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Q: So I have this boyfriend I love with all my heart. We've been going out for a little over a year. But like lately Uve been meeting other guys and I don't like them or anything but I always think of like what would happen if I cheated on my boyfriend with one of them. One of these guys, I will be seeing this weekend and I know it's possible something couldl happen. And I don't know. I don't want to cheat, but I might. Helppp!

How old are you? If you're young, it's quite possible that while you love your boyfriend, you crave the freeness that's usually associated with being a teen-- not having to settle down & be serious, but just date around & have fun. There's nothing wrong with being attracted to other people or having these feelings, but how you deal with them is within your control. Something can only happen with this guy if you let him, and if your heart is truly with your boyfriend, you won't let it happen. It's best to let your boyfriend know about your feelings so you can discuss a solution together- perhaps a break- as opposed to you making a mistake & cheating on him.

Q: 17/f
I don't know what to get my boyfriend of 4 months for valentines day. I cant get him a shirt because I already got him that for his birthday. I was thinking chocolates.. but is that enough? If that's not enough.. should I make him dinner? Should it be all fancy with candles and everything? Or should it just be like eating dinner in front of the TV? Any other ideas for what I should get him? Thanks

Perhaps chocolates & dinner? You don't have to go all out, but something a bit fancier than a tv dinner would be cute. After all, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach! It might be cute if you can get everyone out of the house & cook dinner together; in my experience it's a ton of fun and of course, cheap!

Q: As all great stories begin, mine starts the same way... There's this girl. Well anyway there's this girl I work with that I like but I know I can't have. She's really beautiful and cool, so I'm not suprised that she has a great bf that she absolutely loves. They live together and all, so I know I have pretty much zero chance with her. I guess I just like her most b/c she's cool. I guess my question is not "How can I be a homewrecker or How can I be a knight in shining armor?" It's more like "What can I do to get her out of my head?" I know she likes the other guy and all that shit. She likes me and everything, but only as a friend. Don't you hate that phrase? Oh well, I don't care if this doesn't get put up or answered in a stupid way, I just wanted to write out how I felt. Thanks for reading and good night.

"The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else."

=P You may take that literally if you think it's the solution to your problem. There's no way to erase your feelings for this girl. Just let nature take its course & eventually you'll get over her.

Q: A male friend of mine that I've been hoping that one day will become more than friends with me was having a conversation with me one day. We were watching a Dr. Phil show about dead beat parents. I started telling my friend how I would raise my kids if I ever had them one day. My friend was listening intently and seemed to be really interested in what I had to say. Well after this he said to me "so when are you having these kids"? I got a little embarrassed and then told him that I hadn't thought about it (although I had, with HIM being the father) and said that I just knew I would be a great father. Then he said in a really quiet but sweet voice "yes, you would make a great mother some day".
Do you think this may mean he's interested in me as more than a friend, and may be contemplating having a family with me someday? He would make a great father, he's so good with kids.
Oh yeah, I am 28 and he is 45. We've both never had children.
I will rate high!

It's quite possible, but you also need to remain realistic and realize that he may only have meant exactly what he said. It sounds like some subtle references to a possible future together is in order. Don't club him & drag him to your lair to begin the babymaking process just yet, but don't rule out the possibility that he's interested.

Q: 17/m
well, theres this one chick. and shes hot. but thats besides the point. i like her and i THINK she likes me, but she doesn't want to date. she told me some crap about how shes bad with relationships and she wanted to be fwb. I was all like...um, idk. so now were just sort of like...more than friends but less than other stuff...that whole thing. and the other day she told me that she was going to be all protective of me and stuff. and to me, thats like...WHAT THE HELL!? cause its like, you dont want to date me, but you dont want me dating anyone else. so idk what to do, because I really want a relationship. i tried telling her this but she just told me that she's bad with relationships.

There are several basic possibilities here. She could be genuinely afraid of relationships due to past experiences, in which case if you really like her, you just need to be VERY patient.

It's also possible that she likes you, but doesn't want to settle down & commit herself at this point in time.

She may like you, but genuinely isn't good at relationships & doesn't want to hurt you by being in one, so she figures this is the next best thing.

And of course, there's always the possibility that she just wants a FWB. The only way to know is to ask.

