UPDATED******
You have brown eyes, which is really cool when it comes to make-up, because brown eyes can wear any color! The hardest part for most asian eyes is creating the crease, but you can have a visual effect by using a slightly darker shadow right under the eyebrow bone in the middle of your lid. A medium shadow on the lower lid, underneath the crease and a very light shadow above it should show off your eyes in the best way. You don't need to match make-up colors to clothing, which could look overwhelming and you don't want people to notice your make-up before they notice you. If you wear more eye make-up, then go really light with blush and lip gloss instead of heavy lipstick. The trio eye shadow sets that already have a dark, medium and light shadow of the same color will make the process easy and quick. Experiment with browns, mauves, and greys. The ones you have are good, use the dark purple for the crease, light purple for the lid and white for just under brow, above the crease. Pink can be substituted for either the med or dark purple depending on how dark or light it is. Have fun!



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Depending on your face shape, eye shape and placement on your face, everything changes. Tell me what color your eyes, hair and skin are and whether or not your eyes are big or small, far apart, or close together etc.. and I will give you the correct advice for you.

You might be too cute or too smart! Some guys are intimidated by girls with high self-esteem. No loss, because you don't want those guys. Set your sights high and be friendly. Don't give in to shyness when you choose your next potential boyfriend. Girls that sit around and wait, seldom end up with a date!

Your title "a******" said it all! He is a flake at best and a cheater at worst. You can do better and there should be no doubt in the next guy's mind that you are the only one for him. Never ever settle for someone else's sloppy seconds!

Rejection feels terrible! It is important that you remember that he is only one guy, not every guy. I promise that many more guys will come and go in your life, and you will be a different version of yourself, a more mature and experienced young woman, before you settle for just one! Enjoy your new freedom! You were a whole person before you got together with him, but somehow lost that sense of self. The two of you probably were too intense and attached. Sometimes that kind of meshing will burn out faster than a more casual relationship. Give it time. He may find that he misses you if you don't bug him and go on with your life. If he does not come back to you, then keep active anyway and make new friends. The pain you feel is real, but will lessen a little everyday, until one day (sooner than you think!) you won't even think of him, and when you finally do, you will laugh.

Two words: caller i.d.! Okay, mom is attached and overstepping your adult boundaries for certain, but before we continue, I want to ask you to think about what areas of your life you do still need her to be in and how you would feel if you lost her. This is probably what she feels and she needs to know that she is still loved by you. That said, you need to also make certain that you are truly an independent woman and not coming to either parent with marital issues, money problems etc...because, the more you converse about your private life, the more she will think you actually need and want her involved. I don't buy the sensitive thing. We are all human, and some people just use their "hurt feelings" to manipulate others. You have feelings too, and she is trampling them. Stand up for yourself and tell her that you love her, but need to shorten the frequency of her phonecalls, because you want to experience being on your own. You could add that unless it is an emergency, you would prefer that she not call your husband. Are you wondering if she will accept this, or if you need to come up with a full-proof excuse, stop! It is not up to you to get her to feel differently or accept anything. She is an adult, and that is her perogative and responsibility. You need to not cross the boundaries yourself by taking on more than is your responsibility. Be respectful, but act as an adult and show that you can set a limit and stick to it, no matter what she pulls..."hurt feelings" and all.

If this was the first time you did it and were
remorseful about it and convinced that you were not to repeat the cheating, then I would tell you just to forget about it. However, you are choosing to be unfaithful for a reason. We can't have our cake and eat it, too. Even if your beau never finds out, the fact that you have cheated twice tells me your relationship is doomed. Obviously, you are not ready for a commitment to one guy and that is fine. Just don't lie about it. Tell him you want an open relationship or none at all. Then, you can avoid the confusion and guilt and just date/make-out with whomever you fancy. I know you want to hang onto him, but your cheating is proof that you do not love him in the mature selfless way that tends to go along with a serious monogamous relationship. That is perfectly okay, but cheating is not and it will come to no good for anyone.

