites are pretty darn interesting:
http://www.thekeeperstore.com/dangers-tampons/
http://www.thebody.com/content/art497.html
http://www.earthisland.org/journal/tampons.html
http://www.frontiernet.net/~ruthb/Tampons.html
As a very last note, you may want to check out menstrual cups. You can safely wear a menstrual cup any time during your cycle--period or no period. Here is a link to a question about some and my answer is pretty thorough when explaining them:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=533850
I hope I answered your question thoroughly and you take good care of your body. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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where is a website that i can watch 2 girls 1 cup on the internet . thanks (link)
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Why in the world would you want to actually watch it? Do you actually LIKE the sound of it? That's what it sounds like to me.
Watching 2 girls 1 cup is illegal in the United States actually (for it's extreme pornographic nature--yes, not all porn is acceptable in the U.S.). To my knowledge, ALL pornography is illegal for anyone under the age of 18 to view anyway in the United States. Are you seriously going to risk getting in that much trouble just to watch a clip of two very disgusting girls?
So, point blank, what you are wanting to do is illegal and immoral.
You, even if interested in that type of porn, shouldn't be watching such disgusting things. You are filling your mind with bad images that are tainting your very soul.
I do not understand the appeal of 2girls1cup anyway. It's sick and wrong and I do NOT understand how that could be amusing. When did the world get this bad? When did absolutely disgusting = immensely hilarious?
When were cartoons not cute anymore and girls "playing" in fecal matter was amusing?
When did Leave it to Beaver become boring and illegal pornography viewing became all the rage?
When did 13 year old boys start WANTING to watch pornography of two girls completely degrading themselves?
Please spare yourself this horror. There is really no point in watching the 2girls1cup pornography.
Please, grow up and find better things to do with your life.
This is just stupid.
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Okay I just got a guinea pig less then a month ago. And I was putting her in her cage, and i was so stupid because she jumped maybey half a foot down out of my hands ( i guess she was scared) and now she hardly puts her front left foot( or leg) down I am so scared, I am pretty sure its broke or fractured, and the closest vet in 2 hrs. away.
Will it heal in time or what?
How can i help her be happy, am i paranoid or somthing. I just feel so horrible it's all my fault!
IF I was to take her to the vet what would they do? Will it cost a couple hundred dollars or what? (link)
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Take her to the vet. Now.
Vet's know that accidents happen. They know that guinea pigs jump and do silly things because they have no depth perception. They fully understand this. If you take her there and they asked, "What happened?" they just want to know what happened--not who the blame. They will treat her and not ask anything else of your behavior--it was simply an accident.
If she has a broken limp or issue on her leg/foot then it can set up infection--deadly, at that--within days of it being untreated.
It may cost very, very little. You can ask the vet for an estimate. If it's too expensive you can say, "Nevermind," and they can put her down for you, go an alternative route that is cheaper, or help you find her a home that can afford the surgery. Most vets will also let you make payments over a period of time, usually very low monthly payments. You simply have to ask.
Please, don't just let this go. These sorts of pets are not hearty animals. The stress of the injury alone can kill her. I'm not kidding. This isn't a game you're playing--she is really alive and needs you to help her. Please do the right thing and stop messing around and second guessing getting her medical assistance.
Please.
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should you use a condom when giving a handjob? (link)
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Yes.
HPV, herpes, and other various STDs can get under your nails and live for some time since it's fairly warm and slightly moist there--the perfect environment. Even if you wash your hands the virus could be deeply embedded so far back that you cannot properly reach the full extent of it. The virus, of course, will grow a little under the nails so that it will reach outward enough to be spread into/onto various parts of your body. So, then when you put your fingers near your genitals you have put yourself at risk for the STDs and STIs that the male was carrying from his penis.
(*Note that virgins can have STDs & STIs too.)
Just be smart about it and use a condom for safety's sake. It might seem silly to some but only to those who don't use their heads when it comes to this sort of risky behavior. A condom doesn't cost a lot, the handjob will feel just as good, and the risk of contracting an illness is lessened.
