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"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn

I came to this site for advice about a man and love. That very question turned my entire world around and I have had my eyes opened to things I never noticed before.

I've stayed here so that I can share the knowledge I do have. I know I'm not changing the world but I do hope that I spark others to open their eyes.

"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde

So, if you learn something from what I say then repeat it to someone else who can use it.

I hope that if you see an answer of mine that you enjoy it will inspire you to go out of your way to give good, solid information. Provide links for further information, detail your responses, encourage people to seek out professionals when it's needed, and stop sugar-coating responses and just say the truth.

I hope that even if you absolutely hate my answer that it'll kick start your brain. Hopefully you'll begin taking your time to respond instead of hurried answers that are useless to an already confused person.

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
Gender: Female
Location: WV / KY / ND
Occupation: Technical Account Management
Age: 24
Member Since: October 12, 2007
Answers: 1511
Last Update: August 15, 2011
Visitors: 144183

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okay so i've hooked up with this kid tyler twice. we have mutual friends so we've hung out before, but not too much. i'm very attracted to him so how do i talk to him more without seeming clingy/ without seeming like it's because we hooked up? i feel like after we hook up i have this sudden urge to talk to him more, but i don't want it to seem weird. thanks! _(link)

You need to realize something major:

One night stands do not mean a relationship has formed.

The boy took what he could from you. He got what he wanted (sex) and he's fine and dandy with that sort of "relationship". There wasn't EVER anything more to it or he would have made a move into asking you to be his girlfriend. You feel attracted to talking to him more because you're female and you have the desire to stay with your mate. You had sex with someone so that desire is strong to keep after him.

The truth is, when you engage in a friends with benefits "relationship" you never do learn how to communicate effectively for a true relationship. This is why a lot of men and women who use to be in that sort of "relationship" always end up in the same place, without a personal attachment to their sexual partner.

A person that engages in those types of relationships tends to already have low self esteem and a low self concept of themselves. They are seeking what they feel is the only "love" they are able to get because they are just so unworthy of other types of care. These relationships tend to bring the person down further, to where they will circle the same path over and over in life. They tend to be the ones that never marry, or do not marry until very, very late in life because it takes them that long to figure out how to un-do the bad things they had taught themselves in poor relationships before.

Being friends with benefits has the drawback that one side usually ends up developing feelings for the other side. Typically the female of this sort of situation ends up doing this. Young guys, who tend to be driven by their hormones, key in on this and take it for what it's worth--just the sex. The young men tend to lead the women through an ordeal of issues, having her believe that some day she'll magically be "the one" he was looking for. In reality, he doesn't want the girl or he would seek her out as a life-long partner.

You see, if you are only having sex then the other person simply does not see you as boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/partner type for them. To them, you are lower than the boyfriend/girlfriend they have or may have had (or will have). A lot of people tend to be sucked in by this, hanging on for that one day the person says, "You know, I kept saying that I just needed some more time before hopping in a real relationship, well...it's time for us..." That simply does not happen. Ever. If it does, it burns out very, very quickly because the entire basis of it is sexual.

Yes, this relationship is hurting you as a person. Being young, you probably won't see the reality of what has happened to yourself until you're years down the road. I know I didn't see what was going on when I was having sex with someone that I knew wasn't right.

Step back from this guy and leave him alone. You are what they call a "booty-call" and he's going to be friendly to you only because he may later want more sex from you. He doesn't view you as a good friend, really, and he has no desire to contact you further. It happens. This entire thing is unhealthy--step away while you can.

If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)

It seems like everyone around me is getting pregnant. A lot of my relatives and friends are having kids, getting ready for motherhood. Even some are getting ready for their wedding in the upcoming months. I feel not only left out, but I have always wanted a child for months. Not because everyone else is, but because of the dream of being a mother. My fiance and I have been trying for a few months, and just yesterday I found out a very close friend of mine is pregnant. I cried for hours because we had plans to go through it together. Now I am by myself as everyone is preparing for weddings and having a family.

Could someone offer me some advice or encouragement about what I should do? I feel so down but yet I still want to keep trying. _(link)

A few months is absolutely nothing is the getting-pregnant world. It takes many people up to a year to get pregnant!

Make sure you're leading a healthy lifestyle first and foremost. Many times the female's body is not healthy enough to carry a child to full term or the male's body is producing plenty of UNhealthy sperm that cannot survive the travel to fertilize the egg.

You and your partner need to be taking vitamins every single day. You should be on a prenatal for at least 6 months before you conceive and your partner needs to be on multivitamins specifically for men to help keep his prostate working properly. I am taking a liking to Maxi Health Maxi One Prenatal:

http://www.vitacost.com/Maxi-Health-Maxi-One-Prenatal

My husband is really, really fond of Prescriptive Formula Optimal Men's Vitamin Pack by Nature's Bounty:

http://www.amazon.com/Prescriptive-Formula-Optimal-Mens-Vitamin/dp/B000KPTTVG

Stop smoking, drinking, and using recreational drugs. All of these listed have been proven to cause inferlity short and long term. The sooner you stop, the better chances you will have now and later.

