askkailey
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Q: Well i dated a girl about a few years back. we went out for about a year; things happens blah blah blah. well anyways i still like her and i feel the same way. i've always wanted her to be my first but i dont know if that'd...happen.

This other girl, whose really into me. Seems to want the same relationship we have..and inside i feel that i cant replace what we had. But she wants to have sex with me, and i sware i am soo tempted but both the abstinence thing and the girl is stopping me. i dont want to regret anything, all i know for sure is that i want the first girl to be the girl i marry =\

really dramatic but if you can help thanks a million
You'll never regret waiting (I'm not talking about waiting for marraige, just waiting in general & not rushing into sex), but there's a huge chance that you'll regret having sex with the second girl. It sounds like the first girl has your heart, & you should always trust your heart over your body. It may be tempting to have sex with the second girl, but all you need is a little self control & you'll be fine. You can't force a connection with someone. If it's not there with the second girl, don't do anything you'll regret.

Q: I am very sad!!

Last night my bf asked me if I think that I was ready for marriage ..I was surprise and happy of course .He just pop up with the question if I love him and if I want to marry him one day .
I said yes ...I was really happy.
After that we kept on talking about marriage and stuff than I told him that If I ought to marry him I want to keep my own lastname ....He got really mad and told me that he doesn't like my desicion.

The real reason why I wouldn't like his lastname is that his parents has the same last name and they really hate me and do really bad and nasty stuff to me .THEY HURT ME A LOT,
It's really hard for me to go around with the lastname of my biggest enemies
I love my bf ..we had been A LOT to be togheter ..his parents did the imposible things to seperate us ..They are really jealous about their son.
The second reason is that my dad has more than 5 childrens and he only gave me his lastname ..I'm proud to have this lastname and I really don't want to change it..

Can anyone understand me ?????
I don't want to hurt him but how to explain to him this strange feeling ?
I'm really sad ..
Explain the situation to him. Focus on the part about your dad, not your hatred for his parents. Just explain to him that your dad giving you his name meant a lot to you and although you love him, you don't want to give up that special gift. It doesn't mean you love him any less or anything of the sort.

Q: Last night I cheated on my boyfriend.
I kissed another guy.
I feel really bad about it.
How can I clear my consience without telling him?
I really don't want to tell him.
What should I do?
It's really not fair of you to not tell him. He deserves to know. How would you feel if he cheated on you and then didn't tell you? Relationships can't succeed without honesty. If you truly love, respect, and care for your boyfriend, you'll do the right thing and be honest with him.

Q: Just out of pure curiosity, if a girl is dating a guy and say she's 16 and he's 17. When the guy turns 18, legally do they have to break up?

Thanks, Female, 14.
As far as I know, there are no laws regarding dating. The age of consent only applies to sexual contact, so if they're not sexually active, they don't need to worry.

Q: i'm a 10th grader who's never had a gf before (pretty pathetic, but whatever). im really bad with asking girls out and whatnot. anyhoo, im really really good friends with this girl, shes a year younger than me, and we both tell each other everything. ive liked her for a little while, maybe a few weeks, but she tells me that she likes a senior in our school. now idk if she actually does like him, or if she's just saying that to cover up that she likes me, but we always hang out, we've never gotten mad at each other, we know everything about neach other, and we never get tired of hanging out (we've actually pissed her friends off once or twice cuz we hang out so much). anyway, what do i do? thanks
First of all, please ignore the moron that is someone_2_help_u779.

Secondly, not having a girlfriend yet doesn't make you pathetic. I didn't get a boyfriend until sophomore year (I'm now a junior) & I honestly think it's better that I didn't waste my time with pathetic middle school relationships. My situation was actually pretty similar to yours- I was best friends with this guy a grade above me, we hung out all the time, I could tell him anything & everything. Since I never thought it was possible that he could like me back, I never said anything & we'd often discuss the people that we were interested in- we both liked other people but secretly wanted each other. My situation turned out fabulous once he asked me out.

The point of telling you all that was to give you some hope, but there's also a chance that she only sees you as friends. If you feel that you could continue to be her friend if you confessed your feelings & she didn't feel the same way, then I say go for it & tell her how you feel. Things will be a bit awkward if she doesn't feel the same way, but you can still be friends as long as you don't feel so embarassed that you push her away.

This could go either way. You could find yourself in a fabulous relationship or be rejected, but it's better to act & risk getting hurt than wonder "what if?" forever. If you do decide to talk to her, I'd love to hear how it went just because I'm nosy, so if you'd like to talk about it my AIM is Kaaailey & my email is ookaileyoo@yahoo.com

Good luck!

Q: I'm 16/f and my bf is 17/m. Sometimes he acts soooo immature and after a while it gets annoying.