Q: Me and my girlfriend of 3 years broke up last friday. I miss her so much, I truly love this girl, my best friend. I feel hurt and at the same time confused, even though we have talked over the phone and even gone to the movies once since the break up 4 days ago. I dont know what to do, all i do is think about her and us, I cant believe its over, i seriously thought this was the "one" i was gonna spend my whole life with. Im done crying but sadness is all over me, I dont know how to deal with all of this. Ive been in many relationships, however, none were as serious as this one. I wanna call her so bad and be with her, i look at our pictures together and i get the need to cry. My question is, should i call her and tell her how much i love her and ask her to get back with me, or should i give it time and not call her for sometime in order to get my thoughts and feelings straight, and allow her the same opportunity?

That depends on who broke up with who. If she broke up with you, I doubt it was a spur of the moment thing, especially considering how long you've been together. It's best to try and move on, and that may require spending some time apart from her. You need to heal before attempting a friendship.

If you broke up with her, go for it, but don't be expecting much, especially depending on why you broke up with her in the first place.

Q: Me and my bf have been dating for about 3 months now. now his ex keeps calling him and tries to talk to him when she knows that he doesnt want to talk to her.. it makes me kinda mad.. how do i get this to stop?¿?

You can't do anything-- it's up to him. Next time she calls (or have him call her), make sure he tells her that he has no interest in talking to her anymore (but make sure this is his decision, and not yours!) Hopefully she'll get the point, but if she doesn't, she's just making a fool out of herself.

Q: Heres my proble im female and im 16 I hope you can help,so to make a long story short i fell for my best guy friend and he lead me on for like 6 months im crazy about him it got to the point where he has become me security blanket. i've been going through a really tough time in my life right now and hes been there for me i'd tell him i loved him and hed say i love too but he wouldnt date me and i asked if him it was okay that im so dependant on him, and he told me yes its fine im here for you etc. and just recently out of the blue he was like you call me too much, I cant be your security balnket anymore plus he met someone and basically he was like here ill give you some space get over me and like now we dont really talk hes ina erlationship with this new girl of his , im so hurt cause he just like left and he promise he'd always be there for me and he promised me alot of things but he did lead me ona nd now hes basically doesnt want anything to do with me and he told me left like he did because he got sick of being my friend and i know that, thats not really the main reason why its because of this new girl and i dont know im still in love with hima nd hes my best guy friend and im so confused and hes said oh im sorry a million times but i just cant forgive him a part of me wants to hate him so much but i jsut cant because i love him and he was the first guy ive ever fallen for and ive cried so much overhim and i just cant let go of him and accpet that he did what he did out of all the people i truey care about he walked out me just like my parents did, How can I get over him i need to so bad all he does is hurt me

If you sense that he's truly sorry in his apologies, perhaps you should give him a second chance. Sometimes guys act like jerks to push us away, because they think it will hurt us less than watching someone we love love someone else.

He hurt you, and you need to tread carefully if you do forgive him. Only forgive him if you know he's never going to do such a stupid thing again.

Q: Okay so i am a 14/f and i have a disability called cerebral palsy (cp). This diability affects my legs and makes me walk very differently from others which can make people juge,stare and make fun of me. Now my friends who are 13 and 14 have a had at least 1 boyfriend and madeout and stuff like that. I have never had or done either of these, is this because of my disbility (does it scare or bother guys?). Aside from the disability i am a normal person with other than this problem a normal socail life....will i ever a romance coming my way?? please be honest no pity.

It's not going to affect your love life in the long run, don't worry =). Granted, when you're young, people tend to be wary of anything "different"-- so I won't lie to you, it could scare guys off just because they're not familiar with it-- but they're not worth your time anyways. The type of guy you want to be with-- one who loves you for you, for your personality, & embraces your disability-- isn't going to care that you walk differently. You're still young-- lots of people with perfectly functioning legs haven't had a boyfriend by age 14-- don't worry about it.

Q: so ive liked this guy for the longest time. we went out for a year and it was great. i was so happy. im not really sure why we broke up. anyways, i cant get over him. i like him so much..more than you could imagine. but i dont WANT to like him. i dont WANT him to be in my mind all day. what i want is to be over him.

any ideas on what to do?

You can't tell your heart to stop having feelings for someone. Try to remember why you broke up in the first place-- even ask him if necessary. You can't fix a problem (which would be either getting over him or patching up your relationship with him) if you don't know what it is.

Of course, you can always sit there & make a list of his awful qualities & read them every time he's on your mind, but I have a feeling that even if you set your mind to it, you won't be able to come up with any really bad qualities.