If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)
P.S. Washing your hands under "HOT" water after doing this is not a safety precaution. As I said, the viruses can bury themselves further in your nail-bed than you can humanly reach.
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15/f
i am a female and i'm sexually active, have only ever had protected sex, wouldn't do it any other way =]. anyways on the inside of my labia i have this bump. it's doesn't hurt or smell but i'm just wondering what it could be? i haven't had any weird discharge either. i also know for a fact i have no stds, me and the only person i have had sex with were virgins.
i'm thinking it might be a cyst or something..can you get razor burn in there? i might have accidently shaved but i don't know. the bump is on the small side btw. thanks to anyone who can help =] (link)
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1. Virgins can have STDs. Just check out some of the herpes forums and you'll see many, many parents have passed along herpes, hpv, AIDs, and other various nasties to their INFANTS just by changing the diaper. A lot of these parents are so embarrassed they never tell their children that the symptoms they experience are the result of an STD they contracted as an infant.
2. "Protected" sex does not protect against STDs or STIs AT ALL. It's called "protected" because it lessens risks of pregnancies--not STD transmission. Honestly.
3. You cannot get razor burn inside your vagina unless you actually put the razor inside of your vagina. It's doubtful you put the razor inside of your vagina or you'd be a very unhappy woman.
4. The only way you KNOW if you have an STD or not is to get checked regularly (every 6 months) in a health clinic. For a woman this means a blood sample, urine sample, and a pelvic and pap smear. They can "hide" in the body so that's why it's suggested to do one every 6 months, even if you do not change partners or continue sexual relations.
It could be herpes or HPV, most likely. Herpes would likely be a little uncomfortable, go away and reappear sometimes, or break open. HPV would be the most likely suspect here because it can leave a wart or two in this general area.
HPV can be transmitted in various ways and there is over 100 strains of HPV. If you had the Gardasil vaccine you're only "safe" for 4 of those strains--hardly worth it, huh? Anyway, you can even have HPV living under your fingernails and when your fingers come in contact with your vagina then they "infect" that area. It often does not "hurt", "itchy", "smell", "burn", or include any sort of different discharge. For a last note on HPV, men have no test to know if they have contracted it so your partner very well could have it and show no signs of it--especially that men hardly EVER show signs of contracting HPV.
Cyst, it could be, but it would most likely be uncomfortable and/or growing steadily. If it's the size of a pea or bean or smaller then it's likely not to be a cyst since they don't stay small very long at all.
I suggest seeing a gynecologist about the bump so they can conclude if it's something to be concerned about. If it's a HPV wart then you'll need to have it removed and treated soon. HPV can become cancerous if left untreated for a long period of time. If you have contracted the HPV strain that causes warts then the longer this is left untreated the more likely it is for more warts to develop (this doesn't happen all of the time but it is a possibility).
Please, make an appointment with your gyno and get checked out to make sure everything is going along fine. Let them know that you're sexually active and have developed a small bump inside of your vagina that you are curious about. These are very common nowadays so no need to be embarrassed. They are doctors and they want to find out what is causing your issue, treat it, and ensure your health.
I wish you well with your doctor's appointment. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
P.S. You would have to put a bit of pressure on that part of the vagina and shave over it a few times to develop a rash from the razor. Since the vagina is moist it's hard to get razor burn inside the vagina--especially just ONE single evident bump. Please do not chalk this up to a shaving mishap.
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what are some things i should know before you have sex for your first time? I'm like DEATHLY afaid of getting pregnant, and i know use protection, but still i dont wanna get pregnant. And im not on the pill and i doubt my parents will buy it for me. idk even know if im ready for sex, like ive always wanted to do it, but idk if am, if i dont know if i am ready for it, maybe i shouldnt do it?
