about

"Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all those who live without love" - Albus Dumbledore

Hi, I'm Laura. I'm a senior in college & I'm slowly deciding what I want to do with my life. I love Harry Potter, coffee, writing, and sleeping (amongst other things). I'll never claim to know everything, but I'm confident in my ability to help people with their problems. Feel free to send me an inbox question; I'll get back to you!




A few thoughts I've gathered from my teenage years (and being on this site for most of them!):
1. If you Google song lyrics, the song will come up 99% of the time.
2. Dress to fit your body type, and buy the size that fits. If you're a size 6, squeezing into a 4 won't make you look skinnier. It makes you look fat when you aren't.
3. You will never regret waiting to lose your virginity.
4. There is such a thing as a stupid question, but we're all allowed to ask them.




BU 2014 :)


wicked awesome conversations

^my forum, liven it up a little?

advice

so my boyfriend is like a reeally good kisser. and i no im not a good kisser. how can i be a really good kisser? what should i do with my tongue? how do you suck on someones lip and how do you nibble on their lip? please tell me everything you no. thanks! =}

In addition to the sites YG provided I will tell you this: you don't need to bite very hard. In fact, hardly at all. Basically apply the same pressure you would when you were biting your own lip (like when you're nervous) If your boyfriend says OW, you bit too hard ;)

And as for being a good kisser in general, well, it's something you have to figure out for yourself =). But it's sure fun practicing =P

-LM
[16/f]

[view]

ok so i have this amazing boyfriend who i love soo much and i may be falling in love with him. the thing is we go to different schools cause i transfered half way through the yr to a private school. also he volunteers at this teen youth center place and i've never been there but im going to go with him soon. At that place he had his first gf where he made a mistake and went to 2nd with her. not i struggled with dealing with this but now im ok with it and we worked it out tho we havent even gone to 2nd yet. he made a mistake. anyway the problem now is im so worried that he flirts with other girls since im like never with him. this one girl likes him and he told her he had a gf but normally girls dont obviously flirt unless the boy has shown sum interest and he talks to a lot of girls. ok he is good with girls. i know he is. his last couple gf's i know and i dont mind them just the first one. i am insecure about him being with other girls because he does flirt whether hes aware of it or not. he knows he does cause i've told him but he tells me there is no actual interest like he doesnt like them more then friends. but i am still nervous! i trust him but hes good with girls and girls seem to like him! also just the other day at our youth group he wasnt there but some random girl came up to me and asked where he was and he doesnt even know who she is!! this bothered me. What should i do and am i over reacting? i just love him so much and i know hes a flirt and half of his life i dont even know about and almost no one there at the place he volunteers knows he even has a gf so that leaves it wide open for him to get hit on!! i know he doesnt mean to flirt and hes told me not to worry and he would never cheat but i am jut so afraid of his flirtiness and those girls. he says he doesnt mean to and hes working on it but that hes still gonna act that way cause thats just how he is apparently. i understand cause im flirty too but i dont have as many guy friends as he does girls. he hangs with girls a lot. please help and thank you sooo much!!! I will rate :]

Honestly I don't think you have anything to worry about. Lots of guys are huge flirts & they truly don't do it with the intention of cheating or anything, it's just how they interact.

If you trust him, you've got nothing to worry about. It just happens that most of the people he hangs around are girls. Most of my friends are guys, and my boyfriend's used to it (at least he said so, haha)


-LM
[16/f]

[view]

is there gonna be a new season of antm? or was that the last one? and if theres a new one, when does it start?

It starts tomorrow night. Cycle Ten.
http://www.cwtv.com/shows/americas-next-top-model

[view]

whenever i know that my boyfriend CANT finger me, like when his parents around or we're out in public, i get really turned on because i want it so bad but i know i cant have it. sometimes if i know he can finger me i still get wet and turned on like while he just runs his hands like against my thighs and inside my legs. then for the first minute or so when he's actually fingering me, like inside, the wet just goes away, and im not really turned on anymore. any advice how to stay turned on through the whole thing?

It's actually normal.
I've had more than one person say that "the potential for getting caught is a huge turn-on"
So maybe you could pretend that you were in a situation where you could be getting caught at any moment.

[view]

I have some cute clothes but I want to know some places where I can get cute clothes that are not very expensive. Also if you know where some shoes could be found too thanks!

My best advice? Shop everywhere. Sales racks are your friend, and don't pass up a store just because you don't THINK you'll like it. It doesn't cost anything to look, and you might be surprised!


