about

I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)

Facts about me:
*happy
*employed
*married
*large extended family
*bisexual
*advanced college degree
*no kids (yet)

advice

I get made fun of a lot because I have red hair so people call me firecrotch AND Im not very pretty. I look like a fish. Anyway, guys on my bus are always making fun of me..and I want to know what I say to them. Swearing isnt working - they just mock me and it just gives them a reaction.

You're beautiful. Thinking that you're not is pretty immature. Everyone goes through it, including me, but everyone gets over it too. Get over it sooner than later. Look at yourself in the mirror. I'm sure that deep down you will agree with me. The quicker you realize that the quicker the nasty comments will stop. If you have self confidence, nobody will want to pick on you and if they do it won't bother you one bit. The redhead stuff, I've heard it all. I'm a redhead too. It always bothered me, but I never took anything seriously and deep down I had self confidence even if I didn't show it. If I could go back and do it again, I would not have let anybody's garbage bother me and I would let my self confidence show.

There's four choices that you have for handling this situation. Fight, run, join, or deal. If it gets personal "fight" is the best option. Not "fight" as in punch them in the face, but "fight" as in stick up for yourself. "Run" should only be an option if you are in physical danger. If it's just random comments about your appearance "join" is the best option. If you start picking on yourself you'll have a good time. Just be sarcastic about it so that other people know that you don't believe what you are saying. Doing this will usually shut them right up and will make things between you much more pleasant. If you don't have any intention of being friendly or pleasant with the people that are picking on you and you completely hate their guts, "deal". Be better than them and just let it go. You have friends to vent to about it later in the day. Everybody gets picked on for something. One person might be painfully stupid, another might be tall, someone else is a bitch, another person is a momma's boy...the list goes on. The comments they get are just as painful as yours. It's not like they can help what they are especially if it is physical characteristic. That's why it bothers you even if you don't take it to heart.

So, know that every single other redhead and other person on the planet is getting the same crap that you are. Don't do what I did and let it get to you. I do have good news for you though. Once you get out of high school it will pretty much stop. People will grow up and forget that they even picked on you at all. Good luck. :)

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Ok i have this sudden urge to talk to my ex boyfriend.Not really the plan of getting back with him but i dont know, i still love him but i want to know how his life is and im begginning to miss those long talks we use to have everynight.But i dont know if i should call,he has no reason to be mean to me but im afraid yet he will be.Should i call him?

I don't think that you should call him. Here's why: you're not over him yet. You don't want to get back together with him at the moment, but if you begin communicating with him again that could change very quickly. If you still love him and you miss the long talks, etc., it is inevitable that you will want to get back with him. You'll everything again if you get a small taste of it too soon. Wait until you are completely over him before beginning to talk to him again. It will save you a lot of heartache. Don't complicate your life. It's not worth it. Try looking around you and finding someone that can make you feel the same way as your ex did. He's there. All you have to do is find him. Good luck. :)

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can anyone pleassse send me a great websuite for the country mozambique? i have an essay to do.

Whenever you need to find information, Wikipedia is a great place to look first. :)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mozambique

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I am a 13 year old girl and I had started my period a year and a half ago. My breast are still the same size as they were a year and half ago but I also started wearing a back brace because the doctor suggested me to put on one because I have scoliosis. But ever since I was wearing a backbrace (for a year & 2 months) My breast did not develop a bit. My question is, are my breast not developing because I wear a backbrace? If you know someone that has been wearing a backbrace did there breast develop while wearing one?

Thank you, i really appreciate if you answer th question

The backbrace isn't affecting anything. There's nothing that can make your boobs grow or shrink. Many women's breasts grow later than others and some don't grow at all. Good news though - you're only 13. Your breasts will be developing for 7 more years so don't worry just yet. :)

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if i got tested for mono and it came bck negative could i still have lupus???

