"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn
I came to this site for advice about a man and love. That very question turned my entire world around and I have had my eyes opened to things I never noticed before.
I've stayed here so that I can share the knowledge I do have. I know I'm not changing the world but I do hope that I spark others to open their eyes.
"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde
So, if you learn something from what I say then repeat it to someone else who can use it.
I hope that if you see an answer of mine that you enjoy it will inspire you to go out of your way to give good, solid information. Provide links for further information, detail your responses, encourage people to seek out professionals when it's needed, and stop sugar-coating responses and just say the truth.
I hope that even if you absolutely hate my answer that it'll kick start your brain. Hopefully you'll begin taking your time to respond instead of hurried answers that are useless to an already confused person.
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
Gender: Female
Location: WV / KY / ND
Occupation: Technical Account Management
Age: 24
Member Since: October 12, 2007
Answers: 1511
Last Update: August 15, 2011
Visitors: 144187
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those are the simplest, most final words you can ever hear, or ever say. how do you react when you're not the one saying them? I don't know how to go on with my life. I've been struggling for months now, and my situation only becomes more hopeless. estranged from my wife of 12 years, a thousand miles from my kids, working at a job i dont' like. the only reason i haven't committed suicide yet is the thought of my kids tears, or my parents tears, or even my wife's tears. i don't want to break their hearts, but i don't know how i can go on with my heart being broken either. i live with this pain every day, every night, and it doesn't go away. i'm seeking solice in any place i can find it, and it doesn't matter. the only little pleasure i have now is when i see my kids every two weeks, and it's only for a day that i interact with them. how is this living? my love of my life has had her heart broken, by me, and now is with someone else. it's her who said those words to me. i can't live with this pain. i don't have any enjoyment now. stupid bars and fucked up online meeting people shit sucks. i don't see the point in going on. i so much want to go out morrison or monroe style. what the fuck am i supposed to do. i care so much about those people and having their hearts hurt even more, but how do i go on like this? there is no pleasure anymore. nothing. foo0d sucks. sex isn't fun without her. there's nothing. i'd drink myself to death, but somehow that's not fun either. there is no way to repair the damage done, and though i wish there was, i'm now dealing with the finality of a love that to me was the best thing in the world. i don't know what to do. i so much just want to die. i want this to be over, and i never want to live or be happy again. i think i'd spend an eternity chasing what i once had, and spend so much time looking back at what was, that i'd be confined to a prison in my mind. i can't live like that. i don't want to cause others hurt, but just don't know how to go on through the drudgery and gray of every day life anymore. there is no place for me to turn except this stupid thing. i hate this life. (link)
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Having these feelings can take years from your life. In essence, you're killing yourself by grieving for your family because you cannot interact with them any longer. It's very common when divorces and separations occur.
Then goal now is to keep busy and keep your mind active. This is the time to pick up a new hobby, make new friends, and start volunteering your excess time in places where it will be appreciated.
Volunteer at homeless shelters, elderly centers, food pantries, local church functions, and anything else around your area that is available. This may seem odd for many people but it keeps you active, you interacting with the public, and begins to grow a sense of self-worth inside of you. It doesn't take the place of family but it helps you to feel like you mean something to the world. If you are the one that essentially "broke" the marriage somehow then this will create new hope in your life. Helping others helps you in so many ways.
Volunteering a good chunk of your time at least 3 or 4 times a week is ideal. It will look good to the courts if there is a/another custody hearing. Your wife will be impressed that you are getting motivated and aren't sitting like a worthless bump on a log. It will, again, help improve your self-worth. It will help keep you away from drugs and alcohol, which many people turn to in these times. It will keep you active in the community and you will be able to build new bonds with other people. Those bonds may evolve into full-fledge friendships, where you are able to go outside of the volunteer center and spend time with an ideal friend you made.
You don't want to go meet anyone new and replace your wife and children. No bars, no clubs.
You don't want to drink your sorrows away and deal with them another day.
You do not want to commit suicide.
So, if you have been thinking of taking up a hobby for awhile and never did then now is the time to look into that. If you have days where it seems like you barely do nothing then pick up the phone and start making calls to local places to volunteer your time at. You will make friends, socialize, and get your mind off of this mess. Believe it or not, being with people in need will wind up helping you to fully see where your marriage went wrong. You will be appreciated for your time and you will be able to see what good you can do, that you haven't been doing.
As you have said, the damage is done and things will not be repaired. Well, things MIGHT be repaired down the line but it isn't foreseen at the moment and dwelling on that is not going to help the situation. Many people try not to dwell on things like this so they go out bar-hopping and the like. This isn't good because you're in an emotionally unstable time where some of your choices you might make in situations like that could wind up extremely harmful to you and your family. Turn to something good and helpful towards others too.
Suicide only spreads your pain out to all of your friends and family. That pain grows within each of them and they are prone to give in to it like the person who committed suicide did. It's easy to give in to pain but it isn't easy for your family to overcome that burden. A slow, agonizing suicide (what you are beginning to put yourself through now) only worsens the pain your family feels because they will watch you deteriorate as a person.
At this point you are not useless. You have a chance to turn your life around and make it completely new. You can make this dying time into a growing time. Make your life into something worth living.
Don't give up just yet. If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me directly...
