The premise of my column is speak in depth and answer questions that many men and women have. No topic is to large or to small. I want people from all racial make-up, gender, and from alternative live styles to open up and express your deepest concerns.
I beleive that if one person is searching for an answer to a question that has been bugging them; there are probably 100 more out there who want the answer to the same question.
I want my column to discuss all areas of your life-from your day-to-day concerns to your deepest darkest secrets.
I want to be your best cyberspace friend. I won't judge you.
Keep in mind that I can't see you, so feel free to Just Open Up!
Member Since: May 16, 2004
Answers: 21
Last Update: August 23, 2007
Visitors: 3122
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14/f
5'6"
123 pounds
alright so i used to be able to fight off all my craving but then i went to my dads house and ate like a disgusting pig. i lost like 7 pounds this summer and then i gained like two back. so how do i fight off cravings? (link)
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I would suggest that when you get cravings that are not healty, leave the house and take a walk to get your mind off of the food. Try to spend more time with your friends or engage in after-school activites or get a job, and not at a fast food restaraunt.
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im nearly 16 and my penis is quite small and when i masturbate it takes a few minutes for my penis to get hard is this normal? and will it get bigger? (link)
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I would first like to tell you that I am not a Dr., but because I do have a teengae son myself, I can relate to your concerns. At your age you still have some growing to do and your penis size may increase in size, but if it does not grow as long as you would like, don't panic because it is not the end of the world. Hopefully, you have decided to obstain from sex before you are responsible enough handle the emotions that go along with premarital sex, but If you are sexually active, find a female that is willing to help you work with what you have. Masturbating is ok and if I were you I would not set a time limit on how fast you should get hard. If this is bothering you to the extreme try visualizing someone that turns you on.
I hope I answered your question>
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My husband claims that he was physically and mentally abused by his alcoholic father while growing up. His mother and siblings claim that he is exaggerating, not one of them agree with his version. They say, in fact, that he was the one who got the most attention from the father because he was the star athlete of the family. My husband has turned out to be a very irresponsible adult, making compulsive decisions, always leading to disaster, we are financially ruined because of his get rich quick schemes, his gambling, bad business ventures, running up credit cards and bills he never intended to pay. He acts like a selfish, spoiled child, and often throws "adult" tantrums when he doesnt get his own way. He is selfish with his time, money, and belongings. Thinks of himself before his own kids. Has ignored his kids most of their life, because he would rather sit inside staring at sports games on television. Everything in his life is "all about him" He does not socialize, he has no male friends. He doesnt communicate with his family hardly ever. He has the worst habit of lieing I have ever seen on a grown up, everytime he is caught doing something he shouldnt, he lies and then covers up those lies with more lies, over and over. No matter how many times he is caught lieing, he continues to do it anyway. He lies over money, gambling, his job, situations that happen, its horrible. Does this sound like a man who was abused as a child, or does this fit the description of a man who was spoiled as a child and given privledges he didnt earn or deserve ? Im trying to see who is lieing , him or his family. He has hit rock bottom, as far as financially ruining us, his kids dont speak to him anymore, he doesnt live in our home any longer, he is just now claiming abuse, after 20 years of marriage to this man, he has never once mentioned abuse as a child. He even went as far as to go to the doctor for anti-depressants, they put him on Lexapro which is for severe depression, and he is seeing a phycotherapists. Is this just one big lie he is trying to pull off, or does he shows symptoms of abuse? The medication is making him even more distant and zombie like than he was in the first place. Normally he doesnt talk , he is silent no matter who is in the room or who comes over for parties or families gatherings, he seems incapable of striking up a conversation with anyone, unless it is a joke he heard, or sports related. Other than that, he is silent all the time. Now he's even worse. Im wondering if the medication is back firing, because he never needed it in the first place. Let me know what you think of all this. Thank you. (link)
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AS A WOMAN MYSELF, I AM TO ADMIT THAT WE OFTEN IGNORE OUR WOMANLY INSTINCTS AND HAVE A TENDENCY TO IGNORE THE TRUTH. THE TRUTH BEING THAT YOU DID NOT JUST FIGURE OUT THAT YOUR HUSBAND OF 20 YEARS WAS THE WAY THAT HE IS. BASED ON WHAT YOU HAVE MENTIONED, YOUR HUSBANDS SEEMS TO BE CONFUSED WITH WHAT THE ROLE OF A HUSBAND AND FATHER IS. FRANKLY, I THINK MOST MEN ARE AFRAID UP "STEPPING UP" TO THE PLATE. IT TAKES EFFORT TO CONTRIBUTE AND SACRAFICE FOR THE SAKE OF MAINTAING A HEALTHY BOND BETWEEN YOUR WIFE AND KIDS, AND IN YOUR HUSBAND'S CASE HE IS LACKING. YOUR HUSBAND IS SELFISH AND LIKE THE OLD SAYING IS..."YOU CAN'T TREAT AN OLD DOG NEW TRICK". IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO START WORRYING ABOUT YOU! YOU HAVE DONE WHAT YOU CAN, AND IT IS OBVIOUS THAT YOUR HUSBAND DOES NOT GIVE A DARN AS TO WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH.