Change your eating habits. Stop eating so much junk food and candies and start eating more vegetables. The better nutrition you receieve, the better your body will absorb it. Dump out the junk (and, no, don't try artifical sweeteners because they've shown to produce infertility as well)--the sodas, candies, cakes, etc. You don't have to do anything so strict that you cannot have a little snack here and there but you need to be aware of what you're putting into your body every day.

Stop consuming things with artificial sweeteners in them. In the long run, it's better to drink a can of coke than it is diet coke. The artificial sweeteners in many products cause so many health problems it's ridiculous.

Exercise regularly. You don't have to go out to the gym or lift weights but you and your husband both need to give your muscles a work out at least 3 times a week. Go for a short walk together or do a workout video together that you both are able to do. It's vital that you both work on this.

Make sure to de-stress often, at least once a week. Make time to just relax. Watch your favorite movie together or just have a night out bowling. Whatever it is that you need to do to relax--do it! Stop worrying about getting pregnant or others getting pregnant--it only adds to the problem! Know that when it's time then you two will have a baby. Relax about the situation and try to get your mind away from the focus of it.

Track your cycles. From the day you begin your period you need to keep track on a calendar of what is going on. Mark your first day down as "Start" and 'x' the following days that you are bleeding. After 6 months of this you should get a decent idea of when you might be ovulating. Ovulation, typically, occurs about halfway through your regular menstrual cycle or on day 14 for most women. During ovulation you will have more chances of concieving because of the conditions within your body.

If you cannot track your cycles because they are SO irregular (more than 32 days long, typically) then I hope you have a little cash saved up! Start buying some things at your local Wal-Mart or other store:

OTC Daily Ovulation Predictors
OTC Fertility Tests
OTC Pregnancy Tests

Begin with the fertilty tests so that you know you are able to get pregnant. Use these for at least 6 months so you get a strong idea of the results. Use the daily ovulation tests every day for at least 6 months so that you can grasp a better idea of when/if you are ovulating.

Throw away:

Your artificial lubrication.

Artificial sex lube hinders the sperm's ability to be mobile and may make them unhealthy. Try to drink more fluids (WATER!) so that your vagina can maintain good lubrication when needed.

Have sex every 3 days at the most. Having sex more often than that can cause sperm counts to go low, dehydrate the body, and dwindle away nutrients.

Ask your partner to NOT wear tight pants. Tight clothing causes circulation problems in the testes and may make things too warm for sperm to develop properly. Let him around around the house in his boxers (or nude)! If you have to go shopping for looser pants and underwear then do it! It's healthier for him in the long run!

Pick up a iodine supplment for you and your husband to take regularly. New research is finding that many Americans are depleted of idoine and are experiencing common problems because of it--diabetes, low metabolism, headaches, fatigue, and temporary infertility! Head down to your local vitamin shop and look around for some kelp for iodine supplementation (along with your prenatals and your partner multi)! Look for, preferably, Norwegian sea kelp or Bladderwrack. Consume 1,500 to 2,000 Milligrams of this supplement each day. My favorite one, so far, has been Nature's Herbs Norwegian Kelp:

http://www.vitacost.com/Natures-Herbs-Norwegian-Kelp

Relax. It really hasn't been that long of a time. Many couples find that when they stop worrying about becoming pregnant and start leading healthy lives together, happy to just be together, they become pregnant. Getting pregnant sounds easy but it's a very complicated thing. Your uterine conditions have to be a certain way to produce offspring. Toxins built up in your body can prevent you from becoming pregnant. Having a stressful job may cause you to miscarriage before you even know you're pregnant! It's possible that you've been pregnant a dozen times already and have never made it past a couple of weeks!

So, most importantly than anything, don't panic. It'll come when your body can handle it. If you've been trying for a year or more then see your doctor just for a routine check-up, making sure things are OK.

It'll all happen in time. I wish you the best of luck. Please feel free to inbox me more directly if you have any further questions, as I have a LOAD of useful information when trying to get pregnant!

P.S. Don't listen to people who say that it's been too long to have not gotten pregnant. Some people get pregnant very easily, very luckily while most of us take a little time, especially if we haven't treated ourselves very well all of our lives. There are tons of couples who get pregnant after two years even!

How can I get a bigger butt? Can anyone send me the ebook for howtogetabiggerbutt? _(link)

There are many ways to get a bigger, more fuller, butt. The main key is to exercise and to keep your weight at an ideal proportion! You must have muscle tissue under the layer of fat on your buttocks to achieve a nice, round result. (Just fat = flabby. Just muscle ~= small-ish)

The "step" exercise is usually the best way to do it. If you have some steps at home then to make sure to exercise on them a few times a day. It's suggested to do 40 one-steps per each leg. Simply placed your right foot on the step and pull yourself up, putting your left foot beside the right on the step. Then step back down with your left foot first. Repeat. Running also helps to create that muscle tissue in the buttocks!

There are also supplements you can try but it's strongly advised to wait until you're, at the VERY least, 18 years old to begin them (they can cause you some hormonal imblanaces if you're still maturing). These would include things like maca root (Maca Magic brand), evening primrose oil (Royal Brittany brand), fish oil, boron, and pueraria mirifica. Take each as directed and not all at the same time. If you're suspected to be pregnant, do NOT take them! These supplments will also make hormonal birth control pills not work so do NOT engage in sexual intercourse if you decide to take the above.