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Okay -- well I was on Ortho tricyclen lo for a month but I ran out, and I had mail orderd other but it didnt come intime, so I had to start it over. But in between getting the mail order -- I ended up having sex and needing to take plan b.
I took plan b this past sunday (saturday night/sunday morning) was when the incident happened, so I took the plan b way within 24 hrs.
I should get my period next week (I've taken plan b before.. and I got my period like a week later) but, when should I start taking my birth control again? Like, when I start my period again? or when I'm finished with it?? (link)
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It depends what your doctor told you in the beginning, really.
If you were on Sunday start then you will do that again.
Sunday-start means something like:
You have your period this week - Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. Even though you are still having your period on Sunday you will start your birth control pack that day. The same applies if you were to have your period on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, etc...you would still start the pack of hormonal birth control pills on Sunday even though you started that very day. Then, if you have your upcoming period and it ENDS on a Sunday then still start those pills that Sunday.
Basically, if you start your period you will be waiting for the very first Sunday--even if you're having your period on that day--to come and start the pills then.
The other option your doctor may have chosen for you is the first-day start. This means you start your pills on the first day you start your period.
The most common method is the Sunday start though because it's much easier to keep track of your pills that way throughout the month. You also can get an idea of when your period will be very quickly without needing a calendar.
Either way, you will take your pills as normally and not skip any. This period coming up might be a little odd because of the Plan B and the restart of the birth control pills.
If you didn't quite understand what I'm trying to describe then you need to call your doctor to make sure you're doing everything right. It's better to be safe than sorry.
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salvia is like weed but legal and it smells sweet and is legal to grow, is all that right? and is there any risks to smokeing it? (link)
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Salvia is illegal in many United States places, actually:
Delaware
Florida
Illinois
Kansas
Mississippi
Missouri
Nebraska
North Dakota
Ohio
Oklahoma
South Dakota
Virginia
In the following states, Salvia is only legal if it is not used for human consumption:
Louisiana
North Carolina (beginning December 1, 2009)
Tennessee
In the following U.S. states, it is illegal for minors to use salvia (and, in some cases, possess it):
California
Maine (possession by minors also illegal)
In regards to other countries, salvia is prohibited and illegal in:
Australia
Belgium
Croatia
Denmark
Germany
Italy
Japan
Latvia
Lithuania
Poland
South Korea
Sweden
In the following countries, it is legal to have salvia in your possession but not legal to sell it:
Spain
Russia
The following countries view salvia as a medicinal herb and they require a doctor's prescription to have salvia in your possession and to purchase it:
Estonia
Finland
Iceland
Norway
In many ways, salvia is similar to marijuana. Salvia is a psychoactive herb which can induce dissociative effects. After ingestion, the effects produced may include things like: odd sensations and feelings of motion, hallucinations, mentally believing and physically feeling a "merge" with or "becoming of" surrounding objects, the perception of being in several locations at once, increased sweating, impaired coordination, or even dysphoria (depression-like state). Although salvia is not physically addictive (only about 1.2% of users become addicted and experience strong cravings), a user (regular or otherwise) may mentally become overly desiring of using. It may also be considered a "gateway" drug.
There are risks with in inhaling any kind and all smoke. Smoking decreases the amount of oxygen that is present in your body. This can cause many things from lightheadedness, to shortness of breath, and even birth defects if you are pregnant. This decreased level of oxygenated blood may also be linked to the formation of cancer, cancerous cells, and tumors.
Personally, I wouldn't mess with it.
That's just me though.
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Hi guys...
so i found some lumps
there on the 'lips'
think below the belt
any ideas?
i suffer from severe abdominal pain and was told i have endometriosis, i was put into menopause the pain went away but now its back and worse and i have lumps?
so i was thinking fibroids or cysts?
agree? disagree? let me know (link)
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None of us are medically trained to know what is wrong with you without examining you and knowing your complete past health history.
My first though was that you may have genital warts, as they typically are small "lumps" on the "lips" of your vaginal area. This would mean you have contracted HPV from some source, usually from engaging in sexual intercourse or play with another person at some time (even years ago). You can contract diseases like the HPV strain for genital warts even if you use a condom.
If I were you, I would call the doctor and schedule an appointment for these lumps. If they are anything serious then they need to be treated immediately, as they may be harmful to your health.
Cysts are usually near the glands of your pubic area rather than the "lips" and fibroids are usually within the vagina more-so than the location you have describe.
I am no doctor though and, even if I was, I am unable to examine the area. You need to see someone who can tell you their professional, medical opinion and set up some treatment for whatever it may be.
Wish you well.
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I recently found a small kitten that i imagine to be about 4 or 5 weeks old. The mother abandoned it and I brought it home about a week ago. At first I fed it goat's milk, as I am in an area where the kitty formula was not available. So I fed it goat's milk and a mixture of goat's milk and hard food (mushed up) for the first few days, and now I feed her a mixture for a formula I found online (goats milk, egg whites, a touch of oil) as well as wet kitten food. I have been told that by this team she should be willing or at least trying to eat on her own, but I have to practically force feed her with a bottle (she does swallow it on her own though). Also, she sleeps all the time, she doesn't get up and walk around like she did at the beginning of the week. Now she just seems to have lost the will to live. I don't know what to do, I feel like she is not getting enough food even though we do feed her alot, and I hate that she doesnt get up unless we make her.... what should I do? Thanks in advance... (link)
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There can be so many problems going on with this kitten right now. If she is not pooping properly then that very well could be the case. That is pretty simple to accomplish though: Take a warm, moist washcloth and lightly rub it down her tummy while she is laying down and over her genitals and anus a bit. It stimulates the kitten's body to release the poop by relaxation. Mother cats do this to the kittens very regularly. If you haven't been and she doesn't "go" very often then you probably should.
