|
HELP please my best guy friend walked out on me
Heres my proble im female and im 16 I hope you can help,so to make a long story short i fell for my best guy friend and he lead me on for like 6 months im crazy about him it got to the point where he has become me security blanket. i've been going through a really tough time in my life right now and hes been there for me i'd tell him i loved him and hed say i love too but he wouldnt date me and i asked if him it was okay that im so dependant on him, and he told me yes its fine im here for you etc. and just recently out of the blue he was like you call me too much, I cant be your security balnket anymore plus he met someone and basically he was like here ill give you some space get over me and like now we dont really talk hes ina erlationship with this new girl of his , im so hurt cause he just like left and he promise he'd always be there for me and he promised me alot of things but he did lead me ona nd now hes basically doesnt want anything to do with me and he told me left like he did because he got sick of being my friend and i know that, thats not really the main reason why its because of this new girl and i dont know im still in love with hima nd hes my best guy friend and im so confused and hes said oh im sorry a million times but i just cant forgive him a part of me wants to hate him so much but i jsut cant because i love him and he was the first guy ive ever fallen for and ive cried so much overhim and i just cant let go of him and accpet that he did what he did out of all the people i truey care about he walked out me just like my parents did, How can I get over him i need to so bad all he does is hurt me
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I can`t tell you how to get over this guy.. But i think you guys both deff. need space.. Not to be mean but maybe your too dependant on this guy.. You should of gave him more space.. Just give him space ofr a couple weeks i know its hard but then give him a call and ask whats up maybe set a date to chill and hang out *maybe be even nice and let him bring his girlfriend* to get to know her and stuff not to be mean and have hate towards her.. You need to except that he doesn`t want more then friends and maybe he felt like he was on the spot when you told him that you loved him.. Yea he might of ment it as maybe friendly i don`t know but he wouldn`t of moved on so quick if he loved you more.. tryin to keep a bit busy might get your problems and this guy off your mind.. Sorry if i didn`t help much.. ♥ Dez
]
well this is something you probably dont want to hear...but really the only thing that can help is time. this guy probably realized how much he cared about you, and got scared. so he stopped interacting with you and is acting like he has moved onto this new girl. give him time and if you mean anything to him he will eventually realize it...it might take awhile, but he will.i would try talking to him and let him know how much it hurt you when he left, and tell him that if its possible for you to be just friends right now, then you wont depend on him so much. alot of guys get scared when they realize how much someone means to them...and they just run. so my advice to you is talk to him, and give him time.hope i helped XoXo (let me know how it works out)
]
You can't just get over him.. it might take you a really long time. I think what he is doing to you is really shady. This other girl seemed like she changed him and he is acting like she is the ONLY important thing in his life. Once she's gone, he will come running back to you. Things won't always end up perfectly, so it's really hard when you get too attached to people. That's why I never don't but I understand how you are feelings. He isn't walking out on you and he will ALWAYS be your friend. It might take him some time to realize that the way he is treating you isn't right. You need to tell him that. I'm sorry's don't always cut it because people will just go off and do the same thing. Just give him some space for now. Don't think so negative and trust me, he doesn't hate you or anything so don't cry. Just talk to him and tell him that you wish you guys had everything back to how it was and tell him that that girl changed him. If he gets upset oh well. He really needs to hear it and he will realize that you are right about this.
]
Wow. You know You maybe just gave him a LITTLE to much dependace, and freaked him out. So, maybe its time Just to clear your head a little. And Realize, That maybe he couldnt take helping you with all your problems. Id forgive him, And then maybe lean on him for things, but maybe just dont make it to were you just like ATTACK him with problems you know? (Kinds seems how it was when you explained it) And let him know that he IS VERy IMPORTANT TO YOU (Even if he does know it)I really think you may need to keep a diary, or like find away to relive your self beacause i feel like you really got ALOT of stress. I tried to help, It was just hard for me.
