Hey!
I live in Canada and I'm teen. I've been through a lot of stuff with my friends over the last few years and I always try to give my insight into their problems (sometimes even when they don't really want it lol).
I've realized that over time I have accumulated a lot of questions about moving on, so if you have a question about that, lay it on me!!
I don't think that ratings matter, and that you should choose someone to trust your question with, that will answer it with care, but show you what the world really is and wont sugar coat it.
I hope you guys find my advice helps, hope to talk soon!! :D
Angie
E-mail: princess_in_pink723@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Canada
Age: 16
MSN: princess_in_pink723@hotmail.com
Member Since: September 9, 2006
Answers: 465
Last Update: February 20, 2010
Visitors: 28551
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I tried thinking I was normal but not helping. things around me keep getting worse yesterday my bestfriend jumped my boyfriend my boyfriend sliced his neck with scissors so my friend needed four stitches now he refuses to talk to me at all he's completly ignoring me. He was my best friend and has been for three years and we have been through way worse stuff together and he's never just left like this. I'll admit he has told me he loves me And wants to be together and I have feelings for him too and may want to be with him but I was in a abusive relationship and I'm scared to be with him in case so I stay with my current boy friend he has hit me but only a couple times and it's ok I deserve it. I just don't know what to do anymore I'm so scared and I miss my friend I just wanna be able to talk to him again... What should I do.. (link)
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Hey!
Okay first of all, um no... you don't deserve it! Don't even think like that because thats not fair at all. Before you can start feeling like you deserve to be alive and well, you have to stop feeling like you ever deserve for someone to abuse you. ever. ok? I've never been in an abusive relationship, so I am probably not one to talk in that area, but no one deserves to get hit, ever. By parents, or friends or boyfriends, it doesn't matter, you mean way way way more than that. No matter what you did to "deserve" it. Theres nothing in the world that deserves someone who is probably way bigger and way stronger than you taking physical force on you. sorry, I just feel like you don't deserve that at all :(
anyway... just to clarify, because of a previous abusive relationship (not the boyfriend you're with now right?) you are scared to be with your best friend because you are afraid he might be abusive?
why did you're best friend jump your boyfriend? was it because of something that your boyfriend did or was it because he likes you?
okay, so your friend isn't talking to you right? well if that just happened yesterday, maybe give it a day or two. if he's your best friend he'll come back, especially if he's been there for you through a lot. Just have faith and he will come back. okay?
maybe while he's not talking to you, you should consider whats going on in your mind about the guys around you. just because you've been in one abusive relationship doesn't mean that all guys will hit you (though, on the other hand doesn't mean only some guys do, so I guess you just have to figure out which kind of guy your friend is). and you have to figure out where you are as far as your boyfriend, whether or not you wanna be with him right?
I know everything seems really rough right now, and I'm sure it is really bad, but you can pull through this. think of all of the things in your life that you have overcome, I admire your strength and courage so far. you can get through this and even though you feel really alone and scared you will make it through this and everything will work its way out soon. you just have to take everything one day at a time and keep asking for help if you need it (*cough, I'm here for you babe!
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what do you do when a boy asks you out i mean do you say yes do you say i'll think about it caulse this is my first crush??!!!!!!!!!!!!! btw i'm ten and i want this guy to like me + i think he dose and i'm not telling him i like him that will just get me in more trouble. (link)
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Hey! :)
So ask long as you are allowed to date, I would totally say yes. If you like him and he likes you, then you should go for it! You don't have to tell anyone who you like (especially the guy!) unless you want to. you have a long road ahead of you, this is one of many many crushes I bet. Just have fun ok?! Whether he asks you our or not, keep in mind there are lots of guys out there, but hopefully he asks you out, and if he does, and you feel comfortable with him, say yes because then you get to spend time with a new guy! Hope that helps, if you need anything else just let me know!! :)
Angie91
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15/f,freshman
There is this boy in my class who I've constantly fought with.He insulted me and stuff...and then 2 weeks ago our teacher made us sit together in class.I was really frustrated in the beginning but after a few days we actually started getting along and now I've fallen for him.I don't even know when it happened.I heard from my best girl friend in class that at the end of the first term,he asked her to help him get with me.She started complimenting him in front of me but I said I'd never like him cause he's mean,and apparently he heard it and got really disappointed,so he tried to get my attention by insulting me,and he told her to stop trying.The problem is now I like him,I'm not sure he likes me back after all and I desperately want him to notice me.Yesterday he was looking at me when he thought I wouldn't see (but I saw him lol),talked randomly to me,smiled,I caught his gaze a few times...we held hands for a bit after a high-five,I jumped on him,he held me but didn't protest,we wore each other's jacket...and I kept wondering why he didn't complain at all...My friends say they think it's because he likes me.Then,today he almost paid no attention at all to me.I've been told that it's just in my head.I feel very lousy,because I want to show him how I feel,but on the other hand I do not want to get rejected or laughed at for my crush...I can't figure out if he likes me or not...all I hear is "don't worry he does" but I have no concrete proof and honestly I'm sick and tired of being rejected...what should I do?I have no courage to confront him about it...yet I'm not sure how long I can wait to see what will happen... (link)
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Hey!
