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abortion; go through with it or not?
i am 19. i am in a 5 year relationship and we have a one year old son together. i am going to college to be a nurse. lately there have been a lot of problems between my b/f and i. well i was going to move out, until i found out that i am pregnant. now i have cancelled my new apartment and am staying here for now. i know that we will not be together forever and i do not want to raise two kids alone. i am considering abortion and have an appointment scheduled for next friday. my b/f wants the baby and is excited. everyone in our family already knows that we are expecting again. i am too young to give up my life completely. i do not know what to do. if anyone has any advice i would really appreciate it. by the way, i am 8 weeks pregnant and due on christmas. PLEASE HELP
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It all goes back to your deep-inside feelings.
It's how you feel about it, if your okay with doing it and you wont regret it then go for it no matter what people tell you.
Its your life and guilt, no theres.
Think wisely about how you going to feel after the abortion. Yes, I have to admit he sucks but you have to suck it up.
Good Luck =]
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well if u didnt alreadi kno u cant get an abortion after bein 8 weeks preg. i think. my aunt had one and they told her if she was 8 weeks preg. then they couldnt do it. Go with whatever your heart tells you even tho ur head and ur heart r prolly tellin u two differnt things go wit wut u think is tha best. hope i could help! =] if u needa talk more leave one in my inbox!
xo`amanda
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Abortion? Are you freakin crazy!! dont do anything like that!! Give birth to the baby! its your fault in the 1st place! you cant just go and kill a baby!! what if your mother did that to yoU!? i dont think you would like that 1 bit and what would you honestly do without your 1 yr old son? think about it your going to love the baby unconditionaly and try and work things out with you and your bf... you cant just throw 5 yrs down the drain but put the baby up for adoption!!!-trix
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Okay, you already have a 1 year old son, why not have your other child as well. If you do not want the baby, you and your boyfriend should talk. If he is very excited and wants it and you do not want to be with him anylonger, give custody of your children to him if he wants so you guys can live your lives. If not, their is always teh option of adoption. Please do not have an abortion, every child deserves a chance to live and to be raised by parents who love them, even if its not biologicaly. So just sit down with your boyfriend and talk to him, tell him exactly how you feel and you too will figure something out together adn that will be a decision you both made because even though you are the one giving birth to the child, you are both its parents and both have a say in what the babys fate is. He has to take responsibility as the childs father and you as the childs mother also have to take responsibility.
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alright, i am personly hate thet thought of abortion bekuz i was abopted at a young age N i always think of how i would never be in the world if my birth mom took that way out, i think u should try to work things out wit your boyfriend and maybe you guys are just having some problems that can be fixed, i would advise u do try to work it out and if it dosent u dont have to have an abortion there are may abouption places and if you want you can help find a home for yur baby N keep in touch or let them do what they think is best, i really hope i helped!! i think you should even try to have a tlak wit your family and remember DONT EVER GIVE UP YOUR DREAM! soo no matter what i want u to still go to college to be a nurse.
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As I'm sure you already know, an unplanned pregnancy is a huge and scary thing. Your emotions are probably out of whack and between your feelings and everyone else's you're probably feeling very confused.
What you need to do is stop and think about what's best for YOU. You have already stated that your relationship is currently on the rocks, do you really want to bring another child into your life while already facing the possibility of being a single mother of one?
It all depends on what YOU know you can handle. If you think you can raise two children on your own and be happy then keep the baby. If you don't, then there are other options available to you such as abortion and adoption.
I suggest you research your options very thoroughly before setting your decision in stone. And please make sure that the decision you make is the decision that is best for you and the son you already have.
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don't give the baby to him keep the baby brake up with him it's the best thing to do you'll find that special someone who'll help you raise your kid
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I'm glad you have so much ambition. It's great. Unfortunately, you seem to be stuck in a rather nasty situation. Have you told your boyfriend what you're telling us, minus the age and the relationship length, of course?
How can you be certain that you won't be together forever? I can understand your not wanting to raise two kids alone. I can't even imagine raising one kid alone. I know kids can be a handful. I hear my mom complaining about me all the time. Lol
Anyway, the abortion or not is ultimately your choice. You do need to tell your boyfriend what's on your mind, though, if you haven't. So good luck with that, and with everything else. I hope it all goes well!
-Siren
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Not everybody regrets having had an abortion.
