about

I'm Jack/Jamie.

I'm 28 years old. I graduated from Michigan State University with my Bachelor of Science in Chemistry. GO GREEN! Now I'm a high school chemistry teacher in New York City living with my husband in a small studio apartment we pay way too much money for.

I've been on this site for 14 years as of March 23, 2020.
You may have seen me as CuxMiBeckNow7, but I've since shortened my name.


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Here is my Recommended Columnist of the Decade for the 2020s:
Laura!




--Jack

advice

I know this is long but I have 3 things here.

1-If your best friend stalls for 4 months then asks out his girlfriend because he doesnt want to hurt you, and makes you his top priority over his gf, family, friends, homework and etc. and lies to you about it. Does it seem like he has some sort of feelings?

2-We had some issues as friends and our friendship was on and off, I was miserable and I hid it so well when I was around him, yet everyone else knew. When his girlfriend dumped him, he turned miserable..and he broke his promise to me that we can be friends and no more broken pieces and this and that, and it killed me even more. He never understood he just kept saying I felt that way because he felt that way. Which was untrue. We made this agreement not to talk for a month, and I was having a sleepless night and agrivated that I hadn't been sleeping so I ended the friendship, and it was my biggest mistake. I wish I could have made 2 more weeks. That was back in August. We had arugements on and off for 6 months. I was still on his buddy list and in his phone, though he wasn't in mine for months. (How I know this is that he grandma accidently called me on Thanksgiving because I'm the first one in his contacts and when my aunt died I put the date in the profile along with all the others, and my other bestfriend gave him this small story of my life the day after trying to fix our friendship for me and he went 'yeh i know i saw the profile i feel bad i want to say something and cheer her up but i feel like after then i say leave me alone that will hurt her even more'). He told her that he still cared about me and wanted to be friends. Then 2 days later said that he didn't care, then 5 days admitted he lied that he did still care. He told me that he wants to be friends but something in his heart says no. (I know I hurted him with other shit, he tried to help me change my ways because I knew I needed to and I wanted to, and I didn't exactly change change the way we wanted it to be..and I hurt him with all the effort he put in and yadda. *confusing i know*). My best freind wouldn't tell me that they were setting something up, and I messed up being friends again. I didn't say a word for a month and at the end of March he 'accidently' posted his status on my facebook, claiming it was an accident and that it was 1AM and he was tired. Though everyone says it was no accident. Me of all people? He now blocked me on AIM, took me off facebook and myspace after 7 months of not being friends.

3- Then was telling my boyfriend which hes been friends (since 2005) that I'm always gonna wanna talk and do this and that. Warning him about me, and my boyfriend told me all this. So I went to him, and he told me what my boyfriend said to me was untrue. (My boyfriend is also known to be an ass and had a bad rep in high school, I gave him a chance because I knew him back when we were 12 before that all started.) A week after the facebook thing we were in a fight and thats when he blocked me, and my boyfriend came over 2 minutes after the fight ended, which I didn't expect him for another half hour, so I didn't have time to dry up the tears and shit. He asked to see the convo and I showed him, and he got pissed becaused he saw the way he worded shit that he still cared bout me. Then called him trying to fix things and failed..Is he jealous of my boyfriend? Protecting me from getting hurt?

If it wasn't for the facebook thing, and me snapping and saying something, I wouldn't have spoken to him since Feb. I'm now on 1 month and 1 week, which I have done before, though it's the longest.

I haven't seen him since last July. I want to see him again, I want to talk to himm and be friends again though it may be awkward. I know I should just wait out the time and hope things come around.
We live less than 2 miles away and we have yet to see each other, (I'm an year older). He leaves for college in 2 months, and I may see him at a BBQ or something a week before that.
I still cry and think about him, but not as much as I used to (thankfully) and have dreams every now and then of us talking things out and becoming friends again. Which I hate to sleep after that..because I believe a dream is a wish your heart makes.

