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To cheat or not to cheat?
How many of you would cheat on your boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/fiancee/fiance if you knew they would never find out?
I adore my boyfriend, we've been dating for almost two year and I am head over heels in love. But, he doesn't completely...satisfy me if yall know what I mean. And he is aware of this at times. I have a chance do be satisfied by a guy I've know for a long time and does not really have any connections to my friends, or my bfs friends so there just about no chance of him finding out. I can't hurt my boyfriend, and I don't want to cheat on him but I need to be satisfied atleast once... I would just like some input on what yall would do. Thanks
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Becoming a cheating slut won't make you feel "satisfied." Trust me. I made the mistake you are talking about. There are sex therapists out there. Find one and let them work with you to help you work things out. Oh, and don't EVER tell your guy that "it doesn't matter" or "it is YOU that matters, not the orgasm." All men know this is a lie and you will only crush his soul. You could ruin his whole life by trying to "make him feel better."
The truth is the orgasm is WAY more important than he is... or you would be talking about turning into a cheating whore just to get a tingle between your legs, now would you? ;)
Tell the truth. And then get therapy. Odds are the problem is with both of you, so adding another man will only make you feel bad when you don't cum with the new guy either, or the one after that, or the next one.
Think about it.
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Challenge him. make him work 2 satisfy u lol its da easy way to c if he can rele do it. im talking about your boyfriend of course
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Don't do it. i honestly think that is the stupidest thing you could do. get a vibrator. and use it while your in the moment or something.
if you love him you wouldn't do that to him even if he wouldn't know. that's mean.
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My best friend went through something very very similar to this. He wanted to cheat on his girlfriend of two and a half years, with me. He loved her, they were together whenever they got the chance, they would do anything for each other BUT he did get pretty bored with her. I was the other girl, i didn't really know his girlfriend very well and i also didn't really talk to alot of his friends. I told him it was wrong, and i couldn't do anything with him while he was going out with her, and he said but there is no way she would find out. He honestly didn't know what he wanted, i could tell that he loved that girl but he also wanted me. I didn't let him cheat on his girlfriend with me because i knew it would be wrong, and i didn't want him to regret it. I knew deep down that he was not a cheater, i knew he was better than that and so was i. They are still going out, and i told him that if he wanted to do anything sexual with me that he would have to be completely done with her and he agreed with what i was saying. I don't think that you should cheat on your boyfriend but i completely understand where your coming from. I don't want you to regret something that you did, and it may take an emotional turn on you if you did cheat on your boy. If you want to be satisfied then maybe you should think about breaking up with your boyfriend, but i don't think you really want that :) I know this is hard, but cheating is a painful thing. Whether your boyfriend would find out or not, it's not acceptable. I hoped i helped you out somewhat, just think about everything before you make a decision. Be smart, be safe, be strong. I know you will make the right decision ♥ LU
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I would not cheat, especially for a reason that seems, well, kind of superfluous. I don't know all of the details, but surely there is some solution to your boudoir problems? Some new position or game or toy? I suggest working on the sexual relationship you have instead of branching out. Cheating is demeaning to everyone involved, and I have never come across a situation where it was a good idea. Think about it--say you get "satisfied" by this other guy. Won't that make you that much more disappointed in your man? You'll have to cheat as long as you're with the guy to be happy in the bedroom--but still not happy with the man you actually love--and that is just not a fair or sound long term solution. Good luck and much love.
~TD
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I assume what you're speaking about is being sexually satisfied. Now, if it's something that your boyfriend cannot do (meaning it isn't some sort of fetish or kink of yours but, rather, you wanting to achieve an orgasm) then you need to know something very, very important before you go off and doodle around with another boy:
Many, many women have sex and NEVER in their entire lifetime actually enjoy it, orgasm, or have a "feel good" time. Only 25-30% of women orgasm regularly from vaginal penetration (penis in vagina sex) alone. This being said, there are fairly good chances you won't ever have sex that feels "amazing" or anything that you imagine it should be.
If it's something your boyfriend could do but you haven't expressed it to him then TELL HIM. If you want some freaky-wild sex where he pulls your hair and treats you dirty then tell him. If you want some sort of gentle, romantic aura about the sex then TELL HIM. If you want to be done from a different position then TELL HIM. A lot of times one partner doesn't express all of their sexual desires to the other, thinking they will eventually figure it out on their own. This is just NOT true. Nobody can read your mind about what you desire sexually. Before making any decisions about seeing another guy you should think this through thoroughly. If you cannot tell your boyfriend that this-that-and-the-other is what you want then your relationship is a failure anyway because you will NEVER be able to tell your boyfriend anything that could make you happy to satisfied--sexually or not.