You have obviously seen a doctor so why didn't you ask your doctor? I'm sure your doctor has everything under control. Any medical questions that you have should be directed to your doctor, not an online forum. I wouldn't want to put my health in the hands of strangers online. I hope you wouldn't either. Good luck.

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i am always dizzy feeling like im going to throw up,all my jionts are achy, i get hedaches, nd rrashes in the sun and i have swollen lymph nodes everyonce in while...this has been going on for 5 months any idea what it could be?

I don't think there are any doctors on this site that are qualified to answer your question. To my knowledge, there are a ton of things that it could be so I'm not going to try making a diagnosis. In any case, if you are sick for more than 2 weeks or so you need to see a doctor. Set up an appointment as soon as possible. Something could be seriously wrong! Good luck!

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I stumbled across this site by accident. I seriously doubt many of you have the qualifications to give real people proper advice. After reading some of your responses to people's inquiries i was quite astonished as to how teenagers find they are able to give quality advice and information to real people in need with such little life experience. If you ask me you are not in a place to give your "personal opinion" when people truly believe you are giving them the right answer simply because you claim "people think i give really good advice". (eg. i am still at a loss as to how a 17 year old girl thinks she can give advice to someone regarding conceiving a child) I know you try to come across as a "godsend" to poeple who are in some sort of personal crisis and need a fast easy answer but the truth is, in the cases where it really counts, there rarely is one; at least not from you.

I'm not going to try arguing with you because, hey, you're entitled to your own opinion. I doubt that after reading everything that everyone has already written that you're going to change your mind if you haven't already.

There is one thing I'd like to point out though. Most any question can be answered by most anyone with a little research. A 17, or even a 13 year old, can look up information about conceiving a child and give a very intelligent, very good response.

One of the reasons I like Advicenators is because when I see a question I don't know the answer to I look it up. I don't necessarily answer the question, but I learn about something that I didn't know anything about before. If I feel that I can answer the question after researching it, I do. If not, I know something new and may be more qualified to answer such a question in the future.

Regular users of this site have come to terms with the fact that there are younger users that answer questions they know nothing about and think they're doing the world good. It's a fact of life that there are idiots out there. There will be idiots WHEREVER you go. If you can't learn to ignore them here like you do everywhere else in your life, just don't use the site. If you can, I'm sure everyone would love your input. :)

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14/f. im taking a birth control pill..for 'once a month girl issues' haha. im not pregnant! its so i only have a period once every 3 months, because mine are horrible and cause me to miss school. i have been taking it for a long time and its been fine, and im supposed to start december 31 according to my pills, but i have already started and been on it for like the past 3 days. its not bad just a little. plus i have had horrible cramping. i have not missed any days of taking the pill, so why am i starting now? i also have finals next week and i used to have to miss school because my cramps and everything is so bad, but i cant miss finals! my mom thinks i should go off the pill and start over in awhile, but i would rather have it when i dont have anything i have to do or places to be at. im continuing taking it every day, and i heard u can still have light spotting every once in awhile, but its been 3 days and my cramps are bad!! please help. thanks!

Call your doctor.

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so here's the deal....... i really want a myspace! yes i know people...... "myspace is stupid. its so out of style!" but you know what i really want one. all my friends have it. Im not stupid! i know not to accept anyone as my friend unless i know them. I know not 2 put any personal information or pictures of myself! im a very good girl! and safe. i dont drink or anything. None of my friends drink and they're parents are more strict than mine! and i want one to talk to all my friends! espcially since vacation is coming up! And another thing is that i have a cousin that doesn't really talk to me because we never see each other. WHen we do see each other its small but online we talked alot on my friends myspace! and i liked it! he's my only cousin on that side of the family that i can tell eveything too especially right now ............... so i know im old enough and im smart! do you think its right for my parents to keep me away?????