The other day I was at his house and he was acting like a little kid making random noises, talking about burping, jumping around like his house was a trampoline, and making stupid comments about everything.


So I said, "Stop acting like a five year old and grow up. I swear you act like my little brother"


I guess that kind of upset him because he didn't really talk to me after that. And today, he had an away message up that said "'acting like a 5-year-old' with Mike hit the cell"


I don't know if I should apologize or what because I know I might have hurt his feelings but I feel like he needs to know that he can't act like that all the time. What should I do?
Yes, apologize to him. How would you have felt if the situation was reversed & he had said that to you? If you're frustrated with how he acts, talk to him about it like adults. Don't say "it's annoying when you act like that, you need to stop", but something like "I feel ___ when you act like that". Just remember that he is how he is, & you can't change him.

Q: okay, so i have known this girl for a long time, and i think she is the most beautiful girl on the planet, and i absolutely love her, but last year, i asked her out, and she said no and completely shunned me and the whole school makes fun of me now. i love her, and i would really like her to know that, and i want her to be my friend at least again, but she won't even talk to me since then. i even had to spend 2 hours with her during this group activity the other day at school, and she didn't say A WORD!!! not a single thing (to me, anyway). so does anyone have any thing that could get her to like me again? a certain charm, something to say, a style change, anything? it would really help...

THNX!!!!!
( i rate high for good answers!!!!)
Changing yourself to please someone is just setting yourself up for failure. If she doesn't like you for who you are, then that's that. If you change & she likes you then, she only likes you for what you APPEAR to be & not who you truly are, & who wants that?

Q: I am 19 and my girlfriend is in her mid-twenties with a 4-year degree and a new degree she's workign on. I am in community college with no job or direction. She has been with me for seven months, but now she has decided that she has to "give it a chance" with the guy she saw (not seriously) before me because he's more marriage material. Now she's spending all spring break with him and I am supposed to wait here as her plan B. What do I do?
Never settle for second best. It shouldn't be a matter of who is more "marriage material", but who she feels more of a connection with. If she's willing to drop you & expect you to stick around, she's not worth your time. Find someone who will love & appreciate you as much as you do her.

Q: hi,i'm Aaryn.i'm 13 and need your help girl.i like a guy and want to know how do u know when a guy likes u? he tells me he loves me everyday and he plays with people too much.he admits he messes with other girls also, but he dosen't treat them like as sweet as he treats me. i just want to know how u know when a guy likes u? PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The fact that he's the same way with other girls is a huuuge warning sign. I'll give him credit for admitting it, but don't let him fool you into thinking that he treats you better/is more interested in you than the others. It sounds like he likes you, but he's not relationship material. Pursuing anything with him will definitely end in heartbreak, so don't waste your time. Find a guy who will treat you right & focus on you as opposed to a group of girls.

Q: I have a great girlfriend, one I've been going out for nearly three years now. We have never really fought or argued or been mad at each other or anything. We both have problems here and there with school and home, but small ones with each other. I do need advice on that though...See, my teacher once told me two years ago that most if not all guys will hear a girl tell her problem and then go to try and solve it, when really the girl just wanted him to listen and hear her out. Is that true? Sometimes I find myself doing that, even after thinking about what my teacher said. So my question is...does being a listener and just talking about a problem count just as much as trying to come up with a solution. For these kinds of problems I mean things like: yeah my friends did this to me; I'm not sure what to do about this sport; I feel a certain way when ___; etc. It does seem that half the time she tells me something, I right away try to come up with a solution or tell her what to do about it. It usually ends up falling right back in my face, or making her feel upset. Would you (girls) appreciate it more if the guy that was there...helped out with a solution, just listened to you about it and talked to you about it, or a little of each. Thanks, I would really appreciate it.
A little of both is best in my opinion. It depends on the problem. If she's having problems with friends or something, she may just want to rant as opposed to hunt for a solution. Sometimes a listener is really all we want, someone to hold us & kiss us & tell us it's going to be okay. Other times we do want a solution, so a mixture of both is your best bet.

Q: I really want a boyfriend. I've had one before but he was unreliable and I'd like someone better. With Valintine's (sp?) Day coming up I really want this to be my chance. Well there are two guys I like and I'm going to use letters so if you don't like it don't answer it.

Let's begin with A. A is hot and popular. Really popular. Yet, he's different from all the other popular guys. He's sweet and funny. We always talk in language class and he writes these beautiful poems. The only thing is he never notices me outside of language.

Now it's J. J is hot but unpopular. He's funny and awesome. We don't talk much but sometimes exchange a few words online. In gym he constantly stares at me though.

So my question is which guy should I go for? Which do you think is more worth it? Should I forget about both of them?
This isn't something you want to hear, so if you're only looking for happy, positive advice, I suggest you stop reading now.

