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what the hell am i supposed to do.
Icaught my dad cheating on my mom almost three years ago. walked down stairs saw him on a web cam with another women.... we stopped talking all summer, i never told my mom, i could never ever let my parents split and ruin my life, i was 15, now im almost 18. we finally kinda have a relationship, i mean.. i guess we talk. it kills me everyday, we hardly saw hi, and i never do anything with him. i caught him on weird chat sites.... all the time. and tonight, i found it again, on yahoo. i found his user name, a reallyy fuckin weird one for him, i luv9999... what the hel am i supposed to do. ive been depressedover this shit, for the fact my dad is a fake, im the only one that knows, and my mom is my best friend and im hiding this from her. its killing me. i go to collehge in a year so i cant wait to get out but to know im leaving her here with him. lately two people my parents knew husbands have been arrested for sexual predators with lil kids. it kills me, what if its that? god what am i supposed to do. i cant handle this, i cant see my family part, and i dont even know
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i never told my mom, i could never ever let my parents split and ruin my life, i was 15, now im almost 18.
^^ you said that and i 100% understand what you are saying divorice is really painful, and know one wants to deal with it, but you should of told her the first time you saw him doing that. you said "i couldn't let my parents split it will ruin my life" i hate to say it but that selfish i am not trying to be mean because i really do feel your pain but how do you think your mom feels she doesn't even no that a guy is taking adventage of her he doens't love her and your mom is wasting her time with him and she doesn't even no it how can you keep that HUGE secret from your MOM. it's not fair what he did or is still doing to her and she deserves to no.
i really want to help and i am not saying this to make you mad or sad or feel anything i just believe that you should tell her.
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3 years is a long time to cheat on a spouse. I personally think you should have a talk with Mom and let her know what is really going on. As heartbreaking as it will be to you and your mother solid proof is always good to have. Make sure when you talk to Mom you let her know that if she needs support she can talk to you. I know it's hard..but it helps to lean on one another than to fall of a cliff head on...
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i know beleive me i was in the same situtation and hes the thing i never beleived so i didnt tell my mom but she found out and almost hated me and when she finds outon her own its going to blow up in your face its going to be worse its deff going to put a damper on ur relationship but it can be fixed how would you feel if you were cheated on? i know its easier said than done but someones going to get hurt hun hope i helped and if you need any support let me know good luck
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I'm so sorry for what you're having to go through here.
Deep down, I think you know the right thing to do is tell your mum. You'd want someone to tell you, right?
There's no need to suffer in silence and make yourself sick over your dads wrong doing.
The first step is to tell your mum and THEN figure out your options.
Let her know what happened 3 years ago and if need be, show her your findings now.
You won't be the baddy for telling her.
Good luck, let me know how everything turns out.
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I whole heartedly believe you should tell your mother the truth so that she is aware of the situation as well. If you put yourself in your mother's shoes you would understand wanting to know this sort of thing. If your husband was betraying you and engaging in intimate activities with other women without your consent you would want to know right away.
I also agree that taking your mother out to lunch when telling her this information is probably the best idea. Make an entire day for you and your mother to "bond" a bit. Go out shopping and to lunch or dinner, whichever is most convenient at the time. Tell her that you have something extremely important to talk to her about.
Tell her that three years ago you found out that your dad was cheating on her. Let her know that you were afraid to tell her and that it's the reason why your relationship with your father has crumbled to nothing. Apologize for not telling her sooner! Then lend an ear and a shoulder.
Explain to her that she needs to talk to your dad immediately because his involvement with these women is going on. Tell her everything that you know, including walking down stairs while he was webcamming with other women and whatever you may have heard. Support her confronting him and let her know that she can do this. Suggest to her that she bring up marriage counseling to solve this issue so that the marriage might be saved.
Marriage counseling can help many couples mend their broken relationships. They learn how to communicate more and realize how the other person feels in situations. Your mother needs to confront your father about his unfaithfulness and then suggest they see a marital counselor immediately to salvage what is left and to create a better marriage.
It isn't your fault that your father is cheating on your mother but you shouldn't have let it continued once you knew. Once you bring this issue up to your mother it will be up to her to confront her husband about this situation. From there your only job is to support her confronting him.
Letting this continue will ruin your parents' marriage completely and may end up creating a very devastating life for your mother when she does find out. They always do find out, but, typically, it's too late and when they feel they are completely alone. With your support, your mother is not alone in this. The marriage can still be saved if both parents are willing to work on it.
Talk to your mother.
Don't wait another 3 years.
Figure out when you two can go out (preferably this week) and have a good day. End the day with some lunch and serious conversation. Be supportive and give the suggestion about marital counseling. Apologize to your mother for not coming to her sooner with this important information.
I wish you well and hope it all turns out right. If you have any more question please feel free to ask me directly! :)
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Hun I know how hard it is to see your parents split up but think of your mother not yourself. You are 18 now you should understand. If you were married and your husband was to cheat on you and yours kids or even your friends knew but never said a thing to you how would you feel? Tell your mother. Take her out to lunch and tell her what happen three years ago and tell her you found it again and you just don't know how to deal with it. Tell you are sorry for not saying anything but you thought it was for the best but now you are starting to change your mind. Also you keeping this inside and not telling your mother is ruining you and ruinning your relationship with your father you may never be able to forgive him but at least you will have the ease on you. and my parents got divorced when i was 15 I was also pregnant i felt like it was my fault my father cheated on my mother years ago . and years later they got divorced you never know they may work it out once your mother knows. good luck
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