I don't think it's right, but I also think that your parents are a bit misinformed. Everyone hears all the bad stories about Myspace. Well bad things happen to people all the time everywhere. Myspace is no different. Nobody talks about the millions of people that have never had a problem with Myspace. Your parents just need to realize that Myspace is a very safe, very fun website. I think that you should make a deal with your parents that allows them to monitor your site. They might go for this. Give them your password or something. I know its a complete invasion of privacy, but after awhile they will realize that you're just fine and they will stop checking it. If you can convince them to let you get started with it somehow even if the conditions totally suck, it'll work out for the best in the end. Good luck! :)

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well her is wats happening this i am a freshmen and i am going out wit a guy in a lower grade level than me....i kno it seems kinda stupid but o well.....anyways some guy that is in a upperclass asked me out today n i think that im kinda starting to get a lil bit of feelings for him and loose feelings for my boyfriend wat should i do?

You didn't have these feelings before he asked you out. Sure you may have noticed him and stuff, but you didn't have these feelings, plain and simple. That means that you just like him because he likes you. This is a VERY common phenomenon. It happens to just about everyone. When someone likes you it intrigues you and excites you and you want to find more out about it. I think that you should stick with your current boyfriend. Of course your feelings for him will fade with time. That happens to everyone too. If you just skip on to the next person you will never end up in a stable relationship. You'll go through a ton of guys and you'll never be happy. Break up with him for a valid reason, not just because your feelings are fading a bit because some new exciting prospect is in the picture. Good luck. :)

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Last Thursday (Dec 7) I ordered a present from a website with the regular 7-13 day delievery.

On Monday (Dec 11) I recieved an email from them saying that gift was out of stock and they canceled the whole order.

Later that same day, I got another email saying they confused the item with another one; the item I had ordered wasn't really out of stock, they just got confused and thought it was. In the email, it said I'd have to completely re-order the present if I still wanted it (in which I do).

Whenever I went to the site to order it, I get a message saying "We cannot calculate shipping costs on site. Fax order to us". I sent them an email telling them "I am highly unsatisfied with your service. I was expecting to get this by Christmas without getting the express shipping. Now whenever I try to order the present, it says that the shipping cannot be calculated. What an inconvience."

My question is, would it be right for me to ask them to pay for my express shipping since it is their screw up?

Sorry if this is long/confusing. Don't hesitate to tell me to clarify. Thanks. :]

It is right for you to ask. You should. They may or may not do it for you, but you do deserve it. :)

Please realize that not only the post offices, but companies that ship out items are working overtime around this time of year. So many people are ordering things that the companies just can't handle it. You should have ordered this long ago if you didn't want any problems. Even if the whole thing had worked, it probably would have taken more than 13 business days for it to go through the mail. At the end of November, I had a package sent overnight and it took a week to get there. Next year if you are going to be ordering things online, plan ahead and do it way earlier than this. Expect things like this to happen beginning as soon as Thanksgiving.

I hope everything gets straightened out. Good luck!

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1. would you perfer a girl/male to make the 1st move & just like grab your head & kiss you OR you make the 1st move

2. how do you show your feelings towards a female/male [ like show them you like them ]

3. how do you become not shy [ like be open & show your feelings towards someone ]

4. what if you like someone, but you dont know them that well to hold a conversation, what do you talk about ?

5. how do you show your feelings towards someone that you arent sure likes you back ?

6. how do you know the person had enough with flirting. like when to stop ?

1. Both have thier perks. It's nice to be pulled in for a kiss, but it's also nice to do it yourself. I prefer my partner to make the first move and I think that most others will agree. I enjoy making the first move sometimes though, because I know that my partner will like it as much as I like it when he does it.

2. Personally, I show my feelings by picking on the person and making stupid jokes. Kicking thier ass at everything is something else I do. It's very fun loving though, not malicious. My competitive side is working overtime, but I'm playful about it instead of serious. I spend as much time with the person as possible and make an effort to sit near them in class. Once I get into a relationship with them I obviously don't keep that up. I'm a lot nicer. My style of flirting works for me because it makes the guy pay full attention to me and it shows me whether or not he can handle me. ;) This style of flirting isn't very effective in getting a relationship, but it found me someone that's perfect for me in the end. Find your own style to help weed out people that you might not get along with right away.

