about

I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)

Facts about me:
*happy
*employed
*married
*large extended family
*bisexual
*advanced college degree
*no kids (yet)

advice

Hello to all. I'm a 14/f. I'm in the 9th grade. I have a serious problem. It's ruining my life. I've been noticing lately that people are using me. And I mean EVERYONE. When they need an answer (on a test, or a quiz w/e) they ask me. I, being a pushover, give them the answer and try to help them to the best of my ability. However, when *I* need something, like help, or advice, they shun me out. They ignore me and make up some lame excuse to not have to deal with me and my questions and problems. I used to think I can rely on a group of people, but now it turns out they're just using me. On the weekends, they NEVER call. They NEVER want to talk. However, when they need something, they always come to me. (This is probably because I get straight A's...) I feel like an object...a piece of gum, that has been chewed up and spit out. I'm coming to the point where my favorite band and my own cat are my best friends. I can't rely on anyone because I know they will use me. I help them truthfully...and they end up backstabbing me. Like an example of a situation: I finished an exam online (it's worth a grade) and I got a 60. My friend asked me to give her some answers to cheat since it won't affect my 60 anyways...so I gave her 7 answers...and she got a 79. While I was upset, she started asking me if I think the teacher will pull the grade up to an 80 -_-. I then asked her for help and she rejected. I'm so confused.

I think that you should continue to be a nice person.

I found myself in a very similar situation when I was in high school. I was a little older when I started to feel as bad about it as you do, but while reading your question I kept saying "hey that's me!"

Most of your friends throughout your life will be like this. Most people don't know how to be good friends. I have met only 2. Yeah, lots of people have the qualities of a friend and if they see you hurting they will try to help you, but in order to be a good friend you need to be there for someone when they're not hurting too. Many friends are group friends. You consider them a friend, but you never spend any one on one time with them. You always hang out with them AND other people. There aren't any intimate moments, just companionship. Other friends are activity friends. You only see them when you're doing a certain activity...sports, partying, etc. These aren't real friends either, but they are friends. All the people that you're around that you like and that you talk to are your friends even if it doesn't feel that way. I'm sure you are very blessed in these departments. You're lucky.

The fact that people are bad friends doesn't make them bad people. It's no different from being bad at spelling. They just don't have that skill. It doesn't mean that they don't care about you. They definitely do. It doesn't mean that they purposely exclude you. They probably don't even realize that they are doing it. Cut them a little slack. If you feel particularly hurt by someone, try talking to them about it. Talking does wonders.

There are a LOT of people that are in your situation. Even really popular people with a ton of friends. I believe that most everyone goes through a time in their life when they feel like they don't have any friends. They find themselves alone with a bunch of fake friends and a poor outlook on their lives. I still feel this way every once in awhile, but it doesn't last very long because I know I'm not being realistic. Right now you're just a little depressed and it's affecting your attitude. It'll go away, don't worry. :)

You shouldn't feel so bad about yourself. You are a wonderful person. I'm sure people tell you this all the time. They mean it. Sometimes it feels like you're not appreciated, but you are. It's better to try and fail than to not try at all. You'll feel better about yourself and in this case it's not really failure. Some people don't know how to show appreciation. They still have it. You are going to be a very successful person and you are going to find at least one true friend. You're still young. Most people don't keep the same friends that they had in high school for their whole lives. You probably won't meet your lifelong friends until you're 30. Don't be discouraged yet.

If you continue being a nice person, I can guarantee that you will be happier than if you try to change. If someone is really taking advantage of you, just ignore them. You don't have to be mean to them unless they start harassing you. They'll get the hint and they'll leave you alone. If they really really need help with something I'm sure you'll be able to tell and it's your choice whether you want to help them or not. Most of the time I would, but in some of the more extreme cases I'd hope they found someone else to help them.

Good luck. :)

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14(freshman)/f
i really like this guy, and his name is jack. like really i've never liked someone so much, and i have had alot of serious relationships before. anyway. he is a junior (16). and he likes me back. my parents are kind of being stupid about the whole situation because he is so much older. liek they dont let me hang out with him or anything, and they are like really over-protective when it comes to him. i dont really know how to deal with it, they just seem not acceptable to the whole thing. i mean, i do good in school and so does he. and like i think they are judging him just cuz hes older. they think all he wants to do is get in my pants, and like.. he says he actually cares about me a lot and wouldnt push me to do anything. which is good cuz i think im to young to do anythign serious. any ideas? please help!

If your parents don't like him, they don't like him. I can understand why this is hard for you since they haven't done this with any of your past relationships. I can assure you though, that this is normal parent stuff and you shouldn't let it bother you.