What is your definition of a "hoe?" You readily call him a hoe, but are reluctant to own the title yourself. That seems really hypocritical, since both of you are engaging in random, uncommitted sex acts. Everyone he "f****" is basically passing all their germs from their entire sexual history back to you through him. Even if you are all using condoms everytime (yeah, right) you are putting yourself at high risk for serious, painful and deadly viruses. This dangerous behavior begs the following question: What's your definition of "stupid?" Respect your body and yourself. Being "in love" is a poor excuse to put yourself at repeated risk and allow yourself to be emotionally and physically used by anyone. You deserve better!

You can take it to the principal, but most likely the support will be for the teachers. There is a difference between hanging out in a semi-private area where you can have a mini-makeout session (I'm sure it has been done for years in stairwells everywhere) and just holding hands on the way to class or a quick hug (as long as it is not full body hugging) in open view.

School administration backed by parental support is generally going to limit relationship physical contact because of the obvious reasons: It is distracting to those involved and others. There are safety issues involved and some schools have had problems with sexual violence. Schools do not want to become liable and get into trouble when a parent finds out their kid was making out at school. Tax- payers enable you to have the right to an education, not a right to a social life.

I know this sounds like a lot of drama over a hug, and I agree. Some teachers can act like jerks, but many are just experienced with this scenario and know how quickly a small thing can lead to a big thing, particularly if it goes unmentioned. Boundaries can be crossed in baby steps and they want to avoid that BEFORE it happens, that is why they feel the need to act quickly and harshly in the beginning. It may not be fair, but people will judge us by appearances to some degree, because that is all they have to go on. We believe what we perceive, and every view is limited, so every personal truth is limited.

The fourth period teacher who "got on to you" was reacting in response to the entirety of the situation and not just the hand-holding. If the policy book states that you can hold hands, then make sure you do so outside of class, and that you don't give anyone reason to think it is going beyond the hand-holding.

Only very unhealthy people want to be controlled and dominated. You should not be dating anyone like that. If you were, then I would tell you it is only a weak person who thinks he is strong by dominating another. However, if you are really just wanting to know how to play the dating game in general and figure out how often to call without being a whipping boy, that is different.

The only way to attract a girl that you will be happy with, is to be the boy you are happy with. Think about that...............................
If you guess at what girls in general want and try to reduce yourself to that, then you will be limiting yourself to stereotypes, and your ideal mate may be beyond stereotypes. Be your best self, and your best match will get sifted out of the excess and find you irresistable. All relationships involve compromise as you grow together, but you don't start out by giving yourself away.

You could "get 50000 different answers", but the one that counts is the one you and your next girlfriend come up with. Any girl that is too immature to discuss what she wants openly is not ready for a relationship and does not no what she wants for herself. At you age, dating is new and experimental. Respect yourself and others and you will figure it out.

Aren't you glad you took things slow with this guy? If you honestly want a relationship with this guy, then you should not be looking for a way to punish him. You should be asking yourself if he is worth the wait. This is because the only way to find out if you can trust him is to give it time. At 16yrs old a week can seem like forever (yes, I remember), but it is important that you take things slow and develop trust as you go. He may or may not earn it, but you still will need to decide from your heart if you are ready to choose to trust him. Remember what Dr. Phil says, "Those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing." Something like that, anyway. You won't in actuality know what he is doing or whom he is doing it with 24hrs. a day, and he may just get better at deceiving you, so keep your eyes open. The only person you can control is you, so let him prove or disprove his trustworthiness by his actions not his promises.