A few specific stores to check out: Kohl's, Delias, American Eagle, Dots, Charlotte Russe.
Same with shoes. Look for sales! Payless is always cheap, and especially good for if you want a pair of bright green and yellow polka dot shoes, but aren't so sure you'll still want them in six months. Plus, if you or your parents have an AAA card, you get ten percent off!


-LM
[16/f]

[view]

Why is it that some fellow advicenators tell young girls and boys it is okay to have sex or do other sexual acts "if they feel that they are ready" when they know that it is wrong. I believe they are just looking to get good ratings, do you agree? I'd much rather tell them the truth, that they are TOO YOUNG and have NO IDEA of potential consequences BESIDES pregnancy and get a lower rating than tell them it's okay. Am I the only one?

I suppose this can be seen as purely subjective, but is there anyone out there at or about my age (20) who thinks it's ok for 12 year olds to go around having oral sex and/or intercourse?

Well, I'm sixteen. And it's my personal opinion that people are going to go do whatever they want regardless of what we tell them. Yes, twelve is young for things like that. When I was twelve boys still had cooties, haha. So I never really had a problem with it.

We can tell kids the consequences, we can tell them statistics about teenage pregnancy and STDs and they're still going to lose their virginity at fourteen to someone they've dated for two weeks because they "love" them. And yes, I'd say that's ridiculous and way too young for sex.

On the other hand, I think by around sixteen or so, we've seen the consequences & we're (mostly) able to make a decision for ourselves. Sure, we may be young, driven by our hormones, and the like. But we've had time to see others get pregnant (at least in my case; girls were getting pregnant in middle school. Pathetic)


I do believe that if a person honestly thinks they're ready for sex, it's THEIR body, THEIR resonsibility, THEIR decision (and their partner of course). By our late teenage years, we've been educated. Most of us know the expense of raising a child, the potential heartbreak of losing our virginity and breaking up down the road.

So no, you aren't the only one. It's rather sad, actually, that kids as young as 12 are thinking about sex. They should be holding hands at that age, really.


-LM
[16/f]

[view]

does my bf really love me

You're going to have to be a lot more specific with your questions here if you're looking for some decent advice from most of us.

But seriously. Do you honestly have to ask on the internet? This is one of those things you just KNOW. It's the way he acts, it's what he says and how he says it, just who he is when he's around you. That's how you'll know.


-LM
[16/f]

[view]

Alright, so my hair is THE WORST! Literally. It's frizzy, thick, course, and dry. Talk about a bad combination. Anyways, I know it's unhealthy, but I straighten my hair every day, sometimes twice or more a day..and I usually end up wearing it pulled up anyways cause it's just that unconrollable. So does anyone know of any good products that actually work. I've thought about having it chemically straightened, but I'm too scared to loose my hair or something haha. Anyways, any help would be appreciated.

Thanks. :]

Do not chemically straighten your hair! No need to, and it'll just fry it and make it all yucky anyways.

Take a good long look at your ends. Chances are, they're split and dry. Get them trimmed if they are. A good haircut will improve the texture and manageablility of your hair and help it stay straight.

Now, regardless of your straightening habit, make sure you're using the right shampoo/conditioner. Something for dry hair is ideal (i.e. not clarifying, which will strip away oils) and lave the conditioner on for a few minutes. Also considering investing in a leave-in treatment, like Pantene, and a weekly deep-conditioner.

Air-dry hair whenever you can, or use low heat settings on the hair dryer. Use heat protecting spray, or a serum like Paul Mitchel Super Skinny. That goes for straightening, too. Use as low of a heat setting as you can. Consider using hairspray to kepe your hair straighter longer. If you're using the iron three times a day, you probably need a new one.

Good luck!
-LM
[16/f]

[view]

I am desperate! I will buy anything to make my hair look better. I normally straightened it but it takes time and I want to love my hair not straighten it.

I'm 15/F chinese and I have curly/frizzy/dry hair. What I want is able to curl my hair, have less volume, and decrease frizz by a whole lot.

When I come out of the shower, it's like all hair...wet (haha) and easily can break. However, as it drys (very quickly) it tends to frizz and loose its curl.

What products can I use to define my curl without adding volume to it (I hate huge hair) and decreasing the frizz and able to control it.

Any products would be great or techniques.

Paul Mitchell Super Skinny Serum! I adore that product. It's basically my best friend, at least when it comes to hair things. Apply a relatively small amount of it (or a similar serum, if you're going for something cheaper) after you shower. Use conditioner daily (or every other day, depending on what will work better for you) and brush only with a wide-toothed comb until your hair is dry. This will minimize breakage.

