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Q: My boyfriend & I were on the phone a few nights ago & everything was fine. Then I started talking about a dream I had where we broke up & he seemed to be interested in what happened. I was worried he was going to break up with me so I said "As for breaking up in the near future..." & I realized a few days later that putting 2 and 2 together, it sounds like *I* wanted to break up with him. A little bit after that he called me back & started saying how he talked to his dad & he wanted to slow things down. Then by the end of the night we had no more relationship. I know this is hard to explain but the next day we talked & I said I still had feelings for him & I didn't want him to think I wanted to break up. He told me neither did he but he did it because it got scared & now it sounds like a good idea to him. Needless to say, I want to get back together. I can't believe this has ended, it really affected me & I want things back to normal. What should I do? I've already tried talking it out with him & I admited that I still like him but it feels like he's not gonna bounce back. He wants to be best friends but I'm not sure if I can be JUST his friend...

What a really bad ending, you've got to talk to him again. Thats terrible! You need to call him or something and ask him what went wrong. Ask him how he felt about the dream and everything. You really need to tell him how bad you feel about the relationship ending over a dream about a break-up. Explain to him that even though he feels like it was a good idea, that there was no need to be scared, and you were just sharing a dream with him. You really need to talk to him and ask him what happened, and that you feel really bad that things ended so quickly. You need to be heard.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: okay so there's this guy, and i'm kinda in love with him. but we broke up like before the summer even started. and everywhere i see him, he's with a different girl. he's like a man-whore or sumthin lol. but i'm still soo in love with him. and i've told his best friend that and stuff. i need him so bad right now but he's so outta my league now. what can i do??

Thats too bad that things didn't work out. But, you are taking this really maturily, because I noticed that you weren't asking how to get this guy back, you have realized that you can't have him anymore, and thats just about the first step to getting over a crush or a break up, accepting the fact that you aren't going to be with him. As sad as that is, you'll be able to move on and find someone else. I know you feel like you really need him, but, you have to think about who he is now. Basically, you need to get on the track of your life, picking up from there and just going through your life, just live it. One thing that will keep you really busy is to try to set high goals for school. When you sit alone at home, or just don't do anything, you start thinking of your misery, but if you start getting busy, you won't have time to stop and think about other things but what you're busy with. If you have a close friend, confide in her, and talk about the guy until you run out of things to say, but you have to set a rule when it comes to that. Tell your friend not to try to talk to the guy, or hook you back up, or put ideas in your head about hooking back up. But, basically, you have to pick up with your own life, even when its rough, just keep going.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: i've been really depressed lately... little things are depressing me.. i've been feeling like physicly(spelling sorry!) empty in my stomach... i'll eat like regular then i'll be running and it feels like i can FEEL the water sloshing in my stomach... i've felt sick to my stomach too... so is this normal? or am i just regular sick and depressed at he same time?

You are probably experiancing some down times, and sometimes they are unexplained or unknown reasons why. You may be having an upset stomach, maybe some tums or something to pack would be good. You could be getting ill, maybe you should ask your parents about the sickness, and if you think the sad feelings are there too much, then you should talk to them about that too. Try to think of something that could be bothering you, even if its stupid to you, or the littlest thing you hate admitting to yourself, just find it, and figure out a way you can make it better or change the problem. But, most likely, you're just having unexplained sad feelings. Its always good to try to figure out what could be bothering you, a problem with friends, family issues, boyfriend/crush issues, or you just feel sad for no reason.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: My best friend who isn't a virgin, and I am 18 and am still a virgin, by choice I feel that I should wait until I am truly in love. Well any ways we got in to a fight to day and she said some ignorant thing, saying that I am a virgin because I can't get none. Which is so not true. I don't know if I should still be friends with her or not. And then we get in to fights because she is with her boy friend all the time, and we never spend any time together except for school. what should I do