It doesn't sound like they are actually doing anything about it except voicing their disapproval. They are entitled not to like your choices. I would want my parents to be honest with me and I think that you want that from yours too. Just as long as they support your decisions, it doesn't matter what they think of them. If they continue giving you a hard time about it or they do things to prevent you from seeing him at all, (for more than a week) then it becomes a problem. Normal parent stuff like curfews or not letting you go out with him on a particular day, as much as it sucks, it's not really an issue. It's not going to screw up your relationship if you don't let it.


Right now they are just nervous and they don't want you to get hurt. They aren't judging him. Think of it this way. You wouldn't feel comfortable walking down a dark alley at night. You're not judging people that walk through dark alleys, you're just thinking about your safety because you know that there is a greater chance of you getting hurt in a dark alley than on a well lit street. I think that you have really good parents that care a lot. They're in the dark right now and they're scared. You've never dated a guy that was this much older than you and they're not sure about what they should do so they're freaking out inside. Respect them. You don't have to do whatever they want, but respect them because they are focused only on your happiness, not on your boyfriend at all.


They need to get used to this so give them some time. Try to work with them. If they don't want you alone with him, invite him over to your house. Let them get to know him a little. Then work your way up to going out with him and other friends. Then maybe they'll let you go on some one on one dates. They're nervous so build up their trust and they'll eventually let you do anything you want.


It's always better when your parents do approve of course. The best thing you can do to start clearing up this situation is to invite him over to dinner. They'll get to know him and maybe they will feel a little better about you being with him. The next step is to have a mature conversation with them. Sit them down and reassure them that they taught you well and that you're not going to let him influence you. It might be a little embarassing, but tell them that you're not ready for sex yet and that you are strong willed enough to tell him no and strong enough to break up with him if he tries to force anything. Basically, tell them exactly what they want to hear. Then after you're done listen to everything they say and don't argue with it. Tell them that you understand where they are coming from if you don't agree with something they say. It should go pretty well. After that, slowly ease your way into getting to those one on one dates. Good luck!

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So I want to do American Idol next season (Season 7) and I'm not sure what song I want to do, but I want to start practice now. I'm thinking about At Last by Etta James but then I heard Simon's favorite song is Unchained Melody (the song in the movie Ghost). Any suggestions?

Unchained Melody is really hard to sing. I think it would be best to avoid it. He's not going to like you just because you sing his favorite song. He's going to judge your voice just the same. What you need to do is find the song that compliments your voice the most. Unchained Melody probably won't. My advice would be to seek professional advice. Find a voice coach, or trainer, or whatever they call them and get their opinion. I wish you the very best of luck. :)

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how come i only look in one of my eyes? like sometimes it helps if i only look in my left eye, because it has better vision than my right.. and close up when i look with my right eye its pretty blurry, unless i REALLy get up close and personal with the text. i can also read it okay-ish when its faraway... weird. whats your diagnosis? i used to have glasses but even so my right eye vision still wouldnt entirely be clear.. im gonna see a eye doctor when i can.. but like... yeah.

13/f

Everyone has a dominant eye. Some people have a more dominant eye than others, but this is nothing to worry about. I have contacts and I still do what you are describing. Probably to the same degree. You don't need to get corrective lenses unless you have bad vision. Don't go to the eye doctor just yet. It'll cost a chunk of change and if you end up having good vision, it's a waste. Go instead, to your school nurse. You can do a quick eye test there. Your school nurse will be able to tell you whether or not you should see an eye doctor. Good luck! :)

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13/f
sorry this is long!

Lets start...Theres this guy,Cody,we've been best friends since like 4ever.And our moms are too.he used to cum over whenever his mom sold stuff to my mom,but she quit that job so we dont see eachother very much nemore,cause I moved to homeschool and he goes to public school.We've been b/f & g/f like 3 or 4 times b4...and every time i told him that I would NEVER fall 4 him again.But latley i've been finding myself daydreaming about him and getting all exited when he calls,and then when we are done talking i get all 'perky'...Im confused...i even feel like i might even "Love" him!But the thing is...i'm scared he'll hurt me...(not physically) agian...every time we've went out,hes either,broken up with me because he didnt like me nemore or because of a new girl.Hes even cheated on me once!But i forgave him every single time,I dont wana ruin the friendship but I dont wana look baq and think what it coulda been.PLEASE HELP!!!!!! (will rate answers)

It's hard to get over someone. Being friends with them afterwards doesn't help the situation at all. Don't date him again. As much as you like him, he's not right for you right now. He'll continue to break your heart over. The bad news is that if you remain close with him you'll continue to fall for him over and over. Although you probably won't want to take my advice, I think that you should stay away from him for awhile until your feelings have calmed down. It's not that you can't be his friend anymore, but you need some time apart to get the closure you need. Relationships aren't just about liking someone. They're about being compatable with them too. You're not compatable in a relationship with this guy. Maybe in a few years, but for now, it's not going to work out. If you really want this to work, staying away from him for awhile doesn't mean a week. It means however long it takes for your feelings to go away and trust me, it's not going to be a week. It's probably going to be closer to a year. I wish you the best of luck and please, whatever you do, don't date him again. It really isn't going to work.