I don't know if I would have the guts to do this myself, haha, but its just an idea. valentines is this weekend, so what I was thinking, is maybe you could get a really cheesy valentines day card and write: "Will you be my valentine?" (or something) on it. I personally think this is a really great idea because, it lets you do the talking, WITHOUT actually talking. if you feel like he might reject you, its valentines day, you could have given that card to anyone, but if he likes you, its the perfect opportunity. Plus, guys get nervous too, and if he thinks that you maybe don't like him, he might be too scared to make a move. plus you kinda turned him down in a way, so its your turn. so get some guts girl! if it turns out, you'll feel awesome because you took a chance and it paid off, and if it doesnt turn out well, then at least you got the answer you were looking for right?! I don't know you or the guy, so I can't tell you if he likes you, only he can tell you that. so take a chance! life is about risks and you can do it!
If you have any other questions, or need more of a pep talk let me know!
angie91
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I'm sixteen and female when I was thirteen I had two surgeries on my stomach it was tough but I got over it now at the end of januaray I was put in and had three more surgeries on my stomach it's been hard for me to get through it usually impretty independent but it's been really hard I just wanna be normal again which isn't happening cuZ I'm not allowed to go to school or work I'm pretty much not allowed out of my house I just wanna be normal like everyone else is but I can't get it back to that and it's starting to really get to me and I used to cut and I'm starting to get those urges again I just don't know what to do. Please help me.
- sleepiesheep (link)
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Hey!
My mom was really sick when she was a teenager, and after she had me, she had to go in for a countless number of surgeries on her stomach including having her pancreas and gall bladder removed when I was about 12. It was extremely hard on her, and at the risk of sounding selfish, it was hard on me.
I've always had this idea of what "normal" is, and I've never felt like my family was normal. it used to bother me, and even though I am lucky enough to lead a pretty "normal" life, I often find myself wishing that I was born someone different.
One thing that I have learned in growing up, is that no matter what you believe (ie. god etc), you were given your life for a reason. all of these things that you are going through, they are supposed to happen, and they are making you stronger (not just in a health sense). And you know what, there is no normal. Your life, at this exact moment, thats normal. If you want to go back to a part of your life where you felt more normal, keep remember that the past is the past, the future is the future and right now its the present! So live for today.
Your life is SOOO important. and no matter how hard it is right now - which I can only imagine, that it is extremely difficult - there has got to be someone who loves you and wants you to get better. I live for my mom and she lives for me. thats how we get through the tough stuff and the everyday stuff.
I can't stop the urges to cut yourself, but have you told anyone about them? because sometimes just telling someone will help you. You'd be surprised how much the people around you can help when it comes to being depressed, maybe they can even help you feel a little more normal. If they do know but it still feels like you're alone in all of this, maybe you need to talk to someone else (like me?! :p). If you need someone to talk to, who maybe gets a little of what you're going through, you can always message me.
I know that my little advice wont change the big picture, I can only hope it shed a little light on a new perspective. If you need anything, I'm here for you babe!
-Angie91
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there is this guy at my school, and i like him, and he might like me cuz he smiles at me ALOT, but i dont know what to say on his birthday (9 days) and no, im not going to make the first move!! -any advice?? (link)
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Hey,
I would just be really casual about it. I would go up to him alone, to put the spotlight on you, and simply wish him a happy birthday, sure it seems like thats the generic thing to do, but if you go out of your way to do something or say something special, it will be making the first move, and thats not what you want right? so I would just go over to him and wish him a happy birthday, if it feels like the conversation could keep going ask him about his plans for the day or what he thinks hes getting/got for his birthday and tell him you hope he has a great day. it shows him that you're thinking about him and that you remember an important day in his life, and even though he'll get a million happy birthdays, if you actually go up to him and say when he can give you his undivided attention, it will mean something to him (and if it doesnt, thats because he's a boy :P)
Good luck, and no matter what at least say something to him, even if you do just shout happy birthday as he's walking out, if you don't say anything, it could totally send him the message that you don't care enough to remember. No worries though, you'll be fine.
Love ya!
-Angie
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Okay, I'm looking at losing weight over a long period of time, so it's not just water weight, and it's a healthy weight loss.
