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SHOULD I STAY WITH MY BABY'S DAD?
i have been with my bf for 4 & a half years and we have a baby together. our whole relationship has been a lot of fighting. he gets so jealous and he will rip my clothes, sometimes hit, and he calls me a bitch and a slut when he is pissed off. i am 20 and he is 22. i feel i am too young to deal with all of this, even though we have our good times. i have attempted to leave him several times but am scared of change and i never go through with it. he will also put me down in front of our friends and family to make himself look good. should i finally just give up or should i stick with it for my son? and if i do decide to leave how do i do it?
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Okay. If he hits you, then you def. need to get out of the relationship and talk to someone that can help you if you are scared of leaving him. (The police for one) Calling you all of those names can cause you emotional stress...and you don't need any of that. You have a baby to take care of. Change is going to happen to you sooner or later...for better or for worse. If you want "change" for the better, you will get help and leave him. For worse, stay with him and let him continue the abuse until it's too late.
PLEASE read this and take it into consideration.
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leave him he i feel like one day he is going to heart you real bad you need to leave him he is know good.
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i know im yonge(6th grade) but i still thinku should just go w/ ur heart and break^ w/ him
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First of all what kind of friends or family let someone put you down in front of them? LEAVE HIM! He doesn't deserve you or your baby. You shouldn't, no, you don't have to put up with crap like that! You should have left a long time ago. Go to a family members house and stay if you live with him. If he won't leave you alone file a PFA(Protection From Abuse) order against him. If he came near you the police could arrest him. You ask if you should stay with him for the baby's sake. The baby's sake is exactly why you should leave. You don't want the child growing up in an environment where mommy is getting beat on by daddy! Do what's right. For you and your child!
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girl: if you go through that most of the time you should just leave and that thing about sticking with it just for your son, thats an excuse. staying will only make it worse. if you stay and when your child gets older he will start to cry and might become a bad child from all the fighting. you don't want him to runaway or nothing like that when he gets older so i suggest to you that you leave him cause its not worth it. its really not. he doesn't love you he was just in it for the sex.
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Let me tell you something....I have been there. I know that in your heart you love this man, and you probaly can't see yourself living without him, but you have decide if you want to continue looking and feeling like a fool.
This man sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do, I'm pretty sure you have heard this before, and he is insecure about himself, therfore, he is just trying to make you feel like you are less of a woman, because he knows that he is not fully equipped to a real man.
You have to stop thinking that you are stuck! You don't have to feel desperate for a man to love you,(I'm speaking from personal experience).
He is jealous of you because he knows that you are a real woman taking care of business and he knows that you are a good catch for another man; that is why he constantly degrades you to make you feel unattractive.
Go get your nails done, get your hair done, take a course. Do something that will get your mind off of him, at least for a few hours out of the day. Consume yourself with making a better you and gaining some self-esteem so that you won't feel obligated to accept this trash off of this guy.
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOURSELF FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!
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If he hits you, calls you names, puts you down, and destroys your property, he is abusive. You should not stay with him. It will not do your son any good at all to continue in this relationship, watching his father treat his mother like this.
The best way to leave depends on your situation. I would call a women's abuse hotline or shelter, usually found in the front of the phone book. Explain your situation to them and they can give you better advice. Some situations are more dangerous than others. Sometimes leaving can make the abuse worse, expecially if he is the type to stalk. In the worst situation, you may need to go to a shelter and possibly get the police involved. But if it doesn't seem to be that serious, they can at least give you advice on how to do it. There are steps to take and guidelines.
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Hello.
You seem to be in a very sticky situation. You seem to really love this person very much, and if he does love you, he obviously doesn't give you the type of love you need all the time. Of course before you break this up you should try talking in a civilized manor to try to tell him how you feel. If he cares, of course he'll listen. If he doesn't, you really need to consider your options. If he will let you leave without physical harm to you or your son, it may be something to really consider. You need to think of your son having a male role model like your boyfriend as well. Do you really want him to live in an environment were verbal and physical abuse is normal and women are degraded on a daily basis? If there is no change, things are obviously going in the wrong direction. If he is willing and ready to make things better, there is counciling to consider, but this also costs money. If you cannot leave without risking physical harm, I suggest you call a Domestic Violence Hotline for assistence. You may look these numbers up right from your computer.
Best of luck to you and your son.
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Just leave with your son. So he won't hurt your son or you.
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This is a tough decision that only you can make for yourself. Its a tough spot and theres a fine line between needing to work hard to make things work and where there is just no hope for the relationship.
From what you have told me - its not worth your anguish and upset to be with this guy. The fact that you are expressing such a question kinda gives me the indication that you've already made up your mind that you want out of the relationship, but would really like some assurance that its a good idea.
Your son should not grow up in a family where the mother is put down by the father constantly, or told she is not good enough. This will become second nature to your son and he may grow up with the idea that that sort of thing is okay because nothing was done about the situation.
You are clearly not happy. In my opinion you shouldnt stay with anyone who you dont feel safe to even be around.
Your son will be fine so long as he knows he is loved and sees both his father and mother.
You deserve much better. You dont have to put up with that in your life and no one should ever have to be put down. No one has the right to do that. That kind of behaviour makes me believe that this guy might have a negative effect on his son if he were living with him. He may do the same to your son or he may teach your son that its okay to do that to others.
Its not. So do the world a huge favour and instill in your son the idea that putting other people down and treating them like they arent worth anything is wrong and that he should never ever treat someone like that.
I hope that you will decide to leave for sure this time. Dont be afraid of change - think of what your life could be like without being told you arent good enough and imagine the men out there that could treat you right. Get out of there, you are worth so much more than that.
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You are young and regaurdless of age, no one deserves to be treated that way. It's good to have a son be with his father, but it's not worth it. What if the child, when he grows older, sees his father hit his mother and call her a bitch and a slut? What kind of example would that set. Even if he only hits you sometimes, you still run the chance of being hurt, or your child seeing it. Everyone is afraid of change, but you have to do what's best for the child. If he keeps hitting you, you have to leave him. As to how, I'm not sure? Do you have friends or relatives that would let you stay with them until you get everything together? If you decide to leave, you might not want to give him much notice. The more time he has to think, the angrier he may get. If you do decide to leave, don't let him change your mind.
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Your boyfriend is abusive and it is time for you to leave. It will only get worse as time goes on, and it will be harder to leave the longer you stay. Don't stay in a bad relationship for the sake of the child. Children are very observent. They would rather have happily seperated parents rather than unhappy arguing parents.
Don't be scared of change, it can be a good thing. Look to your friends and family for support in helping you to become an independant woman. I am sure they would be happy to help you leave this abusive relationship. Stay with them while you get and appartment set for yourself.
Be brave, you need get out of this relationship before you, or your son really gets hurt.
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