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About 3 years ago, I fell in love with a band named Queen (as my username states :P). And well...what can I say? It was love at first listen. I FELL IN LOVE with Queen. I started collecting all of their CD's, books, vinyls, shirts, etc. I've had a crazy obsession with them for the past 3 years. My whole ROOM is Queen...I know the group members, and seen the two that are still alive in concert. Queen is all I ever talk and think about...they're like my second group of parents. I don't know whether its sick or not...but I've noticed it's been getting on people's nerves. Teachers have made comments telling me to lay off Queen. SO many friends have been annnoyed by my CONSTANT talk of Queen (I've also lost many friends because of it). Thing is -- I don't know what to do....This is clearly messing my relationships up. But I

You are absolutely fine. I have a friend who is obsessed with the Beatles just as much as you are obsessed with Queen. She constantly talks about them, she writes about them, and everything she owns has to do with them. I think it's really cool. I mean if you can like something that much it shows that you have a lot of passion in you that will reflect into other areas in your life. Passion is a good thing to have. It can get you a good relationship, a good job, and best of all a good life. It can go overboard sometimes, but the people close to you should be understanding of it. As you grow up you'll be able to control it better and know when you've crossed the line. If your friends are treating you badly because of this, they don't care about you as much as they should. Being obsessed with a band is not a big deal. It isn't affecting your life. You're not skipping school or avoiding contact with other people to sit in your room and listen to their music. If your friends think it's dumb, that's their problem and there are other people out there that don't think it's dumb at all. Music is something that'll always be there. Being obsessed with something that could change or leave, say a person, would be unhealthy. It's great that you have come up with a comfort object that is very solid. Most people don't and when it goes away or chances they flip out. You're not going to have that problem. If people are giving you a hard time, find better people to be around. Good luck!

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Hi, I am a 14 year old boy and I'm pretty unsure about my sexuality. I think I'm gay because I have these urges to kiss my best friend, but the thing is when I see a hot girl pass by, I get turned on. So then does that mean I'm a bisexual? I'm really confused and depressed.

Let me pose a question to you. Why does it matter?

I'm not trying to attack you or say that your question is silly so don't mad yet. Hear me out first.

I think that this is a good question even though it's been asked about a million times on this site (next time search through some of the questions that have already been asked - most people don't like repeating their answers over and over).

People these days have become so obsessed and confused with their sexuality. I'm not sure why, but my guess is that its because the gay community has become a more integrated part of society. Now teens feel like they need to make a choice.

When I was in middle school, nobody cared about their sexuality. They just lived their lives and did whatever. Imagine that! Being a teenager has gotten so complicated in the last few years. Teens are pressured to put themselves into very specific categories into which very few people would fit.

I know this is totally cliche, but everyone is different. You don't have to put yourself into any categories. In reality, being a teenager isn't complicated at all. Don't believe that it is and life will be so much easier for you. Don't bother worrying about this kind of thing. It'll get sorted out on its own as it should be.

If you put yourself into a category, there's less of a chance that you will ever really feel comfortable with your sexuality. If you decide right now that you are gay and you aren't, you will become gay just from constantly telling yourself that you are. There is no reason to decide at all at any time in your life. Just be comfortable with whatever feelings that you have. There's no reason to be confused or depressed. Just let things happen as they happen. If you decide you want a girlfriend next month great. If the next month you want to make out with a guy, go for it. This is a time in your life to experiement. Not to find out what you like, but to explore the options that you have. Having a girlfriend doesn't make you straight just like having a boyfriend doesn't make you gay. When you find someone that you like, gay, straight, or in between, all that matters is that you like them. Not what type of relationship it is.

Now for my advice. Don't tell anyone that you are curious about your sexuality. People (especially ones that are your age) are very unaccepting of gay males. If the word gets out, you'll have a really tough time getting through the rest of high school with everyone picking on you about being gay, when that might not be the case. Just play it cool and don't let your attractions to other guys show until college if you are still feeling that way. People are a lot more mature about this kind of thing in college. You'd still get some crap, but most of the time if someone doesn't like you they will just avoid you.