I'm not obese. I'm chubby, and I eat healthy most of the time (I don't eat candy or chocolate, I can't have soft drink so I only drink water & flavoured mineral water and I rarely eat junk food) it's just this exercise I need to think of.
What do you think would be better not only for losing weight, but exercise altogether
Doing 15 minutes (time to increase once I start doing it more) of walking up and down a pretty steep hill, and a walk everyday
or
Doing that exercise where you lie on the ground, lift your legs up and then lower them but don't touch the ground for 5 minutes (time to increase once I start doing it more) and going for a walk everyday (link)
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Hey!
This is a difficult one, but here's what I know. I just started exercsing regularly, and what you need to do is pick a plan that you will stick to. Becuase if you pick one that you think will get better results, but give up because its too challenging, then you wont ever get anywhere right?
It looks like you've tried to give this some thought, but I have a suggestion, you need to change it up a bit, because if you do the same thing every day you're going to get bored and one thing to think about is, if you choose to walk outside, what happens when it rains (or snows or whatever)? Will you still go? You can say yeah, but when it is actually raining, you probably wont look so forward to it. Pick something thats fun that you can do rain or shine.
heres what I did, I picked out 20 seventeen magazines and pulled the workout examples out of them (I had the magazines laying around, but you can go to a library or something) and I cut out all of the best exercises (targeting things that I wanted to target ex. abs, core, butt, legs) and glued them onto construction paper, then I chose days of the week (every second day or so) and colour coded them. I managed to get cardio, aerobics and muscle building exercises out of magazines. I've been doing it for a few weeks and it really seems to be working, it just takes 15-20 minutes and I wake up feeling like the parts I targetted actually got a work out (but I don't feel like I just ran a mile and am too stiff to get out of bed).
Walking does increase your calf and sometimes theigh muscles, but if you're going to get out there anyway, run. Running improves cardio.
I would suggest that if you dont like my idea, that you should try both exercises and see which one is more enjoyable for you. And the other thing is you want to target the problem areas. If your legs are the problem, the first one will be okay, but if you have a larger stomach area, then I would suggest something that tones abs. I dont know if the second one does that, the description is hard for me to visualise. So its really up to you to decide.
good job, you are really trying to improve yourself which is a good thing, but make sure you choose the program that will work for you, and if those dont work, try and find one that does! Don't give up until you find one. Good luck, and I hope my ideas help. Love ya!
Angie91
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I want to write a book, I would like to know what kind of book you would like to read. I prefer teen girls to answer this question. Any tips and advice would be helpful too!
Thanks :]] (link)
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16/f
Hey!
I like books that have characters that I can relate to. I liek the drama of sex and love and highschool and stuff, with all of the problems that come along with them, but at the same time, I don't like books that are problem solvers. You know what I mean? Like if I'm reading a book, I don't want to hear about how perfect her life is turning out after she got pregnant (as an example) thats not real. Sometimes when mistakes happen, you can't magically fix them.
I am also an author, and even though I am not professional, and I haven't had any books published, I have successfully finished novels. My biggest suggestion is, that you will have tons of ideas for characters, plot lines, etc, but the key to knowing whether or not you are going to stick with a book, is if you enjoy writing it. I often will write epologues to several novels, but I have my series that I have been writing for a while now and I can never leave it too long. The characters are like my buddies, and they need me to create their life (Obviously they are not my real friends Lmao, I'm not psycho, I'm speaking figuratively), the series is like my baby, I don't let things get in the way of writing, and that is how I know that it is the story I'm going to stick too. Believe me, its easy to vere off on some other story, but its the book you come back to again and again that will be your greatest success. I can't tell you much about the professional side, but if you need anything in the whole writing process definitely let me know!
Good luck, I know you'll write an amazing book! Love ya,
Angie91
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pros/cons of smoking pot
health risks that are proven, if any
thank you (link)
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Hey!
My friends boyfriend smokes pot. I cant tell you the positive things about it, but I know that everytime she calls me up at two in the morning feeling shitty because of the way her boyfriend talks to her when he's high, well thats when I know that pot is bad. it can control you. you can get addicted and you start screwing up your life. skipping work/school to get high.
you lose brain cells and its no healthier than smoking cigarettes. an addiction is an addiction (hard to kick, bad for your mental health).
theres something called tch which can hurt brain development, your immune system, and your reproductive system (youch).
if you plan to have kids it will screw them up, not only are they more likely to become addicted later in life, but it can cause mutations in them (if you're like I'm not having kids any time soon, well it can hurt your future kids, ten or twenty years down the line).