3. I become not shy by forcing myself to. I put myself in situations where shy just isn't acceptable. Throughout high school I performed in plays and did public speaking. I'm still shy, but I can handle it now. Remember, that shy can be mysterious or cute to the opposite sex. It's okay to be shy! :)

4. If you don't know them well then there's tons of things you can talk about. Get to know them. Ask them questions about themselves and answer questions about yourself in return. I'll ask a question, you ask a question type thing. Start with favorites because that's easy. Once you get going, you'll be surprised at how much you learn.

5. Just show them! Flirt a lot. If they don't like you back they won't show it back. If they do, they will. My philosohpy is that you should just tell them. Skip all the wondering. Find out right away. Rejection will be easier to take if you haven't built up a ton of false hope.

6. You'll know by their body language. If they roll their eyes, look at the time, look bored, slump over, try to leave, try to walk away, try to change the subject, or something like that, it's time to stop.

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My boyfriend doesn't like that Im on Myspace because alot of people message me from all over and he doesnt want guys I used to talk to reconnecting with me through Myspace! Is he being reasonable or unreasonable?

If he has Myspace himself, he is being COMPLETELY unreasonable and he needs to be slapped. You should also question your trust in him. If he is blaming you of that he could be doing it himself.

If he doesn't have Myspace, I think that he's somewhere in between. It's unreasonable for him to not want you to talk to people, but it's reasonable for him to be skeptical about the whole Myspace thing.

There's a few things you can do. Encourage him to use Myspace. He'll then see that it's not as bad as he has imagined it up to be and that it's okay and fun to reconnect with people. Just because you are reconnecting with others doesn't mean that you are disconnecting with each other.

Another thing you can do is give him your password. Only do this if you are completely comfortable with him having it. Remember that if you do, he would be able to make changes on your page, message people, and do a whole bunch of other things in your name without you ever knowing. If you trust him enough not to do this, giving him your password will not only show him that you trust him, but he will gain some trust in you. He can read whatever messages you send to people and he'll calm down about the whole thing.

Good luck!

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Okay,
I absolutley LOVE LOVE LOVE singing, and acting, but my play is this friday and i have the lead role, everyone always talks about that when they perform, they feel really good. How do i get over my fear!! I already had an embarrassment on stage once, i cant do it again. How do i distract myself from the sudience. Tips would be helpful ASAP

JANE

"I already had an embarrassment on stage once, i cant do it again."

That right there is your problem. In order to get over stage fright, you need to realize that it's OKAY if you make a mistake. It's OKAY if you completely embarass yourself. The world goes on, your life goes on, and everybody else will forget about it much sooner than you will. Be confident in yourself. Be so confident that it doesn't matter if you mess it up. Be able to laugh at yourself. You're only human. You're bound to make a lot more mistakes in your life. If you let the fear of making a mistake run your life, you'll be afraid forever. Good luck. :)

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I am a teen victim of domestic violence. I am 15 years old and I live in the state of Florida, Volusia County. I really dont have the authority to do much. I dont have a job and my mother is taking her boyfriend (the abuser)s side over me. In my situation I was completely respectful until the abuser got up into my face and physically placed his hands on me. I then yelled and left the house. I tried to go back and talk to my mom about getting an injunction on him but she wont because she wants to be with him and says 'he' is in control because 'he' has "the money", supposedly my mom cannot live on her own without him. I am placed in the middle of this because I am her responsibility and I need help. I want to get him out of the house so I can move back in. I dont have family I can goto and I dont have many friends at all. If anyone has any information on this it would be greatly appriciated. ASAP