So really, try to remember why your relationship failed in the first place. There had to have been a reason.

Q: I'm 19/m

I've never masterbated before, and honestly I've never had an urge to.. Am I abnormal?

Of course not. It's a matter of personal preference. You'd be abnormal if you did it for the hell of it because you thought that was the normal thing to do even if you had no interest in doing it. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Q: I really like this guy alot. I have never felt so comfterble with anyone. the thing is we arent going out.. And im not sure if he likes me anymore. I really just wana belike.. "listen I like you alot and I wana be official." Because I like him alot. I just wana blurt out everything I feel but im afraid he doesnt feel the same way! Also theres another thing. I feel so comfterble with him that I kinda wana have sex with him but im a virgin and ive never even been fingerd! But I dont wana give myself away cause im afraid to lose him! WHAT DO I DO?!

I wouldn't do anything until you're official. If he's not willing to commit himself to you, he's not the guy you want to be losing your virginity to. Take a chance & ask him out-- it's better to ask & be rejected, because then you can get over it & if you don't do anything about it, you'll never know. If he does feel the same way, don't rush into things. If he likes you for you, he'll stick around regardless of how far you go physically.

Q: Everytime me and my boyfriend are making out, I always feel like I'm the one leading, and I don't like that. I don't feel like he is kissing me with passion. He just kind of does whatever I do, and lately he hasn't been using as much tongue as he used to. What could this mean? Is he just bored or what? And how can I get him to kiss me with more meaning?

If you're the only one he's ever made out with, he may not be used to it, so he's just following your lead. If he's using less tongue, he may be trying to convey to you that he wants you to use less. Try different ways, & chances are he'll follow.

Q: I really need help, Last year I liked this guy lets call him Dan well Dan and I were talking and liked each other last year but I had a boyfriend last year. Then about 5 months later he said to me that he was just using me for a piece of a$$ but then this year apologized and said it was because I wasn’t giving him the time of day and sort of leading him on. Which is true I didn’t break it off for with my boyfriend and was still talking to him. Now we both like echoer again but hi am going out with someone that I really love to death but for some reason I really like Dan still. And my boyfriend HATES san with a passion and wants to beat him up but I defend Dan and my boyfriend wonders why but I just say because Dan’s like my best friend. So, my question is… should I stay with my boyfriend or go with Dan. Also I want to say that my boyfriend was drunk one night and kissed a girl on the cheek (a girl I hate!!) so that’s another reason why I’m confused. Please help me I’ve been confused for so long

You need to figure out your feelings. You're not being fair to your boyfriend if you want to be with Dan, & it's not fair to lead Dan on either. Figure out what you want, set the record straight, & live with your decision.

Q: Ok I have really really thin lips. Like my ring finger covers my lips if I put it on them. I've never actually kissed a boy before except in a truth or dare game and that was just a quick peck, so I'm not that experienced. The boy that I'm getting close to now has really big lips, maybe the size of your middle+index finger put together. I really want to kiss him but I'm self-consious about how small my lips are. Does anybody have any tips on what I should do?
*remember...ring finger+index & middle finger=???
thanx...
i rate high....

Don't worry about it. It's really not going to make any difference whatsoever. It's more likely that people who kiss won't have the same size lips as opposed to having the same size, & everyone else manages-- you'll be fine.

Q: Well this guy, hes a goth, he asked me out and then we dated, for a week and a half, until i kind of thought he was getting closer to my friend, Emma, and he also kind of avoided me. I talked to him on msn and asked him if he liked her, but he didnt say anything and then i go "Look i dont care about anything, all i want to know is do you still love me?" and he goes "Look there is no point, you have lost my trust what more can you lose?"(i have no idea how i lost his trust..he just said it) and i go "I just want to know Do you like Emma?" and he said "Im sorry i cannot go out with you anymore." and he dumped me. Then next week, he blocked me and deleted me on msn..oh and he looks at me alot in class. We were playing volleyball in sport, and he would look at me alot and yeah. My other friend is in his roll call class and she said he looked upset in roll call class after he dumped me..Please help

You need to talk to him. Ask him what you did to lose his trust & if it's possible to gain it back (& if it's all a huge misunderstanding, tell him that & ask if there's still a chance for you)

Q: A guy friend of mine just recently announced that he was moving to another province for a job, that was about a 10 hour drive from where I live.
I was hoping that one day we would be bf and gf, so I was quite upset when he told me he was moving, and I said it was probably the last time we would see each other.
Well then HE got upset and said he was still going to visit me. Then when I invited him over he told me he would give me his old computer. Well he was true to his word, and gave it to me the next day.
My question is: Do you think it sounds like he is into me as more than a friend? I think he does because he just offered me his computer, he didnt ask for it. Also he got really upset when I said we would probably never see each other again. I think he gave me the computer so would could contact each other.
What do you think?