I'm not a scientist, and I've never done it, but I know that there is tons of research online. you can also talk to doctors for cons. pros are obvious, you zone out, and completely relax (sweet eh?).
I mean its obviously your decision whether or not to do drugs, but if you're smart enough to question it, you're smart enough to NOT do it.
you can screw up your life and the lives of others.
My friends (ex) boyfriend is currently girlfriend-less, he has like one friend and his parents kicked him out. so his life is going down the drain, and last time I checked, he had no intention of stopping.
so those are my cons, but if you want more info heres the first link I saw when I typed in "risks + pot" into google. http://www.hempology.com/2001/09/19/health-risks-of-marijuana-use-james-geiwitz-phd
there you go, I hope I helped, and dont think that I was totally ranting on you, that wasnt my intention, I just wanted you to know the facts and the opinions. thats what you asked for right?
good luck, and I hope I helped,
love ya
angie91
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Ok, I've been chosen by this teacher to help tutor this girl who's having trouble with spanish. I'm in highschool by the way, so anyways does anyone have any tips on what should I do? I never tutored before so I'm kind of nervous that I might not be of any good help. (link)
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Hey!
I just started tutoring this guy in english (not as an additional language btw) and I was really nervous at first. I was like k, what if I totally screw him up and he fails? well the first time I tutored him, he did fail. I felt so bad, but I realised that without my help he probably would have done worse. I look at our first time tutoring as a milestone. I looked at the paper I helped him write, and noted the corrections. I explained them to him, and told him what he needed to fix for next time. The second time I tutored him, I made sure that I really concentrated on makeing sure that he understood what I was saying.
He slowly got better. he still has a lot of difficulties but its gotten easier. it was hard at first because I didnt know where he really needed help. now that I do, I can concentrate on the areas.
I try to remember that I cant give him the answers and I cant tell him what to write about, and sometimes I mess up, but for the most part I try hard to help him out. Everyone tells me that I just need to remember, he could be doing worse, he should be thankful for my help, and he is!
On your first meeting, get to know her, find out what her marks are like and see what her tests and assignments are like. maybe you can see what her problems are. That will help you out more.
So try not to stress about it, it is alittle nerve racking, knowing that their mark is sort of in your hands, but you wouldnt have been chosen if your teaher didnt think you knew what was going on. and just remember if he gets a bad mark, it doesnt mean you're a bad teacher, it just means that she needs more help in certain areas (it can even be a good thing). And being a tutor will help you to concrete your own knowledge of spanish (teaching others, can help you in your knowledge).
I can't describe how awesome it is to tutor someone. when they do poorly, it sucks, but when they do well, its like you're doing well AND you're helping someone. its really great and you're going to love it! good luck, and I hope by telling you my tutoring stories, you have a bit of an idea what its like. Don't stress, you'll be great!
love ya,
angie91
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Okay so in the beginning of my junior year I had a crush on this guy and he had told me he really really liked me...soo I was talkin to my guy friend and askin if i should ask him out or sumthin and he said i should so somehow that got around and my crush started freakin out
and started ignoring me
and started talkin shit behind my back and makin fun of me in front of me cause he's friends with my friends soooo i was completely crushed for a month i was depressed out of my mind. He's an asshole of course but I just felt like a fuckin loser because of the complete and total humilliation and rejection. So anyway I'm pretty much over it but I'm not the same, before all that happened I was a happy go lucky girl, confident, highest self esteem ever and he pretty much tore me down little by little. I've never been able to fully recover...probly becuz i put up walls with everyone i meet becuz im afraid that i will get made fun of or get hurt again. So im never able to just be myself around anyone else except for my 2 best friends.
Can anyone help me to get over this so i can be me again??
I will rate a 5 to anyone who really tries to help :D
thankss (link)
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Hey!
Well there are some things you can try to build up your self esteem. I have a pretty low confidence level, and at times, low self esteem, so I know where you're coming from.
One exercise I do regularly, is standing in front of the mirror. Sometimes that can be hard for people with low self esteem. stand there and smile. Think about what kinds of things make you smile, and think about how awesome it is to see yourself smile. then try and do everything you can in life to make yourself smile. I mean if you're in a bad mood, think of something happy, if you dont feel like you can be confident, think of how much more happy you are when you are outgoing.
also in front of the mirror, list things that are amazing about you (ex. I have great hair, I have a great smile, I have a great personality, I am carefree, I love my friends). pick one everyday and tell yourself that. try and revert away from looks (like I look cute in this t-shirt etc, but if it comes to that, then those are good too).
you need to make your feelings known, to yourself and to others. if you are angry, make sure you know it, make sure other people know it. if you are frustrated, dont be afraid to show it.