15/f (link)
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Things you should know before you have sex:
1. Virgins can have STDs. People can be very well be born with STDs or contract an STD (you can contract herpes and HPV just by getting it under your nails and then masturbating--you don't even have to be sexually active) and never know it during their entire life. 80% of the U.S. has herpes but do you hear many people admitting to that? No. For note, you can never be 100% sure that someone is "clean" even after being STD/STI tested because HPV (and, NO, Gardasil only helps to prevent 4 out of over 100 strains so you are NOT safe) cannot be detected in men--ever--and it may take a long time before it is detected in a woman.
2. Condoms, typically, are only 88% effective on preventing pregnancy. Hormonal birth control (the pill) is actually only 92% effective on preventing pregnancy with typical usage. The "pull-out" method is only about 75% highest effective on preventing pregnancy. The number actually fluctuates between 29% and 75%. NONE protect against STDs/STIs at all. You will ALWAYS be at risk for pregnancy no matter what sort of "protection" you choose to use.
3. Many women never orgasm or actually enjoy sexual activity. Only 25-30% of women orgasm regularly from vaginal penetration (penis in vagina sex) alone. This being said, there are fairly good chances you won't ever have sex that feels "amazing" or anything that you imagine it should be. Your friends? They, most likely, lie about how "awesome" and "mind-blowing" their sex is.
4. You can get pregnant before your period. You can get pregnant at the beginning of your period. You can get pregnant during your period. You can get pregnant the day after your period. You can get pregnant after your period. You can even get pregnancy if the guy DOESN'T cum in you too! There is NO "safe" time, contrary to popular belief. All sex is risky.
5. By having sex the first time you will be pressured to continue. You will even pressure yourself because you will have guilt that if you turn your partner down then he will think lower of you or be upset since you "gave in" before. This happens to a lot of men and women. This also goes along with number...
6. If you have sex with a partner that does not share the attachment you may have to them (current attachment, past attachment, or future attachment) then you may end up circling the friends-with-benefits bullshit for the rest of your life. That's how 50 year old "Crazy Cat Ladies" come about. They don't learn how to effectively communicate with partners. They think sex means love and that love means having sex. They never LEARN, GROW, or DEVELOP. They will continue being used and abused. Left for other women. Being led on time after time in hopes that someone will love them like they wish they were loved. THAT is how that happens. This also sort-of goes along with number...
7. Sex can leave a person with very deep emotional scars that are difficult to overcome. Some people are later dumped by their "first" and it leads to depression, self-hatred, and loneliness. This can also lead to #6 above. There also can be something bad happen during the activity that makes the person feel insecure over themselves for a long, long while (possibly forever). You have to realize, sex is a VERY vulnerable time for humans and it can damage a lot of a person's inner self without them even realizing it.
8. Having sex can totally break a relationship if you make too much of it, which is usually done in most cases. Someone may be into some sort of kink that the other isn't comfortable with. Someone may want more that someone cannot give. Someone may become obsessed and seek it more and more when the other person is bored with the same old thing. Someone could be so dissatisfied that they leave the relationship to look for "better" sex.
9. Lastly, prepare yourself for the worst in case you're faced with it. Here are some links. Even if it seems stupid to read and look through these now, you may end up in a situation where you'll be thankful you did...
Read through my answer here:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=548961
Virginity...is it worthwhile?:
http://www.tagnet.org/adventist.fm/youth/virgin.htm
Is ANY sex safe sex?:
http://www.prolife.com/LICKONA.htm
Here is a link about pregnancy costs to know about:
http://www.surebaby.com/costs.php
Here is a link that has some really freaky STD facts:
http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm
Here is a link to photos of STDs you should research so you're aware of what they look like on the body:
http://www.healthac.org/images.html
My answer, here:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=543907
If you need anything above elaborated on, please jot me an inbox question. I have more to say about each and every one of these but I figured you wanted a quick overview. I only speak the truth to you because I once was in your position. I also headed down the wrong path in this manner.
I hope you make the right decision for you.
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