The kitten should also be kept warm. She is so young and usually they get their heat from the mother for a long time before being able to warm themselves for a short time period. Make sure she is always warm enough for comfort.
Take her to the vet. The kitten may have a parasite that is preventing her from having a life. Take her to the vet and explain what you have been doing to this kitten you found and what has happened over the past week.
If you don't take her to the vet, she will probably die. Please, take her to the vet immediately and do not wait another day. Kittens and other small baby animals are not very strong and have low immune systems. Getting to cold at night could mean death in half an hour even. It's serious. She isn't going to "hold on" much longer if she is progressively getting worse now. In essence, this is life or death for the cat.
Hope all goes well and the kitten survives.
P.S. Just because a forum group of people say the kitten is going to survive if you do XYZ doesn't mean that they are all-knowing in all situations. The cat needs kitty-medical attention. We don't know what is going on inside the little creature without tests and a trained eye. Please don't waste any more time and just see the vet.
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Icaught my dad cheating on my mom almost three years ago. walked down stairs saw him on a web cam with another women.... we stopped talking all summer, i never told my mom, i could never ever let my parents split and ruin my life, i was 15, now im almost 18. we finally kinda have a relationship, i mean.. i guess we talk. it kills me everyday, we hardly saw hi, and i never do anything with him. i caught him on weird chat sites.... all the time. and tonight, i found it again, on yahoo. i found his user name, a reallyy fuckin weird one for him, i luv9999... what the hel am i supposed to do. ive been depressedover this shit, for the fact my dad is a fake, im the only one that knows, and my mom is my best friend and im hiding this from her. its killing me. i go to collehge in a year so i cant wait to get out but to know im leaving her here with him. lately two people my parents knew husbands have been arrested for sexual predators with lil kids. it kills me, what if its that? god what am i supposed to do. i cant handle this, i cant see my family part, and i dont even know (link)
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I whole heartedly believe you should tell your mother the truth so that she is aware of the situation as well. If you put yourself in your mother's shoes you would understand wanting to know this sort of thing. If your husband was betraying you and engaging in intimate activities with other women without your consent you would want to know right away.
I also agree that taking your mother out to lunch when telling her this information is probably the best idea. Make an entire day for you and your mother to "bond" a bit. Go out shopping and to lunch or dinner, whichever is most convenient at the time. Tell her that you have something extremely important to talk to her about.
Tell her that three years ago you found out that your dad was cheating on her. Let her know that you were afraid to tell her and that it's the reason why your relationship with your father has crumbled to nothing. Apologize for not telling her sooner! Then lend an ear and a shoulder.
Explain to her that she needs to talk to your dad immediately because his involvement with these women is going on. Tell her everything that you know, including walking down stairs while he was webcamming with other women and whatever you may have heard. Support her confronting him and let her know that she can do this. Suggest to her that she bring up marriage counseling to solve this issue so that the marriage might be saved.
Marriage counseling can help many couples mend their broken relationships. They learn how to communicate more and realize how the other person feels in situations. Your mother needs to confront your father about his unfaithfulness and then suggest they see a marital counselor immediately to salvage what is left and to create a better marriage.
It isn't your fault that your father is cheating on your mother but you shouldn't have let it continued once you knew. Once you bring this issue up to your mother it will be up to her to confront her husband about this situation. From there your only job is to support her confronting him.
Letting this continue will ruin your parents' marriage completely and may end up creating a very devastating life for your mother when she does find out. They always do find out, but, typically, it's too late and when they feel they are completely alone. With your support, your mother is not alone in this. The marriage can still be saved if both parents are willing to work on it.
Talk to your mother.
Don't wait another 3 years.
Figure out when you two can go out (preferably this week) and have a good day. End the day with some lunch and serious conversation. Be supportive and give the suggestion about marital counseling. Apologize to your mother for not coming to her sooner with this important information.
I wish you well and hope it all turns out right. If you have any more question please feel free to ask me directly! :)
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I recently discovered, at the doctors office oddly enough, that a finger in the butt excites me. A lot. Does this mean I have repressed homosexual feelings or does it just mean I like wierd stuff? (link)
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No.
Many straight men enjoy inserting fingers or sex toys into their rectum during sexual acts. Doing this creates pressure on the prostate, which is easily accessible in the anus of a man. There are straight men who do this to achieve more fulfilling orgasms. Many times the man's female partner will help to do this sort of sexual touching or inserting of the sexual objects.
So, technically liking this is not so strange and does not make you homosexual. Liking a specific sexual act doesn't typically change your sexuality unless it deals with a specific gendered person or persons. If you have sexual desires to only be with people of the same gender then you may not be considered a straight man.
As they say, different strokes for different folks. Some people enjoy this sort of activity while others feel no pleasure in that or feel uncomfortable. It's the same with any sort of sexual act, fantasy, or desire.
In other words: This doesn't make you gay and it isn't as weird as you may think. You aren't alone and I'm sure you'll find a nice lady later in life that will be willing to help you fulfill these desires.