-Why did he stall her?
-Is everyone right that he had feelings but wouldn't admit it?
-Why did he say the truth to my best friend then lie to me?
-Was the facebook thing a real accident?
-Why did he bad mouth me to my boyfriend?
-How can I get passed this?
-Will he eventually come around again?
-What do I do?

Hello- sorry I didn't get to this right away.

Honestly, I can't read his mind.

Talk to him and straighten things out, that's the only advice I can give you.

Thanks for inboxing.

--Jack
(17/m)

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I gave my boyfriend a blowjob and swallowed...then shortly after he left I used my spit to lubricate myself when materbating. Can I get pregnant ?

Most likely not.

Next time, wash out your mouth first, just in case.

--Jack
(17/m)

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I'm starting to hang out with this guy. We do lots of cool stuff but I was wondering.. what do guys like to do, or not do, with girls? I mean when hanging out. Lots of different responses would be great.

Ever heard this adage?

"The fastest way to a guy's heart is through his stomach!"

Well, it's true. Go out for food, or include it in your plans.

Go bowling or go to Borders, or whatever matches his interest. Maybe he'd like to go to the park?

Ask him- he knows himself better than we do!

--Jack
(17/m)

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ok this girl is my friend, on of my good friends and we went out twice but each time we do she leaves me for her ex. But i don't know what to do. the first time we just went back to being friends and things even though it ended badly with all this complication and stuff but i forgave her and it wasnt her fault and whatever. but this time she promised me it wouldn happen etc. but it did. so i feel kind of like an idiot. so i dont know should i just forgive her agian because i want to, like shes my friend,or atleast supposed to be but a part of me thinks well why should i be there as a friend for her after all this.Kind of like well why should she get the benefit of my friendship kind of thing....if that makes any sense. what do you guys think?

thanks

If she's causing you the pain I think she's causing you, it's probably not worth it to keep pursuing a relationship with her.

And that means as a friend and a girlfriend.

It's best to just leave what's in the past in the past, and move on.

--Jack
(17/m)

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Do guys like when girls where guy shorts and a t-shirt or sweatpants once in a while?

YES! I like when a girl doesn't feel she needs to impress me at all times with her clothing.

Plus, when a girl is comfortable enough around you to do that, it's kind of refreshing.

Obviously this doesn't mean just be a slob, but, it's certainly alright to not feel pressured to dress up nicely EVERY day.

--Jack
(17/m)

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Do guys like to Talk on the Phone with a Girl at Night?

Honestly, yeah. It's more personable than AIM, MSN, or Facebook.

My girlfriend hates talking on the phone, so we haven't ever done that. Maybe she'll change her mind.

--Jack
(17/m)

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well there's this guy who I posted about several times since last summer who I liked and I thought he liked me because he would always stare at me in the hallways and in class..but when I told him that I liked him, he told me that he had a g/f but he would continually stare at me. I decided to let him go because my feelings for him were in vain, I've liked other people after him but I still had feelings for him. so last night at prom, I noticed that him and his friends kept staring at me and whenever I would be dancing with a guy, he would stare at me, so I was finally dancing by myself and he kept coming closer to me then I felt him pull me by the waist and we started dancing. while we were dancing; he was holding me by my waist and clasped his hand into mine and he asked me to slow dance with him and while we were slow dancing, he kept rubbing my back and my arms. I was the only girl he danced with for the night because i was on the dance floor for the whole night and we were nearby each other. do u think he likes me?

To make a long answer short:

Yes.

To make a short answer long[er]:

Yes, I think he does. Talk to him about it and see where it goes, maybe he's liked you since you told him you liked him, but he hasn't known what to do.


--Jack
(17/m)

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not that i dont like advicenators, because i actually LOVE this site & i find it very helpful,, are there anyother websites like this where you can ask questions and other people help you?

i have this one situation.. that i already asked on this site,, and i just want to talk to as many people as possible and get as much feedback as i can..

i tried looking on google.. but i didnt get anything that i really liked..

thanks :)

http://www.coolapproach.com/advice/index.asp
http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/
http://www.answerbag.com/


Try those out!