I know you play it over and over in your head, but you need to write down exactly what happened with this guy. Write down every detail. then read through it and think about a few things, what you did wrong, how much of a jerk he was, what you could do better next time, what about all of this still hurts you so much. there are clearly emotions there that havnt been fully touched on, otherwise you wouldnt still feel this way.
You need to learn how to be more confident again. (I know, its harder than it sounds). I can only say from experience, but I used to take a lot of acting/drama/musical theatre classes, they are honestly the places/times when I was the most confident I have ever been. I laughed and I wasnt afraid to break out of my shell. I would HIGHLY recommend trying one out. It really can be worth it. Everyone is putting themselves out there and you're not the only one.
I think you need to start seeing other guys (I dont know if you have been or not). you need to fight the risks of fear and rejection and get back out there. I know its tough, but you can do it, I believe in you. you can only become more confident with talking to guys if you do it more often! so give it a shot okay.
I hope that helps out a bit, but you have to keep an open mind and be willing to try anything. Those are just a few things that you can do, but I can help you out way more if you need some thing else okay? Good luck, and i hope I helped,
Love ya,
angie91
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my hair is medium-thinnish, but its really flat and limp, and when i put it in a ponytail its like heavy and limp and it really annoys me..what can i do to make it more um "fluffy" haha without it being like frizzy, and i also have a couple layers (not many, but they are short) and when i put my hair in a ponytail i really want them to stick out the layers (I hope you know what i mean) any help??
Thanks:)
PS my hair is about 2 inches below my shoulders (link)
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Hey!
You are exactly like me!!! I have been battling this problem for ages. Kay, so what I did was I got layers, and I use a thick barreled curling iron to flip it out. If you google Mandy moore, and Reese Whitherspoon, you'll probably see what I mean.
When I want to curl it, I use this process:
1. Blow dry,
2. Hairspray
3. Curl
4. Spray
5. Brush/comb (if need be)
6. SPRAYYYY.
Talk to your hair dresser about layers. she will probably be able to give you some good information about the layers in a pony tail.
Make sure you have a side part/bangs, those tend to make your thin hair look alittle more volumnous.
There are also different shaping gels that can keep it fluffy and prevent frizziness. I would recommend talking to your hair dresser.
Good luck, hope I helped :)
angie91
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Okay so i have this friend that moved last year...i was happy because she turned out to really mean like once this girl was crying because she found out her boyfriend was cheating on her and i was trying to comfort her and she goes "Did YOUR father ever push you sister down the stairs? MINE DID, THAT is something to be sad about"
The entire school hated her...and we were glad when she left...but she didn't know that. So know she wants to go the same high school as me and most of the people that hate her...and I've been telling them that they don't...now i don't know what to do. If i become enemies with her she will devote her life to making sure i suffer.
HELP!!!! (link)
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Hey!
I've been partially in this situation before. I had a friend exactly like that before. to my relief she moved away in the eighth grade. a few years later, she started asking me if people still asked about her, if I was still her friend or if some of my friends hated her. I kept telling her that I didnt know, and that I just wanted to conflicts between us to end. we dont really talk anymore, but I don't have to worry about her coming back. I couldnt imagine what you're going through right now.
I would suggest, talking to her (if you can) and telling her that you just want to make things between you and her as comfortable as possible, without conflict and anger and stuff. tell her that she has hurt you in the past and that you want to put all of that past you (even if you dont) and that you just want to try and respect each other.
Try not to become "enemies" with her. just try to avoid her. if you have to talk to her, just exchange pleasantries, and be overly nice. If she does take this offensively and start going after you, ignore it (as hard as that may be in highschool erg...) and remember, at least you're a good person. a lot of the people who know her will know what shes like and with girls like her, people will quickly begin to realise what shes like and they'll understand that its not you. If she makes you choose sides, or associates you as her with enemies, tell her that you don't hate her (even if you do) but that there have been times in the past that you can't forget as much as you wish you could.
I hope thats enough advice to get you through this, but if she does decide to go to highschool with you and you need more specific advice let me know, I have an idea what you're going through and I can probably help. Good luck, and I hope I helpped,
Love ya,
angie91
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what makes you go from a light sleeper to a heavy sleeper? Because for the first time in my life, when my phone goes off I sleep right through it. Apparently the family dog has been barking all week and it hasn't woken me up once. Usually any sound wakes me up. If it is revelant, I recently moved in with my boyfriend. (link)
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Hey!
