jbdreamer's advice column | Page 45

home view feedback ask questions add as friend advicenators

Gender:

Female

Location:

Minneapolis, Minnesota

Occupation:

Graphic Designer

Age:

31

Member Since:

February 24, 2004

Answers:

1109

Last Update:

April 24, 2012

Visitors:

88838

Favorite Columnists

storageanddisposal

advicenator_admin

Main Categories:

about

MY SLOGAN: TREAT YOURSELF!

Hi my name is Jen - I am 33 and married; a graphic desinger, a big sister, movie lover, horse rider, and board game nerd.

advice

Hey,

My names Dawn and im 15

I live in New York

ive never had a boyfriend, and ive fallen in love with this dude online

He's names Mark and he lives in Cali, he's 17

We talk on the phone all the time

and we are kinda bf and gf

but lately ive had second thoughts, i mean he does live like really far away, BUT I STILL LOVE HIM

should i break up with him? or what??????

PLEASE HELP ME~!!!

Seeing that you have never meet eachother, I wouldn't exactly say you are bf & gf. For now just be his friend, and countinue talking, but don't stop yourself from getting out and interacting with boys that are actually where you are.

Could you get pregnant if you have unprotected sex in a hut tub? And wouldn't a condom slip off in the water? PlEaZe WrIte BaCK AuDREY!

Yes to everyting cr8zymonkeyluv07 said below.

Also if you are looking to get a bacterial infecion hot tubs are the perfect place. It's full of all kinds of bacteria. With all that water pumped inside you, you are bound to get a yeast infection. Have fun!

i babysit for this young couple, and they have 2 kids, the guy is like 21 and he is sooooooooo cute, and ive become friends with him, and the other night we were talking and he leaned in to kiss me, so we kissed and then he like got up and said it was time he took me home, he isnt happily married, he only married her cuz she was pregnant and i have a crush on him, im 17 by the way, what should i do???????......Alisha

Stop babybsitting for them. He is hitting on the babysiter and he is married! He is not a good guy if he is cheating on his wife, nor does he sound very responsible. I don't care if you think he is cute, what you did was wrong. Even if he made the first move, you should have said no. Don't let things get any further, stop babysiting for them.

hey i've been dating my bf for about 2 weeks now and i really like him a lot and he says he really likes me and i believe him cuase not all guys tlel there friends that there girl is one in a million well anyways i like him a lot but it doesnt seem like he knows wat he wants like around a certain group of people he cant be al touchy wit me like usual...like in school wen he walks up to me he just says hi and talks to me but wen hes about to leave he hugs and kisses me ...how can i make him like hug and kiss me wen he sees me ..."????? 15/f

Give him sometime, you have only been going out for 2 weeks. That's nothing. And why does he need to make the first move? Next time you see him, greet him with a kiss on the cheek.

Okay here goes....
I have just began my 4 year couse at a techer trainee institution, in which i was the class representative. Eventually i resigned after i knew that some people were talking behind my back. So another girl(age 24 & married) took over. Despite her effort, a group of older students in our same class is bad mouthing her in my presence. Not being assertive enough i did'nt pay attention, but when i saw that the present representative noticed, i told her about it and later on she said out loud that she has noticed that some of her 'friends' is badmouthing her but did'nt mention my name.Now Judy ; one of the girl in my class is not talking to me even if Laura did'nt mention any names.What shld i do?

Firstly if you plan on being a teacher, I suggest that you work on your grammar and spelling.

Your class sounds as if your all still in high school. Your are an adult now, so start acting like one. Stand up for yourself, or ignore the immature children that choose to gossip about one another. They are not worth the drama.

i have been together with my boyfriend for over two years but lately when he sleeps over in week-ends his cell phone rings up late at night...very late at night and when i picked it up the person hangs up.he denied knowing who is the caller, But yesterday he confessed that he knew who was calling and admitted to have been flirting aroundwith his friend's girlfriend.He says that it is partly my fault since he started to flirt with this girl only at the begining of this year after i had a one night stand in December.What should i do?I need advice.I do not want to leave him.

There is no excuse for cheating. He can't blame you for his flriting, even if you did cheat on him first. You both need to sit down and decide what you want out of this reationship. If you both can't be honest to eachother, I think it's time you move on.