--Jack
(17/m)

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About 4 months ago i cheeted on my boyfriend. He know's all about it and were still together but i still dont no why i kissed the other guy and im still so confused.
Please help

Obviously the fact that you're still together means he still cares about you. Maybe he's forgiven you?

I would talk to him and let him know you're confused. Maybe he can help you work it out.

--Jack
(17/m)

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19/female.

so last night was my cousins grad party. it started to get a little boring so me my brother, his fiance and my brothers friend and my friend started drinking. i took 6 shots, and i was gone. welll then my good friend joe came over with his family and i guess i jumped on top of him and then i rememeber talking to him and he was kind of mad at me for getting like that because he doesnt like when people do that. i was like your going to take care of me right? and he was like no, and i was like what you're my best friend you suppose to watch out for me. and he was like you shouldnt of done it then. and then my brothers fiance comes and is like come outside and do some more and joe was like.....no, no more. he ended up leaving to go to another grad party and didnt come back because he ended up hanging out with his girlfriend (BLAH) well then i felt really bad because people were like he's really mad that you did that and so i texted him last night and was like love you jj, dont be mad at your best friend like everyone was telling me you were. and he never said anything back! i dont know what to do. i get drunk maybe ONCE a year, he knows im not like that and its kind of a tradtion to have fun and all that at graduations. PLUS i have a little crush on him, even though he has a girlfriend but obviously i dont want him to be mad. i dont know what to do :\

I think JJ is right by being the friend who won't put up with that crap.

He cares about you, and he has every right to be mad, no matter how much of a "tradition" it is.

Please go to his house and apologize in person, because texting isn't a good way to apologize. Tell him how immature you were and, if you truly mean it, how sorry you are for what you did to him. He shouldn't have had to deal with that.

--Jack
(17/m)

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Okay so I'm 13/F (almost 14 though) and I recently met a boy (15/M we'll call him J) and he seemed pretty nice, so I gave him my number and we've been talking for awhile now but haven't hung out a lot. I asked him once about his past relationships and he told me that there has only been one girl and that they only made out. And I was kind of surprised because I knew one of his friends was a pretty bad kid but I thought maybe J is diferent. Well I talked to that friend (close friends) and he told me that J went all the way... Im not really okay with that. I've never even been kissed... I asked J if that was true (but I didnt say who told me) and J denied it... Well i dont know who to believe... I dont know either of them very well but I really want it to work with J. What should I do?

Like the person below said, give him the benefit of the doubt.

Sure, he could be lying because he doesn't want to seem like he's gone very far, but his friend could be lying for the heck of it.

See how it goes with J, and keep asking him about his past. I mean, don't pester him, but, if you end up dating him, it's your right to know if he's had sex or not, because he could have an STD or something.

Maybe ask some of his other friends, and compare stories. If all of his friends are saying he's gone as far as his one friend did, I might start to believe them.

Take it slow and be observant, basically.

--Jack
(17/m)

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15 female

okay, so my boyfriend and i have been going out for a month now, but we been talking for a while, even during my last relationship, so we have a pretty strong connection. anyways, just today he found out his x is pregnany with his baby, shes 2 months. she called his mom and told her, and she said she never told him cause she was scared. now i really dont know what to do, im really upset cause i like him alot and now this whole situation jus got in the middle of our relationship, which was going really goood. he said he dosnt wanna brake up with me and that we shouldnt let our feelings dies because of this but he says he feels bad putting me thro this and doesnt want me to go thro it all cause im so young, but i really wanna stay with him cause i like him ALOT. idk what to do ): i been crying like non stop since he told me that... ughhhhhhhhhh.

btw, hes 18 and shes 16 or 17 i think.
what should i do???? hes gonna come see me tomarow, cause we dont get to see eachother much since he lives kinda far from me and cause my parents don want us together. what should i tell him or do?!! oodfcnvjksnv ):


HELP!!!!

I agree with Razhie, you should break up with him.

Ultimately, the pain you'll feel when breaking off the relationship now compared to the pain you'll feel when you go through all of this and THEN breaking it off, it is significantly less.