I believe that everyone, no matter how much they object to this, is born bisexual. Your sexuality is determined by your life experiences. It's a real thing, but it's not genetic and it's not something that you have from the beginning. It's something that grows in you as you mature and develop a sexual identity. So, sexuality is determined socially. It isn't determined by how you categorize yourself. It's determined by your thoughts and actions about sexuality toward both of the sexes. Most people are straight because that is the accepted way. Society is structured around heterosexuality. It's easy and it's ingrained in our minds from day one of our lives. Many people don't ever question it. They grow up, have heterosexual relationships, and never think otherwise - consciously anyway. Now, especially that the gay community has become more powerful, heterosexuality isn't as ingrained in our minds. The popular belief now is to be yourself. This always raises the question "well, then what am I?" People don't have that comfort that they used to in just growing up and never being with someone of the same sex in thought or practice. People don't just sit back and let their lives happen as they happen. Now that the comfort is gone, they feel pressured to make a decision.

Even though there are now more options, you can still just let your life happen as it happens. Nothing has really changed. The only thing that has changed is that homosexuality is slightly more accepted. Why should that force you to a decision? It shouldn't!

I can't stand it when 14 year olds go around saying that they are gay or bisexual. Why would they even be thinking about that? How could they possibly even know at that point in their lives? Why can't they just grow up not having to shove it down our throats that they are gay? Who really cares if they're gay anyway? "Straight" people don't do that. You never have to tell your best friend that you are straight, so there's no reason to have to tell them that you're gay. If someone is feeling like you are and wants to be strong and be their "true" selves, they more or less tend to shove their sexuality in your face. A sexuality that is very far from defined no matter how much they want to believe it is. If it was defined they wouldn't feel the need to shout it out to the world. In any case, don't be like that. It's annoying.

Again, there is no reason to make a choice. Do what feels right. You're not straight, gay, or bisexual. You are you. If you really feel like you need to make a decision in order to sleep at night, just say to yourself that you are bisexual. That leaves all your options open. Please don't make any decision permanant. Good luck. :)

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So as usual I was rambling to one of my friends and he like out of no where decided to mention that day after the recital...After a violin recital, i was packing up my violin and this guy who was like 50 (his little son plays violin too) came up to me and started caressing my arm going "That was really really good. That was fantastic." blah blah and I'm standing thinking "WTF GET THE H*** OFF ME!" (it took place for like a minute of him touching my arm and ew) and then my other friend who just now heard of that incident was like "Oh remember that one time. We were at the gas station (her dad needed to put gas in the car)." and I was like oh yeah...and this story goes: She was like, "Don't look to your left." and of course, me with my curiosity look to my left and there are two guys checking me out with one of them being the other guys DAD. And I was like erm...can we go now when they like smiled and winked at me. And my OTHER friend was like "HA, older guys are attracted to you." and i was like hmm...that seems partially true considering this dude working at a store was smiling and looking at me the whole time.

has this happened to anyone before and the thought that older guys are attracted to you go across anyone's head...?

14/f btw and I do not enjoy having 40yr olds checkin me out.

I'm sure it's happened to a lot of people. There's no harm in them looking, but when they start touching your arm, that is crossing a line. Do not let that guy touch you again. It's completely unacceptable. If you are thinking "WTF GET THE H*** OFF ME" please say it, or something a little nicer and calmer in the least. You need to let him know how you feel about his actions even if he doesn't do it again. Be honest with him and if you hurt his feelings oh well. If he tries anything again I think that you should report him. Remember that not all older men are dirty pedophiles. With all the crap we see in the media, that stereotype is easy to put on people. Some older guys may be looking at you for other reasons. Maybe they're laughing to themselves about how ridiculous your clothes are (since they're old and have no style and all). Maybe they're remembering when they were your age and wishing they were again. Maybe you did something weird and those two guys thought it was funny. Don't be so quick to decide that older men are "checking you out". In most cases they probably aren't. Good luck.

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First of all, I have been in a very calm, steady & fulfilling relationship. The person I am involved with completes me. I am emotionally dependent. I centered my whole 4 yrs. never cheated, always thoughtful and caring. However, just two days ago, we had a heart to heart talk. We both feel it is time to move on. No 3rd party involved on both our part but I guess we both feel it is time to move on. The hard part is that I want to cling, remain & continue but I know in doing so I will completely lose myself. Right now, I am suffering. Have anxiety attacks & feel like my stomach turns upside down. Part of me died too.