P.S. Please be aware that inserting objects, including your own fingers, into your rectum is not healthy for your body and you can experience severe damage in some cases. It really isn't recommended for health purposes.
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So I'm a freshman in college, and I cheered all throughout my life. I've never been on an all-star team outside of high school cheerleading (such as Elite Cheer) and I decided not to cheer in college, although I probably will next year. But I was wondering, are there any all-star cheer teams like Elite Cheer that are available to people that are older than 18? ... considering I'll be 19 in November. Thanks :) (link)
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Hi!
I saw that your question has been up here for a few days ;) and figured that I should take the time to see if I could find something about what you are talking about. The only problem is that I am not a cheerleader myself and have never been one. Not many people end up cheering past their high school days, let alone cheering for an all-star team (or something similar to Elite Cheer).
I thought to look up teams that accepted cheerleaders over the age of 18. Apparently that is a very hard thing to find because cheering is not centered around that age range. My next guess to search the web for some information about cheerleading would have been cheer-specific forums! Unfortunately, they rarely exist for anyone in college and many are riddled with some outrageous spam.
Despite my lack of finding specifics, I did find some people that can probably point you in the right direction! It might not be all-star team cheerleading specific, but these places are full of actual cheerleaders and I am just sure someone knows about the things you're interested in:
http://forum.americancheerleader.com/
http://forums.about.com/n/pfx/forum.aspx?nav=messages&webtag=ab-cheerleading&lgnF=y
Even a form to ask a pro-cheerleader!:
http://www.wecovercheer.com/Ask_A_Pro.html
That's about as much as I could find that might be able to give you some good information. Other than that, I would suggest you see your college counselor and talk to him/her about this sort of thing. They are very knowledgeable about all sorts of colleges and interests that college students have so I bet they could steer you in the right direction so you don't have to worry so much about this.
Whatever happens, if you figure out the answer I hope you do decide to put the answer here, too, for another girl. I'm sure you're not the only person to ask this question and you're not the only one to not be able to find it readily available. If you get a decent answer somewhere then please come back to this question and "answer" it yourself so everyone else will be able to have the information if they search for it on Advicenators.
I apologize for the lack of specific information but I hope something I have suggested helps!
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a long time ago a friend and i were looking up songs with our names in them. i dont know the website name and im not friends with the girl anymore but i loved this one song, it was so adorable and sincere. lol. the words were something like "where are you now, what twisted road has life taken you down? do you dream, like i do? of yesterdays, me and you." "i gave you my heart and i never took it back juuuulie." he sang the name julie a lot in it. like (Joo-ooo-oo-lee). i was wondering if anyone knows how to find it! im trying but failing, help please!:) (link)
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I have spent quite some time (hours) searching for the this specific song but I'm not really stumbling onto what you're describing at all. To make this more helpful to you, I am going to list the songs I have found and links to where you can hear them in case you had misheard the lyrics:
Hey Julie by David DiMuzio:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1d-0hQK8ZE
Hey Julie by Fountains of Wayne:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtKhFaW2Z1E
When Julie Comes Around by The Cuff Links:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrX5KZ8HsVE
Julie Do You Love Me by Bobby Sherman:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7PLcHnMNKE
Oh Julie by Shakin' Stevens:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UU74uJZkywQ
Julie Rain by H-Town:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNgmpEV-En0
Me Julie by Ali G:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JB6YL1ko8_s
Who's Julie by Mel Tillis:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exkl9tKJTnw
Julie by David Bowie:
http://listen.grooveshark.com/song/Julie/4226797
Julie by Merril Bainbridge:
http://listen.grooveshark.com/song/Julie/4874026
Julie Laughs No More by Candlemass:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQVMY4oPGNw
Julie's In The Drug Squad / Julie's Been Working For The Drug Squad by The Clash:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gextdm4r7UU
Julie At The Bar by John Curtis Band (Honey Brown):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ds4ddJzXFRs
He'd Never Seen Julie Cry by Jo Dee Messina:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcF5aL2dKvc
Julie Paradise by Screaming Trees:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSk4zQI4IUE
Oh Julie by The Crescendos:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diAeONrhO2Y
Julie Ocean by The Undertones:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPdu_x-7xSE
Julie Don't Live Here by ELO:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CpPMILamz4
My Name Is Julie by Ed Silver:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBUJdiuGmhM
A Dream For Julie by Kaleidoscope:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHulMBpzcF8
I found a few more songs about "Julie" but I am not able to find some key information about them such as an actual music video or recording or even lyrics in some cases. I figure that if I list them, you may be able to find something I haven't been able to. Here is the list, based on VARIOUS websites through Google:
"Julie" by Hot Water
"How is Julie?" by The Lettermen
"Julie" by A1
"Julie" by Cher
"Julie Through The Glass" by Carly Simon
"Julie Don't Dance" by Cutting Crew
"What's Wrong With Stayin' Home?" by Merle Haggard
Is it also possible that the song really said, "Juliet" and not "Julie"? I found this song that sort-of fit your description but says "Juliet":
Romeo & Juliet by Mark Knophler:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-G-GHTFoX4
I'm sorry that I'm not finding what you have specifically asked for but I figured that if it wasn't an easy find for you (someone who has heard the song) then you may not have anyone at all even attempt to answer this question. Hopefully I found something above that is helpful or that you like just as well.