Your friend sounds really rude, and I wouldn't want to be her friend if she said the things she said to you. You both know that what she said wasn't true, I think that was a really quick and easy defense to pull out on you to upset you, or win the arguement. You both have different views on sex, and she needs to respect your view on it. I know you probably just want your friend to not have sex, and everything, but unfortunatly, we don't have control over others and their choices. If your friend wants to be with her boyfriend a lot, just let her, and the next time you guys talk, you need to tell her that it didn't make you feel so good to be told what she said to you, and it wasn't something a best friend would even think of saying, if she doesn't apologize, and is rude, you should stop hanging out with her. I think she might be mad because you waited and thats a really good reputation to have, and its usually a reputation everyone wants later in their lives.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: umm....hi. my name is marie, and i'm sixteen. i live in st. louis, MO and i have a wonderful boyfriend, Johnny. We had sex a few weeks back and i'm pregnant. I love children, but i can't tell my mom, and i can't have an abortion, i would have to have parental consent. i really want to have this baby, but i can't tell my mom, she'll kick me out, and i don't want to tell Johnny either, i'm too scared. i've taken 3 home pregnancy tests that friends have brought to me at school, and i even skipped class to go see my Gynecologist, and he said that i am pregnant. i know you probably have never gone through this, but your the one my friend gave me to ask this question. if you could answer as soon as possible that would be great.

Thanks a million times infinte
Marie McClean

Thank you for asking first off. I know it seems scary to tell your mom the truth, but you can't let the fear of being kicked out stop you. You've got to tell her, she'll find out somehow, so you won't be able to hide it forever from her. Your mom knows that it won't solve anything to kick you out, she knows that anything she says or does won't make you no longer pregnant. And, your boyfriend has to know about this, too. If hes as wonderful as you say, then he will understand and support you and his your child together. When you get it off of your chest, you will feel a lot better, you're right, I don't know what this is like, but I do know what its like to be really scared of telling someone something. You need to go tell your boyfriend first, and have just you, or both of you, tell your mom together, or something. But, she has to know. If you need anymore help, please ask me or update on how you're doing, but if you don't post to me again, I wish you luck and a safe delivery for your baby.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: Ok, my name is Adrianna and i'm fifteen. And I (Obviously) need some help. See, people at my school think i'm a poser. And it really pisses me off. Because I have NEVER talked to any of the people that call me it. So they base it all on the way I dress. Call me crazy but, I have always bought things based on if I liked them or not. So I shop everywhere. Hot topic, Abercrombie and Fitch, JCPennys, hell even the thrift store if I really like it. So like, I want people to understand that i'm not trying to be something, i'm not trying to be a "Punk" or a "Prep" I could honestly give a shit less. I understand that not everyone is going to like you but, it really upsets me that people don't like me based on the clothes I wear. I don't know what to do. I want these people to just stop.

Ugh, I know this is stupid and cliched. So bear with me.

You can't really make people in school understand that you aren't something they are saying you are. If you know that you aren't a poser, you should be happy with that and ignore the comments or rumors that head your way about you. I know I make it sound easy, but if people see that you could really care less what they are talking about that week, they'll find a new story the next week. Theres no reason to list what you wear, if you know that you aren't something the school claims you are, then you aren't. Only you would know whether you're trying to be something or not. I know sometimes it gets hard to not ignore, but as long as you don't show anger or concern with the rumors. Just act like you're laughing and say, "you mean I'm actually being talked about at this school? I'm noticed?" And go along with your day.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: everytime i get a bf i tend to push him away like after a day or two i dont like him anymore
then when i lose him i want him back
why do i always do this why does this always happen

I think you're having trouble holding on. Try giving a guy you like a chance, even when theres a moment, or a day you feel like you don't like him, give this guy a fair chance and get to know him. Keep in mind how much you regret dumping a guy when you think of getting rid of another one. Its ok to date around, but it sounds like you're moving a little too fast. Slow it down and get to know a guy, you don't really know if you like him or not yet until you get to know him a little more.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: my friend is 13 and she had sex with a sixteen year old and she got pregnant because her cheap boyfriend couldn't spare the extra 3 dollars to buy the good condoms and it ripped, so now she's all excited about having a baby and i told its nothing to be excited about and i told her that when your that young and have a baby that its not very safe and you could die is it true?

and by the way i love my friend to death and i have know clue what to say to her about the whole thing and she's mad that everyone is calling her a slut which she is!