Please don't ask me details why do we have to part ways... All I am saying is that it is time to do it. My question is --- what should i do to feel once more... What should I do to stop the nervous attacks? What should I do to stop being emotionally dependent. I am tearing apart. Anyone??? Please...

Knowing why you had to split up would be very helpful to us. You don't have to tell us, but hey, it's not like anybody on here knows you so what's the harm? It being "time to move on" doesn't seem like a very good reason for a breakup to me. It sounds like you both have committment problems if you're not offering any other reasons. That's a whole other problem in itself. Knowing what the problem actually is would help me and others on the site understand you and what you're going through. If you don't open up to us we are very limited in how much we can help. Right now, all I can tell you is that you need someone to talk to about this, probably a counselor or psychologist. Sorry if I offended you by asking exactly what you told us not to ask, but gosh if you really want help you're going to have to tell someone about it. Good luck.

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Im 17 and have been masterbating since I was 12, but A few hour ago I masterbated using a vibrator(it wasnt my first time either) and was going really fast, and a little hard, and when I was done I was bleeding, i bled for about and hour almost as mush as my period, but even though the bleeding stoped i feel a weird feeling in my gut and when I pee, can you help me out here, Is this normal?

You're fine. Just take it easy with the masturbating for a few days so you can heal. If the pain doesn't get better in that time, see a doctor. :)

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I tried doing something and I guess it was a horrible idea after all.
I'll tell you the situation.
Kay well theres this boy[jimmy], me and my friend like but he doesnt talk to us that much anymore.
We decided to mess around and we made a screename, as if we were someone else [jenny].
We talked to him 2 nights in a row for like 5 hours, he even stayed up talking to "jenny" .
He never really knew her that well at all, becuase they are in different grades but they have like gym or computer the same period, so they see eachother on occasions.
The reason we chose to be Jenny was because Jenny was the best friend of Caroline, the girl Jimmy likes.
Continuing with the situation,he seemed to be nice and talk to Jenny online, he would always have something to talk about and try and make conversation.
He kinda started to flirt with her online.
Then on Monday,after the weekend of doing this, we realized something... what if he says something to Jenny about the IM's online.
She has no idea we did this, but what if Jimmy started to like her.
I figured that we wouldnt go on the screename again and just leave it at that until i saw Jimmy's BEST friend randomly talking to Jenny , they never talk!
Im scared that Jimmy told his best friend about her and now they might like her!
Me and my friend feel so dumb for doing this, even though it was fun
But what should we do!

I was on the edge of my seat reading your question, wow. Well, Jimmy is going to figure out that it's not really Jenny eventually. If Jenny finds out it doesn't really matter because she has no way of knowing that it was you. Breathe easy. This situation isn't as bad as it seems.

I have to options for you. The first one is to continue talking to Jimmy pretending that you are Jenny. It's fun. If you keep doing it, he'll figure things out and eventually ask you if you are really Jenny. That's when you confess and say you're not. He'll be mad and maybe hurt, but it's too late to stop that. It's not like he'll know that it was you and it's not like it's a hard thing to get over. Everybody knows that you can never know who is really talking to you online. It's his own fault even though you guys were the ones that did it.

Your other option is to just tell him now. Go on the screenname and tell him that you're not really Jenny and that you're sorry. Don't tell him who you are and act normal in school. Again, he'll get over it and be just fine.

If you stop talking to him on the screenname altogether, he might not ever know that it wasn't really Jenny. That isn't right. You'll have to tell him in some way. Now or later doesn't really matter. It could get really funny if you keep it up. If you feel the need to come clean though, do it.

Pretending to be other people online is fun. There's no doubt about that. It can definintely get messy though, so next time be prepared for the consequences. Good luck! :)

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16/F
alright so im 16 and i have yet to have my first kiss, or first real boyfriend, and its not like im ugly or anything, as a matter of fact, im really kinda pritty. (not to over confident of myself though) anyways, i like this guy, and he lives down the street from me. we've talked a couple of times, and he's a grade older than me, any suggestions on how i can maybe get him to like me, with out major flirting,
(im not real good at that)also im really bubbly around my friends but i get kinda shy around him. any suggestions of how to get him to like me?


You seem self confident. That is good. It's great that you know you're pretty. That will help you out in getting his attention and keeping it. The best way to get someone thinking about you and possibly to get them liking you if they don't already, is to let them know that you like them.

If you know that someone likes you, you start to notice them more and perhaps start liking them back. For example, lets say your best friend tells you that a guy that's not in any of your classes that is average looking that you never noticed before told her that he liked you. It would make you curious. It feels great to be liked by someone. So great that the feelings can easily become mutual.