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I was 16 when I had my son, who is now 13. Don't give up on life no matter what. First and foremost you have to be there for the child that you already have. As far as having an abortion, that is a decision that you have to make on your own. What you should really be asking yourself is if you see yourself with this man 5 years from now and if you love him unconditionally, and if he feel the same way about you.
Sometimes as women we become overwhelmed with major responsibilites and we feel alone in everything that we try to do. Tell your boyfriend that you both need to have a date together and talk about where the realtionship is going. If he shy's away from you and does not want to participate in trying to make things work, then maybe he just does not take having a realtionship with you seriously.
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Your situation is extremely complicated. You seem like a young, ambitious person who wants to make something for herself. At the same time, there is the unbelievable responsibility of caring for a child. Certainly, raising two young children by yourself with the added pressure of lectures and exams are a great deal to ask anyone.
Ultimately, it is you decision (I guess that's why they call it "pro-choice"). I will say that your options are not entirely set in stone. There is always the option of adoption, which would provide a home for your future child and prevent you from taking care of two children. I will tell you my religious convictions put me in the pro-life camp, but I am reasonable enough to see your argument and don't see a reason to convince you out otherwise.
However, whether or not you decide to have the child, do not stay together with your current boyfriend if you know that any chance of reconciliation with him is impossible. Too many bad relationships stay together, "just for the kids." In my opinion, it does more damage that good. And imagine, all that anger and fighting among the parents might hurt that child's perception on what a loving family ought to be.
I hope you come to a decision you can be happy with. Journaling, meditation, prayer, talking to a counselor, might all be things that might make your decision easier.
Good luck.
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You need to think this over. Is this the right descision for you? If the baby comes, and you and you bf are split up, is the baby going to have a happy life? From what you wrote, I would go through with the abortion, but I don't know enough details. Think it over carefully, is the one thing I can tell you.
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Hello.
A very nasty situation, especially since you and your partner no longer have strong ties and you have ambitions for the future. I have to say abortion would be a possibility, as you want to start school and this will take up much of your time and you already have a young son to think about. I understand you want to concentrate on schooling so you may be financially stable as you begin a new life without your partner, but you also need to consider the emotional toll this may take on you. There are going to be a lot of unsettled thaughts in your head, and you have your morals to consider. Try to remember that you also want to be strong and emotionally stable for your son. I also suggest that if you do go through with this that you have some abortion counciling. In most cases the abortion clinics will provide this free of charge.
All the luck in the world to you.
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This is a huge decision for you, clearly and a decision that has to be made with 3 people in mind. First and most important is yourself - will you be able to have (physically) another child? Is it going to kill you (stress wise, or even the labour itself), will you be able to go back into college later to become a nurse (good for you by the way)? Second is the baby's father. Will it really crush him to not have this baby? Is he taking your needs into account before deciding what he wants? Has he asked you if you have doubts about having the baby? Will he be willing to care for the baby a lot and take on the responsibility and support you greatly? Will he respect your wishes should you decide on abortion?
Next is your baby. This is very hard and I'm really sorry that I even have to mention this. Its hard enough as it is. But... would this baby be better off not coming into the world? (would it be neglected for time because of yours and your boyfriends responsibilities - and not really 'neglect' but would it really get the large amount of attention it really needs)
Should you choose to have the baby, there are always way to manage going to school. I hope that you decide this based on your own wishes and make sure you take into account the feelings of your boyfriend too. Dont worry about the feelings of your family really, because what is important now is your own health and the health of that new life.
If you find that you are leaning more towards having an abortion, then make damned sure you go over every reason as to why and be incredibly sure this is what you want because after its done well - then its done. It may be something you regret for a very long (I'm sorry I'm not trying to depress you or something, just honesty and all) and you may feel later that you should have had the baby.
Talk to your boyfriend and get his input BUT remember, having another little one might not be as bad as you forsee and one day it might be the best thing in your life. The truth is you never really know, so make sure you think about this and are very sure about what you'd like to do.
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One kid can be a handful, if you had another one, they may take up every ounce of your time. But you need to decide what's best for you, and whether or not you can live with getting an abortion. consider your family's and your boyfriend's opinion, but your the one who has to live with it. If you think having another child means you'll have to give up on life, then get the abortion. This coming from someone who is against abortions most of the time. If you and your boyfriend are having problems, and you were going to move out, then maybe you should. If you know you won't be together forever, then you may want to get out now. It will be harder later, especially for your son.
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