Hmm this is a bit more difficult. I have started to become a bit deeper of a sleeper recently as well. I think that you learn to adjust to differnt sleep patterns. Yeah moving in with your boyfriend could totally make a difference. if you're sharing a bed, then your body has to learn to sleep through the other persons breathing and moving around if that is somthing you have to experience on a regular basis. Also, I think sleep patterns can just change. I know that when you have kids, you sleep a lot lighter for fear of the baby being in danger, and one thing that is totally possible is that now you feel safe with your boyfriend near by. Having a man around could make you feel safer and that could make you sleep heavier.
Also, depending on the tone of the dogs bark, who knows what is a startling noise to you, and what isn't. And depending on what stage of sleep you are in when the dog is barking, you may be too fast asleep for it to wake you.
I'm sure that there are millions of other reasons that could be causing this, you might want to research it on line, or talk to your doctor some time if you're really interested, he might know.
Thanks for asking! Hope I helped.
Love ya!
Angie91
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ok so in the past couple of months ive tried to make friends by talking to them and having a conversation, and its generally working. however, once i find that this person might be considering me as "more than an acquaintance", i like freak out and cant handle the..pressure? like i feel that i wont live up to their standards of what they want me to be. and i know someone's gonna say "dont worry, blah, all you can do is be a friend" but like i have standards for friendship too..number 1, they have to make me laugh. and if a person doesnt make me geniunely laugh, then i feel like im forcing myself to be interested in them and i hate the feeling of..a superficial friendship? idk.
and the more i try to be closer to people the more i resent the person. like i feel like i cant talk to people about my problems, my life always has to be peachy. people frequently describe me as "[my name here]? oh she's always such a happy person!" but inside im really not, its only bc i cant bring myself to share my problems, because..i guess im afraid i'll get hurt or the person will think wow this girl is really uncool, she has so many problems. NOTE, when i say problems, i dont mean stuff like "omg i left my hw @ home" i mean like "when he said that it really hurt my feelings"..i guess that means i have problems talking about my feelings. i CANT bring myself to do it! i actually have tried several times with diff people, and i always find that after trying to talk about stuff like that w/ someone the person always treats me DIFFERENT. like with pity, or contempt, or a sense of awkwardness. they wont treat me NORMAL! and its just depressing..and it hurts..and i guess thats why i feel i cant talk to anyone without being persistently asked, not even my close friends or family, and even after that i'll only talk if im under pressure to talk, so i dont make it seem like it is coming up out of nowhere.
advicenators is the only place i can write this because im anonymous and ill never talk to you guys again, so i cant be hurt.
ugh..
advice is appreciated..thanks for reading. (link)
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Hey!
I think you have social anxiety. A lot of people have it to some extent, but you seem to have it a fair bit. They say that anxiety is a healthy thing UNTIL it prevents you from leading a healthy life. In your case it is preventing you from making friends. This is just a guess though, I'm not qualified to diagnose you with it or anything, but its something to think about, and possible research, or talk to your doctor about.
I think that you need to learn how to become more comfortable with talking to people about issues in your life (You are very much like me, I am very happy on the outside, and a while back I was depressed. I confided in my best friend and she was completely totally shocked because she didnt even think that it was possible that I could be upset about something). Try and learn to confide in people. I know this something that is easier said than done, but here is what I would suggest. Everyday, find something small that is something you wouldnt normally say to someone, and try and find someone to talk to about it. Confiding in someone is a universal sign that you want to reach out to someone. I know you say that you can't bring yourself to do it, but you can. I believe in you, all you need to do is set your heart on it. And dont think that I am being a hypocrit, or that I don't understand. I do, believe me, I do, but I also know that facing your fears or anxiety takes effort, and a good mind set. You can do it.
You're putting on an act by acting happy all of the time, you need to break though it. That will take a lot of work, but baby steps okay? I know that there is fear of rejection or being treated differently, but what is actually going on is that you are waiting for them to treat you differently, so you see it happen, you pick it out, when there is a possibility that they actually arent doing that at all. Theres a chance of course that they are, but I think you're just really picking up on it.
It may seem impossible but you can face your fears. if you're not sure how, let me know and I can give you some more advice.
I am wondering if you are in touch with your own feelings. I think that if you arent, then maybe you should start writing down things, like a journal. Try and get really in touch with your feelings. if you are in touch with your own feelings then you are more likely to show them more.
You also need to start expressing your feelings, as difficult as it may be. If you aer angry, try and show it a bit, I'm still working on that one too, but if you try to express your feelings to other, it is more likely that that will come out as compassion.
High standards when it comes to friends is a good thing, but if someone is reaching out to you, don't reject them okay? That wouldnt be how you would want to be treated right? So maybe they can't be your best friend if they can't make you laugh, but maybe they can still be a good person to spend time with.
There is a lot of information to cover here, and I just touched on a lot of it, if you need more specific information or even just more guidance. I'm here for you, most of this stuff, I have gone through/am going through currently, so I understand, and I'm not going to judge you.