If you do, by chance, find the song, please go on and "answer" your own question here so we know what it was! I'm dying to know now!
--------------------------------------------------
NOTE: SONGS ABOVE ARE LISTED FOR MENTIONING "JULIE" IN THE LYRICS.
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Ok so I know how this sounds, I am a 20 yr old male and i have this friend, weve been friends since freshman year in high school and weve always experimented with diffrent drugs and alcohol weve stopped since then minus alcohol and pot. I hadnt seen her for about 2 years, she randomly called me and told me she was pregnat so we decided to meet at her new place but little did i know she was still smoking pot! im no doctor and i definitly dont like telling others how hey should live their lives but i seriously question the health of her baby, could it possibly induce a miscarage? i have no idea i would just like some opinions. (link)
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Believe it or not, weed can very well hurt the unborn baby--severely, at that. Here is a little information:
"Marijuana has been shown to affect babies, too.
We know that marijuana crosses the placenta, and can be found in the newborn's body for up to a month after a single use. Just like smoking tobacco, it causes less oxygen and food to get to the baby. This factor alone affects your baby's growth and brain development. Newborns of mothers who have used marijuana throughout pregnancy cry more. Some studies suggest that children exposed to marijuana while in the womb are at increased risk for attention disorders and learning problems that might not show up until school age.
Some say that they smoked marijuana and their baby seems fine but...
They might have been lucky. There is much we don't know about how marijuana affects developing babies. Marijuana is used in different strengths, mixed with other drugs and even sprayed with weed killers when it is grown. These factors all make any pot use during pregnancy risky."
(From: http://www.thinkpregnancy.org/english/marijuana.htm )
If that doesn't sound so serious yet, take a look at the BBC information that has performed some scientific research regarding marijuana inhalation during pregnancy, some of which have shown to mess with brain chemistry in fetus':
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/2871901.stm
You need to tell your friend to stop smoking immediately, for the health of her baby. This can be very serious and she will be entirely to blame if she gives birth to a child that is deformed or handicapped in some form (just being serious here).
For future information that may come in handy: Always remember that if you are having sex--"protected" or not--you are risking pregnancy. This means that if your partner becomes pregnant and doesn't know it for 2 weeks but smokes within that time she is putting harmful substances in that baby before it even has a chance to grow and develop within her. The early stages of pregnancy are fragile because the fetus is still getting genetically lined out, and cells are still positioning themselves to grow limbs, genitals, and even eyes.
Don't believe the BS about weed not hurting anyone. There is evidence that THC affects female reproductive function. There is evidence that THC, and possibly other cannabinoids, are teratogens (substances that may interfere with the normal development of the fetus). The animal evidence indicates that cannabis can produce resorption, growth retardation, and malformations in mice, rats, rabbits, and hamsters
It has been speculated that teratogenesis could conceivably produce chromosomal abnormalities or genetic change in either parent which could be transmitted to their offspring. Yes, it means that weed usage MAY mess your genetics up--long-term, as in, forever. There is also speculation that marijuana inhalation may increase risks for cancer.
Please, be smart and try to educate your friend for the health and well-being of her baby. It may seem like fun right now until something more serious comes of it and you're completely unprepared. Please.
If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)
P.S. In reference to miscarriages: Yes. Smoking-anything-reduces the amount of oxygen in the bloodstream. Women who smoke have an increased risk of having miscarriages or stillbirth (fully formed baby that is born, well, dead). Coupled with the fact that smoking weed/pot/marijuana may cause genetic deformities...you bet she may miscarry!
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if your on birth control, can a guy nutt in you and you not get pregnant? lol (link)
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No.
With typical usage, the hormonal birth control pill is actually only 92% - 93% effective preventing pregnancy. The 99% claim they advertise is actually for perfect usage--something that could probably only be seen in a laboratory setting.
If you were perfect, the birth control pill would be 99% effective. As it is, our weight fluctuates, some of us are still growing, we sometimes experience stress (sometimes more frequently than others), we eat different foods, some days we get more exercise than others, etc. All of these things (and more) cause the pill to drop in effectiveness. In addition to the above mentioned, if you are off by just a half hour on taking the pill then the pregnancy prevention percentage drops. We are far from perfect beings, you see.
The birth control pill does not protect against sexual transmitted diseases or infections. Please keep in mind that the condom does not protect against such illnesses either and that some of these disease can cause life-long problems, including infertility and pain.
That being said, the only "safe" sex is having no sex at all. You will ALWAYS be at risk for a pregnancy. You will ALWAYS be at risk for contracting a disease or infection. There is absolutely no "method" out there that completely prevents any of this except abstinence.
The 92% - 93% effective with TYPICAL usage percentage is close to the truth when it comes to becoming pregnant on the pill. This takes into account some of the behavior such as alternate eating and small lifestyle changes, but nothing major or time variations as to when you take the pill.
There can be 600 million semen in your partners ejaculate. You have one egg that those 600 sperm want to fertilize. It doesn't really sound like good odds for your egg, right?
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me!
P.S.
Condoms are 88% effective on preventing pregnancy with typical usage.
The "pull-out" method varies between 30% to 70% effective on preventing pregnancy with typical usage.
Neither of those help to prevent disease or infection transmission either.