If all he did was get in your face and place his hands on you, sorry, but that isn't domestic violence - he's just an ass. You're not going to get anywhere with this if that is the case. If he did more than just put his hands on you and yell, for example hitting, pushing, or shaking you **hard**, call a hotline. They should be able to assist you with whatever you need. Your mother can most certainly get by without him if he is an abuser. It might be very hard on you, but you'll get through it. If her financial situation is bad enough keep in mind that you could end up homeless and maybe even without enough food. I know that he's just your mom's boyfriend, you don't like him, and you feel that he has no right to do anything like that to you, but if it's not serious please don't turn him in. It really would be in your best interest not to. Before you do anything be mature about this and try talking with him. Make sure that your mom is there in case he gets violent, but just tell him that you don't feel comfortable when he puts his hands on you. Be nice about it. You might be surprised what you get in return - it could solve the whole problem. Again though, if I am mistaken and this is serious, don't delay. Call one of the hotlines. Good luck. :)


Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233)

Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-548-2722

Domestic Violence Hotline/Child Abuse
800-4-A-CHILD (800 422 4453)

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13/f

i have a geography bee tomorrow and i desperately need help.. i need t0 memorize capitals of each state in the US. can anyone send me a website where i can find it please? please help as soon as possible. thanks

Here's a list
http://www.freeusaguide.com/tables/state_capitals.gif

and a map
http://keep3.sjfc.edu/students/elh1323/unitplan/capitals.jpg

Good luck! :)

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i have found out were my birthmother lives and everything .. what should i do .. i dont know what to doo what would be best she obviously didnt want me around in the first place.. but wat i can i do to meet her and my little brother i have never met.. i neeeeeeeeeeeeed hhhhhhheeeeeelllppppppppppp please :(

Just because she gave you up doesn't mean that she doesn't care about you. Many mothers give their children away because they can't take care of them. If she has a son that she is raising I think that this probably happened to her. She gave you up so that you could grow up with food and toys and all the other things she probably couldn't afford at the time. I'm sure she wonders about you all the time. Maybe she is worried that you hate her too. I think that you should write her a letter. Tell her about your life and how you are doing and that you would like to meet her. Good luck! :)

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ok well me and my gf just broke up and well i really really liked her. well she dumped me because she said that all she saw herself getting out of this relationship was a friendship. and that wasent an excuse because the last couple days she has actually been trying to be a good friend. so im really sad and all being my pathetic self. but then the next day she was telling her best friend that she was having second thoughts bout doing it and that she dosent know if she made the right decision(i got the forwarded message from aim)

ok well my question is

is there anything i can do to influence her to come back to me
i really really like her and i dont want to loose her as a gf

Convince her that boyfriend and girlfriend are supposed to be best friends. Friendship is a very important part of a relationship. If you can't be good friends with each other your relationship isn't going anywhere. What does she want for you to be enemies? Acquaintances? Just try reasoning with her. It sounds like she is having some trouble with committment. Good luck.

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I'm trying to upload a song to a MySpace band page and it says it has to be an MP3. I have the MPEG-4 version and the Windows Media Player version, and I can't for the life of me figure out how to make it an MP3. Anyone know what to do?

You can convert the MPEG-4 to an MP3 with iTunes. I haven't done it in a long time, but from what I remember, you add the song to the iTunes library, right click on it, and then choose the option to convert it into an MP3. You may have to play around with the options to make it so that you can do this. Remember that you should only be uploading songs to Myspace that you have the right to. Good luck. :)

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14/f
This is a lame question. Buuut.
Okay for a long time my boyfriend and I have done stuff like fingering and that but he's gone away to Europe for 2 months. I keep getting sexual urges.
Okay. sooo. what are the best ways of masturbating. like if you dont have a vibrator. just wondering.
thankies.

This website should help you. It's very clean and purely educational. Good luck. :)

http://www.coolnurse.com/masturbation_howto.htm

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