So, if you break it off now, you will feel pain, no doubt, but, it will pass. However, the longer you wait, the more pain you'll accumulate, and the more painful it will be to end the relationship a few months from now.

Do yourself a favor. End the relationship. Nothing says you can't still be friends.

--Jack
(17/m)

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There's this boy at my high school that I really, really like. I've never felt this way about any guy, actually. And towards the beginning of this year, I could have sworn he liked me too. We were always together, and when we couldn't be he called me on the phone and we would talk until we ran the phone batteries down. But now, he started hanging out with another girl more than me, calls me less often, and doesn't spend any time with me at school. I don't understand. Please, help me.

Me: 16/F (17 in September)
Him: 15/M (Just turned 15 on April 13.)

I'm going to give you a list of what guys tend to do when they like girls:

1. They don't call you "sexy". They call you "beautiful", "gorgeous", "amazing", etc.

2. They make an effort to hug you. They might high-5 instead, but it really depends on the guy in question.

3. They DO find any reason to touch you in some way. Mostly it ISN'T in a sexual way. It's more of just an excuse to remember what you feel like, I guess. It's hard to explain...

4. He is always smiling around you. If you're feeling bad and he's around- he'll be smiling because he knows that he's there to help you- and that's like brownie points for a guy if they can help a girl out. That, like the above, is hard to explain.

5. He'll tell you things about himself that he normally wouldn't tell everyone. He opens up to you. Guys don't get a chance to do that when pressured to "be manly".

6. If you have a feeling that a guy likes you- you're probably right. Guys aren't the best at hiding it- and girls are even better at figuring these type of things out.


So- if he does one, some, any, or all of those things, he probably likes you. Guys fall for girls pretty easily.

--Jack
(17/m)

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Ok so i still am in love with my ex and he doesnt know it ,but he has a girlfriend and she lives soo far away , but he talks to her on the phone all the time

do you think he loves her?

I agree with Laura below; he has a girlfriend, and no matter how far away she lives, he has to have some type of feelings for her.

So unless he breaks off the relationship, or she does, stay away from it. It's rude to intrude.

--Jack
(17/m)

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K so today is my best friends birthday but i cant go because i just got a job and after a week of oreintation im finally working today is the day i get trained which im excited for but my best friend is really pissed because im missing her 16th but its not my fault she didnt tell me 2 weeks ago she just told me a few days ago what she was doing and i tried calling her yesterday to tell her i cant come but she didnt answer so i sent her a msg on facebook and i told her i would call today but she sent me a msg saying "fuk you seriously you cant even call in sick or anything" so ya i dont know what to do should i talk to her again or no because she really hurt my feelings shes only thinking of herself.

Christina below me is right.

If your friend was truly your friend, she would understand that she didn't give you enough notice when telling you about her party. You have work, and you have to go. Calling in sick is a solution, but it isn't really honest, and you shouldn't start off a new job by lying; it will only lead to more lies.

Talk to your friend in person and say you're sorry you can't come/couldn't come to her party, but it's your job, and you wouldn't expect her to call in sick just so she could come.

Maybe take her out to lunch or hang out with her later as a special birthday celebration between just you and her. Make her something nice, and maybe she'll forget how immature she's being, and forgive you for not going.

--Jack
(17/m)

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Okay so I have a lot of guy friends and they all love talking to me. I have a crush on a few of them, and I'm pretty sure they like me at least a little bit. But there's always some girl who is hotter than me, or cooler than me that they like more. How can I make myself sexier? What do guys consider hot?

The best way to attract a guy is to be yourself. If you try to change yourself just to get a boyfriend [especially at your age]- you'll just end up with someone who only likes you for what you've become- not who you are. If you be yourself- and don't change- you'll attract more guys who actually care about your personality rather than just your looks.

I myself like any type of girl. I honestly don't judge looks as much as I do personality. If a girl is absolutely stunningly beautiful, but she's a bitch- why would I like her? What would our relationship be? What would we talk about? Her latest hair extensions? Yeah- that would be REALLY nice *Sarcasm: Party of one!*...
If a girl has a really nice personality- and she's really outgoing and sweet and nice and smart- and she's not necessarily the best looking girl- but she's not super unattractive- then I'll most likely want to date her over the beautiful bitch.