17/f
Hey!
oookkk i need major advice lol cause my friends def. dont give me any. i really like this guy, but he does a lot of stuff i dont like. he smokes a lot, drinks to much (i like to drink but he drinks all the time) and hes just kinda known as a "bad boy". a lot of people tell me i could do a lot better. he gets into trouble a lot and starts fights with people, but im really comfortable with him and i like the way he makes me feel. i dont know what balances out more or if its worth going through stuff he does... and if i should keep being with him cause i really like him but i really dont wanna get stuck in his drama and the stuff he does. i dont want to lead him on either... so if i should get away from him i need to. hes a really nice guy and he has a lot of friends and i know he would never hurt me... but the things he does really bothers me... and i dont like to see him get hurt or get in fights. I NEED MAJOR ADVICE!!!
-kelly

You say that he is a really nice guy and has lots of friends, yet you also say a lot of people don't like him, and he is a "bad boy" always getting in trouble. It sounds as if you are confused as to who he really is. Since your only 17 I would say take a break from this guy. Get out and date more people and see what other kind of realationships you could have. Why stick it out with this guy if your not truely happy. Unless you think this is the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with, I think you should move on and see what else life can bring you. You are too young to settle for some "kinda nice somethimes" guy.

i go to winnfield middle school and we have school uniforms and i started a petition to get rid of them. so i had alot of names until the principal caught me and said she didn't authorize it. how can i get rid of uniforms without having to get it authorized. i thought about gettin people to sign it off of school grounds.

p.s. if anybody here goes to winnfield middle school e-mail me at edt_09@yahoo.com

Every year more and more schools are requiring school uniforms. Research shows that children have been more focused in classes in the schools with uniforms. It also can be cost efficient for parents, they don't to buy a big of wardrobe for their children. The chances of your school dropping the uniform police is slim to none.

Even if you wanted to do anything about it, what you are doing will result in nothing. What the students want means very little. And you can't just go to your school to complain. Most likely they can't do anything about. You need to go through the district, and talk to school officals. You also need valid reasons to have a policy changed. How will it improve school enviroment, and student moral, ext...

If your serious, and have real valid reasons to change the school uniform policy, start by writting a letter to the school distric with those reasons and ask if there is a chance you could at least disscuse the issue.

ok how do i get bigger boobs without having a boob job? i hwear a size 36A and im 13 but my my freshman yeari wantr at least a 38A or 40A so can someone please help me?? how do i get bigger boobs!!!!WITHOUT HAVING A BOOB JOB

I think you need to re-educate yourself on bra sizes. All you have to do to become a 38A or 40A is gain weight, lol. If you want bigger boobs, that would be your cup size, A, B, C, D...
So you really must want to be a 36B?

Give yourself some time. Your only 13 (almost 14) so you have some devloping still ahead of you. A lot of girls develop into their late teens and even early 20's. And even if you wanted a boob job, I doubt you could find a doctor to give you one this young, simply because you could still be developing.

Besides having smaller boobs in better in the long run. They won't give you back problems, and they won't sag when you get old.

well here it goes ,,,,i ha ve this friend and she likes my boyfriend i'm about to break up with him so when i do should i try to hook them up or just really let them be.... but she it my best friend what should i do.

I would stay out of it. Your the ex-girlfriend, don't get involved with their relationship. If they want to get together they can do it on their own.

I have been beging for an earing for about 3 years now. im 14 and in 8th grade i reall really want it but there is just no way that i can convince my parents i dont know what to do please someone help me in ways to convince them ive tried school grades are good chores for free and even going shopping for them once in awhile i dont know what to do anymore.....

Stop begging, they are just going to continue to say no. Have you asked them when they think you will be old enough? Ask them their reasons why they won't allow it. Maybe you and your parents can compromise for when the time is right. Remind them that you are getting old enough to make responsible decisions and that getting an earring will not change who you are. It's just a fashion statement.

I've been trying to convince my parents to get me a cell phone forever. I've tried the "everybody has one" method and the "reasons I need one" method but they wont crack. How do I convince them to let me get one? I have my reasons(good ones too) for needing one.

Thanks 4 the help

Do you realise how expensive cell phones are. Even for a cheap plan it's $25 a month after fees and taxes. So your asking them to spend $300 or more a year so you can have a cell phone.

Do you really need one that bad? Are you willing to spend $300 for a phone? If so, you should consider paying for it yourself; or at least try and make a deal with your parents and see if you can both put money towards a phone.

If you want something in life you have to work for it.

I am a singer. I like to sing R&B music. The only thing is that I live in Virginia and don't get a lot of exposure out here. And sometimes, I don't think I can sing, but I know a lot of singer have bad days. I would like to get some exposure and everything, but I don't know how. Someone please help me here. I love to sing, but sometimes when I hear other people, I lack self-confidence.

Singing is one of the hardest professions in the world. If your not confident in yourself your are never going to make it. And you also have to be able to take a lot of critisim. So you really need to beleive in yourself carry on.