The only thing that I can tell you is that your friend made a bad choice, you know that already. And your friend will see how bad that choice was when her baby is born, I'm not saying that things will be horrible, but she will see everything that shes gave up for sex. So, try not to really tell her how bad things will be, because she'll see it, she gave up her childhood, and it will be way too hard not to notice that fact. Support and help your best friend, even though you feel upset with what shes done. Think of this as a learning experiance for you. At least you know that you'll never get together with a sixteen year old boy when you're only thirteen, and if you ever go and have sex too young, you can think of your best friends' life, and ask yourself if its all worth risking. I hope you understand that sixteen is too old for thirteen right now. Later on in life, 2 years will mean nothing, but as of right now when you're a minor, it means your life. I know that you might agree with everyone who is calling her a slut, but she can't erase this big mistake shes made, so calling her a slut won't change the fact that shes pregnant. All you can do is help her through some rough patches that are coming her way.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: My ex boyfriend was cheating on me, so I kind of exposed the truth about him cheating on me to all my friends and now hes really mad at me. I feel bad that I dumped him and exposed his "secret" because the truth is, i still like him. But don't you think i have the right to be mad at him? Because he cheated on me, lied to me, called other girls behind my back, and blew me off in the hall last friday....

I'm so confused. Should I call him?

Your ex boyfriend cheated on you, and you're feeling the guilt? You know that isn't right. You got treated wrong, so you dumped him, that part you may just be sad feelings, because its over and you didn't really have a choice. I think hes looking for a reason to make you feel guilty, don't feel guilty because you told your friends what happened. Hes trying to guilt-trip you, hes not really mad at what you did, he wants a reason to make this somehow your fault too, and you're helping him win the battle by feeling guilty of it. I know that you still want him back, but don't take him back. There are some guys who can get second chances, but this one is trying to act like you've done something wrong too, which you havn't. Your ex does not deserve a second chance, as hard as that is to hear, or take, I'm sorry. Don't call him when you know hes been calling other girls, you won't feel any better calling him, you'd better shut yourself out of his life before you're pulled back in.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: I'm 13 female and i haven't kissed anyone yet...is this normal? Most of my friends have kissed someone but i want to wait until i find someone special. Most girls though have their first kiss when they are 12...am I abnormal? Or just plain 'ol me?

Definetly not abnormal. Just because your friends, or anyone has kissed a guy when they were 12, that doesn't mean that they've found the right person. Some girls do it just to experiance it, which isn't the best way to experiance a kiss. You should never rush a kiss with guys. If it happens, then the kiss will feel more normal instead of a big plan. So, never try to make a kiss happen. Just live your life, 13 is a super young age to be kissing anyway. So, you are too far from abnormal to be worrying about it.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: so i have a low confindence level.its like am afraid of popular kids in my school and i kind of want to be one .but i dont think i belong with tem .i like to watch them and know wats going on in their lives.what is wrong here.

You're just a curious person in the world. At one point in your life, you'll always want to be that pretty popular girl in school, or her best friend. Theres really nothing wrong with being popular, but if you notice in schools, popular means having everyone love you and doing drugs, having sex, doing everything a bad kid does. Thats a popularity group you don't want to get yourself into. Popular basically means, having a lot of friends. The best thing that you can do is to not ever try to change anything about you to fit in. It won't ever be worth it. If people can't accept you because of something about you, then why kiss their butts? You just don't want to. But, the always looking at them, watching their every move is a big part of your curiousity. You want to know what it is that they've got that you don't. You want to see how they act to be liked by the whole school. Everyone experiences these feelings, but if you let them take over, then you'll just live your life the hard way.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: ok well school atarted back up on monday, and my boyfriend from last year goes there, and we never really broke up! so he started small talk and i'd talk to him back, I just feel kinda weird around him now! and he started ignoring me today and yesterday, and I tried to talk to him but he keeps no walking, and i smiled at him and he just looked away! i I really really like him, and I know he likes me to! so please please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You need to ask him if hes still your boyfriend, or if things are still going on with you guys. It sounds like it died down over the summer. If you really still want to be with him, you've got to ask him whats going on, so that you won't experience anymore akward feelings with him, you need answers, and you'll just keep your mind wandering if you follow him around like that. It sounds like he may have lost interest, and if it turns out that he has, then you'll be ok with a fresh start, and make your you have a boyfriend that you contact over the summer and out of school, because this happens a lot when you don't talk to someone for months. They start losing interest.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: what are some things to do by yourself on summer
hi i am 13 years old and it seems like i never go anywhere with my friends i guess its because they are to young there like 12 but i have a 15 year old sister and she goes like every where with her friends i was wondering if i am just going to stay like this with my friends never going anywhere without there parents

I'm not really understanding what you're asking, could you rephrase?