Most people let others know that they like them by flirting. Flirting, though, is beating around the bush. Does they like me or don't they? It's not hard to tell, but nobody wants to get hurt, so most people don't come to a conclusion until they are sure. Flirting isn't going to make anyone sure. It breaks the ice and makes telling the person that you like them easier, but doesn't do much else for you. If flirting isn't your thing, that's perfectly fine.

So, what you need to do is find a way to let him know that you like him. Start a rumor, send a note, flat out tell him, have a friend tell him, whatever you feel comfortable with. All you have to do is get him thinking about you. That will open the doors for a relationship. If you choose not to flat out tell him and get him noticing you in a different way, sometime soon after he starts thinking about you, you'll have to tell him yourself that you like him. Confirm it. Face to face. It's going to be hard and you're going to be scared to death, but nothing's going to happen if he doesn't know for sure especially since you aren't really close with him yet.

Good luck!

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What should I tell my parents that I have so many cuts in my school? Im in the 10th grade. My parents got a letter showing all the absences. What should I do?

Admit your mistakes. You're not going to get through school if you keep skipping. Everyone already knows that you are skipping so there's no use in trying to lie about it. If you were doing things you shouldn't have been while you were not in school, for example smoking pot, it's your choice whether you want to fess up to it or not. Your parents are going to find out sometime and better sooner than later. The punishment will be much smaller if you tell them now.

Now lets talk about the punishment you are putting yourself through. Whatever reason you are leaving school for is probably a good one. I have a lot of respect for the choices other people make. Even if there is a good reason for you to do it, it is still the wrong choice. I'm pretty sure you know that. Try to stop skipping. If you are doing something you shouldn't be while skipping, try to stop that too. Not skipping will help you out now (you'll get out of trouble), in the near future (you'll graduate) and in the distant future (you won't lose your job because you kept skipping work).

It will take some time and effort to get caught back up in school. Once you do get caught up keep up. If you don't fall behind and seek out the help that you need, school is easy. You may think that skipping is making it easier and making it so you don't have to do work, but you're totally wrong. If you don't graduate high school, you're going to have a much higher chance of getting a crappy job and having a crappy, hard life. Try to think in the long term instead of the short term. I wish you the best of luck. :)

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Hello everyone. I am a first time flier and I am worried about the security check thing. We are flying with Southwest if that helps any. I know most of the rules and I've visted the TSA website but I'm still a bit confused.

1. Can I carry on a camera, my makeup, and my cellphone?

My main concern is make-up.

2. If I decide to put my make-up in my luggage (the luggage they throw around) and it goes through the scanner thing, and they see it, would they open my luggage, exposing my clothes and everything to take the make-up out?

3. If anything liquid or gel is in my luggage will they take it out?

4. If I dont want them to throw away anything or confinscate anything should I put it in my luggage?

5. I also read that the checked baggage screening can damage undeveloped film, does that include the memory card of a digital camera?

6. Also, what about purfume? That is flammable. Would they raid my luggage to retrieve that as well?

7. Could I pack an underwire bra in my luggage and they wont touch it?

The answers you have gotten already are very good and very complete. I would like to add that if you are still feeling nervous, visit the website for the airport where you are beginning your trip from and the airport where you are beginning your return trip from. That's what I did when I flew in October. All the information I needed about security was on those websites. Any airports that you'll be visiting in the middle of your trips don't matter. You don't have to go through security at those. If the websites don't answer your questions, call the airport. They should be very helpful. Good luck! :)

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Would you have sex with a fat ugly girl?

Less attractive people aren't going to be the ones that other people lust after. That's just how it is. They're not going to have a lot of casual sex, but lust, casual sex, and sex are very different things.

Lust is basically someone that you are physically attracted to. Someone that you would think about while masturbating if you are into that. Less attractive people will have less people lusting after them.

Casual sex is sex for pleasure. When there are no feelings involved, you get more pleasure out of having sex with someone that you feel lust for. Less attractive people, therefore, will get less casual sex, too.

With sex, or lets call it "love-making", the pleasure doesn't come just from being with someone hot. The pleasure can come from within also. Feelings play a huge role with sex if you are in a relationship.

The sad part is that less attractive people don't have as many relationships when they are younger as more attractive people do. That gives them less confidence, making themselves even more unattractive. Teenagers' hormones are raging and it's easy for them to confuse lust and love during those years as they are maturing. I did. Sadly, some people don't mature in this area at all. Yes, it's always nice to love someone that is also hot, but love doesn't always work that way.

So, less attractive people get less sex because they aren't the object of many people's desires. The sex they get, however, is meaningful and that is important.