There are lots of supplments for enlarging your butt. For the most part, these are extremely expensive and it's dangerous to take them if it's not from a reputable distributor. I know some brands like DimeCurves, BBB, and Femimore.

I suggest purchasing some underwear that specficially enhances the look and shape of your butt. It's better than investing hundreds of dollars in a product that may cause hormonal dysfunction. It may also be benficial for you to wear a tummy-tucker garment as well under your clothing, as they've been proven to help reduce belly fat after extended wear. If your waist is smaller than your hips then it will appear that your butt has gotten larger :)

Genetic structure is going to play the major part in where you gain muscle and fat easily. If you're an apple shape then you're simply never going to have a large, round bottom without surgery done. Your body structure just doesn't allow that fat and muscle to build there like you'd wish. I've spent hours, if not days or weeks, searching for good ways to enhance the buttocks region on myself. It comes down to eating right, exercising, and keeping at a good weight. You might not have a huge butt but you'll have the right size for your shape in the end.

The ebook says pretty much the same thing. Seriously.

If you were to purchase those expensive pills they would come with an instruction pamphlet on how to exercise each day. The exercises are really the key. Getting your leg up high enough over and over and over helps. A lot of the pills just make you gain water weight in the area, which will decrease overtime and leave ugly stretch-marks.

If you have any more questions do feel free to inbox me directly! :)

I Feel Moving Like Kicking In My Stomach And Feel Pregnant But My Tubes Are Tide And I Have Had Two Negative Pregnancy Tests?

Can humans have parasites? _(link)

Humans can very well have parasites that can affect almost every aspect of life and our health. Parasites may cause you problems in digestion and may make it difficult for you to gain or lose weight properly. Parasites will also deplete the body of vital nutrients!

It's also a good possiblity it is gas, as many people can feel it moving around down there as it tries to work it's way down to escape.

See your doctor, plain and simple. Describe your symtoms. If it's a parasite, it needs to die immediately. They can prescribe medications to help you rid yourself of it.

If it's gas then they may be able to make some good suggestions on how to avoid so much gas or how to get rid of it quickly.

Lastly, many women still become pregnant even though they had a tubal ligation. It isn't too common for the first 10 or so years but it can happen. Have your doctor run a pregnancy test (with a small blood sample) to ensure you're not--doctor's tests are MUCH more accurate than at home pregnancy tests.

Wish you well and if you have any further questions please feel free to ask me in my inbox! :)

i feel so tired all the time at the moment, it started just after i smoked this weed (iv stopped it now because of this kus this is anoying me) the day after i had the mongged out feeling then the next day i had it still then the day after it went a bit but now im left with this out of reality kind of feeling. i found this answer

http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/ate/womenshealth/206935.html

but i dont know, the part in the answer that says "the simple stresses and strains of life in the 21st century!" could be it, i recently started seeing some one who im beggining to think i have nothing in common with so am startin to wonder if/when/how to break it off but this started before i met her. iv been out drinkin 3 times this week and i dont drink at all, the first time i got drunk as i did th second time but the 3rd time i drunk loads and didnt feel much at all. so iv stopped drinking for now to try and get my head straight. my brother has diabetes and feels tired as a result of low blood sugar and all. But he has Downsyndrome and it brings a whole host of possible medical problems so im wondering if i have it too maybe.

has any one else felt this way? just constantly groggy and not quite all there? i excercise like nuts (skating and snowboarding mostly everyday unlss it rains) i eat fine an all its just getting to me now that i cant seem to come back to how i was a week and a bit ago. its pissing me off now.

another thing is that i work early morning's i get up at 5am and walk around a shop for close to 7+ hours which is tiring enough but i normally dont feel it as bad. but iv also just started doing it for about 3 to 5 days a week which is a big jump from just the weekends i used to do.

please help _(link)

I would have probably said, "Stress can do amazingly bad things to your body!" but you specifically state that the extreme tiredness came after smoking weed.

Weed is found to do some nasty things to your body. New research is finding that weed may even alter the DNA structure within the reproductive organs of females. It's been found to alter brain chemistry and lead to depressed state. Long-term usage can leave some frightening problems as well.

New studies are being done on various things we once thought to be fairly safe to some extent. They are finding new things about tobacco use even that is downright frightening--and for YEARS we promoted such things! Just because somebody says, "Weed never killed anybody!" doesn't make it true. Please, keep that in mind. It is a serious thing. It has killed people. There are things we still don't know about it and things we're just finding out about it.

Side effects of weed intake includes exhaustion. Side effects of alcohol includes exhaustion. I'm not sure why you decided to turn to alcohol while already being run-down feeling but it was a very poor decision. Please take note of that.

Smoking weed decreases many things in your body, including your vital supply of blood oxygen and your vitamins and nutrients. It can take months to increase your blood oxygen level back to normal, especially if you had long-term usage of the drug before discontinuing. Some older people never regain that sort of health again.

Alcohol also screws with your blood oxygen level. Adding alcohol to an already oxygen-deprived body is serious damage.

Just for future information, if you drink alcohol to the point in which you are considered to be "drunk" then you've had way too much alcohol. Drinking in moderation means never actually being drunken as well as only having a certain amount of alcohol at the maximum (this depends on a few factors such as gender). When you reach the "drunken" state then you're certain to have done damage to the body. It isn't good for anyone.

It's highly doubtful that you have down syndrome. Down syndrom is not something you catch or develop over time. A person is born with down syndrome. When parents find out that a child of theirs has this illness they, typically, evaluate the other children in the family--looking for key signs and symptoms of the diesease. If you did OK in school and your parents never mentioned you possibly having the disorder then I wouldn't worry about that at all.

If I were you, I would begin to take a vitamin supplement to ensure your body has what it needs to heal from your previous actions. Most people need a vitamin supplement anyway, but especially so if they are under stress or have done harm to their bodies. Your typical food intake is probably lacking a few things anyway, even if you don't know. Head on down to your local pharmacy or large supermarket and look at what they have for sale in the men's multivitamin section. This helps to lessen stress as well.

Begin a serious exercise routine to get your blood oxygen level back up. Increasing the oxygen in your blood can take some time but regular exercise can really help out. Each morning take a nice jog and then do some light stretching before going to bed at night. This regular routine will help keep your body circulating the blood and increase the intake of oxygen. Skating and snowboarding might not be enough for your body--especially if you are not active in doing these every day or have become accustomed to that sort of routine. When jogging, increase your speed and endurance to keep your muscles growing and active. It's like...lifting a 15lb weight can be good exercise but if you never increase that weight or the length of the lifting then it stops being as beneficial as it once was. This will also decrease stress factors in the body if that is the root of the problem.

Stick to a strict sleeping schedule. An adult needs between 7 and 9 hours of sleep each and every single night. Getting the body in routine helps to keep this sleep in the deepest stages, achieving more rest. Try to get in bed by a certain time every night and set the alarm for the proper amount of sleep. When your alarm goes off, get up! Do not oversleep. Sleeping longer than 9 hours has been proven to leave a person in a "groggy" state. Having the right amount of sleep has been proven to reverse the effects of stress.

Take care of yourself! Sure, you're only young once--but why waste that with drugs and alcohol? Why numb the life you're having? Go out and meet people and enjoy things without drugs or alcohol. Create good memories that will last so you can look back in later years and tell everyone about the fun you had and can actually REMEMBER! You'll live longer and have a much more fulfilling life. If you ever plan to have children then you're even doing them a big favor just by staying healthy! You can have a great life without drugs. You're only 18, why ruin things so early, right?

Lastly, if the above doesn't seem to help you improve within 6 months time (yes, you have to build that stuff back up in your body and remain drug-free to see real results) then see a doctor about the problem and be honest with him/her about when it started. They may be able to run tests and find out something more in-depth, especially if your problem is cancerous (weed and alcohol both increase these odds, just for note) or another defect. I'm sure things will improve in time though so be patient too. If things get severely worse then go to the ER and seek help. Being alive is a good thing :)

If you have any further questions please feel free to inbox me more directly! :)

can you contract an STD from giving a blow job?say that you gave someone a blowjob and you swallowed can this make your tonsils flare up and get infected2-3days later or am i just getting the flu? _(link)

If you're not ready to have sex then you're not ready to have oral sex. Oral sex IS sex and you can get just as many STDs from that as you can having vaginal intercourse.

Serious risks include:

1. Herpes is probably the biggest STD risk during oral sex. Both strains of herpes can live in the mouth or the genitals, and particularly during outbreaks (cold sores, herpes lesions) can be passed from one place to the other. More than 50% of a random group of people will have antibodies to the virus (indicating some level of infection). Genital herpes is complicated and uncomfortable. Herpes can be passed on even if no sores are present.

2. Chlamydia and gonorrhea can infect your throat, showing strep like symptoms. These can also infect the eye; eye infections can have serious consequences. Roughly, 80% of women who have chlamydia have no symptoms and it can prevent them from ever having children.

3. HIV can be passed through unprotected oral sex. The infected semen/precum or vaginal fluid must enter the body through a cut or sore in the mouth or esophagus. You may not even be aware you have a cut in your mouth or throat. Some people take up to 10 years to show that they have contracted HIV/AIDS.

4. HPV can be passed during oral sex. HPV has been found on vocal chords. There is no test to find out if a man has HPV and men usually show no symptoms.

5. Syphilis can be passed similar to HIV. Signs and symptoms are indistinguishable from those of other diseases so some people go a long time without knowing they have it. Mothers can pass this onto their babies without knowing it.

6. Hepatitis A is also a risk, but usually only oral-anal contact. Hep A is not a chronic condition like Hep B and C, but can make a person quite sick several weeks.

