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about
I've been away for a while due to a serious illness and subsequent health issues. Favourite quotes of the moment:
The children of Israel wandered the desert for 40 years - Even in biblical times men wouldn't ask for directions!
Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. whatever we do to the thread, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect. - Chief Seattle.
We spend the first 12 months of a child's life teaching them to walk and talk. We spend the next 12 years telling them to sit down and shut up!
As you slide down the bannisters of life, may the splinters never be pointing the wrong way.
May you be in Heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead.
I've been very happily married since August 1980 to a wonderful man and have beautiful twin girls, now aged 31. Both are married to wonderful young men and one of our girls has recently made us grandparents to a beautiful, smart and feisty granddaughter. I studied geology with the Open University. I am retired from being a manager in a large UK based insurance company which I actually quite enjoyed. (How sad is that?). I love anything to do with the environment and wildlife and try to do my bit for preservation and conservation. I would like there to be a decent world for our grandchildren to inherit. I also have CFS so find life a bit of a challenge at times but always hope for better health in the future.
I have a deep interest in the spiritual and the paranormal worlds, having experienced several incidents myself, and have been involved in meditation groups and groups that (safely) explore the paranormal. There is more to this life than we would normally credit, so an open mind is always the best option. You're not so likely to get caught by surprise!
I have a deep fascination for anything to do with Ancient Egypt, as you can probably tell by my name. I have statues and paintings all around the house. As my hubby has a similar interest in Native Americans, we tend to have a lot of unusual wall decorations, like a tomahawk.
I love cars, especially vintage ones, but my all time favourite has to be the Bugatti Chiron, what a car!
I have had a lot to do with animals over the years. I have fostered many, helped to set up a wildlife charitable hospital and raised a diverse range of young animals from bats to fox cubs and different species of birds, even a baby deer! I have had great pleasure in sharing my life and home with a number of animals over the years, most of them rescues. I am currently sponsoring an Amur Tiger, they are such beautiful cats and desperately need help, there are so few of them left. I was lucky enough a couple of years ago to meet some Aye-Aye's and Livingstone's Bats, a truly wonderful experience. We now have three cats, Oliver and Mollie, a brother and sister, he's a ginger and she's a tortoiseshell and a black and white called Daisy. She arrived in a taxi and was left on our doorstep in a cat carrier with the message that 'they knew we loved cats and would be good to her'. She has settled down well and gets on wonderfully with the other two.
If you have a pet that is showing ANY signs of illness or distress, please, please, please take it to a vet! Even if finance is an issue, work that out later. It is cruel to leave an animal suffering for any reason. Most animals do not show signs of illness until they have been ill for some time, basic instinct tells them it is a display of vulnerability, and certain death in the wild. Their instincts have not caught up with domesticity.
I do feel that we should all treat others as we would wish to be treated. Bad karma comes back to haunt us.
advice
I'm 14/f and latly I've been wanting a boyfrined soooooo freaking much, I just want someone to make me laugh, hold me, like me for me, protect me, just a guy to be there for me. It's not like my whole school has a boyfriend or girlfriend there only like err...4 mabye 6 couples that have been dating for a while. Also I'll be attracted to this guy and I can't stop thinking about them then like one day I'm like ew wtf was i thinking liking him. I just don't get why I like a guy one momment and then the next not so much and I want a boyfriend soo bad and it seems like my friends are quite as obsesed as I am with guys and wanting a boyfriend so is this normal? Is there any way I can um.. like try to not have my emotions so strong, not wanting a guy soooo much??
WILL RATE
At your age your hormones are going haywire, emotions are all over the place, things and people you like one day you can hate the next. It is a time for adjustments and finding out exactly what you do/don't like. Don't worry, it's perfectly normal and we've all been through it. At some point (probably quite soon) you will find there is a guy that you really like, he'll like you and you will find you do have a boyfriend.
As we all develop at different times there will be girls that are already in a relationship and there will still be girls not ready when you have found someone.
You can't really do anything to calm down these feelings because they are a part of growing up. Give yourself some time, you'll be fine. Good luck.
my boyfriend proposed to me last week... and i want to say yes ... but something doesnt seem right...
Like there are times when if we dissagree on a subject he will yell and scream ... even if he's completley wrong ...
Hes alaways accusing me of being unfaithful... and I never would do anything like that ...
if i don't want to have sex somehow he always guilts me into it ...
and he's even hit me a few times ...
I just want to know how i can bring these up to him without making him angry ... because i do love him ... im just sligltly bothered by these things ...
Katie
You should be more than bothered by this and you subconsciously know the answer don't you? If he is like this now, he will only get worse if you marry him. He will want to control you completely, wear down your self confidence until you think he is right and you will never be able to escape from him. He will promise to change but men like that do not change. He cannot respect you or he would not treat you this way. I would advise you to get out now and don't look back, if you do, you have had a lucky escape. You have more going for you than getting into a relationship that will take away everything that you are. Find someone who appreciates and loves you for who you are. As for the scholarship, you must be good to get that, if he cares about you at all, he will be happy for you to go, you could judge your long term decision on his reaction to this. Also, at 17 you are just starting out in life, do you really want to tie yourself down at this age and have to make choices for the next few years based on what he would be happy with? I understand all this seems harsh, but I've seen this happen before, and it is always the woman who suffers. You have a lot going for you, embrace it, and get the most out of life, see something of life and the world before you settle down, then you will have a better idea of what YOU want, not want someone else wants for you. Good luck.
Ok, so there's this british exchange program at my school and 16 British people came to my school and are being hosted by students at my highschool. One of my friends is hosting this kid, i'll call him Ryan. The thing is he's so cute and nice and i really want to get to know him but the only thing is that there are always tons of girls around him because they also think he si cute. I know my friends s/n and my question is, should i try to get to know Ryan? Oh ya and by the way, he is leaving on Friday to go back to ENgland but i would really like to get to know him well enough to ask him for his e-mail so we can talk back and forth after he leaves but idk if i want to get to like hima nd know that i can't go out with him because he is 3000 miles away in another country.
There's nothing wrong with exchanging e mail addresses and seeing how things go from there. If you're meant to be together, a long distance friendship will survive until you are able to see each other again, it also gives you both a chance to learn more about each other without the pressure of being face to face. If it doesn't work out or it's not meant to be, the friendship will die a natural death after a while. Either way, you having nothing to lose, so go for it. Good luck.
Okay...so I was on this site and it had like how too's! IT was sooooo weird...they said that you can use an iron (the one you use to iron clothes and smooth out) to straighten your hair. They say u can't use it often (i wouldn't try it) but does it work?
It works but it is REALLY bad for your hair. It will dry it out, cause split ends and could even burn it. You would then have to wait until the damaged hair has grown out. You also run the risk of burning your scalp.
If you want straight hair it is worth paying to get some decent hair straighteners, GHD are good if you're careful, as they are very hot and can burn hair, but they are very effective.
Me and my best friend got drunk about 3 weeks ago. Now my dad absolutely hates her and calls her a druggie and an alcoholic just because she drank once which was with me. My dad is very strict and very controlling and he's not the kind of guy that should be a father. He used to hit me when I was little and I'm deathly scared of him. I told my school guidance counciler(sp) about how me and my best friend did that and how my dad and mom knows and she says that they should be forgiving because I learned never to do something like that again because I didn't like it. So now i dont know what to do. My dad won't even talk to me and when he does he gets in my face and screams at me. even threating to bash my skull in. I told him he makes my life miserable and he said "NO I FKING DONT DONT EVEN GIVE ME THAT" and i said "how can you tell me if you do or dont" and he just said he knows he doesn't even though he makes my life a living hell. I got about two C+'s on my report card and he screamed at me and said "WHY DONT YOU GO STUDY YOU DUMB SH-T!!" my best friend can;t even go on our huge school fieldtrip becayse my dad called the school and told him I wasn't aloud to be with her. I tried talking it over with him and he just screams at me. On top of that, my mom comes home drunk every night and I don't even want to be living here right now. Does anyone have any help for me? I need it fast because I don't know what to do with myself anymore.
It sounds as though your dad is terrified you're going to do the same as your mom and doesn't know what to do about it. He may be over reacting but if he learnt to deal with a problem in this way by his parents for example, he won't know how else to react. He's probably under a lot of pressure with your mom and is desperate for history not to repeat itself. Can you try to talk to him when he's calm, explain quietly that you understand it was a stupid thing to do, you hated it and certainly won't be doing it again. Agree that you will be making every effort to improve your grades but please don't blame your friend as she did not force you to drink and she is really sorry as well.
If possible try to talk to him abut your mum, say that you're worried about her, and ask if there is anything you can do to help.
If all else fails, and you didn't say how old you are, is there a relative you stay with for a while, just to give you both breathing space?
I understand how hard it is to cope with a parent that knocks you around, I had that problem when I was young. However, since I grew up and left home, my dad and I get on really well, I'm not scared of him anymore and I tell him what I think. So, please, don't give up on him entirely, he sounds as though he needs help. At some point you may be able to give it, and he will come to value you more than you could imagine now. Good luck.
is a tomato a fruit or veggie i need to know now !!!!
Tomatoes are fruit, generally, if it has seeds it's a fruit, including nuts.
How bad do nose piercings hurt? What's the procedure/etc....it would help if you have an actual experience. thanks.
My friends eighteen year old daughter had her nose pierced last year and it looks really nice. When I asked her about the pain factor she told me that it did not really hurt but felt a bit uncomfortable briefly. She healed very quickly. Make sure that you choose a reputable person and heed all the advice about cleansing the area. The procedure can be discussed in depth with the person doing the piercing and you do not have to go through with it if you bottle out at the last minute. Basically all that happens is the area around the pierce sight is sterilised, the needle used should come out of a sterilised packet and so should the stud. Good luck.
Well, my husband Diego and I have been married for about one year and one half. I love my husband very much.... but I feel like he isn't doing his part in taking care of the house and stuff. You see we're only 19. But we have been dating since we were 13, so i know him really well, but I think that he could do more to pull his weight around. He never helps with Dinner, he never cleans up, all he does is study for school, which i, on top of everything out, have to do also. Im currently Attending Yale on a ful scholorship, and i can't afford to lose my scholorship, but Diego is making me so stressed out. PLease help
What can i do to get him to pull his weight around the apartment?
-Princess Ava
Have you tried talking to him and explaining that whilst you understand he has a lot on his plate, you do as well?
How about making up a rota so that you both get time off and the chores are still done? If he gets dinner, don't forget to compliment him, even if it's awful, it should get him to do it again.
You are just as entitled to study and have a career as anyone, so let him know how you feel before you start to resent him. Resentment is one of the biggest causes for marital breakdowns, so act now.
Good luck.
I am looking for some advice on what to do about this situation. I am in my mid 20's and have a friend who lives with her boyfriend. She pays about 80 percent of all the bills-and works two jobs to do it. The problem is taht her boyfriend is always putting her down and calling her names. There have been a cople of times where he completely explodes at her for some stupid reason and they get into a huge fight where she ends up crying. This happened the other night and she let it out that he has hit her before. After these kinds of fights I have the usual talk with her and tell her that she needs to get rid of him, that she can do better, and doesn't deserve this treatment. The thing is, the next day she will act like nothing has happened and it's never mentioned again.
The thing is, I really don't know what my place is in all of this. My mom said I should mind my own business and that it must not bother her if she hasn't left in the 3 years they have been together and my brother said I should just leave so I don't end up getting hurt. But this is my best friend and I hate to just sit by and see her put up with this. I can't believe that she can just forgive him for how he acts because I certainly can't and it just makes me seem like a jerk! What should I do?
There's not a lot you can do unfortunately. When someone has been in an abusive relationship for a while, their self esteem and confidence is ground down so much that they end up thinking that the person they're with is right, that they're not worth anything, they are useless and they are lucky that the partner has stayed with them because no one else would have them. Actually it's usually the abusive partner that is insecure, afraid their partner will leave them and would have problems finding someone else to take them. In some weird way though, this makes them hit out more, almost as though they are trying to ignore this fact and proving that despite everything, the partner wants to stay, and validating their insecurities.
All this is very tough on friends and families who have to watch all this go on and knowing they can do nothing to help. The situation will not get better but she won't listen to that, all you can do is to tell her that although you don't understand why such funny, smart, hard working etc, etc (fill in your own compliments) person would want to stay in an abusive relationship, and you find it hard to watch her, you will always be there for her and she can come to you at any time when she wants out. At some point, if he hasn't done it already, he is going to hit her, this could be the moment that she realises she is better than this and need your help.
You are most certainly not a jerk and she is very lucky to have such a good friend. Don't abandon her, but maybe step back a little for your own sake, just let her know the reasons and enforce that you are ALWAYS there for her. Good luck, hope that helps and if you need any more help or support, or just someone to sound off to, I am happy to oblige.
I feel like lately i've lost a lot of friends for the main point that I don't really care for the things they do... I've always felt older than I actualy am and I can't really get along with most people my age... But I have trouble making friends with older people because they don't take me seriously or give me a chance because I look like i'm a 15 year old "hooligan" i suppose ((i'm 18))... Actualy, I have trouble making friends in general. Anyway, It seems like most of my "friends" have abandoned me and that has kinda made me feel a bit down lately, but the few times i've hung out with them, I just don't feel like I belong anymore. I feel left out. Everytime I feel like I actualy belong somewhere or I feel like I fit in with a group of people, it always turns out that I don't... And it's not like I start a fight or anything of that sort... I just never feel like I belong.
Personaly, and not to sound cockey, but I like my personality and the way I am and i'm not the type to change just so I can fit in with a bunch of kids... But a part of my personality is that I like people and I just get down easily when I'm alone.
There's no direct question, Just want some opinions on any of this or advice.
Thanks.
peAce
18/f
It's sounds as though maybe you're maturing internally faster than externally and you and your friends are confused. Your friends can't understand what happened to the person they used to hang out with, even though you may look the same, you're acting differently, so they're not sure how to respond to you anymore. You feel different but maybe don't look it so there are mixed signals all over the place. There is a chance they will catch up but it may be that you do need to find a different group. If you look like a '15 year old hooligan' but don't act like it, could you amend your appearence a bit, so that it is more in line with the way you are now? If you no longer look like a hooligan, you may find older people are more ready to accept you. If you really want to be part of a group again but you are comfortable with the way you are, why not look at some activities that include yours and higher ages? You would then have the chance to make friends with people who share an interest and maybe be a little older and more mature in their outlook. If you like people, why not volunteer to help a charity? This would give you an outlet for this and give you something worthwhile to do at the same time. It also gives you the opportunity to meet up with more possible friends. Good luck.
How do I prove to my girlfriend that I like her more? Everytime I say I do, she says "Prove it." So i'm out to find a way tp prove it.
It seems as though she may have been hurt in the past as she sounds very insecure. If you're doing things like taking notice of her, giving her little presents from time to time and telling her how you feel, you can't be reasonably expected to do more. You can't buy love so don't try. If she doesn't respond with similar things, it seems there is something wrong with the relationship anyway and you need to talk to her about it.
If you are doing all of the above, try asking her what she means by 'prove it'. ie. Is she joking? Is she testing you? Is there something obvious she wants from you and you're not doing? Failing all that, you just need to tell her that if she feels the need for you to prove your feelings all the time, she has to learn to accept that this is not reasonable and to understand that your feelings have not changed even if you are not always telling her. Try to encourage her to have more self confidence, if she wasn't worth being with, you wouldn't be with her etc. Best of luck.
if a guy older than you who you like is pressuring you to have sex or oral sex and you are not going out and are only friends is he only in it for sex? btw im 13 hes 16
Oh dear, apart from the fact that it would be illegal for you to go ahead on this one and he could be in serious trouble, it doesn't sound as though he respects you does it? If he did, he would realise that you are too young and if he
is serious about you, he would be happy to wait. Also, if he is like this now and you did get together, what is he going to be like in other areas? Sounds as though he enjoys getting his own way all the time and having control over someone else. That is no basis for a healthy relationship. So, yes, he is definitely just after sex. There are going to be plenty of guys out there more worthy of you than him, so wait a while.
Hi! I'm trying to find online quizzes that will compare two people as soulmates. Like, you answers questions & they answer them & it tells you how you match up as a couple. So basically I'm asking if anyone knows where to find soulmate quizzes like that. They can be serious or for fun. I don't care. Thanks!
http://uk.tickle.com/us/welcome.html
http://selectsmart.com/FREE/select.php?client=soulmates
http://www.links2love.com/quizzes_love.htm
You could try those.
Hope that helps.
I’ve been having issues with my parents lately. I have a different problem for each of them. I guess this is a two-part question.
In order to fully understand my situation, I think a little background information is required . . .
My parents met one another while they were in highschool. They started dating soon after and eventually my mother ended up pregnant with me at the age of seventeen. It was completely unexpected and unplanned - I was a ‘surprise’, if you will. At the time, my grandmother was a very traditional woman. The idea of premarital children just didn’t sit well with her. She managed to convince my parents that marriage was their only option. They married three months after I was born.
Because my father came from a wealthier family, he graduated from highschool and was able to attend university. My mother, on the other hand, dropped out of highschool four months before her graduation so she could get a full-time job in order to support me and father while he was in school.
It’s not really a surprise that my parents are divorced now, they have been since I was five. But that’s not the issue. I live with my mother and stepfather now and she often talks about how she wishes she hadn’t been so careless when she was younger. She’s always warning me not to ‘throw away’ my youth like she did.
I know she doesn’t mean it, but sometimes I feel as though she resents me. I can’t help but think about how much better her life could have been had she not had me at such a young age. I know this is all in the past, and what’s happened cannot be changed but I would just like to know how I can get past this feeling of “I ruined my mother’s life”. I'd like to be able to stop feeling like a mistake.
Any and all advice is welcome =]
And that’s just my mother. . .
Now for part two - my father.
Like I mentioned before, my parents got married and then divorced at a fairly young age. I live with my mother so I only see my father once a month, if that. I wouldn’t exactly say we’re close . . .
Anyways, a few days ago, my mother told me a story about my father that really disturbed me. She told me that three days before their wedding, at his bachelor party, my dad had cheated on her. And even though she knew about it, she still married him. I was completely shocked when I heard this. I can’t help but be angry at my father. He doesn’t know that I know about this yet, but I would really like to confront him about it. I’ve talked to my mom about it and she doesn’t want me to say anything to him. She suggested that I just let it go. However I know that I won’t be able to do that. To me, this isn’t something I can just forget about. I would like some sort explanation from my father, even though I know he wont have one for me.
I’m supposed to have dinner at his house Monday night and I plan on confronting him then. My only problem is that I don’t know how I should go about this.
Any suggestions or any advice whatsoever would be greatly appreciated =]
Sorry this is so long =/
Part 1
I don't think your mother is resenting you, she is probably frustrated at her lot in life and doesn't want you to make the same mistakes as her. She wants you to have the life and opportunities she never had, and by warning you like this, she is doing her best to give you every chance of learning from her mistakes. If she hadn't fallen for you, they may not even have got married, but it was their choice, even if it was under pressure, and nothing for you to feel bad about. She only has the experience of things going very wrong so has to base her reactions on this. We all do it, if you're unhappy with the way she is dealing with your growing maturity, talk to her, otherwise she won't know and will keep on doing it.
Part 2
It sounds as though your mother is projecting onto you her hurt and anger about what your father did as a young adult. Telling you may have been either another way of warning you of what could happen, or a way of trying to relieve the pain by passing it on. Either way, it is nothing to do with you, so don't take responsibility for it, don't make things difficult for you and your father by raking up the past. He probably felt really bad about it at the time (and may still)and would like it to stay in the past. It could also affect any joint decisions they have to make about you in the future. Think on to your wedding, do you really want warring parents there?
Accept your parents for what they are, flawed people like the rest of us, who are trying to do their best for you with the experiences they have had to guide them.
Good luck.
My two best friends, have started shop lifting and the other week stole £50 in value each I want them to stop because I don't want them to get caught.
I want to go shopping with them but if they're stealing and they'll get caught I will get in trouble to.
I think they're peer pressuing me to they all telling me to join in and its fun but I really dont want to.........
How can I get them to stop?????
Please help I rate high!!!!!!!
You're really not going to be able to stop them, it has to be their decision. Just don't go shopping with them, even if you don't join in (which I agree you shouldn't) chances are that you will be the one to get caught. If they are true friends, they would not be pressurising you to do something that they know is illegal and you are so obviously unhappy with. It sounds as though they are testing you. If they are and that is what they base their idea of friendship on, you really would be better off finding new friends and waiting for them to mature. Stick to your morals, good luck.
ok here's the deal.......me and my boyfriend have bin going out for 5 months now and it would have bin 6 if we hadn't we hadnt bin waiting to make sure thats what we wanted and going out with the same guy for that long is a recorde for me lol anyways i know i'm totally and completly in love.....my question is......am i stupid to think this guy is the one......some people say i am because i'm only seventeen but my mom described to me when she met my dad she just knew and thats how i feel like i just know he's the guy i want to spend the rest of my life with......what do you think?
thanks in advance
He could well be 'the one'. Only you can decide. You did wait to go out with him and still wanted to. Give it some more time if you're not sure. I met my husband when I was 19 and we've now been married for nearly 26 years, I fell for him the moment I saw him and have never changed my mind, so it can work. Go with how you feel and see how things turn out, just don't rush into anything, you're still young. Hope that helps.
Anyone know any sad love songs to cry ur eyes out to? thank you. ♥
Everybody Hurts - REM
Unbreakable - Westlife
I Don't Want to Miss a Thing - Aerosmith
Unchained Melody - Righteous Brothers
One of Us - Abba
Aways - Bon Jovi
Sacrifice - Elton John
All By Myself - Eric Carmen
Hero - Enrique Inglesias
With or Without You - U2
Eternity - Robbie Williams
Miss You Nights - Cliff Richard - Westlife
Hope that helps.
17/F
I'm really scared about what my parents are making me do. Last year I was sent to a hospital for manic depression and compusive behavior. I was released two weeks into school. Thank god I had my bf or I would have gone crazy. U see hospitals scare me everytime I go into one someone dies(someone close to me). So when I over heard my parents talking about taking me to a different hospital last week I freaked out. I've stared cutting again and I cry myself to sleep at night. If I didn't have my bf I wouldn't even go to school cause my grades suck.
Someone help me I don't want to go back
I'm scared
Ps
I rate high
You poor thing, you must be in state. Can you talk calmly to your parents about this, and explain how you feel? Maybe if you do need some help, they could find a therapist without sending you to a hospital? You've obviously had a terrible time and they must be worried about you. It's lucky you have such a supportive boyfriend. Could he be with you if you talk to your parents? If he puts his feelings to them as well it may help. It is possible to get external therapy for compulsive behaviour and and most types of depression. You do need to act now before it gets out of control again. If they realise that you are prepared to do something about this, they may give you some control over your problems and listen to what you would like. Best of luck, let me know how it goes?
what's the best way to invest money? Mutual funds, real estate, something else?
It depends to a degree how much money you have to invest. You could try an Independant Financial Advisor (IFA), they should be up to date on all investment statistics and not being affiliated with any one organisation, can give unbiased advice. They will probably charge for their advice so shop around.
If you decide to invest in real estate, don't forget that you will have to factor in upkeep to your calculations, this can cost quite a bit over a few years.
Stocks, shares mutual funds etc depend on the current economical climate so you could lose money. Good luck.
Does anyone know..or think they know..if mixing baking soda, water, and hydrogen peroxide then brushing my teeth is dangerous? I need somewhat whiter teeth by 2morrow and i thought that if i use a whitening gel tonight..then brush my teeth with that mixture 2morrow..my teeth will be whiter...and what about just baking soda and hydrogen peroxide without water...would that be harmful? Thanks in Advance!
Hydrogen peroxide, does bleach but it also eats away at things as it is a corrosive substance, if you were to accidently swallow some it could harm you inside. This is a possibility even if you don't think you have swallowed it, as it will still be in your mouth. It is also more than likely going to eat the enamel on your teeth, this would make you more open to sensitive teeth and plaque. Try the baking soda and forget the peroxide. White teeth are not worth a trip to the hospital or dentist to try to put right the damage you've damage you've caused.