Q: im 14 and going into the 10th grade and ive never kissed a guy. and all my friends all have lost it. and i feel like im being left behind. and when my friends talk bout it they ask me hats the most uve done w/ a guy and i cant say anything cuz i havent even kissed 1! what should i do?

You need to not worry about these things at the moment. If you friends were real friends, they wouldn't care if you told them that you've never been kissed. Theres nothing wrong with never being kissed at 14. You should be really proud of yourself about it and be happy about yourself. But, you can't let your friends get to you because they've had more experiance with guys. You need to look at this differently. You're 14, and havn't found the right guy to kiss. You don't want a silly reputation with guys and kissing like everyone else. This is your life, your pace, and I'm sure you'd love to kiss a guy right now, and sometime you will. You just need to wait and not worry about your friends' experiances.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: im 13/f and i am a very strong believing catholic. i masterbate once in a while. im wondering if that is a sin. i read in books and stuff that its completley natural but i wanna make sure that its not a catholic sin. please help. i rate high!!

Well, think of things this way. Even if it were to be a catholic sin, everyone has done this. Everyone has sexual urges in their life, and it won't make them a bad person doing it by masterbation. It may seem really wrong to sin, but when it comes to this we can only be human. It is natural, and everyone does it.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: Would it be possible if a 14 yearold boy would like a 12 year old girl? She's sorta developed for her age. Or is it a waste of time?

Friend wanted to know

Yes, it is possible. But you need to not date her if shes twelve. Thats young, and it doesn't matter if shes developed, the way you say that sounds like you're searching for one thing in this girl. And I may be wrong, but you're too old for her. Two years makes a lot of difference when you're twelve and fourteen. Sorry, you need to get away from her.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: my sister wears really slulty outfits, and i dont like it. i find it emberrsing and dont want her wearing that stuff. and everytime i tell her, she gets upset. how do i tell my sister to cover herself with out her getting mad at me.

Do your parents know about the way she dresses? If not, tell them. But you need to sit down with her and say, "I don't want to hurt your feelings, but you really need to start wearing nicer clothes instead of this. I have some jeans/shirts you could borrow, or we could go shopping and I can help you pick out really nice clothes." Offer her things she could wear, I know you may not want to go shopping with her or let her borrow your clothes, but you need to try everything you can do to stop her from wearing clothes that are nasty. It can really make her behave in the way she looks sooner later. And if she ends up still dressing the way she does, then try not to worry of you being embarrassed about it. Pretty much what matters is that you aren't embarrassing yourself by dressing the same way. You can't control her, but you can control yourself in these situations.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: Hey, I'm 14.f and something has been bugging me. So many people have been starting to have sex, and i think its like, pathetic, how can teenagers, want to give blow jobs and hand jobs, i mean hello, its kinda weird for 13-16 year olds to do that at this age in my opinion. Does anybody out there agree with me that this stuff is stupid at this age? There have been so many questions on here about sex and hand jobs and everything and i think it is plain out pathetic! Teens shouldnt be worried about that kind of stuff at this age. Does anyone out there agree with me at all?

Thanks-

Yes! Finally, a post that I can relate to! I am 100% in agreement with you here. Its not weird for kids those age to do that stuff, it is plain out stupid and low. Thinking of this bugs me too, but basically, all you have to think about are your thoughts and standards on the topic of sex, and make sure they aren't like any other teens your age. No, they definetly should not worry about things like sex with they are 13-16. You just disrespect yourself, and your chances of losing your childhood and being a child who goes out a lot increase by having sex. I am fully against teen sex too. I'm sure you've got unpleasant posts from 13 year olds, or older, but the best you can do is ignore them. I am 15, so this just might be your first agreeable answer. And you're only 14! I love seeing posts like this come from young girls like me. This is an awesome statement.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: ;; i REALLY need your help ;;

my sister hates me i think.....