Do you get what I'm saying? If you let guys see your personality more than your looks- you'll end up with someone great. Trust me- most guys prefer personality over looks- they just don't know it yet =].

--Jack
(17/m)

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im 14/f almost 15 and im going to be a freshman in highschool in the fall. so lately ive had a lot of boys over just hanging out as friends. but i feel like my house is boring and i need some ideas on things to do with boys that they will enjoy as well as me and my friends who are girls too. if you have some ideas please help me out!! thanks

Play a board game, watch a movie, go outside and play a game, make a silly video of you doing ridiculous things [not like drinking or sexual things], or, you could just talk and hang out.

It's hard to come up with too many ideas, because there are aren't many things to do other than what I listed.

Have fun!

--Jack
(17/m)

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okay i havent ever fingured myself. But my boyfriend ask if he could fingure me what do i do. i want to because i love him alot but i dont know what to do while its happening.
Please please please help me.

If you don't know what to do- the truth is, you probably shouldn't be doing this.

I see that you're 13 years old? You're kind of still young for this type of stuff, unfortunately.

Just because you love your boyfriend doesn't mean you should feel pressured to let him do that to you.

--Jack
(17/m)

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okay so right now i have a Dell Inspiron 6000, but this week i am getting a new Macbook computer. my sister recently made this same change in computers but found that she couldnt transer her itunes from her dell or ipod to the mac.

so my question is, how do i transfer my whole itunes from my dell to my new macbook?

i have an ipod touch and an ipod classic by the way if that matters or helps?

Well, there are a few things you could do- none of them are actually directly transferring your iTunes to the Mac, because I'm not a computer-whiz.

1. Update your iPod's iTunes on your Dell. Then, go here: http://www.ipod2computer.com/index.php?SRC=1 and download the program. It will transfer your iTunes from your iPod to the computer. Just follow the directions.

2. Put all your music on a CD, but don't save it as playable music- save the songs as data files. This is impractical if you have a lot of songs in your Library. If so, go with the first option.

--Jack
(17/m)

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ok when i kiss my boyfriend. like i mean pecks. long pecks and sometimes short ones. he will just randomely stick his tongue in my mouth and im like what the hell! thats gross. then we laugh. we havent madeout though. and i asked him why he does that with his tongue. he said just to make me mad. but is this just his way of trying to makeout. or what? i need peoples opinions. im 16 female. and hes 17. weve been together for almost 6 months. i want to makeout with him. and i know he probably does to. but were both kinda shy when it comes to stuff like that. what are some things i can do to get our kisses and his tongue into a makeout. and what do i do with our bodies. or our hands and stuff. someone please help me. thanks in advance

Well- maybe he does want to make out with you- that's probably why he's trying to stick his tongue in your mouth.

If you both want to do it- then go right ahead.

Here's some tips I have from a past question I've answered. I won't copy it all, because it's really long.

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=542507

From there:

I know this sounds really lame, and I'm sure it is ;]

But just go with the flow. I don't really have experience in how to "properly" kiss, nor do I have experience with kissing at all! Can you say prude? ;]

Anyway- if it's your boyfriend/girlfriend- just be honest with him/her. Tell them you're nervous and you don't really know what you're doing. Apparently the people who are less-experienced is a big turn-on to some people.

Do what you feel comfortable with. If something feels awkward or uncomfortable, don't do it. If it feels right, ask the person if they are okay with that, and if they are- then you'll be fine.

There really isn't a CORRECT way to do it. Everyone does what they are comfortable with.

From my weak experience- this is what I can tell you:

1. Don't come on strong- it's really awkward for the other person.
2. Don't slobber all over the other person.
3. Don't stick your tongue all the way down their throat.


My friend on here, Laura, answered a question similar to this, and she gave a great answer. I will copy her answer, but know that credit goes to her.

www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=542699



--Jack
(17/m)

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