I know you can get through this, its just a matter of setting realistic goals and trying to get through them. I wanna wish you good luck, and I hope I helpped. Lots of love!
Angie91
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I got an abortion in January and right after i got it i started on the birth control pills and i've been taking them correctly ever since. I had my period since feb 25th is something wrong?
I have sex with my boyfriend almost every night, so i don't know if that means anything but i don't eat much either. So my stomach feels weird at times... please don't tell me to take a pregnacy test. thanx (link)
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Hey!
Okay, I'm not sure if I read that correctly, but you're saying that you have had your period steadily for the past fifteen days or so?
If that is the case then I would probably go see my doctor. I doubt that sex has anything to do with it. There are a couple of things that could be going on, but I'm not a doctor, so I can't tell you what is really going on there.
i would go in and talk to my doctor, and show him my eating habits, and if you could bring in a chart with some of you period dates and information like that then that would probably help. There are tons of different birth control pills out there, and maybe this one just isnt the right one for you. I'm sure your doctor will know whats up though, so make an appointment and save yourself the stress of all of this wondering.
You're not pregnant, don't worry, if you have your period, then you're less likely to be pregnant, so I'm not going to tell you to go take a pregnancy test lol.
good luck, and I hope I helped!
Love ya!
Angie91
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why does it seem like when I get at least 8 hours of sleep a night, in the morning I feel more tired than when I maybe get four or five hours of sleep? (link)
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Hey!
Well I have a sleep disorder, so I have talked to a lot of doctors about sleeping. there are a couple of things that they have told me that a lot of people dont know.
the first thing is that when you sleep, you can basically bank sleep. so if you sleep for three hours one night, and then next night you sleep in and you get ten hours of sleep. Well your body is saying hey! What the hell! I need to catch up on the sleep I missed from the night before! So basically you are still tired because your body wants you to go back to bed and finish catching up on sleep you have recently lost.
Another reason that you could be overtired after more sleep is that sleep is really only counted by sleeping straight through the night. So I dont know if you're one of those people who sleeps for three hours, then wakes up, then goes back to sleep and sleeps for another three or four hours or not. But if you are then you cant say you sleep for seven hours, you can only say you slept for four. It kind of doesnt make sense, because you would think that sleep is sleep, but broken sleep doesnt give you the sound sleep that you really need.
And finally, there is this rumour I have been hearing that may or may not be true. Apparently, the maximum amount of sleep you should get in a day is 7 hours and 20 minutes. If you get more than that it can actually be detrimental. On the other hand less than five hours is bad because you're not getting enough sleep. However, remember thats just a rumour I've been hearing.
Also, remember that your mind needs to be in patterns. If you throw it off a lot it gets confused. If you get four horus of sleep six days in a row, and then all of a sudden you are getting eight, well then your mind is probably confused and doesnt understand the changes in patterns. that is just something to think about.
Hopefully now you understand a bit better about why you are tired in the morning. If you have any other questions let me know, I've become a mini expert lol.
Love ya,
Angie91
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should i take it to the next level is my question.
so i have been talking with this guy online and on the phone.we recently just went rollerbladding in a group.i know he likes me and i know he knows that i like him.what do i do? does he ask me or do i ask him? he wants to hang out sometime this week and he is the one that asked .not me.do i say sure we can hang out or not? (link)
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Hey!
If you want to hang out with him (build a relationship) then you definitely should. he put himself out there and asked you out, so if you think that you could see yourself hanging out with him, then you should definitely say yes.
I can't tell you whether or not to go out with this guy, because I don't know him, and I don't know you, but if there is something holding you beck presently, then you need to listen to your heart. Maybe, somewhere deep down inside, theres something telling you not to, and thats why you asked this question. if that sound sort of on the ball, then maybe you need to think about this for a bit.
So should you take it to the next level? well thats up to you babe, you need to find out how you feel about him, you're the only one who can answer this question, but if you like him, and he likes you, well that sounds like a pretty good start! Good luck and I hope I helped! love ya!
Angie91
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im a really outgoing person. ive had a hard time finding good friends. like i talk to a ton of people in school but none are "good" friends that would make sure i have something to do on the weekend (normally i do but ya know) so how can i get them to be good friends, the ones who you have sleepovers with and tell anything to and get in trouble for talking in class. (link)
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Hey!
Being outgoing is a really great trait that a lot of people wish they had so you're really lucky. I think you need to first of all, not stress about all of this. You will make close friends, but a relationship takes time. what you need to do is make an effort. reach out to people. if someone looks like they are struggling with something, run over to them and try and help them out. Compliment people and try to strike up conversations with a lot of people on a regular basis.