As for defining your curl, well, this might take a lot of trial and error. Experiment with various gels, mousses, sprays, and the like. Scrunching often helps with curls. You could also try putting some serum or heat protecting stuff in your hair, and blowdrying with a paddle brush and/or diffuser. That would take a long time, but if you do so properly, you can get nice waves in your hair without all the poof.

Like I've said, don't be afraid to experiment. Bad hair days will happen, and soon you'll find the perfect product(s) for your hair. Good luck!


-LM
[16/f]

[view]

so jen and i have been friends since like 1st grade, not best friends just friends. then in middle school 6th and 7th grade we didnt really talk but we were still okay friends. 8th grade we had a few classes together and we became good friends. we sat together with morgan kelley and gina and the "lunch crew" had fun. we were all good friends except for jen and gina, jen didnt like gina for stupid reasons and eventually once high school came kelley kinda dropped out from my social life and now recently gina did. morgan doesnt like me but she is best friends with jen. well my best friend is abbie and abbie and i have only been best friends since 6th grade(were freshman now) we did everything together and everyone knew we were besties. all of us abbie,jen,morgan,and kelley were friends. (actually in 7th grade abbie and i didnt talk for a long time and abbie and morgan became besties) (morgan and kelley are besties andhave been for like ever) so kelley aand morgan are out of my life and i dont care. now i have abbie and jen. abbie and jen liked eachother but like i said about jen, shes very speaks her mind and very honest. and something about jen abbie doesnt like. i understand but shes still my best friend. i want a group of friends, so i know there is always somone to talk to and something to do. i dont wanna leave abbie or jen though because like jen really cant be serious and always makes me laugh but we think she has some form of bipolar disorder seriously. she can change from happy and kidding around to like total bitch telling me off in like 2 seconds. but im used to it but abbie on the other hand, i dont find as naturally funny as jen, abbie i feel tries to be funny and its not but shes an awesome friend most of the time. i just want them to be besties along with me so we could all hang out and have fun. if that cant happen, i would probably go to abbie and her friends and maybe we could be a little group. okay my point is how can i get my friends into one big group (even if they have nothing against eachother, how could i get them from the point of just knowing eachother to being besties and hangin out) ( cause i have single friends from different well not cliques but like groups of people (not like one from emo and one from athletic players then a geeky one) we are all basically of the same popularity just not friends(we have a graduating class of 600 so its hard to be friends with everyone and get to know everyone

Well I personally think there's nothing wrong with having more than one group of best friends.

For instance, I went to a different highschool than most of my best friends and good friends from middle/elementary school. So, I have the group I've always known, and friends from my new school that I'm just as close with. Plus, my boyfriend and best friend have barely met, and it's not a problem.

Having friends with different personalities is good, too. It makes things interesting. "Variety is the spice of life" after all. I guess if you wanted everyone to be friends, you could all go to the same place; i.e. friends house, movie, mini golf, etc. If you're all hanging out together you're much more likely to all be friends. You won't just wake up one day and think "Hey let's be BFFLs with ____ and ____!"


-LM
[16/f]

[view]

should i turn down one of my bestfriends that is going to ask me out?

If you don't want to date them, then yes you would obviously turn them down. Otherwise you'd just be hurting them more.

If you DO want to date them, then obviously, say yes.


-LM
[16/f]

[view]

hello, my chi straightener crapped out on me(big surprise lol) and i am going to buy a new one. I am a guy and i have meduim length hair. the back goes down to a little less than my sholders and the front is chin legnth. I want to get a solia straightener, is it any good? and should i get the 3/4'' plate or the 1 1/4'' plate? Thanks!

Get the 1 1/4" plate.

Otherwise, you'll go insane straightening your hair. Trust me; I've had a 3/4" before and it takes absolutely FOREVER to straighten your hair with it.

Basically, for the extra ten seconds it'll take to straighten your bangs with a wider plate, you're saving about twenty minutes of your time straightening the rest, not to mention your sanity.


-LM
[16/f]

[view]

i really loved the movie Juno about the pregnant teen and i was wondering if you guys knew any books that are similar to the movie?

thanks

I haven't seen Juno.
But the book "Someone Like You" by Sarah Dessen is about a girl who gets pregnant, then her boyfriend gets killed.
It's not exactly the same concept, but it's an absolutely amazing book.

