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possibly bi/metro/whatever you want to call it
16/m
hi guys.
so.... i'm very attracted to women. i date a lot of girls and with what i've heard i'm a pretty likable guy (i.e. girls like me). but lately i've found myself to be attracted to guys too... and the thought of getting sexual with a man seems to arouse me just as much as getting sexual with a woman...
so, am i bi/metro/whatever.... or do you think it's just a phase? to be honest, i feel like i'd be ok with being bi. i'm no homophobe; in fact i have quite a few gay friends. but i don't know if i for sure am bi though.... but if i am i don't know how i would tell anyone. i'd feel really scared to tell anyone i think (i go to an all-male catholic school)... and god knows what my girlfriend would think...
thanks guys. i really appreciate all you do on this site.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You are more then likely Bisexual and its not acrime althugh you may get picked on, but thats normal I'm gay and I get picked on, and i'm ok. Just tell everyone in a truth or Dare Game Or something or the other.
Good Luck Sweetheart
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eh, you might just be curious. it's really common for people to question their sexuality sometime during their life, especially when their teenagers. and what this one person said(i was looking at what other people had said)that if your comfortable with the thought of being bi and liking guys and having sex or whatever with them then yeah your bi. but i think you should kinda think hard if you would really be fine with dating a guy, because this could kinda be a phase, but it could also be true. just believe what you think is right.
and as for telling people, if you feel like telling your family and a few close friends just tell them. i know this probably isn't an expected response and seems untrue but your family will still love you, things might be awequard for a while but it will end eventually. i know this because I'm Bi and one of my old best friends was gay and his parents were like homo phobics, and even though his dad made fun of him sorta at times they still basically excepted it. lol and as for this male catholic school...i really wouldn't be extremely open about it, thats probably not a real smart choice.
just do you what you feel is right, if your think your bi and your fine with it...then your bi. its not a crime.
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A lot of young adults and teenagers are in this same situation today. I understand that many people enjoy having same-sex relations; however, I honestly believe that many people are just very confused by what the media has fed them.
The media (movies, books, television, music) keeps feeding us this crap about NEEDING to be different. With that "need" has come the "need" to change our sexuality. It's fed to us every single day, take for example:
Will & Grace
"I kissed a girl" by Katy Perry
Jeffrey Starr
Ellen Degeneres
Seriously, Jeffrey Starr is a big hit and he's flamboyantly gay. Will and Grace was a huge show and the main characters are "wonderfully" gay. Ellen Degeneres has her own TV show and is a big star now because she's out and gay (seriously, what does she EVER do well?). Nothing is special about Katy Perry's song but it's been played on the radio so many times that people have it memorized. People are being told that homosexuality is glamorous, unique, and desirable--that's why there are more and more gay people every day.
The media can make you believe anything if you listen long enough. The media has told us to become more sexually promiscuous and we have. The media has told us that 13 year olds are equal to adults and we treat them like that now (and 13 year olds EXPECT to be treated as adults). The media tells us to buy this, that, and the other--and we DO! If we're open and listening, we're being sucked into it.
So many people have listened to the media about this that it's almost impossible to escape. Being homosexual now means entitlement, it seems. People WANT to be homosexual because now it means parades, attention, and even new rights. People who are homosexual believe they are special and unique now simply because they're homosexual. They can throw the, "They didn't hire me because they know I'm homosexual!" ticket even. It PAYS to be the "freak" now, you see, but we shouldn't want to be that sort of person at all.
There is NOTHING wrong with looking another male and thinking he is attractive. As a matter of fact, that is SUPPOSE to happen. You are suppose to be able to look at other human beings and say, "Wow, I wish I looked like that!" which is probably the feelings you REALLY have.
The reason question about this is:
Do you actually want to have gay sex with a male? Would you allow a man to inset genitals into your rectum? Would you inset your genitals into another man's rectum? THAT is what being bisexual means--not looking at someone and going, "Gee, he's really handsome. I wish I had abs like that!" but actually desiring sexual relations with a man/men.
It's okay to look at men and find them attractive. I have looked at women and thought, "Wow, she's really pretty!" just the same as I've looked at women and said, "Wow! I can't believe how horrible she looks!" Seeing someone of your same gender as attractive is equal to being able to see your same gender as ugly. It happens. It's why we have a drive to be physically appealing.
Why do you think they have muscular men, all greased up, on those shows advertising workout equipment for MEN? Because men think that is what looks good and want to be like those model men. Why do you think they have gorgeous girls wearing bikinis in an all-women bikini shop? Because women think that is attractive and what to look like those ladies. Not because they want bed those people.
Simply put, you're falling into the crowd. You're buying into what the media is feeding you. You're being manipulated into believing that your feelings must mean something sexual.
Life is not all sexual. Finding someone cute doesn't mean you want to sex them.
Please, before you "decide" anything, give it a lot more thought. If you "decide" to be bisexual then hold on until you're 100% sure before telling ANYONE--including your girlfriend.
If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)
P.S. I don't think you're bisexual, metrosexual, or homosexual. I think you're a teenage guy who has been fed a lot of bullshit for awhile.
...and, no, I'm not a homophobe. I'm just a person who recently woke up to the world around her. It's scary and I do pray that one day you'll be able to see what I see.
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I think you already answered you're own question :] If you're okay with being bi and it doesn't bother you, then you have a ways to go to think about who you're attracted to, wether it be the same sex, opposite, or both. You're only 16 yuh know, so it might be a phase, or it might not, but whatever makes you happy, you should be true to. And remember, you don't have to tell anybody anything if you don't want to. So if you rather keep this quiet for a while, then that's perfectly okay :] hope i helped and good luck xxo
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Only you know your true feelings, Nobody can tell you what you are. At 16 I would say you might just be exsploring your sexuality or you might just be into both male and female. There is nothing wrong that.
BahaiMa22
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