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am i a virgin or not?
Okay so will someone please explain what exactly happens when you lose your virginity? i am very comfortable with my body and i have hooked up with people but never all the way yet. i know about hymen sort of but where is it excatly? when i feel around it seems like i don't have one or am not a virgin. how can i tell? help?
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If you haven't had vaginal intercourse (where a penis goes inside the vagina), you're a virgin. If you have had sex, then you're not a virgin anymore.
Everyone has different views on virginity though so you'll get a different answer no matter who you ask.
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Your hymen (aka "cherry") is actually not inside of your vagina. If you have a hymen, it can clearly be seen by simply looking at your genitals.
Here are some great drawings of what a hymen is suppose to look like. Be aware that they come in different forms so there are a few drawings to see:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
The hymen usually has a small hole in it as it is. A hymen is made of very thin tissue and it is fairly easy to tear or stretch. It's located at the entrance to the vagina so, actually, it isn't inside of the vagina. The hole is there to allow menstrual blood to escape the body and is usually too small to accommodate an entire penis to enter the vagina.
Since women have a small hole in their hymens anyway things can go into the vagina and, obviously, come out of the vagina. This being said, if a guy got his semen on your vagina in some fashion then there IS a chance of pregnancy to occur.
If you do have vaginal intercourse and you do not completely break/tear your hymen it will stretch out and create a larger hole, just as your vagina will naturally stretch out to accommodate the penis. Some hymens are elastic enough to permit a penis to enter without tearing, or they will tear only partially, and there may be no bleeding at all.
Losing your virginity doesn't mean you have to continue to have sexual relations. It doesn't mean that you have to tell anyone that you've lost your virginity either! Sex is personal and you can plead the fifth on anything you feel uncomfortable with (except doctors, who just need to know for health reasons, of course).
Having a penis inside of you--even just a little bit--means you've lost your virginity. Virginity is not just an emotional thing. Virginity is actually very physical. Some people argue that if the hymen is intact then the virginity remains. That really doesn't make much sense though, does it? I mean, if you engage in SEX with someone and he doesn't FULL penetrate he did still penetrate a little. That and the fact that your hymen can very well stretch to accommodate a penis' entry sometimes.
Then you must take into consideration different forms of sex. You don't have a hymen in your mouth but if you give a guy a blowjob or engage in oral sex with another female it is still engaging in some form of sex. Oral and anal sex is just as risky as any other type of sex and you can get just as many STDs.
If you went to a doctor right now you would probably have to tell them you are sexually active. Oral sex counts. Anal sex counts. Semen getting on you counts. Even just the "head" of the penis entering counts. All of that matters to the doctor and your health. Personally, I think virginity should be on that same level.
What doesn't count, in my opinion? Mouth-to-mouth kissing or anything around those lines. It doesn't have anything to do with genitals, though you can contract STDs (herpes and HPV, specifically). Doctors don't need to know if you've kissed 1 boy, 2 boys, or 20 boys if it was just kissing, you know?
Oh, and for just a last note:
When you're older and you are considering marriage your partner will want to know about your sexual history. Wouldn't it be wrong to say, "I'm a virgin!" if you've given 13 guys blowjobs but not had a penis in your vagina? Your partner would be hurt. I'm not sure why people don't quite understand this but virginity is important to many, many people. It isn't something to take lightly.
I hope I answered your question thoroughly enough. If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)
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There are different definitions of sex and how people view them. There really is not one true idea of a virgin or sexual acts that disqualify you as a virgin. In health class, we considered it as vaginal intercourse. But gay couples can't do that, and we still consider them sexually active even if they don't have vaginal intercourse by a penis. Some people don't have a hymen, some people's are big enough they don't need to tear, and some are even closed far enough to require medical removal so menstrual fluid can come through. Hymens can be broken by activities like sports, horse back riding, inserting a tampon, etc. So breaking it doesn't mean you aren't a virgin. Where you put a tampon is where your hymen is located (or would be). Above it, somewhere. Each girl is different.
I think the general consensus is you aren't a virgin if you have vaginal intercourse.
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If you had sexual intercourse not oral, fingering,anal maturbrating ext. actual sexual intercourse your no longer a virgin but if you havn't had sex your still a virgin.
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