about

You see that man in that picture? That is me. I'm metal as all holy heck and I will give you answers so metal, you'll grow a beard. Even if you're a teenage girl.

So throw a question my way? "I like this guy and this guy, what do I do?" PICK THE ONE WHO LIKES METAL! "I've been feeling depressed lately, what should I do?" LISTEN TO SOME METAL! "I need help with my pre-calc homework." THE ANSWER IS METAL!

I can handle it all, I will not shy away from any question. May the metal be with you!

advice

I got this awesome bag thing for my birthday yesterday, and it`s way too big for a purse, so i was wondering what i sohuld use it for.
http://www.ae.com/web/browse/product.jsp?rcid=womens&scid=cat90052&sscid=&navroot=womens&productId=0427_7380 I got mine in tan

Carrying dead bodies...LOL JK ROFL! In all seriousness, USE YOUR IMAGINATION! What you think can take you to new heights!

[view]

what should i do if my girlfriend being stalked like online and i have the stuff he has sent her

Alert the authorities!

[view]

ok well.. i met this friend on the internet.. she love billie joe armstrong like i do... but she is saying she is going to california for the summer and is going to STALK him and search through his garbage!!!!!!I told her that is wrong and he had a right to his own privacy... but then.... he's hot!(laughing) well... i know that is freaky.. and she is getting herself into some serious trouble.. she said she wouldn't do it.. but my main question is.. what kind of trouble will she get into?

LOL This is a stupid question. She isn't really going to do that, so why would you post it on this website? The only thing that's going to happen is....well nothing because it's not going to happen. HOPE I HELPED.

[view]

I just got a great new boyfriend. But I'm totally afraid to kiss him because I've never kissed anyone before and everyone's like you'll know how to do and stuff but srsly, I don't know if I go on the top lip, bottom lip, what? I'm so confused. And also, how can I not have bad breath while making out with him? It seems no matter how hard I brush my teeth and stuff I always seem to have bad breath!!! Gum solves the problem but i cant have gum when I make out. Please help, thanks. Love, Chels.

Just don't kiss anyone for your entire life.

[view]

If bisexuality doesn't "exsist," then how does one account for the people whom are equally attracted to both men and women?

The scientific study that showed that 99% of bisexual men are really gay, and 99% of bisexual women are straight. There are exceptions, but not enough for it to be an actual sexual preference.

[view]

I'm 14/f, here's the story. Ever since I've been on the basketball team with one of my best friends I've been feeling this weird pull towards her that I haven't really felt with any of my other friends (guys or girls) and at first I tried to shake it off but now everytime she talks to me I have to fight not to blush and if she's close to me I have to bite my lip not to say anything stupid. God I'm really messed up aren't I? I'm supposed to like guys not girls and certainly not my best friend! Can anyone tell me if this is normal? If not then how do I stop it? I rate high, please and thnx!

Sometimes when you spend A LOT of time with someone, same sex or not, you might get a similar feeling to an attraction towards them. It may not be a romantic thing, but more of a closeness to them. I seriously doubt you've randomly turned into a lesbian.

[view]

i think i may be a lesbian or bi! i have a boy friend whom i love but when i read things about girls and boys having sex it just grosses me out. but when i read about two girls i get sooo horny! i love my boyfriend but i just am really sexually attracted to girls.... i can't be... can I?

You better hope you're a lesbian, because bisexuality doesn't exsist.

[view]

15/f

i have a guy friend, who i talk to a lot and we have fun together in our group and stuff. i really like him and some of my close friends know too, and they all think that we would make a good couple, and so do i. i really like him, and he is super sweet and smart, just not the most flirtatious of guys, which may be one reason why i like him so much. anyways, we have a boy and girl sleepover tommorrow and later we have a dance. i dont know if he likes me that way or not, but i have no idea how he would show it if he did. My friends say that they see him "flirting" a little, but i just see him being a friend. is there anything i can do to let him know i am interested without making myself look foolish ,maybe at the sleepover or at school?

Give him a piece of paper that says, "Do you like me? [] Yes [] No." This is a sure fire way to tell if he likes you or not.

[view]

I have a situation. I'm hanging out with my friends tomorrow and it will be mostly outside in the woods. Anyway, it's supposed to be around 45 degrees outside. What can I wear and still look cute in? I want to stay warm! female//15. thanks!

You're going to be in the woods!!! Unless you're trying to find a hot date with a brown bear, I'd suggest going more for warm than cute.

[view]

There is this guy. We have never actually talked in person but he instant messaged me and we got to talking. We talked for a while and he told me a secret. A huge secret. I have never been told such a big secret before. Now it is incredibly weird around him at school. I fell like i know him so well but yet I dont. It is so awkward. We dont really talk anymore but knowing that I know his secret is just weird. I am the only one that he ever told. I cant even talk to him unless it is over a instant messenger. How do i make this situation not awkward.