I know this is a huge generalization, but I've heard this from many guys (mature ones) and noticed it a bit myself. Less attractive girls tend to be nicer and they are better for having relationships with. Attractive girls can let their attractiveness get to their heads and their personalities can suffer. The guys that I have talked to admit not going after very attractive girls for this reason. They go for less attractive girls with the hopes that they will hit the jackpot with personality.

It might take them awhile to mature into thinking this way, but there are a lot of guys out there that think like this. Of course they want to get with someone hot...we all do. They'll of course try to get with someone that's hot before someone that's not. However, some of them know that sex can be just as good with someone that's less attractive if the other feelings are there. As much as people want to be with someone hot in the short term, they want to end up with someone that's going to be good for them in the long term - hot or not.

If you are making a joke by asking this question, I hope that you don't think low of less attractive people. I really hope that you were just curious.

If you yourself feel fat and ugly and want to know your chances with sex, confidence is the best way to remedy this. I know a lot of bigger girls that are very self confident. They don't pretend they're really good looking and wear clothes that are too small or anything like that. They just would never feel fat or ugly. They know they are bigger and they know that there are more attractive people out there. They're not living in fairyland. They just want to be the best person that they can. Confidence is a straight path to success. :)

Your answer: Yes, some guys will have sex with fat, ugly girls. I know several. If I were a guy I would consider it too. It's not what anybody wants, but it can become so if you give the girl a chance.

Last, I want to say something about all the "vaginas are vaginas" comments. It's not that if the person is ugly you don't have to look at their face. That's a terrible way of interpreting it. Interpret it in a more positive way. Whether you're hot or not the guy isn't going to be looking at your face anyways. He's going to be focusing on other things. Guys can look at girl's faces whenever they want. Why waste the time looking at faces when they can look at other things that they don't get to see quite as often?

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Guys how much do you think about having sex on a scale of 1-10 everday

I'm not sure if this question is directed just towards the male population or if by "guys" you meant people. In any case, it depends on what you mean by "thinking about". You can check someone out without thinking about having sex with them. You can make a joke about sex without actually thinking about the sex act. You can get turned on without thinking about sex. You can think about sex without actually imagining it.

It depends on the person more than anything. Some people have high sex drives, while others don't. Some people have their time occupied by other things and don't have the free time to let their minds linger on sex. Some people mature later, so they may not start thinking about sex until they're 16 or 17. Some people think it is wrong to think about sex so they try to avoid it. Gender can be a factor to an extent. There are lots of girls out there that think about sex more often than a lot of guys do.

From what I've been told by friends and what I know for myself, it isn't a huge number if by "think about" you mean imagine. I would say 2-4 would be the average.

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ok there is this boy talon and i still like him but i dumped him because he lied about dancing with 2 girls it was 4 and he never asked his own gf to dance but they asked him and they he lied about flirting he flirted with 2 girls and he talks to them more them me but he loves me alot and i love him but he keeps on saying sorry for everything he does what should i do ask him back out or stay single

Don't be so jealous. You need to trust him some more. Yeah, it was really crappy of him not to ask you to dance and to lie, but you can't blame him for dancing with those other girls. They asked him to dance so he was just being nice. It's not like he asked them to dance and didn't ask you. Maybe he was really nervous or shy. Why didn't you ask him to dance like the other girls did? There was nothing preventing you from dancing with him. That would have solved all your problems. If the answer is because you were nervous, your boyfriend is a person too. Yeah, he's the guy and he's "supposed" to do the asking, but he has the same feelings as you do. Maybe he just couldn't get past them.

I'm sure your boyfriend is rather good looking. Other girls are going to like him. Nobody can help that. You're going to have to learn to live with that. What matters isn't that they like him or that they try to get with him, it's that he doesn't like them back. All he did was dance with them after they asked. Other girls will be trying to make moves on him all the time. There is nothing wrong with that. There is no reason to be jealous at all. He is going out with you, not them. He likes you and has no feelings for them whatsoever.

Even though he lied and even though he didn't dance with you and everything, I think that you should give him one more chance. He's probably being sincere when he says that he is sorry. If you do choose to give him another chance, the next time you go to a dance with him, ask him to dance yourself. Once the ice is broken things will be much easier.