It seems strange to me that you would readily admit that this behavior is abusive, and still be in so much denial. Why would you want to protect this "boyfriend" who is NOT your friend in any sense of the word? Go to the doctor right away and discuss openly all you have said here and anything else that concerns you. Doctors are there to help you without judgement. They generally see what you have described and much worse, so nothing will shock them. If you want to remain more anonymous, then see a random doctor at a clinic and not your usual doctor. You are seeing a regular doctor I hope! As for the abusive guy, being sorry is not good enough, nor is the fact that he may have a human gene in him that you haven't seen before. What montrous side of him are you used to? This is more serious than you now realize and you need to put an end to your relationship with this possibly psychotic guy before you become even more numb to the trauma he is infecting your mind and body with. See a doctor. Call a friend and ask for help. Go here and learn more that could save your life. http://www.4woman.gov/violence/

"Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold."
I don't know who originally said that, but it is profound. Make your current friends your priority...they are the most valuable because they are real, not just potential friends. Then branch out and make new friends all over the place. The silliest thing is to limit yourself to groups or cliques.

The Newspups

Call him no more than he calls you. Don't think the "relationship" is exclusive or anything more than temporary fun. Playing cards/board games give you something to do while you talk and something to talk about. Take it slow with the affection and physical contact until you really know each other...like six months or more! This sounds crazy long to you now, but the longer you prolong those things, the more control you have over your life and heart.

I'd like some details, but I'll start with what I got. You broke up over one year ago, but why? If you broke up with him, then you could get back with him possibly. If he broke up with you then do you know why and has that changed? Third possibility...distance? Anyway, if there is no possibility of getting back together, then you are wasting your time pining away for what you thought you had. It was temporary and things change. You don't have to be in a hurry to replace him or find one as great, just go have fun!

Yes, of course. While there are differences between the sexes, there is none that makes one more or less eligible for presidency or any leadership position. Proving that there would be a disadvantage to having a woman president in general is not likely. Women have proven over time that they are psychologically enduring, driven, capable of moving political mountains and self-sacrificing for the greater cause. Men have not had to prove themselves in this society and many others, but have been in power not because of intellect, but brute physical strength and aggression. While the opposition may argue that women are "more emotional" or "hormonal" these suggestions merely point to the breadth and volume of the female complexity and social evolution which surpasses male emotional capabilities. Women tend to weigh in the latitude of their decisions by balancing cold facts with an empathetic knowledge of how those decisions will impact those around her. One could easily suggest that a woman might make an improvement in the establishment of the presidency by bringing forth a greater personal understanding of humankind in general.

Worrying is a control issue. It comes from fear. Sometimes we need to be afraid, because it protects us from danger. In response to fear, we attempt to control our environment to eliminate the danger that causes our fear. We worry because we realize that we cannot control everything that we fear. You can reduce worry by taking precautions, or rather reduce the need to worry by taking steps to eliminate threatening situations. After that, the irrational worrying and fear is about not being in control of everything. Yes, everything, and that is why you probably worry about everything. No one can be in control that much...enough to protect themselves fully without risk. You can take some precautions, but life involves risk. If you are not ready to risk sex with this man, then you could wait. Being in a loving, commited, mature, dare I say legally married relationship is another form of "protection" from becoming a young, single mother. No form of protection is failsafe, but you are smart to examine every form before jumping into sex. The risks are not limited to pregnancy. Yes, you can get pregnant despite every birth control combination, but it is not as likely. You can also get diseases and infections, so the condoms are a good idea on top of any other birth control. Oral sex without protection is going to put you at risk, also. Maybe you are scared of the other risks of sex that birth control will not protect. You become emotionally vulnerable when you are sexually involved with anyone. Sometimes the risk is worth it and sometimes it is not, but only you can decide for yourself.

You just had a baby and it takes at least a year to return to normal...ha-ha, whatever that is! Your hormones are on overdrive, you have the pressures of motherhood and now your husband is gone most of the time! No wonder you are having difficulty, as anyone could in that circumstance. Do not beat yourself up about it at all. You need friends, a mom, sister, church, anyone who can lend support right now. Your situation is temporary and you will get through it, but you need to lean on people other than your husband. He probably cannot take the emotional weight of all your needs and being a man, he will not understand the complications of motherhood and other things you are going through like a good female companion would. Don't just sit around the house. Seek out a mom's group in your church or community that will introduce you to the wonders of moms in you situation! You need to know and your lovely girl needs to see that mommy is capable of getting out of the house and having a life without a man to hold her up. He is a policeman, but there are equally dangerous fields of work out there and you just can't give in to thinking negatively anyway. He needs you to believe in him and you need to start believing in yourself. Get out of the house today and enjoy a walk in the park or a mall. Seek out other moms who will share your pains and laughter. You deserve some smiles!!!

