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doing it the first time?
what are some things i should know before you have sex for your first time? I'm like DEATHLY afaid of getting pregnant, and i know use protection, but still i dont wanna get pregnant. And im not on the pill and i doubt my parents will buy it for me. idk even know if im ready for sex, like ive always wanted to do it, but idk if am, if i dont know if i am ready for it, maybe i shouldnt do it?
15/f
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Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
DO NOT DO IT! If you EVER have doubt at all, then you are NOT NOT NOT ready. do not do it, you will regret it.
wait until you have absolutely no doubts are are positive it is what you want.
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Things you should know before you have sex:
1. Virgins can have STDs. People can be very well be born with STDs or contract an STD (you can contract herpes and HPV just by getting it under your nails and then masturbating--you don't even have to be sexually active) and never know it during their entire life. 80% of the U.S. has herpes but do you hear many people admitting to that? No. For note, you can never be 100% sure that someone is "clean" even after being STD/STI tested because HPV (and, NO, Gardasil only helps to prevent 4 out of over 100 strains so you are NOT safe) cannot be detected in men--ever--and it may take a long time before it is detected in a woman.
2. Condoms, typically, are only 88% effective on preventing pregnancy. Hormonal birth control (the pill) is actually only 92% effective on preventing pregnancy with typical usage. The "pull-out" method is only about 75% highest effective on preventing pregnancy. The number actually fluctuates between 29% and 75%. NONE protect against STDs/STIs at all. You will ALWAYS be at risk for pregnancy no matter what sort of "protection" you choose to use.
3. Many women never orgasm or actually enjoy sexual activity. Only 25-30% of women orgasm regularly from vaginal penetration (penis in vagina sex) alone. This being said, there are fairly good chances you won't ever have sex that feels "amazing" or anything that you imagine it should be. Your friends? They, most likely, lie about how "awesome" and "mind-blowing" their sex is.
4. You can get pregnant before your period. You can get pregnant at the beginning of your period. You can get pregnant during your period. You can get pregnant the day after your period. You can get pregnant after your period. You can even get pregnancy if the guy DOESN'T cum in you too! There is NO "safe" time, contrary to popular belief. All sex is risky.
5. By having sex the first time you will be pressured to continue. You will even pressure yourself because you will have guilt that if you turn your partner down then he will think lower of you or be upset since you "gave in" before. This happens to a lot of men and women. This also goes along with number...
6. If you have sex with a partner that does not share the attachment you may have to them (current attachment, past attachment, or future attachment) then you may end up circling the friends-with-benefits bullshit for the rest of your life. That's how 50 year old "Crazy Cat Ladies" come about. They don't learn how to effectively communicate with partners. They think sex means love and that love means having sex. They never LEARN, GROW, or DEVELOP. They will continue being used and abused. Left for other women. Being led on time after time in hopes that someone will love them like they wish they were loved. THAT is how that happens. This also sort-of goes along with number...
7. Sex can leave a person with very deep emotional scars that are difficult to overcome. Some people are later dumped by their "first" and it leads to depression, self-hatred, and loneliness. This can also lead to #6 above. There also can be something bad happen during the activity that makes the person feel insecure over themselves for a long, long while (possibly forever). You have to realize, sex is a VERY vulnerable time for humans and it can damage a lot of a person's inner self without them even realizing it.
8. Having sex can totally break a relationship if you make too much of it, which is usually done in most cases. Someone may be into some sort of kink that the other isn't comfortable with. Someone may want more that someone cannot give. Someone may become obsessed and seek it more and more when the other person is bored with the same old thing. Someone could be so dissatisfied that they leave the relationship to look for "better" sex.
9. Lastly, prepare yourself for the worst in case you're faced with it. Here are some links. Even if it seems stupid to read and look through these now, you may end up in a situation where you'll be thankful you did...
Read through my answer here:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Virginity...is it worthwhile?:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Is ANY sex safe sex?:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Here is a link about pregnancy costs to know about:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Here is a link that has some really freaky STD facts:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Here is a link to photos of STDs you should research so you're aware of what they look like on the body:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
My answer, here:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
If you need anything above elaborated on, please jot me an inbox question. I have more to say about each and every one of these but I figured you wanted a quick overview. I only speak the truth to you because I once was in your position. I also headed down the wrong path in this manner.
I hope you make the right decision for you.
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No offense but if your having any doubts about it, it's probably not a good idea. Your definitely not ready. It's not that big of a deal. I'm 18 years old and I'm still a virgin, however if pregnancy is the only issue you could go to the nearest Planned Parenthood by you and they'll give you birth control for a small amount of money. Make sure and use a condom even if the guy says it feels better without one. That's a load of crap, and if he doesn't respect you enough to at least wear a condom, then he's odiously not good enough for you. Hope I helped.
xoxo,
dottie4
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