]
Man. these questions, issues, etc. there tricky. Well i know its going to be hard but you really have to force yourself to. I mean like not just saying "ok get over him..." like actually taking a step up and doing it. So say hes in your cellphone, delete his number, put away stupid pictures of you two together, anything. Maybe delete his screename from your Buddylist and such. Its hard to get over someone when they talk about how much they care for you and their always gonna be there for you but the real answer is you dont need no boy for yourself to rely on. Im sure your a strong, self-powered girl who could make it by without any boy. All that stuff he said, was really just fake and you cant let those words get to you, if hes fallen for a new girl and thats why hes treating you like bull then he isnt a real friend anyway and isnt worth your time-being, so i would just blow him off and if anything happens between him and that girl (break-up or such) just forget him and always know that your going to one day find someone who will always, always stick to his word and be there no matter what. :) HOPE I HELPED
]
I know how you feel. I am so sorry. He's an asshole. He doesn't know what he is missing out on. The best thing you can do is try and move on too. Ya, it is going to be hard. But I believe in you. Maybe you can try and talk to your parents? Even though,you said they walked out on you. The best thing to do is rent a movie(chick flick) sit on a coach and eat ice cream. No I was just kidding. There will be other guys out there I promise. This guy doesn't desire you. You don't just randomly dump your girlfriend for some gross chick.
I know I wasnt very helpful but just give it time and everything will eventually go away. When I got my heart broken last year i think i cried from february til july. I know, you can do so much better than him. You can even tell him i think he's an asshole for dumping someone like you.
Carolynn
]
Well I'd suggest to take a break from him. Get your own thoughts together, and try to enjoy life. Try to find a new hobby, or just do old ones, listen to music, or just hang out with your other friends. This'll help you get your mind off of him if you're distracted with other things. And then maybe after awhile, start talking to him again and building up a better friendship. Cause I've had the feeling. You wanna hate them, but you can't. But hating does no good, it'll only make things worse probably. I think the only reason he's not being your security blanket is because he has a girlfriend now, and he needs to be her security blanket, and I guess he can't be a security blanket for two girls. I would just try and find someone else who can be your security blanket :] I hope I helped.
Love,
MELii
]
I know what it is like to be in your situation. the same thing happened to me with some guy and he was my first love. It was really hard seeing every wed. and every sunday and he acts like nothing ever appened or he never hurt me and i just pretend like he didnt hurt me. The best thing is to find something you love with a passion like when i am angry i like to play my guitar and gets all my anger out. If you find something to kept yourself occupied and to keep your mind off him and your situation. I have learned not to trust anyone and i push everything that comes close and its lonely b/c i push everyone away dont be like me. He is ajerk and you can someone better someone you really care about and have a feeling that you can trust them no matter what and i bet you are going to find that person. I know it is going to take awile for you to get over him but it is one of those things that you have to take one day at a time. He is doing this b/c he knows you care if you show a good attiude in front of him like you dont care now he will regret ever doing that to you. I bet he already does.
]
I think you're right - a big part of why he has left is because of his new girlfriend. Many girls would feel uncomfortable (rightly or wrongly) with their new boyfriend having a close female friend; his having a friend AS close as you would probably bother her even more.
The thing about life is that other people can't be our security blankets, no matter how safe or loved they make us feel. But if you take a step out of the pain and look at how he's treated you, it doesn't seem he's offering you a lot of love or safety right now.
To be fair to him, he never said he wanted to date you. He doesn't seem to have wanted a relationship. But to be fair to YOU, you did ask him if he was comfortable with the level of your needs - and he said he was.
Either way, he's behaved in a hurtful way. And because you love him, you'll go through the same levels of pain as a girlfriend would.
How to deal?
Well, first you have to understand that you're worthy of people who WILL stick around and be there for you. People who will love you for you, people who will stay there through the thick and thin. Those types of friends and relationships will come if you allow them to.
It sounds like this guy's leaving you reminds you of your parents leaving - and so in many ways, you have two big problems to deal with at the same time.
Open yourself to that pain. Don't block it off. Cry, punch a pillow, talk with other friends, write in a journal, rip pictures of out magazines and glue them onto a collage, go see a counsellor, spend some time alone outside, watch movies, hang out with other friends.
Basically, you'll have to find the way that allows you to best deal with everything. People are stronger than they think they can be, and this experience might just show you how incredible you really are.
I wish you the very best in life and love.
