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boy vs. parents/.
14(freshman)/f
i really like this guy, and his name is jack. like really i've never liked someone so much, and i have had alot of serious relationships before. anyway. he is a junior (16). and he likes me back. my parents are kind of being stupid about the whole situation because he is so much older. liek they dont let me hang out with him or anything, and they are like really over-protective when it comes to him. i dont really know how to deal with it, they just seem not acceptable to the whole thing. i mean, i do good in school and so does he. and like i think they are judging him just cuz hes older. they think all he wants to do is get in my pants, and like.. he says he actually cares about me a lot and wouldnt push me to do anything. which is good cuz i think im to young to do anythign serious. any ideas? please help!
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If your parents don't like him, they don't like him. I can understand why this is hard for you since they haven't done this with any of your past relationships. I can assure you though, that this is normal parent stuff and you shouldn't let it bother you.
It doesn't sound like they are actually doing anything about it except voicing their disapproval. They are entitled not to like your choices. I would want my parents to be honest with me and I think that you want that from yours too. Just as long as they support your decisions, it doesn't matter what they think of them. If they continue giving you a hard time about it or they do things to prevent you from seeing him at all, (for more than a week) then it becomes a problem. Normal parent stuff like curfews or not letting you go out with him on a particular day, as much as it sucks, it's not really an issue. It's not going to screw up your relationship if you don't let it.
Right now they are just nervous and they don't want you to get hurt. They aren't judging him. Think of it this way. You wouldn't feel comfortable walking down a dark alley at night. You're not judging people that walk through dark alleys, you're just thinking about your safety because you know that there is a greater chance of you getting hurt in a dark alley than on a well lit street. I think that you have really good parents that care a lot. They're in the dark right now and they're scared. You've never dated a guy that was this much older than you and they're not sure about what they should do so they're freaking out inside. Respect them. You don't have to do whatever they want, but respect them because they are focused only on your happiness, not on your boyfriend at all.
They need to get used to this so give them some time. Try to work with them. If they don't want you alone with him, invite him over to your house. Let them get to know him a little. Then work your way up to going out with him and other friends. Then maybe they'll let you go on some one on one dates. They're nervous so build up their trust and they'll eventually let you do anything you want.
It's always better when your parents do approve of course. The best thing you can do to start clearing up this situation is to invite him over to dinner. They'll get to know him and maybe they will feel a little better about you being with him. The next step is to have a mature conversation with them. Sit them down and reassure them that they taught you well and that you're not going to let him influence you. It might be a little embarassing, but tell them that you're not ready for sex yet and that you are strong willed enough to tell him no and strong enough to break up with him if he tries to force anything. Basically, tell them exactly what they want to hear. Then after you're done listen to everything they say and don't argue with it. Tell them that you understand where they are coming from if you don't agree with something they say. It should go pretty well. After that, slowly ease your way into getting to those one on one dates. Good luck!
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hey, well first of all he is not "so much older then you". hes only two years older and age difference shouldnt matter. invite him over the house to have dinner with your parents. let them get to know the real him before they keep judging him and eventually push him out of your life.
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The best thing is for your parents to approve of him. They are above you and there is nothing you can do about that till your moved out of there. You can have your parents meet him and talk and stuff. It might be sorta embaressing but it might work out for the best. So I hope everything goes well!
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maybe you can have your parents meet him and like talk 2 him & stuff..
yeah it would be kinda embarrassing but it might be the only way that they will approve of you going out w/ him
hope it all works out
xoxoxo
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