Get yourself an agent if you are looking for exposure. They can help you book gigs and hopfuly find you a record contract. If you are really serious, think about moving to NY or LA were there are more opportuities.

I wish you luck and hope you can find your confidence and drive to be able to succeed.

will jumping on a big trampoline help me to lose weight????

Any exsercise is better than no excercise.
Every little bit helps.

I rent in california, and was looking to buy some property in Nevada to rent out. I spend quite a bit of time there through out the year. Can I claim residence in Nevada for tax purposes?

As long as you have an adress you should be able to claim residence. But you can only hold residence in one state, so you would no longer have recidence in California. Go to the local DMV. They should be able to answer your questions.

yesterday i was at my parents house because my dad was fixing my car. well my boyfriend went home for lunch, which is about two minutes from my parents house. he calls me and asks how my car is coming. i tell him that my dad is still working on it, because i was going to surprise him that it was finished. he says he is going to eat something and go to the bathroom, then he would go to my moms and see me. the night before we had watched scary movie part 3 and pamela andersons boobs are popping out of her shirt. these kinds of things in movies upset me and he knows it. well i head to our house, i open the door and what i see shocks me! he has a sock on his penis and is getting off to pam, the same movie that we had seen together the other night. i feel betrayed and i feel like he has hid this from me, what else? i have asked him before if he had done this and he said no. i lost his trust. am i overreacting? whos right here? and what should i do? we have a baby and i am pregnant and 19. PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So what, you caught him. Big deal! Most guys do it, as well as a lot of women even if they are in healthy relationships. Don't be so hard on him. It's human nature. Personally I would apologize for getting so mad.

i really want a boyfriend i cant stand it..all the boys think im ugly and fat andi only weigh 126 and im 13 in 8th grade.. i just cant seen to find a bf i need help

126? I wouldn't call that fat! Don't be so hard on yourself.

And why do you need a boyfriend so badly??

Give yourself some time, your only 13. Your not going to find the right guy by going out with anyone just so you can have a boyfriend. The best guys come around when you least expect it. Wait for a boy that you like, and have something in common with rather than just a boy.

hey! well there's this guy. he likes me and im not sure if i like him! he asked me to the dance and i think im gonna go w/ him as friends but im not sure if i want to dance with him.. wouldnt that be ackward? what would YOU do??

from: not sure

p.s- i have never had a bf b4 cuz i dont want 1 and have never danced w/ a guy! so it would be a new experience!

New experiences is what life is all about. You are going to a dance, so there is no reason for it to be akward to dance with the person you came with. And just because you are going to a dance with a boy, it doesn't make him your boyfriend. If your nervous because you have never danced before, ask your mom or dad for a few tips. I am sure many of the people going are in the same position. Go have fun, and dance the night away!

i have been with my bf for 4 & a half years and we have a baby together. our whole relationship has been a lot of fighting. he gets so jealous and he will rip my clothes, sometimes hit, and he calls me a bitch and a slut when he is pissed off. i am 20 and he is 22. i feel i am too young to deal with all of this, even though we have our good times. i have attempted to leave him several times but am scared of change and i never go through with it. he will also put me down in front of our friends and family to make himself look good. should i finally just give up or should i stick with it for my son? and if i do decide to leave how do i do it?

Your boyfriend is abusive and it is time for you to leave. It will only get worse as time goes on, and it will be harder to leave the longer you stay. Don't stay in a bad relationship for the sake of the child. Children are very observent. They would rather have happily seperated parents rather than unhappy arguing parents.

Don't be scared of change, it can be a good thing. Look to your friends and family for support in helping you to become an independant woman. I am sure they would be happy to help you leave this abusive relationship. Stay with them while you get and appartment set for yourself.

Be brave, you need get out of this relationship before you, or your son really gets hurt.

My boyfriend and I have been talking about getting married and I am fine with that. I actually can not wait. He is my world. The thing is that I want to get my mom's wedding band and engagement ring. My aunt has both of them because my mom passed away. I live to far from her to ask her in person. So I wrote her a letter asking her for the rings. She promised I would get them when I graduated and well, I graduated 2 years ago. I have let it be until now and i do not think she will give them to me. She knows how I feel about getting them and what not. Do you think that she will send them to me?

Give your aunt the benefit of doubt. Maybe she just forgot to send them to you after you graduated. Have you asked her about the rings since you wrote the letter? That was over two years ago... it easily could have been forgotten. Now that you are getting married, it might be a good time to call her up and tell her the good news, and remind her of the rings. Let her know how much they would mean to you if they were now your wedding rings.

<<< Previous Advice Column

Next Advice Column >>>