If he lies again, he's not worth keeping around. That was a stupid thing to lie about. If he continues lying about things that don't matter, you can't really trust him not to lie about things that do. Good luck. :)

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well alright the other night me and my boyfriend were planning on having sex. I was prepared, or so i thought. I expected sex to hurt since i was still a virgin and all but it hurt way more than i could take. As a result i pushed him back and we tried again. But i was in so much pain i couldnt do it. After he felt like it was all his fault and i know its all mine. he thought he pressured me into it and i told him that it just was not enjoyable for me and it was extremely painful. He got all quiet and i tried to kiss him, he didnt kiss back. Later we were talking and he said i just feel like i ruined my chance with you. I was overcome with saddness and found myself in tears that i could not control. He then felt like a complete jerk and started blaming himself and telling me i am the only girl he ever had loved also that if i didnt want we dont have to have sex. What should i do about this?

It wasn't a good experience for either of you. He is probably just disappointed. The first time you have sex is "supposed to be" really special and such. Reassure him that even though it wasn't perfect that it was still special and that your feelings haven't changed about him at all. Keep reassuring him that it's not his fault, too. It's nobody's fault. Neither of you could have helped it. Things like this happen. He knows it, but your love and support will make him feel a lot better about what happened. For now, you can have your boyfriend try stretching you out a bit with his fingers. When you're both ready, you can try intercourse again. It will get better. Good luck and remember to use protection.

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heyy well ill cut to the chase. i have a boy friend and weve been going out for 2 months and i love him sooo much ... but i went on vacation a lil while ago and i cant seem to get this one guy out of my head. the guy and i didnt talk that much but when we did i could tell he had something for me just by the way he smiled but i would never do anything with him cause i love my boyfriend. the thing is idk what to do now i talked to the kid on the computure and he told me that i caught his attention the most and if he didnt get with a girl while we were away that he would of talked to me more and when i told him i had a boyfriend he said the girls he liked always do and i feel bad cause i dont like making ppl feel bad... like ill be in class and just sit there and hell pop up in my head and ill laugh but i dont like him like that i just dk wat to do........

confused =/

shortcake90 is right. He's guilt tripping you. He's trying to make you feel bad for him so that you go out with him.

"if he didn't get with a girl while we were away"
He seems like he could be somewhat of a player too. If he were really that interested in you he would have tried to make a move on you, or at least talked to you more, not been with some other girl.

It's always nice to get attention. It's always nice to be liked by someone. It feels good. However, you can't let that feeling get in the way of what you already have. What you have with your boyfriend seems really special. Don't compromise your relationship with him by letting this other guy into your life too much. Your boyfriend hasn't done anything wrong. There doesn't seem to be any reason to even think about leaving him.

Forget about this guy. He seems like nothing but trouble. Good luck. :)

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My average day, foodwise, consists of this: 2 pieces of wheat toast, cheese cubes, and coffee (breakfast.). Half peanut butter sandwhich, sunchips, granola (lunch). Chips and salsa (snack), Lean Cuisine veggie frozen meal (dinner). I drink a bottle and a half of water a day and treadmill for 30 minutes.

Any tips for changes I can make to lose 10 pounds quick? Healthy.

30 minutes on the treadmill every day will help you out a lot. That's a great plan. Don't overdo it though. Take a day off per week and take it slow or rest if you need to in the beginning. Set goals for yourself. Try increasing your speed over a span of a few weeks. :)

Don't worry about your diet so much. Don't plan out such a strict menu. That isn't healthy at all. If you are working out for 30 minutes each day, you will need more energy. It doesn't look like you are eating very much. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't be able to make it on just a half of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch. Eat the regular amount of food. Don't diet. Just eat healthy. Healthy eating will help you just as much as dieting will, probably more. If you're confused, healthy eating basically means that you avoid overeating and foods that are bad for you. You don't have to eat less and you don't have to eat foods that are overly good for you.

Dieting, unless you are working with a doctor or dietician, is generally useless. People that are dieting on their own tend to eat less food and have very little variety, which is what it seems you are planning on doing. They'll lose some weight only to gain it back again. They become obsessed with the number of pounds that they weigh instead of how they look. It's even worse if you want to lose weight quickly. The bottom line is that you can't lose weight quickly. It takes some time so be patient about it.

The exercise will help you lose 10 pounds on its own if you aren't too small to begin with and if you are dedicated. Don't get obsessed with how much food you are eating and what you are eating. Don't get obsessed with the number on the scale. Don't even think about it. My advice for you is to throw that scale away. Look in the mirror instead. Be proud when you put on a pair of pants and they are too loose. That's what you want. 10 pounds means nothing. Exercise will tone your body and help you lose fat. You will gain muscle from it, which may not decrease your weight. If you are obsessed with how much you weigh, you'll completely lose sight of your actual goal (look good by getting smaller) and completely overdo it. You could potentially get smaller and look better without loosing any weight at all. You would probably lose some though of course. :)

I wish you the best of luck! If you want professional advice, message the columnist MikeCFT. :)

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