When someone that you could see being a good friend signs on (msn or whatever you use ont he internet) message them (not the moment they sign on, that can get annoying) and try and strike up a good conversation.
Invite people to do things with you, if you need to go to the mall to get a new shirt, ask one of the people you know fairly well to go with you. Invite a group of people to go out to dinner with you. I met one of my best friends at a lunch with some of my other friends. they invited her along even though I wasnt a good friend of hers. but once we started talking and laughing, we became the best of friends.
remember, don't judge a book by its cover, you never know who your best friend will be, so you have to get to know a lot of people.
I met one of my really good friends, in my science class. she and I laughed over how messed up the teacher is, and we worked on projects together. Study buddies make great friends. if you sit by someone in a class that you could see being a really good friend, try and reach out to them. talking to them a lot will help to build the relationship.
Try and join a few activities after school (or if you are already in some, reach out to people there). if you are in things that you enjoy, then chances are you will meet people who share your interests. the more interests you have in common, the more likely you will make the best of friends.
I hope this helps, but let me know if you need some more ideas, I've got plenty more. Good luck! You'll find some great buds, I know it. Love ya!
Angie91
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alrighty i was dating this guy for a lil while and he's about four years older and we broke up because he felt bad because he didn't want to have sex with a virgin but heres the thing im not a virgin and i can't stop thinking about him what should i do? (link)
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Hey!
Well there are a couple of things that you have to think about here. I mean sure you like this guy, but when you think about it, how shallow can he be?! He broke up with you because he didnt want to sleep with a virgin? it shouldnt matter whether or not you're a virgin. If he likes you enough to want to sleep with you, things like that shouldnt matter.
However, that might not matter to you, in that case, go talk to him. Tell him that you're not a virgin and tell him that you dont want to break up with him.
Make sure that before you go talk to him, he really is the guy for you, I mean he's four years older than you and he seems pretty concerned with sex, but if that is the kind of guy you want, then thats great, you should definitely go back to him. Just make sure you give it a bit of thought before you go talk to him.
Good luck! And I hope I helpped, love ya,
angie91
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Hello,
Ok me and my ex boyfriend who I dated for 3 months broke up because he told me he thinks he might of loved another girl. But he didnt want to break up, but I already dumped him. Now curently a week later he is dating that girl and already did stuff with her. I still love him but I'm not sure if I want to tell him that, I think he might just laugh at me but I've been in a really bad depression hole and I cant get out of. He was always there for me. Do you think I should tell him and try to get him back? Do you think It was foolish of me to dump him in the begining?
Thank you
CuteKitten (link)
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Hey!
Well first of all, no I dont think it was foolish. It wasnt foolish at all. It was your decision, and you made a good one, simply because you followed what your heart said. If you go against your heart, well thats when disaster happens.
its up to you to decide if you think that you should tell him. I can't tell you whether or not to do it, you have to listen to your heart. Thinking this out reasonably; he is with another girl. He told you that he thought he might love this other girl. He didnt want to break up with you, but in my opinion, I think that he felt that you were the thing standing in between him and her. You did what you thought was right and let him go, and he jumped at the chance to be with this other girl. You can still tell him that you love him, if you think that it is right, however, it is really crutial that you think about this. He is with the girl that he thinks he may love. He may love you too, but thinking like a guy would, he dated you already, and he's got someone else who is willing to go out with him. It probably hurts to think about this, but if you don't, then you might make a mistake. Think this through, and listen to your heart, then you will make the right decision (and if you don't well then its a mistake you can learn from right?).
As far as depression, I am usually a very happy person, but a few months ago I spiraled into this depression, just for a little bit, and it wasnt bad, but I can see where you are coming from, and it sucks. I used to tell people that are depressed that you just have to think happy thoughts, but thats a joke, I know that doesnt work. I think that you need to make sure that you are aware of your own emotions and find someone to talk to. whether it be a close friend, or a family member, or even someone random person that you don't know at all, that can't judge you. You need to talk to someone to get it out. If this continues on for more than like a week, you need to go see your doctor, or talk to your parents or something. You can't let depression get a hold on you, you have to fight it okay? Don't give into it.
This is a really difficult situation you are in, but just take time, and try and find someone else to confide in. Try to over time, work on your friendship with your ex, that is if you decide not to tell him you love him. Listen to your heart and do what you think is right, but don't forget to think about it a bit first okay? Good luck. And I really hope I helped. Thanks for asking me, and let me know if you need ANYTHING else okay? I wish this kind of thing didnt have to happen to you, but sometimes, what doesnt kill us makes us stronger.
Love ya lots!!
Angie91
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