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i have a pet pig named miss piggy but my mom says i can't keep it in the house anymore but i don't want to leave it outside. what should i do?
(link)
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I THINK YOU SHOULD TALK TO YOUR MOM ABOUT HOW TO CARE FOR YOUR PIG WITOUT HAVING HIM IN THE HOUSE. MAYBE YOU COULD BUILD HIM A PIG HOUSE, ALMOST LIKE A DOG HOUSE.
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Just curious, what counts more, width or lenghth. (link)
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IT WOULD BE NICE TO GET AN EQUAL AMOUNT OF BOTH, BUT AS WE BOTH PROBABLY KNOW, WE PROBABLY GET SHORTED ON ONE OR THE OTHER, OR LORD FORBID BOTH. BUT SERIOUSLY, IF YOU HAVE A GUY THAT IS LACKING AND YOU KNOW THAT HE IS CLEAN AND NOT HIV+, YOU MIGHT WANT TO SEE IF HE IS INTO ORAL SEX, WHICH CAN BE GREAT. ALSO, DON'T BLOW THE GUY OFF JUST BECAUSE HE IS LACKING IN THE WIDTH AND LENTH DEPARTMENT. IF HE IS GOOD TO YOU AND TREATING YOU LIKE A WOMAN KEEP HIM, BECAUSE IT IS HARD TO FIND A GOOOOOD MAN THESE DAYS.
(I AM JUST GOING TO ASSUME THAT YOU ARE A WOMAN ASKING THIS QUESTION)
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Ok I'm 14 years old and in the 8th grade I wear a 32A. My mom said her boobs stoped growing in the 8th grade so do u think mine will grow anymore? (link)
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YOU MAY STILL HAVE A CHANCE OF DEVELOPING BIGGER BREASTS', BUT IF YOU DON'T, DON'T CONSIDER IT THE END OF THE WORLD. YOU CAN ALWAYS GET A PUSH-UP BRA.
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My BEST FRIEND is dick wooped. (dick wooped means she does anything for him). she says she isn't but i think she knows she is. it bothers me because she does anything for him and she is such a great person and he takes advatage of her. he is her ex-boyfriend. i tell her and she says she doesn't like him and doesn't do what-ever he says. i need help trying to talk to her about it. (it's so bad that the other day we went to the water park and she wouldn't go on the slide with me because she was waiting for him) it really sux!! pleaze help asap!!!
(link)
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YOU KNOW WHAT, THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO GET YOUR FRIEND OUT OF HER "DICK WOOPED" ADDICTION. UNFORTUNATELY, WHEN WOMEN ARE INTO THEIR MEN THE WAY YOU SAY YOUR FRIEND IS IN TO HER EX-BOYFRIEND, ALL YOU CAN DO IS SAY A FEW WORDS TO HOPEFULLY ENCOURAGE HER TO LEAVE. IF THAT DOESN'T WORK I WOULD LET HER LIVE HER LIFE MAKING A FOOL OF HERSELF. IF YOU TRY TO CONVINCE HER TO MUCH, SHE WILL START TO THINK THAT YOU ARE JEALOUS AND THEN YOU'LL HAVE TO DEAL WITH A WHOLE NEW SET OF FEELINGS. WE ALL GO THROUGH OUR PHASE OF BEING STUPID OVER SOME GUY AND IT IS JUST YOUR FRIENDS TURN. WHEN SHE IS TIRED OF BEING TREATED LIKE CRAP SHE WILL LEAVE HIM ALONE. JUST BE READY TO GIVE HER A SHOULDER TO LEAN ON, AND DON'T GIVE HER THE "I TOLD YOU SO SPEECH". JUST BE HER FRIEND LIKE YOU SAY YOU ARE.