Your reasons for wanting a boyfriend are stupid. Yeah, it sucks being alone on V-day, but it's incredibly stupid to go looking for a boyfriend for that purpose. Any relationship that begins because you want a boyfriend is doomed to failure and quite frankly a waste of your time. You should want a boyfriend because you like a certain guy, not just for the sake of saying "I have a boyfriend!" Until you're comfortable alone, you're never going to be happy in a relationship & in seeking relationships regardless, you're subjecting yourself to unnecessary misery.

As for who you decide you like more, you need to screw the whole "he's popular, he's not" thing. That's amazingly shallow. Like a guy for who he is, not his status in high school. If it didn't matter to you, you wouldn't have said it. Reevaluate your priorities before you go searching for a boyfriend.

Q: I've almost been with my gf for 1 year and was wondering what i should do for our 1 year aniversary... thanks
In my humble opinion, simplicity is best. For our one year, my boyfriend took me to all the places that were significant in our relationship, like where he first realized he liked me, when he first fell in love with me, our first kiss, etc. Then we went back to his place & he had cooked me dinner & had candles & roses & such & it was just adorable.

Basically, there's no need to spend a ton of money. Cute little romantic gestures are more than enough.

Q: its gotten tot he point where I feel so low about myself I could crawl into my bed and never come out. I want to be with someone that makes me feel special.. Why cant i find that guy?

Ive never had a bf treat me good and for a long time now i havent had a bf.

Im a normal girl and I know im not realllly ugly.. I actualy sometimes think im pretty..

I have talents and yes I have flaws. But i think id be a really good girlfriend.

what can I do?
Stop looking for him. The perfect guy for you isn't someone you hunt for. He'll come your way eventually, and there's nothing you can do to speed up the process. You have to learn to love yourself as an individual first before you can have a successful relationship. The "I have talents & I have flaws" thing was good, but "I think I'd be a really good girlfriend" is not. Don't mope around because you don't have a boyfriend. Don't worry about finding a boyfriend because you'd be a good girlfriend. Wait for the right guy, or go out & find him by meeting people, but don't try to force anything.

Q: I love reading romantic books. Like teen ones, that are simple but really cute. I just read guitar highway rose, and i loved it. DOes anyone know any books like that? That are romantic but easy to understand?
thanks
Nicholas Sparks is simply amazing. I just finished reading At First Sight & it was just..wow.

Jodi Picoult is excellent as well. I've only read two books by her, and neither fall into the catergory of a traditional love story, but the romances involved are awesome.

Q: are there significant meanings in the way a guys honds your hands.. like if he always wants to have interlacing fingers ...doesn that mean something ?

and is there amy sites that cant tell you the meanings of this stuff...like he always kisses my neck..what does that mean ?

thanks !!

by the way im 16 female
thanks
ill rate for good answers!
There are sites that tell you things like that, but really, it's just a bunch of crap. Sites like those will tell you "a kiss on the neck = I want to have your babies!" He likes you. He likes to hold your hand, and he likes to kiss your neck. It's as simple as that.

Q: do girls call their boyfriends baby or is that just something guys call the girl.?
They can if they want. It works both ways. I call my boyfriend baby, sweetie, honey, sweetheart, lovey, babe, & a variety of other dorky little nicknames. He uses the same for me. They're pretty much unisex.

Q: First off, im sorry this is so long i really need advice thou, and i rate high

My boyfriend and I have been together a LONG time and i love him so much. but sometimes he can be a pain. His best friend (whos a girl) and him are really close. He talks about her all the time, and whenever i ask him questions about if he had to be with someone else who he would be with he says her. They've liked eachother before and they flirt like crazy! They say they dont love eachother but i cant help but worry. also their planning on going to the same college, and my boyfriend and i are really serious and plan to stay together throw college even though we will be attending diffrent schools. and we know we will have breaks but he says he knows he will probably have feelings for her at one time. I broke up with him at one point but i realized how much i love him and shouldnt worry. When i try to talk to him he gets really angry and i dont know what to do. thank you soo much!
My initial advice to you changed once I read that "he knows he will probably have feelings for her at one time". I'll still give you that, then update it concerning that line.

Don't be jealous of his friends. Would you be jealous of their closeness if his best friend was a girl? I seriously doubt that. Of course it's human nature to get jealous sometimes, but as long as you trust him, don't worry about it. What you perceive as flirting really could just be friendly behavior; despite the fact that they liked each other at one point, the past is the past. Leave it there. It's understandable that he gets angry about it, I've experienced firsthand how frustrating it is when someone misinterprets your relationship with another person.

As for the feelings thing..THAT you need to talk about. One one hand, at least he was being honest, but on the other..I don't know what to tell you. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'd be willing.