]
yeah well i would def not waste my time on him. He sounds like a complete jerk. Its going to be hard to move on because he is your "first love" and all but your going to have to. Start hanging out with new people and making new friends. Try not talking to him as much, make him feel like its his loss, and that your completely fine without him even though it will be very hard. Well i hope this helps...good luck! :):)
]
Well, I think what happened was he put you in the "friend zone". Being in the friend zone is one of the worst possible things that can happen. You want to date him so bad and he leads you on so much, but won't date you because you're his friend. You're such a good friend to him and you're understanding and you love each other, but he just won't date you. This can be broken, but it's not easy. The reason he's avoiding you isn't because he doesn't like you or love you or because you annoy him or anything. He feels that by being so close to you, even though you're just friends, he's taking away from his girlfriend. He doesn't want her to break up with him because of you or anything and he sees you as a kind of threat to his current relationship. Don't worry, he still loves you, cares about you, and understands you the same. To tell you the truth the same exact thing happened to me last year and sparked the same exact feelings in me. I got so depressed and so sad because I "knew" that I'd end up with the guy. Two days after I told him I loved him he told me he had a girlfriend. I wondered what was wrong with me and why he didn't want to be with me. It took me awhile to get over him, but a month later I was in a relationship of my own. Even though I was still upset about him and still wanted to be with him, it was making me unhappy. I realized that I needed to do something. Because I was dating someone else it took my mond off of him. I'm over him now and have been for awhile. My boyfriend helped me, especially since he knew about it and I've been with him for a little over a year now. The guy I wanted to date has started talking to me again and we're still very good friends. My advice to you is to do what he's doing. Earlier, I said "He feels that by being so close to you, even though you're just friends, he's taking away from his girlfriend." You should find a relationship of your own. There's still a chance that you can be with your friend in the future, but for the time being, be happy and get over him. I hope I helped and good luck!
]
Well as much as it's going to hurt you probably, to get over him.. you need to stop talking to him and everything. I know you want to hate him and everything, but no good will come of that. That'll only bring more hurt for you in the end. Since he's been apologizing just forgive him, but tell him you don't want to talk to him for awhile. You want to be left alone. And just focus that time on the better things. Friends, school, hobbies, try finding new hobbies maybe and just focus your attention elsewhere and try to move all your focus away from him. Also listen to music. That can get stuck in your head forever. Just anything that has to do with him.. don't do it. It'll just bring back memories. And then maybe in the future whenever you get over him, you can be friends with him. The reason he might not be able to be your security blanket anymore is because of his new girlfriend. I'm not saying it's her fault or anything it's just that since he's her boyfriend, he's going to want to be her security blanket. I know.. it sucks. =/ It might take awhile to get over him, and I know it's gonna be really hard to.. but after awhile, you'll start to get over him. And then you'll find someone new who will want to always be your security blanket. If you want to talk more, IM me at:
imELECTRiCbaby x
I'm usually on. :]
Love,
MEL <3
]
wow that is complicated. well i dont know what kind of answer you want but i can say that if you think you really do love him then you might forgive him in time. but if he hurt you so much that you cant forgive him then id say maybe move on. it probably was all started with his new girl. i mean guys are just weird. lol. but yea maybe give him some more time and see if you can forgive him. but if not then move on to someone new. good luck! and if you wanna talk some more my aim is: blooeyedguitar
simone
]
If you sense that he's truly sorry in his apologies, perhaps you should give him a second chance. Sometimes guys act like jerks to push us away, because they think it will hurt us less than watching someone we love love someone else.
He hurt you, and you need to tread carefully if you do forgive him. Only forgive him if you know he's never going to do such a stupid thing again.
]
That guy sucks eggs.
Get over it. He's not worth your time if he's going to treat you like crap like that.
God should be your security blanket.
not a stupid guy who isn't worth your attention.
if he comes crawling back to you because his gf broke up with him, tell him 2 4get it you dont need 2 be treated like that.
]
Well, i can honestly say that i've been through the exact same thing 4 years ago so i know exactly what you are going through. i fell for my best guy friend just as we started to get really close, at the same time my paretns split up and one of them totally walked out on our family. I know it hurts so bad when someone says they will always be there and then they just leave like you guys didntt even have a friendship, ecspecially when you are having personal family problems. Plus i'm still trying to get over this guy because i wont get him outta my life. and its been 4 years.
I'd say screw him.............hes just gonna keep hurting you and comming in and out of your life just because he KNOWS HE CAN. and that wont be good for you. you def. need time away from this guys.
Plus since you love him, even just being in his life and being his friend, you will have to see him with his girlfriend and that will kill you, trust me. that will make it 10 times worse. i would say screw him for now and try to talk to another friend that you know what leave you and get through your family problems before you try to deal with him. hope i helped some.
]
More Questions: |