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I'm almost 19 and about to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. The thing is, I'm someone who always thinks of the worst that can happen in every situation I am. In this case, my hugest fear is getting pregnant. I've been on birth control for a year and plan to use that AND a condom for protection. But for some reason, I'm still worried. It's not that I'm not ready. Unlike most people, I'm educated, cautious, and responsible. But how can I quit worrying about the things that don't need to be? (This goes along with other situations besides this one.) Thank you.
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Worrying is a control issue. It comes from fear. Sometimes we need to be afraid, because it protects us from danger. In response to fear, we attempt to control our environment to eliminate the danger that causes our fear. We worry because we realize that we cannot control everything that we fear. You can reduce worry by taking precautions, or rather reduce the need to worry by taking steps to eliminate threatening situations. After that, the irrational worrying and fear is about not being in control of everything. Yes, everything, and that is why you probably worry about everything. No one can be in control that much...enough to protect themselves fully without risk. You can take some precautions, but life involves risk. If you are not ready to risk sex with this man, then you could wait. Being in a loving, commited, mature, dare I say legally married relationship is another form of "protection" from becoming a young, single mother. No form of protection is failsafe, but you are smart to examine every form before jumping into sex. The risks are not limited to pregnancy. Yes, you can get pregnant despite every birth control combination, but it is not as likely. You can also get diseases and infections, so the condoms are a good idea on top of any other birth control. Oral sex without protection is going to put you at risk, also. Maybe you are scared of the other risks of sex that birth control will not protect. You become emotionally vulnerable when you are sexually involved with anyone. Sometimes the risk is worth it and sometimes it is not, but only you can decide for yourself.
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hey
k i totally understand what you need to do is tell your bf. tell him that youre worried and ask him what he's going to do if you get pregnant. if he isnt ready for a kid and if you arent reay for a kid then you ARENT ready for sex. its as simple as that. talk about all of the possibilities; abortion, adoption, keeping it. see if you can figure it out. good luck
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if your having so much doubt then maybe your not ready for it. But,it must be a big deal for you and should be becasue its good that your educated and taking all percausions, and remember it is your body that if you got pregnant that would be something that you would not be able to take back... you shold be ok and its good yor thinking but dont do it becasue you feel like you have to
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Orginally i would say that if your nervous about anything you shouldnt have sex. But you say you are deff. ready to have sex and you sound ready. But usually 19 year olds know what they are talking about. Alot of people are nervous about their first time having sex even if they are nervous. And usually it is about getting pregnant. Honestly i would just talk to your boyfriend and explain to him that you are ready to have sex with him but you are worried about getting pregnant. If you want to talk to someone other then your boyfriend try your parents, his parents, friends, a friend of the family. It'll help you feel better.
The chances are not very high. I looked around for a little while online and they said birth control works well. But you should always use condoms because they will help from getting getting diseases. I think youll be fine.
Have any questions just ask.
kim:)
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i think you shouldnt lose it yet if your nervous about being pergnant. also, PREGNANCY IS NOT THE WORST THING!!! you get get aids, genital h., hepititus, or any other disease. the thing is, if you get pregnant and your not ready, you could put the child up for adoption or have your parents take care of him/her til your ready. but aids is with you for good. and is deadly. people daily die from hiv and aids in africa. i say wait til marrage. but thats just me.
xoxo
micki
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Don't listen to the other person. "If you're nervous, you're not ready" is the biggest piece of bullshit anyone has ever said. Having sex for the first time is HUGE. If you're not nervous, it doesn't mean anything to you, and if it doesn't mean anything to you, than you shouldn't do it. You should be nervous about your first time.
But this is your boyfriend, you must care about him a lot, and you're nervous. You've taken every possible precaution, ie, having the safest sex possible. The other person who responded is square-dancing on the far right with Ann Coulter and a bible in their hand. They're right about always having a chance to get pregnant, but if you've been on birth control for a year and he's using a condom it is improbable.
As in all things, if you're prepared and care about what you're doing, things will be fine. Perhaps euphoric. I've always thought nervousness (to a certain extent) is a good thing, because it keeps you on your toes. Try being concerned about what could go wrong in the worst possible scenario, but don't worry or fret about it.
Hope I helped.
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The safest way to stop worrying is to not do it. You seem nervous, and if you're nervous you def aren't ready. If you question it or have any doubts, wait.
There's always a chance you can get pregnant. Even if its 1 out of 493058390458903485, or even 0.1 There's still that chance.
If you use both I doubt you'd rarely have a chance of it happening. I've NEVER heard/seem that happen before, but you never know. However, if you still want to and you're worried, I think if you use both everytime, you should be safe.
=] Evy
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