[view]

14/f freshman. I kinda want to change my life around.
Im smart [not genius], nice, pretty and have a few close friends.I never really been involved in sports but im working on that this year. Ive already signed up for a sport.
I want to have a bunch of friends. I want a bunch of people to know me. These days it seems like the only way to really be known is to act ditzy and thats not what i want. Also I want to boost up my flirting skills and hottness. What tips you got for me ?

Hey well, it's actually a 180 you're going for. Do a 360 and you'll be right back where you started ;)

Want to know more people? Socialize with them. And no, you don't have to go sit at a table full of random people. Your friends have friends, right? Exactly. Volunteer answers in class. Partner up with someone else. Little things like that.

Sports will help you meet new people too so you're on the right track there.

Basically just don't let yourself be self-conscious. A big thing guys like is confidence (I know this because most of my friends are guys) and honestly, if you're putting yourself out there, talking, showing off how confident you are as opposed to how hot you are, you're much more likely to be noticed, and for the right reasons. Essentially, to achieve what you want, you're being yourself, but better. If that makes any sense.


-LM
[16/f]

[view]

I have been talking to this kid Alex, and to me he is a sweetheart and really fun to be around. He is friends with my sister, and ever since him and I started talking she's been getting mad. She never lets me talk to any of her friends at all, even though it would be them who started it.

Anyways, Alex hangs out with my sister's friends, whom I guess you can say are "bad." They do drink and smoke and what not, but really they are the nicest kids to talk to and hang out with.

Since my mom knows about all of the things my sister's friends do, she assumes that Alex does the same (which he does, but he's not as bad.)

Last night I hang out with him, and I had such a good time. There was no awkward silences or anything. Except my mom is very paranoid about him, and does not want me to hang out with him, although she said she is not going to stop me.

I don't know what to do. I really like Alex and I want to continue seeing him, but I don't want my mom to get mad at me whenever I want to hang out with him.

I need any type of advice you can offer, I would really apperitiate it.

Have her meet Alex without all of his friends around. It'll help her realize that he's not a bad kid. I personally think that smoking and drinking doesn't make someone a bad person, just as a person doesn't have to do those things to be considered bad. Once she realizes that he's not like his friends she's more likely to trust him (and you)

Good luck!
-LM
[16/f]

[view]

How do you stay warm in the winter time?

I wear more clothing, wrap myself in blankets whenever I have the opportunity, and hug/lay down with warm people when I get the chance =)

Also check out:
http://www.wikihow.com/Stay-Warm-at-Home-Without-a-Heater


-LM
[16/f]

[view]

15/f

my hair is fried really bad. it wasn't too bad then my friend did my hair for winter ball, tons of heat and hair spray = not good mix for hair. so now it's dry and looks horrible straight. it looked good straight before and i can't not straighten it because it dries naturally sooo weird and poofy. seriously if i didn't have to straighten it i wouldn't, i'd kill for naturally straight/curly hair! anyways what can i do to fix my fried hair? what are some styles i should try without straightening?

i scrunch it sometimes but i don't want to do that everydayyy.

thanks a bunchhh!

Get a deep conditoner, or leave regular conditioner on for a long time. Trim the ends if they're split. Otherwise, your hair just needs a major dose of moisture & it should be okay.

[view]

16/f ..okay i've been using proactiv for about 2 days now, and i'm TOTALLY seeing results, and i won't ever quit or anything..

but just a question..

if i'm going to the gym and working out..and i have the stuff on my face..the 3 steps..should i wash it off before sweating? or will that slow the process of proactiv? should I leave it on? =|

Nope, no need to.
Anyways, it's absorbed by your skin after a few minutes so there'd be nothing to wash off.

[view]

Does anyone know where I can find like the song from Disturbia when the girl put Kal's ringtone as "I'm So Horny" or whatever it's called for a ringtone? I don't know if that makes sense but whatever. I want it for my ringtone. haha.

The artist is 2 live crew, and the song is called Me So Horny.

You can find it on phonezoo.com as well as the Verizon Ringtone Store thing, I believe.

[view]

I'm looking for cute afordable bikinis. The problem is for me is that even x-small bottoms don't fit my butt.
I've tried:
roxy
pacsun
alloy
guess
delias
target
victorias secrets
abercrombie/hollister/aero/ae
and it seems like the bottoms are too big (I go for the string bikini)
so my question is does anyone know any other stores that carry afordable swimwear?

I think you've covered every possible store... have you considered getting a girls' sized bikini bottom?

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker