Question Posted Wednesday September 14 2005, 5:32 pm
My best friend who isn't a virgin, and I am 18 and am still a virgin, by choice I feel that I should wait until I am truly in love. Well any ways we got in to a fight to day and she said some ignorant thing, saying that I am a virgin because I can't get none. Which is so not true. I don't know if I should still be friends with her or not. And then we get in to fights because she is with her boy friend all the time, and we never spend any time together except for school. what should I do
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship? erythisis answered Friday September 16 2005, 12:01 am: If she wants to spend time with her boyfriend, let her. You don't need to spend all your time with her. That doesn't mean you should stop being her friend or ignore her, but it'll help soften the pain than being a girlfriend became a little more important - enough to threaten friendship.
Just remember that as long as you keep your cool and be there when she needs a shoulder, she'll always come back to you. Guys come and go for many girls (not that they're being "slutty", but relationships don't get very far or just plain don't work), but girl-friends are near forever - with the love that made you friends in the first place.
As to the fight, yeah it wasn't nice of her, but people tend to get nasty when they're on the defensive and may actually bite when they meant to bark.
Just hang out with other friends and don't let her comments made in anger bother you, as hard as it may be. There's more important things in life. [ erythisis's advice column | Ask erythisis A Question ]
DefinedEyes answered Thursday September 15 2005, 5:34 pm: To be honest..
I understand what you mean..
because your bestfriend shouldnt say stuff like that too you..
but weigh out what you feel..
make a list of her good qualities..
and her bad.. and which overcomes which should help you?
*ashlee* answered Wednesday September 14 2005, 9:11 pm: i know exactly what your talking about. i have an ex best friend who just recently was trying to get some girl to break up with her boyfriend so that she could "hook up with that hot guy who wants to holler at you" when i told the girl not to break up with the guy she loves just because the hot guy wants to have sex with her, my ex friend said "you only say that because youve never had any" that made me mad because its completely not true. what makes her think that even if i had already had sex, that id say "yes liz..break up with your boyfriend and become a whore..sleep with everyone who only wants to use you." you know? just because half the population of girls are skanky or have simply just had sex, doesnt mean i need to go risk stds and heartbreak over someone i dont love because "everyone else does it." little things like that are why me and her arent friends anymore. maybe you should talk to your friend about it and try to save your friendship, if its important enough to you. im always here if you have any other problems. good luck, i hope you can save your friendship better than i could mine. [ *ashlee*'s advice column | Ask *ashlee* A Question ]
GDROB answered Wednesday September 14 2005, 7:43 pm: As for sex it is not the be all and end all of experiences. Anyone who built it up to be so has obviously never had it. Some might find the first go boring, difficult or nowhere near pleasureable. It is not a competition or a race to get to do it first. You are being smart and biding your time and waiting for the right person.
Whether 40 or 18 it does not matter to anyone but you and your convictions for waiting. Anyone who does not like this news (that frankly you should have kept to yourself) tough shit! It is not their body or them making the decision.
As far as this friend goes she sure as hell is not acting like one. Let her have her boyfriend and stay away when she wants to be friends again tell her straight up the garbage you no longer put up with. [ GDROB's advice column | Ask GDROB A Question ]
starminder answered Wednesday September 14 2005, 7:41 pm: i think you should not be friends with some one who treats you like dirt. thats not fair for a suppose to be friend to do. stand up for your self woman. [ starminder's advice column | Ask starminder A Question ]
TheTeenGirl answered Wednesday September 14 2005, 7:21 pm: Your friend sounds really rude, and I wouldn't want to be her friend if she said the things she said to you. You both know that what she said wasn't true, I think that was a really quick and easy defense to pull out on you to upset you, or win the arguement. You both have different views on sex, and she needs to respect your view on it. I know you probably just want your friend to not have sex, and everything, but unfortunatly, we don't have control over others and their choices. If your friend wants to be with her boyfriend a lot, just let her, and the next time you guys talk, you need to tell her that it didn't make you feel so good to be told what she said to you, and it wasn't something a best friend would even think of saying, if she doesn't apologize, and is rude, you should stop hanging out with her. I think she might be mad because you waited and thats a really good reputation to have, and its usually a reputation everyone wants later in their lives.
naimee answered Wednesday September 14 2005, 6:50 pm: First of all, I applaud you for being mature about sex, and you're not just like any other person out there who has sex just for fun! I'm 15, and I know I'm a lot younger then you, but I don't know maybe I can help!
My ex best friend and I used to get into fights all the time, because she'd always be on her boyfriends side & like when he'd make fun of me, she wouldn't yell at him or say anything to him because it really bothered me, which sucked. But, she was like making out with this kid, while she had a boyfriend, and I called her foolish, because it is. & She said, atleast I do stuff with guys! That really pissed me off because I don't do stuff with guys, BUT, she was my best friend, and she should've been on my side with all the choices I made, and she wasn't. She just like totally went against them. I know that we're not exactly in the same situation, but I can relate to you.
It's seriously up to you, whether or not you should continue to be friends with this girl or not. If I were you, I wouldn't - it just seems like a waste, a good friend's supposed to be there to support you & stuff. Not get into fights with you, and go against your personal opinions! =) [ naimee's advice column | Ask naimee A Question ]
Razhie answered Wednesday September 14 2005, 5:44 pm: Things said in anger should never be taken too seriously. The issue with your friend probably has nothing to do with your views on sex, she just hit a nerve by bringing it up.
The real issue is that you feel neglected when she is with her boyfriend, That you need to talk to her about. Read that last sentence agian, I said talk, not argue.
Blaming her will only cause more of these nasty fights, focus on your feelings of neglectment and hurt. If you want a friendship with her, tell her so and tell her what, in your opinion, that friendship should be built on (ie, spending more time togeather, hanging out more, respecting eachother and such) [ Razhie's advice column | Ask Razhie A Question ]
Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content. Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.