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I wanna go get my tongue pierced but im scared that its going to hurt real bad..is it going to hurt??? what does it feel like??? Im 19 but another thing is if my mom finds out she'll be really really really upset and mad at me and i think i might be kicked out of the house...is there anyway i could hide it from her????? PLEASE HELP FAST!!!! (link)
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I KNOW YOU ARE YOUNG AND JUST TRYING TO DO WHAT YOUR PEERS AND YOURSELF THING IS THE "IN" THING TO DO RIGHT NOW, BUT I WANT YOU TO SERIOUSLY THINK ABOUT WHAT A TONGUE RING WILL LOOK LIKE WHEN YOU ARE ABOUT 40 OR 50 YEARS OLD. WHAT IF YOU GET A REALLY GOOD JOB THAT PAYS BIG DOLLARS IN A HIGH-PROFILE COMPANY, DO YOU THINK YOU WOULD LOOK PROFESSIONAL. MY SISTER HAD HER TONGUE PIERECED AND SHE SAID THAT IT HURT REALLY BAD, AND GUESS WHAT, SHE NOW WORKS IN A SCHOOL AND CAN'T EVEN WEAR THE DARN THING BECAUSE OF HER JOB. I WANT YOU TO REALLY THINK ABOUT WHY YOU WANT THIS TONGUE RING.
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Hi, right now I'm 14 and my boobs have stopped growing. I wear like an AA30 which is realy small and embarrasing. I was thinking about over the summer I could try some breats enlargement pills. I searched and the best place I could find is Small Breast Solutions.com Do you think I should try these. I'm sure I want to (for myself) so I can feel what it is like to be a girl. (I know I sound stupid.) I asked my mom and she is okay with it. I know the ingreadients and I know I know what I'm doing. I think it is better than plastic surgery (whith all the bad outcomes.) But I'm not sure about my friends and this guy who is my really close friend. (I told them I had stopped growing.) (Guys how would you feel if a girl you knew was using this?)I'm not going to tell anyone. Thank you so much for advice! (link)
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I WANT TO KNOW IF YOU ARE TRYING TO GET BIGGER BREASTS' BECAUSE SOMEONE IS TEASING YOU, OR DO YOU WANT BIGGER BOOBS TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL GOOD.
IF YOUR MOM IS OKAY WITH YOU TAKING BREAT ENLARGEMENT PILLS, AND IF IT IS SAFE, AND IF YOU ARE DOING IT FOR YOURSELF-GO RIGHT AHEAD. IF YOU ARE DOING THIS FOR SOME BOY OR TO PLEASE SOMEONE ELSE, THEN RECONSIDER WHAT YOU CONETEMPLATE DOING.
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i am 19. i am in a 5 year relationship and we have a one year old son together. i am going to college to be a nurse. lately there have been a lot of problems between my b/f and i. well i was going to move out, until i found out that i am pregnant. now i have cancelled my new apartment and am staying here for now. i know that we will not be together forever and i do not want to raise two kids alone. i am considering abortion and have an appointment scheduled for next friday. my b/f wants the baby and is excited. everyone in our family already knows that we are expecting again. i am too young to give up my life completely. i do not know what to do. if anyone has any advice i would really appreciate it. by the way, i am 8 weeks pregnant and due on christmas. PLEASE HELP (link)
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I was 16 when I had my son, who is now 13. Don't give up on life no matter what. First and foremost you have to be there for the child that you already have. As far as having an abortion, that is a decision that you have to make on your own. What you should really be asking yourself is if you see yourself with this man 5 years from now and if you love him unconditionally, and if he feel the same way about you.
Sometimes as women we become overwhelmed with major responsibilites and we feel alone in everything that we try to do. Tell your boyfriend that you both need to have a date together and talk about where the realtionship is going. If he shy's away from you and does not want to participate in trying to make things work, then maybe he just does not take having a realtionship with you seriously.