Someone told me you can get STDs from giving head! Is it true? If it is then what STDs can you get from giving oral / head? _(link)

So like uhm.. 16 days ago I had sex with this guy i talk to It wasn't the first time we had.. but the condom broke after her busted inside of me.. so I took 3 pregnancy tests.. one didn't work.. one said not pregnant and one said yes pregnant What should I do ! ? what is the likely hood that i am ? _(link)

Home pregnancy tests are RARELY ever wrong when they show up positive, to the point that the "false-positives" are practically non-existant. There are so few cases of a home pregnancy test showing up positive but being wrong (although, many of them do show negative during a pregnancy). Reasons for them showing up positive, but the woman NOT being pregnant, would be:

1. A tumor of the placenta with death of the fetus
2. Ovarian cancer (and other types of cancer in some cases)
3. Blood or protein in the urine, which can interfere with the result
4. Use of medications to prevent seizures, drugs to treat Parkinson's syndrome, or phenothiazine drugs, such as chlorpromazine, by the mother

Because home pregnancy tests are manufactured in large quantities and test your urine, which is fairly unstable on a day-to-day basis, they can show false-negatives easily. Many are actually not as sensitive as they'd like you to believe because they are mass-manufactured like they are (which is, most likely, why your first test didn't show anything). Home pregnancy tests for the pregnancy hormone human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG), in your body that distinguishes pregnant woman from non-pregnant women. This hormone can take weeks to be built up into the body and usually cannot be detected before 8 days AFTER conception (when the baby actually imbeds into your urine wall). Usually it can show up two days before your period if you're lucky though.

The reason why you take the home pregnancy test in the morning with your first urine is because the urine has been in the body longer and has more of a chance of containing the hCG hormone if you're early into pregnancy and enough has not accumulated yet to test throughout the day.

Women do not get pregnant the same day of intercourse, believe it or not. After you have sex the girl actually does not instantly become pregnant--it can take days before the sperm find and fertilize the egg and then another 6 - 10 days for the egg to actually attach to her uterine wall. Sperm can live in her body for a long time--they've even been some found alive in a woman 2 weeks after being ejaculated inside of her!

This being said, it could take WEEKS to actually become pregnant after one sexual encounter. Kind of scary, isn't it?

This being said, it could take WEEKS for enough hCG to accumulate within the body to show up on an OTC urine home pregnancy test. This is why false-NEGATIVES are extremely common.

Just because a home pregnancy test says negative (no pregnancy) does not mean it's right. Some show false-negatives so it's BEST if you actually have a doctor run a pregnancy test by taking some blood. Chances you're actually pregnant? My guess would be 99% since the test showed positive. Why the 1% unsure-factor? Because if you have an early-miscarriage (even days within becoming pregnant you can miscarry and not know it) then you may actually have that "false" positive--but you were pregnant, certainly.

Make the appointment with the doctor and have some blood drawn for a test to be certain you're pregnant.

For note, condoms are only about 85% effective on preventing pregnancy and not effective at all on preventing STD transmission. You should probably request a full STD test as well as the pregnancy test.

Hope all goes well and happy motherhood! :) If you have further questions then please feel free to ask me directly!

My 9-month-old doberman puppy past away on thursday, the 28th. He was our first puppy together, my husband and i. Its been so hard dealing with the pain & the loss, he was my beautiful baby boy. The breeder offered to give us another dobe for free but we're not quite ready for another just yet. I cant stop thinking about him, i want to cry every second of the day.

Is there anyone here thats dealt with losing a beloved pet before? How can I make this easier on myself...Anything helpful comments will be appreciated. Thanks. _(link)

It sounds like your puppy was a vauled member of the family and you had a great deal of love for him. When someone loses a loved one they go through the stages of grief and it may be hard to cope, especially if you did not expect to lose the loved one. This case is similar to having lost a family member so treat it as so.

Have a burial service for the puppy if it would help to ease your mind (it isn't crazy to do this, many people do--including me). Talk about how much you loved the puppy and how you hope he is in a better place for dogs. Share your fond memories and help your husband move past this pain as well. Talk about your pain with eachother and console eachother, even if the memory that stirs particular feelings in your partner doesn't stir those for you.

Find out what went wrong and take precautions next time to help you from experiencing this sort of pain again. If the puppy had a birth defect then do not get a dog from the same genetic line and ask the next breeder about their animals' genetic lines. If the puppy passed away from an illness then speak to a vet. about early signs and symptoms of this illness and if it strikes any particular breed. It may help to join some forums dedicated to the doberman breed so that you can learn futher about their genetic history and how particular diseases may affect them (and may you'd like to share your story there or photos to people who will appreciate them and understand your pain):

http://www.dobermantalk.com/forumindex.php

http://www.doberman-chat.com/forums.php

http://www.gentledoberman.com/forum/index.php

http://www.dobermanplace.com/Forum/

Don't rush into getting another pet. Some people, especially breeders I have noticed, feel that the animal's companionship is the most vauled trait. Because of this they may feel that replacing the lost animal with one that has similar traits will solve a major part of the pain. The problem is that animals have different personalities and you bonded with one particular puppy--just like we bond with specific people. Replacing the puppy may help to keep your mind off of the loss but it will not replace your old dog--know that.