If it's something silly as wanting him to be more assertive in the bedroom then tell him. If it's embarrassing then you might as well tell him anyway--he's already seen you nude and touched everything you have.
Next, condoms and the pill do not protect you against anything, really. Condoms are 88% effective on preventing pregnancy--0% effective on preventing STDs/STIs. Hormonal birth control (the pill) is actually only 92% effective on preventing pregnancy with typical usage--0% effective on preventing STDs/STIs. This means you will be risking yourself and your partner for STDs. This means that if you have an ut-oh and get pregnant then you'll have to face the horror of telling EVERYONE you know that, "I cheated on my boyfriend because he didn't give me good sex!"
It's actually pushed to have a FULL STD test done every 6 months if you are sexually active or have been. Most clinics will run a quick STD test but not the full one unless you specifically request certain STDs to be tested for. Most people will be tested once in their lifetime and not think twice about it. Most people with STDs had them for months, some years, before finding out--how did they find out? A partner contracted something and said, "Uh, hey..." Do you really want to risk this on someone you, obviously, don't CARE about? Someone you, obviously, don't LOVE? For 20 minutes, tops, of different sex?
If you love your boyfriend then bad sex wouldn't be a problem. I am sure you are well aware of your own body and can pleasure yourself just fine. This means that if you actually take the time to TEACH your guy he will be able to pleasure you--even if it doesn't mean penis-into-vagina. Some women only like to be fingered or massaged. If you haven't done everything humanly possible to make the sex work then you need to decide if your relationship can withstand bad sex or not. If you TRULY love him then it wouldn't matter if he was AWFUL in the sack, trust me.
If you have to leave your partner to find something satisfying then it tells me a lot about your relationship. Honestly, if you cannot get over such things in your relationship then it's a sham. Please consider breaking up with your boyfriend for his benefit. How would you like it if he kept telling you for months, "You just don't get me off," and then one day you find out he had gone out on you. When you approach him, he says, "You didn't satisfy me though! I needed to be satisfied!" Wouldn't that hurt?
You see, things like this ALWAYS get out at some point. The decision you need to make is if you want it out NOW or 3 years down the road when you have 2 babies and a little house of your own. Do you want him to know NOW that you're so unhappy you are considering stepping out on him or do you want him to find out from people you both don't even know years later when it may break up the family you two created together. You see, even when you think NOBODY on Earth could end up getting the information out to him--it will happen. Oh, trust me, it will happen. It will happen in the oddest of ways. It will happen when you least suspect it--when you've forgotten about it, when it seems stupid, when you can't even clearly remember the incident. It happens. It always does.
No, I would never, ever cheat on my boyfriend because I wasn't "satisfied" in the bedroom by him, even if I KNEW FOR A FACT that he would never find out for the rest of my life. I love my boyfriend. Love doesn't mean you have to have sex. Love doesn't mean that sex is going to be great. Love doesn't equal sex at all. I could have horrid sex for the rest of my life with my boyfriend and I would love him and remain faithful. I would willingly go my entire life, until death, without ever achieving an orgasm if my boyfriend simply didn't do it for me in the sack. I wouldn't put my boyfriend at risk for STDs. I wouldn't risk putting my boyfriend through the horror of paternity tests when I gave birth a few months down the road.
No.
You don't NEED to be satisifed "at least once" ever. If you're not happy in the relationship then just end up and don't play this stupid game. Just say, "Hey, I'm not satisfied in this relationship. It just isn't working on my end. I'm sorry." Honestly, you know as well as I do that is what the real issue is. It isn't just that you want an orgasm--it's that you simply aren't happy with what you have.
Please, be smart.
Chances are that what you're looking for doesn't exist at all. When teenage girls and young women talk about how AMAZING their sexual experiences with XYZBOB was--they are LYING to fit in. Who wants to actually admit to their female friends that their boyfriend is shit in the sack? Nobody wants to say such things so please don't believe that some magical mind-blowing, life-altering sex is actually available in the REAL WORLD.
If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)
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