;; whenever i ask her to take me somewhere (she drives) shes like "no"

;; i ask her to cook me somthing (because last time i almost burnt the house down) she says no and i have to wait till about 1 im the morning for food

;; she treats me like crap

;; she always askes "do i look pretty????"

;; she slaps me

;; she called me a whore because i didnt feel well and she didnt also

;; ill get her a soda, the vacume, TRY to cook something, give her money, talk to her, get her something she needs to clean. walk the dog, feed the cat && dog && birds.. im practally the maid for when shes home.

;; she makes me clean the hallway (because i threw my books outta my room).... also HER bathroom and i have to clean her garbage she leavs at my comptuer.

;; i ask her for a simple thing "can you drive me 1 mile away from home so i can get something to eat" she automatically says NO

;; she calls me.. a bitch.. a slut.. a whore.. a faggot.. brat.. spoiled.. discusting.. etc.

;; i wanna be her friend, but i cant ever talk to her barely.

;; i always give her MY money, the money my grandma gave me for my birthday (it was a thousand dollars) she said she would pay back... now i only have about 100 left. she took 900 bucks from me, and i was saving up for a shopping spree.

;; she steals my money also.. she has a credit card, gas card, etc. but she wont use them!

please help me... i htink she hates me, is that a sign of hate? and sorry if this was too long for you

She doesn't hate you, thats just being evil. Shes taking advantage of your doing nice things for her. Its time to stop and do things that will only help yourself for a while. At this point, she doesn't deserve anything you've done for her. Where is your mom? Your dad? An adult? Because if you live with your sister, how can you live like that? Its like starving all of the time and having someone make you feel bad half of the time. And from all of the things you do for her, you don't deserve to be in that kind of situation. You need to get out of this. You can't sit and indentify what your sister thinks of you, and thats the problem, shes not thinking of you. Only herself. Stop doing things for her, don't turn into selfish, but give her a taste of what shes feeding you. Absolutely nothing.

-TheTeenGirl

Q: Me and my friend both have questions:

My question: I just started going out with this guy that I have been with on and off before. We haven't seen each other all summer so we talk on the phone alot. Anyways, I don't know what to talk to him about! We both end up asking the other person what they wanna talk about and saying I don't know. Or we end up talking about "us" or something. Any ideas? I don't wanna seem boring.

My friends question: My dad is racist, and the problem is I like a guy who is partially black. When we're talking on the phone my dad always interrupts me and asks why we are talking. It's really getting on my nerves and I don't think my dad can get over this. What should I do?

Thanks!

Starting with your question, if you've been gone all summer from him, talk about your summer and ask him about his. You don't have to just say, "so how was your summer?" Say something like, "so, tell me the best and worst part of your summer." Talking about your relationship is fun. Just ask him things and start more conversations about summer, school, and love. Anything you can think of, whatever comes to mind.

As for your friend, the best that you can do right now, is respect your dad's wishes. I know being racist isn't respectful to you, but if you continue talking to this guy, then he'll keep fighting you until he wins the battle. I'm not saying don't ever hang out with a different race because your dad said so, I'm saying not to talk on the phone with them, or talking to them where your dad can hear you. I don't think a talk with your dad would help at this point.

-TheTeenGirl

bio

My name is Erin and I am now 18 years old. You may realize through out looking at my column, some of you love me and some of you flat out hate me. There's really no gray area with me I guess you can say.

I haven't given advice here in so long and it's only because I got caught up in life. But I'm more mature than I ever thought I could be.
So anyway I'm here again. It's been a long time, but I still love giving advice and still plan on it in the future.

Everyone should feel free to Private Message me for advice, I can be harsh, but I'm always trying to help someone by giving them the truth they need.

About My Ratings:
I enjoy ratings. And if I ask a question on here, I always rate the person. If you work hard to give advice, you deserve to be rated.