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humorist-workshop
I want out-but he's so persistant
I met a guy on an online dating site. After just a couple of days he told me he wanted to meet me. The kicker was that he said he didn't have a car, and that I would have to drive up to see him. Remember, I've never met him, and really don't know that much about him except what he wrote about himself. At first I said yes that I would drive up after work on Saturday, but then my gut feeling and intuition were telling me not to do it. So I emailed him and cancelled the date and told him I wasnt comfortable with the arrangement, and that I would prefer he come up to see me. He wrote back and told me that the reason he didnt have a car was that he was taking public transit to save money, and that he wouldnt have a car until May. Then he said he asked to meet me too soon, and would still like to meet me. My gut feeling is telling me that this guy is a little desperate, and I want to back out of the whole thing.
I don't want to hurt his feelings. What would be a nice way to end things with him, and do you think he'll get angry? I told him at first that I wouldnt mind still sending him some getting to know you emails, but I don't even want to do that anymore. I'm thinking realistically, how is this potential relationship going to work? The guy doesnt even live in the same town as me and deosnt have a car.
Would I be a super bitch if I told him I didn't think this would be a good idea?
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go with your intuition you dont wanna be kicking yourself in the ass later. he doesnt sound like he can afford to be dating unless you dont mind pinching pennies and taking the transit on a date. i dont mean to sound mean to him but if a man is in a situation alone like that the last thing he needs to do is start dating until he get all this stuff taken care of. as far as being a nice guy ... yeah he may be the sweetest thing in the world but there are many sweet men out there and how often is he online cause you definitly dont need to be with a guy that has no life and is online all the time. i just imaagine a guy sitting online trolling for women for his own selfish reason when in reality he has no stability to offer if you fell in love and it became serious. unless these things are things you can tolerate ... cause who knows how long he'll be in his situation,,,i wouldnt meet him tell him that you dont feel the timing is right and you dont want to start something with a man in another town at this time. tell him you arent saying you cant be email buddies and keep in touch but you just dont feel comfortable with the current feelings you have.good luck. and remember you really dont know him so dont feel guilty for all you know he may not be a thing like he says he may be sitting in front of a computer in a old motel waiting and luring women to him. be careful
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Well sweetie, most internet dating sites have alot of guys on there that are extremely desperate, with anger problems, possible pedifiles and want to meet up with people because their lonely. Sometimes they make up excuses as to why they cant drive to see you because they want to lure you to their house. (not trying to scare you, just being realistic). Chances are he could have been lying about who he is this whole time. I do think it is sort of soon for him to ask that considering you dont know much about him. I also wouldnt drive to a town you dont know, to meet a guy you dont know, alone. Whenever I have met someone off the internet, in person, I bring a few guy friends with me, lol. So i know if anything happens and the guy tries anything my friends are there to back me up. So maybe you should bring a guy best friend if you want to go through with it. If you still decide you dont want too just tell the guy that you just got out of a relationship and are having wierd feelings about meeting him or even talking to him. Tell him you enjoyed chatting with him while you did, and that your sorry. (Of course its a lie, but he doesnt know that =D ). Also, dont think about being a bitch about it. Your not, you just dont feel right talking to him and you should go with gut instincts. If he gets mad, oh well. Theres not much he can do about it.
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download this song. josh tobin- she fricken blocked me. my advice is to block him from contacting you anymore. he sounds kinda creepy so i think that is what i would do. good luck.
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You did the right thing by following you gut.
If you are not comfortable with him; Tell him just that. Just be honest, being honest will not make you any less of a good person. =D
Hope I helped.
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Hidden agendas, murder? I'd hate to disagree with prior comments, but nothing here show's evidence of any of this. At most, all this means is he's interested in you and wants to meet you. Desperate? Trust me, you won't find much else on dating sites. But still, if you feel you should break off ties with this guy, then do it. If you want to cushion the blow as softly as possible, be completely and thoroughly honest with him. Tell him that this doesn't even seem like it would work. He doesn't live in the same town and he is currently carless. If he's still persistent, tell him he's being too persistent. In all honesty, he's locked onto you, so he isn't going to walk away unscathed. If he does become way too persistent, the least you could do is tell him that and perhaps prevent him from doing the same thing to someone else. There's no way you can be a super bitch with honesty and letting him know what he's doing wrong for future reference.
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No, youre just being honest.If you dont feel comfortable talking and emailing with this guy, then you dont have to. Also, are you sure its safe to actually meet him in person? He could be a murderer or something. How old are you? And how old is this guy? He's most likely desperate to meet you, because A, hes either desperate to have a relationship, or B, he's getting ready to kill you. No offense. lol. But, deffinitly tell him how you feel even if it hurts his feelings. If you arent comfortable doing something, then no one can stop you from saying how you feel. Good Luck hun, hope everything wokrs out.
-Brina
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You do what you think is right. If you don't want to meet this guy, then don't. I wouldn't ever meet anyone off of the internet personally. This guy is just someone off of the computer, if you just block him and don't talk to him, he will probably get the point. Or, you could just tell him that you don't feel the need to meet him at all.
I hope you do the right thing.
♥
xXx
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I'd say don't worry about it. People on the internet are weird most of the time (I've met a few complete nutcases), though sometimes they can be cool (I've also met some good friends). If he's not willing to continue talking on the internet for now, he probably has some sort of hidden agenda by meeting you, and you should just forget him.
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