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getting into trouble due to "appearance" of PDA in stairwell
My boyfriend and I have been dating 10 months. We go to a two story school with stairwells. We were in this one particular stairwell in the morning before school started and one teacher told us to "MOVE ON, GET TO CLASS" (Note: We were not hugging or doing any other type of PDA, my boyfriend was just standing against the wall with me about a foot in front of him looking at him). Today, between classes, we were in the same stairs, same scenario. We walked down the stairs, hugged quickly, then I went back up the stairs where the teacher was staring then made my way to my class (I went to third period). She happened to be talking to my boyfriend and I's fourth period teacher, when the teacher that got on to us and came over and talked to us. She said that we are not allowed to be in the stairwell between classes (except to get to class, obviously)and we were giving the appearance of doing something else (Note: Neither of these "rules" are written school rules). She told us if she caught us in there again, she was going to write us both up. My boyfriend asked what rules we were breaking and she said "Subordination". She told our fourth period teacher about it, and my fourth period teacher got on to us simply for holding hands (according to the policy book, this is acceptable).
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If it's not a written school rule then if I were you I would keep doing what I was doing and ignore the teachers.
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I just have to take the minute to say a large bravo to protossc541 and confirm that this really does work. If your teacher doesn't give in, take it to the Principal yourself and assert yourself in a polite manner.
It's worth remembering that teachers generally expect this sort of thing from boys more than girls because, as a sweeping generalisation, boys are more willing to stick up for themselves. Get into a mindset where you have absolute conviction in what you are saying before taking this to your principal. Take a deep breath and be firmand calm before you talk to him/her. Then throw their own book at them.
If this doesn't work then hell yeah bring on the parents. I also found that writing a thinly veiled pithy article in any school paper available to you about whether the letter of school rules really matter to the faculty and hence whether they should matter to the students, will at least get the issue discussed. If you word this well they can't touch you.
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You can take it to the principal, but most likely the support will be for the teachers. There is a difference between hanging out in a semi-private area where you can have a mini-makeout session (I'm sure it has been done for years in stairwells everywhere) and just holding hands on the way to class or a quick hug (as long as it is not full body hugging) in open view.
School administration backed by parental support is generally going to limit relationship physical contact because of the obvious reasons: It is distracting to those involved and others. There are safety issues involved and some schools have had problems with sexual violence. Schools do not want to become liable and get into trouble when a parent finds out their kid was making out at school. Tax- payers enable you to have the right to an education, not a right to a social life.
I know this sounds like a lot of drama over a hug, and I agree. Some teachers can act like jerks, but many are just experienced with this scenario and know how quickly a small thing can lead to a big thing, particularly if it goes unmentioned. Boundaries can be crossed in baby steps and they want to avoid that BEFORE it happens, that is why they feel the need to act quickly and harshly in the beginning. It may not be fair, but people will judge us by appearances to some degree, because that is all they have to go on. We believe what we perceive, and every view is limited, so every personal truth is limited.
The fourth period teacher who "got on to you" was reacting in response to the entirety of the situation and not just the hand-holding. If the policy book states that you can hold hands, then make sure you do so outside of class, and that you don't give anyone reason to think it is going beyond the hand-holding.
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do you happen to go to a christian school?
i went to a school like that...and they believed that the man should just not touch the woman because it provoked terrible things and basically we'd go to hell for it. haha
as long as your not breaking the rules i dont see the problem. and if they do write you up and you wanna fight it. get ur rule book they give u at the beginning of the year, highlight the rule, and take it to a higher authority
:)
thats what id do
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