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I want to marry him ...but...
my boyfriend proposed to me last week... and i want to say yes ... but something doesnt seem right...
Like there are times when if we dissagree on a subject he will yell and scream ... even if he's completley wrong ...
Hes alaways accusing me of being unfaithful... and I never would do anything like that ...
if i don't want to have sex somehow he always guilts me into it ...
and he's even hit me a few times ...
I just want to know how i can bring these up to him without making him angry ... because i do love him ... im just sligltly bothered by these things ...
Katie
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You are 17!! dont throw your life away you have colledge to go to! i would certainly say No..i no this sounds crazy to you but he doesnt treat you right at all he pressures you into sex he hits you thats abuse and later in life you will have huge problems with this guy, he is making you feel bad about yourself so you can do whatever he wants like your his slave and i no you love him and it hurts but i would seriously find another guy..who nows im not saying this will happen but if you were to get pregnant and married and you decide you dont like him becasue he hits you then its gonna hard to divorce with all the money problems you will have plus you really should go to school..im sure your a beautiful, smart, sweet, caring girl who definalty doesnt deserve this. you are only 17 dont follow what he wants for you because you think you love him and you may..but do what you want. acheive your life dreams and goals its all right in front of you all you have to do is walk away from the one whos making it all worse..i no that this is difficult but i strongly reccomend that!!
please listen to this advice for you!
love Tawny
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Ok, if he hits you I certainly don't recomend it. It sounds like he has tempermental issues. If your only 17, I really don't recomend it. You have so many more people to meet. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with a guy you dated when you were *17*? That is supposed to be bold. If he guilts you into it, don't marry him! I strongly don't recomend it. Just tell him, don't sweet him all up and stuff just say,"Ok, (name) I really do love you, but I want to go off to school first, and who knows who I'll meet there? I don't think your the one." And walk off, that way he won't have time to get angry.
*~*~*~*Don't be shy~*~*~*~
-shygirl66
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You should be more than bothered by this and you subconsciously know the answer don't you? If he is like this now, he will only get worse if you marry him. He will want to control you completely, wear down your self confidence until you think he is right and you will never be able to escape from him. He will promise to change but men like that do not change. He cannot respect you or he would not treat you this way. I would advise you to get out now and don't look back, if you do, you have had a lucky escape. You have more going for you than getting into a relationship that will take away everything that you are. Find someone who appreciates and loves you for who you are. As for the scholarship, you must be good to get that, if he cares about you at all, he will be happy for you to go, you could judge your long term decision on his reaction to this. Also, at 17 you are just starting out in life, do you really want to tie yourself down at this age and have to make choices for the next few years based on what he would be happy with? I understand all this seems harsh, but I've seen this happen before, and it is always the woman who suffers. You have a lot going for you, embrace it, and get the most out of life, see something of life and the world before you settle down, then you will have a better idea of what YOU want, not want someone else wants for you. Good luck.
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hey!! well i agree with what everyone else said, so i am not going to repeat it. however, i will add that i don't think you truly love this guy. if you loved him, there would be absolutely no doubt in your mind that this is the guy you want to marry and be with for the rest of your life, no matter what. if you are having any doubts, then this is not what you want to do! listen to your gut feeling!
you are soo young, you have so much more to experience... let me tell you, college changed everything. you need to put yourself and your feelings first, before his, and do what is right for you. don't stay with him and accept to marry him just because you don't want to hurt him. in this case, it's ok to be selfish! talk to him, tell him this is a big step that you are not ready for. if he is ok with it and is understanding, then you guys can stay together and see how things go. if he is not, then it's time to move on and find a man who will meet all your needs! good luck! :)
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Hi
You are only slightly bothered by these things???? Oh honey...you need to walk away.
Seriously you sound like a great girl...who has a chance to set your life on an extroidinary path (going to school). Why would you want to give that up to someone who is abusive to you.
He sounds exactly like my ex-boyfriend...and TRUST ME, it does not get better. You are young and you have a whole lifetime ahead of you...experience life. It's a known fact that people who keep accusing their partners of being unfaithful, are usually the guilty party. The fact that he guilts you into sex is borderline rape...and he hits you!!
Girl, I am telling you that you deserve WAY WAY better than that. Please do not marry him...especially at your age. Good luck.
Brenda
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Well, this isnt too good...
First, a real man should be able to listen to a woman when HE asks her to marry HIM. But, If you really want to work it out, you could talk to him. Make sure its in a public place, but where you can talk privately. Like a coffee shop, for instance. All unless you dont feel threatened of being hit by this guy. Which brings me to my second point...
Is a guy that hits you and yells at you worth it? And by the way hun... youre seventeen. You got like practically youre whole life ahead of you. And I dont want a perfectly sweet person like you to waste part of your life if this guy isnt worth it. This is just MY advice and please please dont take it personally. But im tryin to help you get the facts straight here. Hope I helped.
Ace
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You're just 'slightly bothered' when you get hit by your abusive boyfriend? He isn't worth it, please reconsider.
You'll have to live with that stuff the rest of your life! And if he is doing it now, he'll most assuredly be doing it later on, may even in larger amounts than now.
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The very fact that you have to ask us "how to bring it up without making him mad", isn't a good sign I'm afraid.
You should be able to talk to the guy without being worried about it. And if he has hit you before, he more than likely will do it again.
Your intuition is telling you no. Listen to it. :)
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you deserve a much better man than that. MUCH better. he has no right to hit you. if he hits you now, he will hit you later and in front of your children. even if he apologizes, don't marry him. you can move on. you are worth so much more.
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well, if he hits you and makes you do stuff you deff. should reconsider. like seriously, if he's like that then he will probably be an abusive husband. you should talk to someone close to you or talk to him about it calmly, if he gets upset then ignore him for awhile, defend yourself, and fight back. possibly take a few weeks off and see if you miss him and truely care about him. well if that didnt help, im sorry, if you need anything else feel free to ask.
-Mel.
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