Keep your mind active onto other things. Focus on tidying the house up. Do a major scrub-down of the bathroom and kitchen or clean out all of the closets. Go out to a few movies with your husband and treat yourselves to a few nice nights out. Pick up a hobby and focus on it--learning how to or actually knitting a scarf would be appropriate at this time. Start taking a few walks during the day to keep your body active and happy. Remember to take your vitamins and drink plenty of water to keep your immune system function properly (stress of losing someone will really hurt your body). If you simply cannot get the pet out of your mind to focus on ANYTHING else then consider creating memorials of him! :)

If your husband is away often, doesn't feel the same at all, or you want to vent and grieve with others then search the internet for some places to share your loss. There is one particular forum from www.petloss.com that is:

http://www.petlossmessageboard.com/

Where you can post your story and your love for your lost. Here are some other message boards and forums that are directed to pet loss and the grief you experience:

http://www.lightning-strike.com/forum/index.php

http://www.petforums.co.uk/rainbow-bridge/

http://hovforum.ipbhost.com/index.php?showforum=11

In time the pain will dwindle and your fond memories will remain. The pain will subside and you will be able to live normally. For now, be glad you have eachother and share those memories! Help eachother cope and understanding the grieving you each must go through. Be open with your partner and understand you are not alone.

If you have any more questions you can inbox me more directly if you would like. :)

About a week ago my boyfriend and I were talking, and he decided to drop a bomb shell on me. "I'm asexual! There are you happy now!?" All because I asked him why he'd never had any major crushes. I was absolutely not expecting that, but in a weird way, I didn't mind at all. I asked him a few questions and he explained to me that yeah the female body doesn't turn him on but the sensations of sex are fine. But every time I try and get him to listen to me and tell him I actually don't mind at all, he shuts me out. How can I get him to actually listen to me on this subject? _(link)

Explain to him that you're both mature and need to talk about this sort of thing if you both want the relationship to work out. Tell him that it's very important that you two discuss that so that you know if you're really compatiable in the long-run. Explain that the relationship means a lot to you and you both need to be happy to be able to work together.

Then just tell him. Let him know that you thought the whole situation over with him being asexual and let him know that you're very accepting of it and that it doesn't bother you in the least. Explain to him that it was a little surprising, as you've never met someone who was asexual before, but you're glad you have him to talk to about it so that you're completely informed. Apologize for excess questions about it, explaining that you're extremely curious but not belittling about the situation.

A lot of people are asexual and most feel that there is something wrong with them then. It's human nature to be sexually attracted to another humanbeing so it can be a very touchy subject to say, "I'm not!" It's very likely that he has never told anyone about this before!

Let him know to relax around you about it and that you're happy with him the way he is. If, later, he explains that he feels that something is wrong with him then tell him that many people are asexual and that everyone is different. Suggest a few therapy sessions if he insists he is "wrong" and let him know that you're supportive of him in all things.

The key is to bring up maturity in these things. You're both old enough to be in a serious, committed relationship so you both need to be mature about these sorts of things. Let him know that it's IMPORTANT to talk to him about this and that you are completely accepting of it, love him the same, and you're glad you two are growing together (and learning to have open lines of communication with eachother).

Just keep working on it. Let him know it's a serious discussion and that it NEEDS to be had. Do it in a situation where he will feel decently secure and comfortable. It can be a scary thing to let your partner know something like this so hang in there!

I wish you both well and hope that things turn out to be OK (because they're not going to be in the end if he won't talk about it). Please feel free to send me an inbox directly if you have further questions.

do you think getting fingered or giving a handjob is to slutty for a 13 yr old? thanks♥ _(link)

I think you know if it's slutty or not and you really need to reach inside of yourself to discover this.

Obviously, it feels very wrong to be doing this or you wouldn't have been concerned about being perceived as a slut. From here, you should take the time to decide if you want to do the right thing and discontinue these activities or if you want to disregard your gut feelings and pretend it is acceptable behavior.

It is a fact that when people feel slutty/dirty/whorish they reach out to people they feel will accept their actions and tell them that they are not doing anything wrong. The fact that you are questioning this tells a lot and I hope you do understand that. I also want to note that just because someone here claims it is not slutty behavior does not make it alright--YOU know what is really going on. To put it simply, your conscience is screaming at you.

You obviously have been jumping into some things you are not well-prepared for and your conscience knows it. I suggest you take time to look at yourself and where you are now headed in life. It is not healthy or intelligent to rush into sex knowing that your sex-partner is attached to another person. It is not right to help someone betray their partner, of course.

What I'm saying is, the next time some guys says he really likes you or loves you it doesn't mean that sex needs to follow. It doesn't matter if he gives you attention or not because this is the WRONG type of attention you need to be able to blossom into a wonderful human.
Prostitutes have sex every single day with various men/women and never feel any emotion for them so that alone tells you that sex doesn't mean anything.

When you interact sexually with a person without getting to know them at all then it does put a stigma on you. The person will perceive you as sexual and empty. They see that you will make them feel good physically but have nothing else to really offer them. Most, if not all, of these sort of relationships burn out quickly.

So, yes, it is slutty behavior. Yes, you should discontinue sleeping around because it is totally wrong. Yes, you should start listening to your conscience and following what you KNOW is right and not what the media and your peers try to feed you. Yes, if you are questioning your actions then they are, most likely, very wrong and you should discontinue them.

In addition, people do care if you're a slut. I care. I don't want you to become a statistic. I don't want to see you here feeling worse about yourself, falling deeper in the hole. I want to see you grow as a person and KNOW that you are better than these activities.