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My boyfriend and I have been talking about getting married and I am fine with that. I actually can not wait. He is my world. The thing is that I want to get my mom's wedding band and engagement ring. My aunt has both of them because my mom passed away. I live to far from her to ask her in person. So I wrote her a letter asking her for the rings. She promised I would get them when I graduated and well, I graduated 2 years ago. I have let it be until now and i do not think she will give them to me. She knows how I feel about getting them and what not. Do you think that she will send them to me? (link)
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I would have to question why your aunt want's to keep your mother's rings and what motivates her to do this.
Instead of writing her I would try to contact her by phone and speak with her directly. Explain to her how much this means to you to have your mother's rings in your possession. I don't know the cicurmstances of how and why your aunt ended up with the rings, but you probably need to find out.
Did you have a good relationship with you mom before she passed? The reason I asked you this is because your aunt may feel that if there was any gripe between you and your mother that you don't deserve the rings. (Keep in mind that I am on assuming what happened).
If you truly beleive that you are entitled to the rings, I would take her to court to get the rings back.
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I need some help. I am going downhill in school because I am very lonely and i can't concentrate on my school work. The problem is that I desparately want a girlfriend and watching other people besides me dating makes it worse. There is no body special that I am attracted to in school, and even if I was i dont think i would know what to do (i am quite shy when it comes to starting conversations with girls and i dont know what to say.) Please if anyone can help me with my problems; how i can learn to be less shy around women, where i can find the girl for me, and what it will cost me to have a girlfriend. Thank you so much. (link)
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I WOULD RECOMMEND THAT YOU JOIN SOME TYPE OF CLUB IN SCHOOL WHERE GIRLS ARE INVOLVED, THAT WAY IT WON'T SEEM SO OBVIOUS. GET TO KNOW THE GIRLS IN THE CLUB AND STRIKE UP A MUTUAL CONVERSATION THAT THE BOTH OF YOU KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT.
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I did it with my dog last week. He's good at it, but can I get pregnant from doing it with a dog? Could my babies be deformed? Could I get sick from doing this? (link)
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HONEY,
I AM NOT JUDGING YOU, BUT I DO KNOW THAT YOU SHOULD NOT BE HAVING SEX WITH YOUR DOG. PLEASE STOP IT AND TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT YOUR ADDICTION.
GOD BLESS YOU!
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ok i have a really big problem with depression, and i was really depressed tonight i spent the enitre night crying ym eyes out, while my boyfriend went to a social ( a wedding anniversary for his friends parents that is basically a really big party). Is it wrong of me to be mad at him for going when i have been puking up blood all night and crying and wanting to kill my self?? i just needed a friend and he would rather go to a big party then comfort me. should i get rid of him or am i totally wrong and i shouldnt be mad that he went out, when i had a terrible time at home. (link)
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I THINK WHAT YOU SHOULD CONSIDER IS THE FACT THAT YOU ARE ALREADY DEAlING WITH DEPRESSION, AND THAT MAYBE YOUR FEELINGS ARE A LITTLE OUT OF PLACE. DID YOU TALK TO YOUR BOYFRIED BEFORE THE DATE OF SOCIAL PARTY ABOUT GOING?
I THINK THAT YOU NEED TO HAVE A TALK WITH HIM FIRST TO FIND OUT ALL THE DETAILS.
WANTING TO KILL YOURSELF IS NOT THE ANSWER. IF YOU EVER FEEL LIKE DOING SOMETHING THIS DRASTIC AGAIN CALL 911 AND ASK FOR SOMEONE TO HELP YOU.
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help im trying to plan a rele awesome party for my 14th birthday!!
there is going to be like around 15 people there, and i need fun games, activites whatever that we can do.
WipeoutSmile
samantha (link)
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HAPPY 14TH B-DAY!
I THINK A PINATA WOULD BE ALOT OF FUN!