What is obvious to one person may be undetectable to the next. If it is hard for you to trust anyone, then this is your issue and probably not his. You need to talk to someone about your trust issues, before you ruin a good relationship. If he is a liar then you have reason to suspect anything. If he has not lied to you and is basically a normal guy, then let him work in peace and be happy he comes home to you.

Make eye contact and say hello with a smile. This usually gets some response. If you start talking then pay attention and listen. Everyone likes to be heard and noticed. Just letting someone know that they are important enough to you to listen to will boost his ego and make you more desirable. You don't have to say you like him to let him know that you do. Just be your charming fun self and flash him a smile!

"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable. To say something you value deeply to another and to have him or her value it equally by listening to it carefully and apppreciatively is the most universal way of exchanging social interest or demonstrating affection." David Augsburger, CARING ENOUGH TO HEAR AND BE HEARD.


All sincere persons will be given thoughtful examination and reply. Please be specific about your situation as it applies to your question, the applicable information and facts necessary for me to properly assess your situation and give you the benefit of my knowledge and experience, which includes: experience/education with mentoring, relationship study, self help, spirituality, poetry, literature, philosophy, psychology, color theory, teaching, parenting, and debate that will be used to your advantage. I am concerned with offering an objective and realistic perspective more than ratings, because this will help YOU. Artificial sweetness is found in diet soda, not in my advice. If you feel that I did not understand your question or need more specifics to help, please let me know, but while all truth is subjective, questioners should be mature enough to hear answers not necessarily agreed with. If you are only looking for someone to tell you just what you want to hear, then you may not be ready for my advice. I believe in personal responsibility, self and other awareness and your power and ability to recreate and redirect your own life. All our misery and joy begins and ends within ourselves, but our willingness to be open can bring the positive or negative energy we seek. If you or someone you know is open to positive help, the resources and caring individuals needed are available now.

http://www.coolnurse.com/

http://www.4woman.gov/violence/

http://www.childhelpusa.org/about/programs-and-services/childhelp-national-child-abuse-hotline-1-800-4-a-child

drug/alcohol abuse help go here: http://www.4drugabuse.com/addiction-treatment.html

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/1800-273-TALK(8255)
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With over 120 crisis centers across the country, our mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential. -----------------------------------

http://www.kidscrisis.com/

http://www.teenadviceonline.org/gethelp/numbers.html

You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, 24 hours a day, free & confidential. 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

For info. on birth control etc.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

The Girls and Boys Town National Hotline is the only hotline that children and parents can call with any problem at any time:
Open 24-hours a day, every day at 1-800-448-3000

Spanish-speaking counselors available; translation services for 100+ languages

TTY line available for the hearing-impaired at 1-800-448-1833

Counselors can help find services and agencies in the callers' local community

Help at the End of the Line
Callers talk to highly-trained, professional counselors who listen and give "right now" answers. They're sympathetic people who have expertise dealing with these and other problems:

depression

suicide

running away

parenting problems

relationship concerns

physical, sexual, and emotional abuse

chemical dependency

mental health

anger

aggressive behavior

Toll Free
Operated by Father Flanagan's Boys' Home, hotline services are free of charge to every parent and child in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, U.S. territories, and Canada.

Toll-Free: 1-800-448-3000

http://www.sex-ed101.org/links.html

http://www.anorexicweb.com/anorexicweb.html

Report Child Abuse
Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD TDD: 1-800-2-A-CHILD



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All our motivations stem from two: Love or Fear. When in turmoil or indecision, ask yourself from which of these you are acting. If you want an honest response outside of yourself, you need to first be honest within yourself. Bless you on your journey!

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