You'll feel better about yourself when you know you have changed. Work on yourself and don't fall into this dark hole of having sex whenever a guy seems interested and pays attention to you. You are worth something right now, don't make yourself worthless to others. Resolve this with yourself, make sure it never happens again, and learn your lesson from these experiences. With all of those met, you will be able to overcome this and will only carry it as a burden to tell others about your experiences--to help enlighten them on what you had to learn through heartache.

What you have been doing has serious, even dead, consequences. Here are some examples:

Oral sex consequences (wow):

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=544009

Herpes information (yes, you can be born with herpes and it can spread even if there are no sores present):

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=543782

Mutual masturbation consequences (hpv, herpes):

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=495933

Proof that condoms are not 100% effective on preventing STD transmission:

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=537694

You CAN get pregnant while on the pill:

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=539701

STDs are extremely common; 80% of Americans have herpes:

http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm

(Graphic) Photos of what STDs can do to your body:

http://www.healthac.org/images.html

The financial costs of a pregnancy:

http://www.surebaby.com/costs.php

Who cares about virginity anyway? You should!:

http://www.tagnet.org/adventist.fm/youth/virgin.htm

...seriously!:

http://www.prolife.com/LICKONA.htm

ANYONE can have an STD, even if they are a virgin:

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=542086

I hope you do what is clearly appropriate for you and take steps to work on yourself. If you have other questions like this, please feel free to ask me! :)

I took a pregnancy test this morning and it came back negative, I still think I might be pregnant though, that maybe I took the test too soon before a missed period. I am on birth control and I was wondering if I should continue to take it if I think I'm pregnant, or keep taking it to keep from getting pregnant if I'm not? _(link)

There are various "safe" answers come up with for this situation. It is a VERY common question, really. What if you get pregnant and are on birth control pills, right? The pills mess with YOUR hormones, you absolutely cannot believe they wouldn't interfer with a growing baby; although, some doctors say it's OK to continue to pill until certain you are pregnant (and then stop immediately).

This being said, call your doctor for a pregnancy test with a blood sample at his office. You'll get quick results that are more accurate than a HPT and you can stop (or continue) the pills sooner.

Home pregnancy tests usually have results no sooner than 2 days before the actual missed period. Sometimes a HPT will read negative throughout an entire pregnancy though (had a friend with this problem) so it isn't best to rely on them for real answers.

Call your doctor and make an appointment for as soon as they can get you in. Until then, take your pill as scheduled. If you don't want to get pregnant (usual reason for taking the pill in the first place) then really don't want to screw up your period by stopping too early and starting up a new pack. Hormonal birth control pills can really, really mess up your system if not taken correctly.

Hope the appointment goes well!

When is it a great time to have sex? _(link)

This question is really not as difficult as one may think in the beginning. It sounds as if it is complicated to figure out when the best time is for a person; however, it is very simple.

When you are prepared emotionally, physically, and financial to have children then it is the right time to engage in sexual activities. Children can be accidents, birth control is not always effective, and it's best to be completely prepared. A parent-to-be needs to make major decisions while being stable enough to handle the worst. You should be able to answer some questions like:

1. What if the baby has a defect--physical and/or mental?
2. What if I lose my current job? How will I support myself and another being?
3. Am I in a stable environment? Will I have a safe place to come home to with my child?
4. Who would tend to my child while I work to support the family? Who can I trust this well?
5. If I am a woman, can I my body handle being depleted of vital nutrients? Am I in good health? OR--Is my partner in good health? Can my partner's body handle carrying a child to full-term safely?
6. In a few years, will I be able to start answering a child's question about life, sex, drugs, and even responsibility? How would I handle this?
7. If my partner decides to abandon me, becomes extremely ill, or passes away will I be able to cope and remain stable for the sake of the child in question?

Personally, I know many people who became impregnated the same night they lost their virginity. Some were on birth control even so that alone shows the ineffectiveness of it. Some were prepared for such things and some were completely lost and had to scrap their entire life-plans to raise another being.

Personally, I'd like to be prepared so that I could give my offspring the best chance at life possible. I wouldn't want to raise a child that wasn't capable of making it in life because I wasn't ready to put down my life for his/hers.

When you are prepared for the worst and know that with your mate you will get through it together. Many people contract STDs/STIs on their first encounter from a partner that was simply unaware that they were a carrier. Many virgins have STDs from their parents and were never taught that the symptoms they experience are not healthy.

You need to be as educated as possible before engaging in sex. This means knowing all of your facts--good and bad. Many people like to pretend that they are not at risks for STDs and then when they are diagnosed they are confused, lost, and completely uninformed. If they had been responsible and researched beforehand they would have been able to cope a lot easier.

Many people now leave their partners for silly reasons. They may leave the person with all of the burden and responsibility. The person may have contracted an STD from an unfaithful partner that they will now have to live with and inform other possible partners about (embarrassing). They may have to rear a child completely on their own because of the selfishness of their past mate. Many people are in such a hurry now that they don't take the time to figure out if their partner is true and loving to them, and so they rush into things entirely too fast and get caught into a horrible mess.