Better be safe than sorry and take the pill and use a condom after having your partner and yourself STD tested.
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Okay so will someone please explain what exactly happens when you lose your virginity? i am very comfortable with my body and i have hooked up with people but never all the way yet. i know about hymen sort of but where is it excatly? when i feel around it seems like i don't have one or am not a virgin. how can i tell? help? (link)
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Your hymen (aka "cherry") is actually not inside of your vagina. If you have a hymen, it can clearly be seen by simply looking at your genitals.
Here are some great drawings of what a hymen is suppose to look like. Be aware that they come in different forms so there are a few drawings to see:
http://www.healthystrokes.com/hymengallery.html
The hymen usually has a small hole in it as it is. A hymen is made of very thin tissue and it is fairly easy to tear or stretch. It's located at the entrance to the vagina so, actually, it isn't inside of the vagina. The hole is there to allow menstrual blood to escape the body and is usually too small to accommodate an entire penis to enter the vagina.
Since women have a small hole in their hymens anyway things can go into the vagina and, obviously, come out of the vagina. This being said, if a guy got his semen on your vagina in some fashion then there IS a chance of pregnancy to occur.
If you do have vaginal intercourse and you do not completely break/tear your hymen it will stretch out and create a larger hole, just as your vagina will naturally stretch out to accommodate the penis. Some hymens are elastic enough to permit a penis to enter without tearing, or they will tear only partially, and there may be no bleeding at all.
Losing your virginity doesn't mean you have to continue to have sexual relations. It doesn't mean that you have to tell anyone that you've lost your virginity either! Sex is personal and you can plead the fifth on anything you feel uncomfortable with (except doctors, who just need to know for health reasons, of course).
Having a penis inside of you--even just a little bit--means you've lost your virginity. Virginity is not just an emotional thing. Virginity is actually very physical. Some people argue that if the hymen is intact then the virginity remains. That really doesn't make much sense though, does it? I mean, if you engage in SEX with someone and he doesn't FULL penetrate he did still penetrate a little. That and the fact that your hymen can very well stretch to accommodate a penis' entry sometimes.
Then you must take into consideration different forms of sex. You don't have a hymen in your mouth but if you give a guy a blowjob or engage in oral sex with another female it is still engaging in some form of sex. Oral and anal sex is just as risky as any other type of sex and you can get just as many STDs.
If you went to a doctor right now you would probably have to tell them you are sexually active. Oral sex counts. Anal sex counts. Semen getting on you counts. Even just the "head" of the penis entering counts. All of that matters to the doctor and your health. Personally, I think virginity should be on that same level.
What doesn't count, in my opinion? Mouth-to-mouth kissing or anything around those lines. It doesn't have anything to do with genitals, though you can contract STDs (herpes and HPV, specifically). Doctors don't need to know if you've kissed 1 boy, 2 boys, or 20 boys if it was just kissing, you know?
Oh, and for just a last note:
When you're older and you are considering marriage your partner will want to know about your sexual history. Wouldn't it be wrong to say, "I'm a virgin!" if you've given 13 guys blowjobs but not had a penis in your vagina? Your partner would be hurt. I'm not sure why people don't quite understand this but virginity is important to many, many people. It isn't something to take lightly.
I hope I answered your question thoroughly enough. If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)
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Is there a substitute for Alcohol when removing soap bubbles from homemade soap (this is the most important part)...aslo do you absolutley have to use alcohol when adhering two pieces or is that just a suggestion, if it is necessary is there an alternative that is safer than alcohol. I know alcohol is fine in reasonable amounts, i'd just like to make alcohol free soap and when I make soap cupcakes or something like that, i'd like to adhere the two pieces without using alcohol. Also, does using the melted soap it's self work just as well as the alcohol adhesive? Thank you. (link)
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Hi! I think it's pretty nifty that you are creating your own homemade soap. It's really a great idea. I've found so many people online that are doing the same thing at their homes.
The problem is that you are one of a kind on the Advicenator site, most likely. We would absolutely love to give you the proper information but it can be kind of tricky to find when you're not into this sort of thing.
What I've been reading online pretty much says that there is not alternative to alcohol when making homemade soaps. I am not a soap maker though.
I kept looking around and found a great site you can take some valuable information from, I'm sure:
http://www.soapmakingforum.com/
Soap Making Forum! :D
This being said, I'm sure those ladies can tell you what is what about what pretty easily. I'm sure they've tried a few alternatives to alcohol that either succeeded or did not and may be able to give you suggestions. If they haven't, your question may spark some interest in the subject and may try some alternatives to give you some better information.
I do ask something of you though. If you would please return to Advicenators and answer this (yes, your own) question with the proper answers once you've figured it out we would really appreciate it. I'm sure you will not be the last of the homemade soap making people and it sounds like very important information.
So, I do apologize for the lack of proper information but I hope you find what you're looking for.
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14-f
am i a slut??????????
1. i get wasted
2. im no where near being a virgin
3. i have let people take advantage of me
4. i am either going to be a playboy bunny or a stripper somewhere....
do these make me a slut??????????? bacause everyone thinks i amm...and i kind of dont want them to (link)
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If you question an activity as being "slutty" or "whorish" then it is, nine times out of ten, a slutty, whorish behavior/activity. If you have to question it, then there's a reason why you feel that way. Sometimes your conscience is screaming at you even when you don't want to listen. Most people who ask questions like this to a pool of people they feel do the same thing are simply looking for psychological relief for their guilt of being perceived as a slut for the bad activities they do. (Associates degree in psychology taught me this.)