If you didn't have a computer beforehand, it's possible. Other than that, he may just not have wanted to take it to the new location. He's interested in you in one way or another, even if it's just as friends. Say something to him! If he likes you back, hopefully you can try the long distance thing. If not, you've got nothing to lose-- he'll be gone, & things won't be as awkward online as they would be in person (if he doesn't feel the same way-- it's easier to handle that online afterwards as opposed to in person, when you'd probably be blushing & it'd just be awkward). This is your chance, don't let it pass you by.

Q: Me and this guy were talking for a couple of weeks. We went on dates and had so much fun. Then we just stopped talking because we got mad at eachother. That was about a month an a half ago. I still like him and want to call him but if i do then i'll seem like a total dork. I need some advise on what i should do. I mean I want to start dating him again but i don't want to be the one to that calls him first. Should i just move on because he's not into me anymore, obviously, or what should i do?

If you want to rekindle what you had, you need to make the move. Don't move on without seeing if there's a possibility for you two again. Just call him up, apologize for your part in what happened a while ago, & ask him if he wants to hang out again because you miss him.

Q: so this guy asked me out finally.
but idk if it was a joke..
he asked me on myspace.
heres the exatc convo..
will you go out with me?
really?
yeah i like you alot.
awe.
yeah i dont want to be mean but whats the answer i gtg soon.
yeah sure.
so you will go out with me?
yeah.
then it ended..
the part where he said i like you alot dosent make since.
it could of been a joke.
what do you think.
i really need help
THANKS SO MUCH!
I RATE 5

I don't think it sounds like he's kidding. If he was joking, he wouldn't say the "I like you a lot" part unless he's a complete asshole. Bring it up even jokingly, like "hey boyfriend!" or something like that. You'll be able to tell whether or not he was serious from the way he reacts.

Q: Er, this is kind of embarassing to say, but I have this crush on this guy that I want to get out of my head, I've had a crush on him.. for about 3-4 years now, and it was only last year that I even told some of my close friends. Im in mixed emotions... because I dont want to be with him because I think Im too young for a boyfriend, but then the other side wants to be with him, but I then think of how embarassing that would be or what if he doesnt like me? Even though my friends think he might, there are other girls, since he hasnt been in my class for about 2 years now, and I'm not sure if I can compete.. or even have a chance with him. Especially since Im somewhat shy at first, but as I get used to someone I open up, like with my best friends. I also sometimes get clumsy at moments making me feel sort of awkward. Like at school when Im talking to someone, like a classmate or something, sometimes I mistakenly drop my pencils, or a binder or something, and I guess... well, it happens often. Whenever I imagine growing up and getting married, I imagine getting married to him *blush* GOD, this is so embarrassing to say. Like, I dont really think of anyone else. I'm kind of awkward around boys sometimes, like I just freeze up. And whenever I'm around him, I freeze up like.. well, something that freezes up a lot. He's in my Lunch period this year. I want to know.. well, what should I do? I'm not sure whether to ask whether I have a chance, or anything.. just I'm trusting you guys to give me my LoveSickness medicine.

Don't worry about being young-- you don't need to make a lifelong committment to this guy just yet. If he makes you happy, you need to make an effort to start talking to him. You may find that he's not what you're looking for, or that he's a really great guy & he may return your feelings after you get to know him. You can't just suddenly get over him, especially if you've liked him this long. You need to talk to him-- either it'll get him out of your system, or lead to something great. It's a win-win situation as far as I see it.

bio

My name is Kailey. I'm 17 years old & a senior at a high school in Massachusetts. I'm told that I'm mature for my age, but I'll let you be the judge of that. I love giving advice, but I'll tell you the way I see it, so you may not always like my answers. I especially like giving relationship advice. I don't claim to have all the answers, but I've been in a relationship for almost 2 years now and I feel as though I can give good advice on the subject.