Q: I have a simple question that could have a lot of answers. What is a girl's favorite scent on a guy? Specifically, please.
Adidas cologne. Just the smell alone practically leads girls to orgasm =P

Q: I am a male, 15, and lately I've been wondering about something. There are many girls in our school and grade. I am a gentleman and open doors, get chairs, etc. for the girls. It is pretty much the same way with my friends, we are all like that. But the girls in our school keep saying they like "skaters" or "skaters are soo hot" and we really are wondering what is wrong with us. Not to boast, but all of us are good looking. The girls just keep talking about "skaters." So why is it like this, and do girls not like gentlemen or something?
Some girls don't. Some girls prefer the bad boy. Some girls prefer the gentlemen. Some girls prefer the gentlemen, but seem to enjoy getting their hearts stomped on by the bad boys.

Don't change to get girls, please. In the long run, the nice guy always wins. Not that skaters can't be nice guys..but you get the point. In the end, nearly every girl enjoys being treated like a princess. It's just that at this age, we tend to be foolish & are more attracted to the asshole than the good guy, don't ask me why.

Q: okay... so me and my boyfriend were dating for two years we had a GREAT relationship we were best friends, and loved eachother very very much!but the last month or two of our relationship he was starting to feel like "distant" from me and so of course i asked him about it and he always said nothing or i dont kno.. and i didnt want to annoy him about it so i let it go, but then he told me that he thinks he needs a break not just for him but for me too! and that last 3 days and i cried the whole time and he told me taht it was too hard and it wasnt worth it and that he loved me so much.. and so everything was better. then we go out of town for a week and i felt once again "distant" from himyet AGAIN! and the next day that we got home i talked to him about it and i didnt kno that that was going to be the end.. but he just said that alot of things are going on rite now and he wanted a break.. just a break!! and then i saw messages on the famous myspace from him and some girl and they started before we even broke up... and i got upset.. and then i just assumed that they mite like eachother...and i got over it.. whatever! but then i found out that he had been lieing to me.. he took her to the movies before and to parties and stuff..and i kno that we werent going out but we were still GREAT friends and we still told eachother that we loved eachother.. and regretfully we ahd sex, so of course this hurt me... and when i confronted him he said that he didnt kno what to say and tahts why he lied about everything... and trust me this is not the guy that i kno... he has NEVER lied to me. but then this so called break turned into a thing where he wanted to live his life.. and he still loves me but he is a senior and he has never been with another girl.. (i was his first EVERYTHING) and stuff.. and that of course jsut hurt me so bad... and now we are friends but he goes over to that girls house, and he tells me and even she told me taht they dont like eachother like that.. but they hang out by themselvs all the time! and i hate it.. and i kno that i shouldnt.. but i do. and he tells me that he loves me.. and he even cries whenever we talk about us.. bc he says taht he scared bc he mite be messing up the greatest thing that he has ever had.. and when i ask then why are you doing it.. he says he has to find out... =/ and i dont kno what to do.. we still hang out and stuff.. but it hurts me.. and i dont want to care but i do.. and i just want to be with him again... and i kno that is selfsih of me.. but i just cant help it.. we were soo happy....=( so can someone please give me some kind of advice.. i dont really kno what im asking for exactly.. just help!
Try dating other guys. Nothing serious, nothing to make him jealous, just to see what's out there. That's the problem with high school relationships- people can fall in love, but sometimes they can't help feeling like they're missing out on the fun part of being young- dating around, not having to be serious, etc.

Don't doubt for a second that he loves you. He's just confused, and as much as he's hurting the both of you, sometimes you have to experience things with other people to realize how much you don't want to be with them. This is so corny, but think of Cory & Topanga from Boy Meets World. They had to break up, kiss other people..& realize that there was NOTHING that could top what they had. It's just like your situation.

It's nice for you to be understanding, but you're not expected to be a saint, either. Don't let this go on too long-- if it takes him that long to realize that you're the only one he wants to be with, maybe it's best to move on. After a while, I'd suggest having a talk with him & laying all your feelings out on the table. Situations like these can make or break the relationship. I wish you the best of luck & I hope he realizes that you're the only one for him!

bio
kailey
My name is Kailey. I'm 17 years old & a senior at a high school in Massachusetts. I'm told that I'm mature for my age, but I'll let you be the judge of that. I love giving advice, but I'll tell you the way I see it, so you may not always like my answers. I especially like giving relationship advice. I don't claim to have all the answers, but I've been in a relationship for almost 2 years now and I feel as though I can give good advice on the subject.

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Gender:
Female

Location:
Massachusetts

Occupation:
Student

Age:
17

MSN:
ookaileyoo@yahoo.com

Member Since:
November 27, 2005

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December 1, 2006

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