For the brief answer:
Yes.
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I've always gotten cold sores but this time, my cold sore has taken over my entire bottom lip and is spreading down my chin! I usually use Zicam but it isn't helping now!
How do I clear this up?! (link)
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Cold sores and fever blisters (commonly referred to as oral herpes though they can be transferred genitally) are common names for Herpes Simplex Virus 1. That I am aware of, Herpes Simplex Virus 2, or genital herpes, doesn't have many popular common slang names.
"Herpes" is separated into two categories--HSV-1 and HSV-2. HSV-1 is usually oral herpes because the virus lives within the nerve cells of the facial structure (think: cheek bone area). HSV-1 is usually genital herpes because the virus lives within the nerve cells of the lower spinal region (closer to the genitals). Either one of these viruses are incurable and have the same sort of outbreak; however, a person can contract HSV-1 on their genitals or HSV-2 on their lips (this means that you can spread your coldsore to your genitals or other people's genitals too).
You need to go see your doctor. Seriously, you NEED to. They can do some swabs and a BLOOD TEST (request this to be done, actually) so tell you for sure which strain you have. Yes, you can get oral herpes on your genitals and genital herpes on your mouth. No kidding. That's why this is serious enough to merit a doctor's visit for a proper diagnosis. They'll swab and probably draw a little bit of blood.
The previous user mentioned maybe it has developed into a "worse" kind of herpes. It didn't. Herpes doesn't change or worsen in strain. Sometimes your outbreak is just worse, that's all.
No medication will make herpes go away--they will only make the symptoms lessen for a bit. I give very, very important information in each and every single one of the links within the link below. This is an important thing, please don't dismiss it like many people do.
Here is another question I've answered about herpes, that includes many different links on what herpes is exactly:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=543782
Lastly, having herpes is NOT the end of the world. Trust me.
Yes, you have herpes, but you will live. Roughly, 80% of the U.S. population is infected with herpes--you're simply one of millions.
From my previous answers:
"I also want to suggest that you begin taking some vitamin supplements so your immune system is boosted and your outbreaks are lessened. You can purchase these at any pharmacy and even Wal-Mart. You do not need a prescription for any of them, and many websites claim these are very helpful:
*L-Lysine - Take between 1,500 - 3,000mg of this during an outbreak for 5 days. Then stop taking it for 7 days. Repeat this cycle until your outbreak has diminished. Do not take it longer than 5 days as your body will adjust to it and it will not be effective.
*Vitamin C with Bioflavonoids- Take between 1000 - 2000mg every day. You do not need to be experiencing an outbreak to take this and you should take it every day--your body will not become "immune" to it.
*Zinc - Take 20mg - 50mg per day, outbreak or not.
*Echinacea - Take for 2 weeks and then stop for 2 weeks. You may repeat process until desired time. Take 1000mg daily.
*Vitamin B Complex - Take one daily, outbreak or not.
*Herplex - Something at Wal-Mart that claims to help heal the sores. It says to take between 3 - 5 caplets (chewed) per day while you're having an outbreak. It has some really good stuff in it to help heal your body."
If you have any more questions--herpes related or not--please feel free to ask me! :)
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today i was shopping somewhere with my friends and we were eating at moes,there were 3 other guys in there (hot guys) and we were like tlking about them. then one of them came up to me and said
him-"one of my friends has a thing for you"
me-"me????"
him-"yeah, he wants to fuck u"
then we talked to them for a while and im 15 they were 19 and one was 17.and then when they were leaving they passed us in their car and honked and threw a piece of paper out the window that had their #s on it. and it said "whenever u want"......should i call them??????????????? because i really want to hook up wit one of them and like everyone is all like "they are too old for you!" (link)
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For the 19 year old, you are pure jail-bait. If your parents even THOUGHT you two had sex or had ANY sexual contact then he could go to jail for engaging in sexual activities with a minor. Stay away from him. There is absolutely no reason why you should try to put him in harm's way for a little "fun".
And, not to be rude, but how low is it to hook-up with a STRANGE guy that walks up to you in an eatery and says he wants to bang you? Having high self-esteem and some standards are really good things.
I think you should re-think this entire thing and figure out what your boundaries are. Do you really want to be used? Do you really want to be just a piece of ass? Aren't you worth more than that?
They don't like YOU. They like what you look like. Really.
It isn't healthy and so I say you shouldn't follow this through at all. The guys see you as something to use and not any more or he would have had more respect for you when he told you why the guy was interested in you. Hell, if the guy even thought about WHO YOU were as a real PERSON then he wouldn't have wanted to bang you. That just isn't cool.
Don't lead this kind of life. You'll be really, really sad in the future. You may even be physically and mentally damaged from this sort of behavior. Please have more respect for yourself.
If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me directly!
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iv recently fell in love with taekwondo mma but my parents say its to expensive.. what is the average prices of taekwondo mma, or how can i get things to train cheaply. mine is $90 monthly and $40 every level up test and then i bought the uniform but i havent gotten all my sparring gear yet i still need $30 more worth of essential stuff. is that normal? what are some muscle drills that work faster n so on? anyyy help on that subject would be perfect thanks! (link)
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From what I am reading on the internet many places charge around that price range. Most classes are about $60 - $100 per month. They say you should take the amount of hours in the gym and divide up the money you spend to see how much you are charged per hour, essentially. That gives you a better idea of what you are learning verses how much you are spending. If it isn't worth, say, $7 an hour then it's best to stop and find a new place to learn at.