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i am 24 years of age. male indian. with full health.no problem.i had my muotaches by the age of 14 and today r full thick and bushi but i dont have proper beards at all(only 2-3 strands).
i masterbate from the age of 14yrs.
is it hormonal problem. what should i do.
my father had his breads byn the age of 18.
help please (link)
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WHEN YOU SAY THAT YOU DON'T HAVE THE PROPER BEARDS, EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT YOU MEAN BY THIS SO THAT I CAN TRY TO UNDERSTAND.
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Im in 6th grade and i have already started my period and i am afraid that i might be pregnant because me and my boyfriend who is a sophmore in high school did it without protection. I come from a family of high class and i dont know what to do!! Pleez help!!
-6th grader* (link)
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I AM NOT GOING TO LECTURE YOU ABOUT BEING TO YOUNG AND ALL OF THAT BECAUSE YOU ALREADY KNOW, BUT WHAT I SUGGEST THAT YOU DO IS GO TO THE DR AND CONFIRM YOUR PREGNANCY; AND WHILE YOUR AT IT GET TESTED FOR ANY STD'S AND HIV.
IF YOU ARE PREGNANT, LET YOUR MOM OR DAD KNOW, SIMPLY BECAUSE YOUR BOYFRIEND IS NOT GOING TO KNOW.
I KNOW YOU LOVE HIM, BUT AT YOUR AGE YOU CAN'T EVEN FILL OUT MEDICAL PAPERS WITHOUT YOUR GUARDIAN.
IF YOUR NOT, COUNT THAT AS A BLESSING. I DON'T CONDONE UNDERAGE SEX, BUT IF YOU JUST HAVE TO DO IT, USE CONDOMS AND A SPERMICIDAL CREAM. YOU CAN PURCHASE BOTH ITEMS OVER THE COUNTER AND DON'T HAVE TO GO TO THE DR TO GET THEM
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i was wondering if i recently had sex on my period will i get pregnant still? (link)
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I AM NOT A MEDICAL DR, BUT FROM WHAT I HAVE READ IN THE PAST-YES YOU CAN GET PREGNANT WHILE ON YOUR PERIOD.
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i have been with my bf for 4 & a half years and we have a baby together. our whole relationship has been a lot of fighting. he gets so jealous and he will rip my clothes, sometimes hit, and he calls me a bitch and a slut when he is pissed off. i am 20 and he is 22. i feel i am too young to deal with all of this, even though we have our good times. i have attempted to leave him several times but am scared of change and i never go through with it. he will also put me down in front of our friends and family to make himself look good. should i finally just give up or should i stick with it for my son? and if i do decide to leave how do i do it? (link)
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Let me tell you something....I have been there. I know that in your heart you love this man, and you probaly can't see yourself living without him, but you have decide if you want to continue looking and feeling like a fool.
This man sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do, I'm pretty sure you have heard this before, and he is insecure about himself, therfore, he is just trying to make you feel like you are less of a woman, because he knows that he is not fully equipped to a real man.
You have to stop thinking that you are stuck! You don't have to feel desperate for a man to love you,(I'm speaking from personal experience).
He is jealous of you because he knows that you are a real woman taking care of business and he knows that you are a good catch for another man; that is why he constantly degrades you to make you feel unattractive.
Go get your nails done, get your hair done, take a course. Do something that will get your mind off of him, at least for a few hours out of the day. Consume yourself with making a better you and gaining some self-esteem so that you won't feel obligated to accept this trash off of this guy.
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOURSELF FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!
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How can i tell if my man has a yeast infection??? I had one a while back like say 6 months ago, and we tried to have sex well i had it without a condom he just slipped it in there but it hurt to much so he pulled out, could he have a yeast infection??? And he really wants me to give him oral sex but im scared becase of the yeast infec thing, could i get it in my mouth??? what does it look like if i get it in my mouth?? I dont wanna say to him "what if you have a yeast infection?" cause then that will jsut embarass him... also his penis always smells bad when i go to give him oral, it always smells really nasty, how do i tell him that i cant do it cauase it smells bad???? PLEASE HELP!!! (link)
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From my own personal experience, I know that yeast infections can be bothersome, and if I were you, I would not give your boyfriend oral sex, or any other kind of sex, until he get's check for an STD.
A man's penis is not suppose to smell the way you say your boyfriend's smells.
He needs to know because he could be spreading something, and if he gets embarrased or offended.....that's his problem and if he truly loves you, he will get his self checked
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