Tell everyone in school. When everyone knows, it wont be as akward.

[view]

i want to know the early pregnancy signs, to see whether i have conceived or not

From what I understand, after doing the act of sexual intercourse, you and the man you made love to will instantly fall asleep. Then you'll hear a lullaby playing while you sleep. The next day when you wake up, a thought bubble will appear with a pacifier and a question mark. This is when you know you're pregnant. It's a good thing I play the Sims 2 or I wouldn't know this.

[view]

hi...im 16/f
here's my problem...im dating this guy named john and hes very nice, caring, sweet...i like him very much but the only problem is that his 7 years older than me...hes 23 yrs old,is it ok if hes older than me?

To me it's weird that you're probably a sophomore in high school and he could already have his 4 year degree and then some.

[view]

i have limewire and sometimes when i download songs i get some popups and my computer gets slower, so what are some things i have to watch out for when i download songs ..any hints?

ps. i know that after i download the song i right click it and click on unshare file, what else?

Your computer is going slower because you're downloading stuff. When there's a lot going on, things slow down. The pop ups however, you'll just have to deal with or get a pop up blocker.

[view]

There is this guy that probably use to like me cause he kept talking to my best friend about me and he told her that he really likes me. I thought it was kinda weird since he is like the really popular jock and I'm not that great looking at all. I assume that he probably got over it since itz been a while. why is it that the guys that flirt with a lot of girls don't really make a move on the girl that they actually like?

Because we're honry assholes?

[view]

I was wondering if there is a website to keep a ten year old occupied on. I would like it to have no pictures or videos or music and the most obvious one no porn. Also no viruses and adware/spyware. Oh and no games.

You might as well not let them go on the internet if that's the case. You've seriously narrowed it down a website that has nothing but the bible typed out on it.

[view]

I met a guy on an online dating site. After just a couple of days he told me he wanted to meet me. The kicker was that he said he didn't have a car, and that I would have to drive up to see him. Remember, I've never met him, and really don't know that much about him except what he wrote about himself. At first I said yes that I would drive up after work on Saturday, but then my gut feeling and intuition were telling me not to do it. So I emailed him and cancelled the date and told him I wasnt comfortable with the arrangement, and that I would prefer he come up to see me. He wrote back and told me that the reason he didnt have a car was that he was taking public transit to save money, and that he wouldnt have a car until May. Then he said he asked to meet me too soon, and would still like to meet me. My gut feeling is telling me that this guy is a little desperate, and I want to back out of the whole thing.
I don't want to hurt his feelings. What would be a nice way to end things with him, and do you think he'll get angry? I told him at first that I wouldnt mind still sending him some getting to know you emails, but I don't even want to do that anymore. I'm thinking realistically, how is this potential relationship going to work? The guy doesnt even live in the same town as me and deosnt have a car.
Would I be a super bitch if I told him I didn't think this would be a good idea?

I'd say don't worry about it. People on the internet are weird most of the time (I've met a few complete nutcases), though sometimes they can be cool (I've also met some good friends). If he's not willing to continue talking on the internet for now, he probably has some sort of hidden agenda by meeting you, and you should just forget him.

[view]


Hey, I'm 17/f
I was just wondering... how can you tell if you are in love? Are there signals he'll send you? I need any kind of advice because I think I'm in love but I'm not sure.

Thanks in advance!

There really isn't a "sign" you're in love. You just kinda know.

[view]

What do you think is the average age to get your first kiss?

I had mine at 19, no joke. It all depends on when you happen to do it.

[view]

ohkay, so im like a reeeaalllly slow runner when it comes to ... running? i get 12 minutes on my miles and i dont know what im doing wrong. i weigh 110lbs. im not fat but not stickly skinny. can anyone tell me how i can run faster and make it easier for me to run without getting tired?

Run more often. The more you run, the easier it will be. Pretty soon you'll be running fast miles and not even noticing it.

[view]

There are these freshman in my art class and they're sooo annoying! I'm pretty preppy and they think I'm sometimes overly preppy..but hey, that's just me.
Anyways, they always give me dirty looks and they talk about me..I know it. Like I see them talking about me. I don't know why they hate me...I've never done anything to them! I always try to be nice & smile to everyone! Should I confront them and ask them? Please help!

Some kids just hate people because of their social stereotype. It's stupid and they're stupid for thinking that. I'd just say fuck them, they're not worth you time. Let them be immature and stupid and you can be the better person by ignoring it.

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
humorist-workshop
eXTReMe Tracker