The problem is that if you are in the United States then your parents make be affected by the financial crisis going on. It may be that you will have to stop your training right now until budgets are a little less stressed. Remember that your parents are working very hard to keep the family running normally and you may have to sacrifice a little bit to help a lot.
So, the price is about right for what it is but you might have to find an alternative for a little while until your family can afford it. $90/month is a lot if you're only getting paid, say, minimum wage and have two children at home plus your spouse.
Since I'm not entirely sure about the $40 every level up and the $30 of essential things I would head on over to a forum specifically for taekwondo mma and other martial arts. This may prove to be most helpful:
http://www.bullshido.net/forums/
Sorry I couldn't have been more help but not many people are into martial arts on Advicenators right now. Feel free to link other people here though so we can get some good advice regarding such activities. It would be helpful to lots of people, I'm sure. Hope you find exactly what you're looking for! :)
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where you sell your own products through the internet? Like, well like any online business... but you know, specifically people who only deal, or mainly deal with online sales...If you do could you tell me about how you got started and what classes you may have taken to learn how to do the online thing and to run the business. My e-mail is kahea2018@yahoo.com if you would like to give me full detail, and my yahooIM is kahea2018. Thank you. (link)
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I would say that one very large place to "sell" your products through is your very own website. Websites come fairly cheap now it seems. I would talk to someone with more experience with websites like DangerNerd even, as he, obviously, has his own website.
I have also heard about a lot of people using places like Ebay to get their products sold. I suppose it can be quite difficult in the beginning and you really have to work long hours to get things like that accomplished but it is doable.
Other than that, I'm not entirely sure where you would go to sell products. I would guess that your best bet would be the create your own website and get it out to the public in some fashion. Purchase advertising, set up a Google account, link people to it that would be interested in the products. It takes quite the length of time though and much patience.
Classes are probably not absolutely necessary but they couldn't hurt, I'm sure. I would, most likely, put the classes off until you talked with a few more people that run their businesses out of their own home. I'm sure most people running these sorts of businesses did not have any special classes to be able to run the business online.
So, keep checking around the internet. Look for prices of websites and consider starting an ebay account for awhile until you become more popular and have regular customers. Ask people who do have personal websites that make a living from it how they do it.
I hope this bit of information is helpful to you. I apologize I couldn't supply more in-depth information. Have a good day! :)
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16/f
Would getting a birth control shot or getting put on birth control help me gain weight?
& If so, how should I go about asking my mom about it, I don't want it cause of sex, but I'm just too small! (link)
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It may cause you to gain weight but that is a side effect that varies from person to person. When I began taking hormonal birth control pills when I was younger I lost 20lbs like it was nothing. I know some people who have lost weight while others have gain only 5lbs. I'm sure there are rare cases where people gain 30lbs+ but I wouldn't count on that either. You would be "lucky" to gain 10lbs, I would guess.
A better, healthier, alternative is to gain muscle. Muscle weighs a lot more than fat and helps keep your body toned too. You gain muscle by working out, usually. You alternate days by doing some strength training 3 or 4 times a week and cardio work outs on the other days. Strength training needs to have a day in between each session because it does create small tears in the growing muscle that needs to be healed. That is why it is important to do cardio work-outs in between the others. Your muscles build up, you tone and firm, and you gain weight. That is how so many celebrities look so good with their weight and have nice curves :)
You want curve not just fat, trust me. Work out and gain muscle. Curves is a great way to start gaining muscle. Walk, jog, dance, etc. in between each work-out day. In time you will see the scale go up and your muscle tone increase. Your buttocks will firm and lift. Your breasts will firm and lift. Your shape will become more hour-glass. You have to stick to it though.
That and, of course, eat healthy! :) Not a bunch of fattening foods. Each the right amounts of each and make sure to get enough protein to build those muscles!
I wish you well!
If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me directly! :)
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I want to make a logo and then have that logo put onto labels that I can stick onto my products (all of different sizes), along with the ingredients and such...what is a good website to have this done at a reasonable price. Thank you. (link)
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You can get these sorts of things all over the internet at reliable sources. There are things like:
http://www.custombusinesslogos.com/
http://thelogocompany.net/
http://www.logodesignguru.com/
And some cheaper version software, specifically designed for logos, if you'd like to try them out yourself:
http://www.logosmartz.com/
I also suggest calling the high schools and colleges around your area and see if they have a graphics design class. Talk with the teacher(s) and see if they would do a project in their classroom regarding your label. Offer a contribution to the school in return for the time they take in their classrooms. It can fun for lots of people and you can get some extremely fresh ideas.
These logos are typically done on photoshop, by the way, so if you have access to this sort of program and have any knowledge on how to create things there you might want to give it a shot yourself.
You might also be able to rent a person who can photoshop for fairly cheap on the internet. These can be really hard to find without a specific service. You might be able to ask for one on Craigslist, paying half upfront and half when the job is completed. If they're professional about anything that is extremely reasonable.
I hope you find what you're needing! :)
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