To help you out some, here are a few links you should definately check out while giving this thought:

Here is a link about pregnancy costs to know about:
http://www.surebaby.com/costs.php

Here is a link that has some really freaky STD facts:
http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm

Here is a link to photos of STDs you should research so you're aware of what they look like on the body:
http://www.healthac.org/images.html

And here is just something simply for you to read and think about. I read it and thought it was pretty neat and gave some good points:
http://www.tagnet.org/adventist.fm/youth/virgin.htm

Here is also a link on some things about virginity. I think it has some neat points and gives examples to explain what they're talking about:
http://www.prolife.com/LICKONA.htm

In short, it's right to have sex when you are prepared in every way possible--there is no way too label a specific age for this. Think about all of the possibilities--good and bad--to having sexual relations and answer them all honestly. Some people will reach this stage at age 21, some people won't reach this age until 35.

I hope I've helped educate you on this and you'll be able to make the right decisions in life. If you have any more questions regarding this matter, please feel free to ask me :)

I had a miscarriage in October 3 and a half weeks into my pregnancy. I didn't suspect I was pregnant until a couple days before the miscarriage so for about two weeks prior to that I had drank probably four times, was under a ton of stress due to college and I was drinking multiple cups of coffee a day. I always thought that my drinking and stress caused the miscarriage and when it first happened I was more in shock than anything, then relieved that I wouldn't be having a baby when I was 18.
Its all hitting me now that I was almost a mother but I keep having the thought that I'm the reason my baby didn't survive. I don't know what to do, I'm an emotional basket case from it. Every time I see a baby I get all choked up and now my boyfriend (father of the almost baby)'s sister is pretty sure that she's pregnant but she's still waiting to take a test and I'm getting all excited for it.

I just want to know how I can get past all of this, I end up crying almost daily. _(link)

No sugar-coating it: It may or may not have been your fault but there's really no way to tell now. You know you were doing not-so-good things while you were pregnant but you didn't know you were pregnant. Some people think that's OK then since you didn't 100% know your actions were leading to severe consequences. Take this as gained knowledge for the future either way.

Pregnancy can happen any time you are engaging in sex. Any time. Even if you use hormonal birth control pills, condoms, spermicidal foam, etc. There is always a risk.

Since there is that risk we should take better care of ourselves than we typically do. Many women drink heavily during their first weeks of pregnancy because they have no idea they're pregnant. We really just shouldn't be doing that or not--knowingly pregnant or not. If there's a risk then there's a possibility--see what I'm saying?

Learn a vaulable lesson from this and give the next child a healthy mother to grow in if it is to be. You owe it to your other child if not anything else. You will never know if your drinking, heavy caffiene intake, and excessive stress caused your baby to stop developing properly. Sometimes it takes heartache in things like this to realize bad habits and how to stop them.

It's OK to cry and be upset but it isn't OK to dwell on it. If you were to become pregnant today then you would put your baby through that stress of the grief. It's time to learn and move on.

Lesson learned.

You do bad things to your body then it won't be healthy. You engage in sex, you may become pregnant. If you do bad things to your body AND you engage in sex then there could be pretty bad consequences.

Let's be adults and take care of ourselves now. If you plan to become pregnant in the future then start taking some prenatal vitamins (should take them about 6 months before becoming pregnant anyway). If not, then you need a good multivitamin anyway because a miscarriage IS hard on the body and the hormones.

Stop drinking, especially if you do excessively. What does drinking HELP anyway?

Cut down on that coffee. There are other ways to stay awake. It's been said that if you give your body a great amount of pure, clean water then it will stay more alert than if you were to drink a cup of coffee.

Relax a little. Stress doesn't help anybody with anything in the long-run. Calm down and take a good relaxation day once a week--even if you're just taking a walk outside for an hour that day. Whatever relaxes you--you HAVE to incorporate that into your life!

Know that your chances aren't over and that you can be the best mother possible if you want to be for the next child you are pregnant with. Just because you messed up once doesn't mean you should stop there. You shouldn't hang on to these feels for life--LEARN about them and improve yourself.

It's possible that other factors lead to your miscarriage but, like I said, we do not know that. It's best to improve yourself so that when you are in a situation next time you will be supplying your unborn with love, care, and health.

And, no, you're not a bad person. Not at all. Not even a little bit. You're just young and needed to learn something...here's your chance...

I had the Mirena IUD birth control removed about 5 months ago I had it inserted at the end of 2007. Since I have had the Mirena out I have ran into a load of problems but never thought anything big of it until recently. Three days ago I started my period only it wasn't like when I usually get it it was excessive blood and extremely heavy where I was changing pads every 3 hours or so. I filled the toilet bowl with blood and clots and while changing my underwear I would be standing up dripping all over the floor. I put on an extra large pad very thick and long for extra protection today and within 2 hour period it was loaded with blood again...2 nights ago in the early morning I awoke due to abdominal pain and bleeding..I was wearing my underwear with a pad and shorts and I bleed right through my shorts. I've been crying lately and I can barley sit because of sharp on and off pains in the abdominal area. I took a bath last night to help with pain but it only made the bleeding much worse. I am going to see my gynocologist but I just wanted to hear on what others had to say to this. I also couldn't help think maybe I had a miscarriage but I took a test and it came out negative...

Some view point please _(link)

Changing your pad every three hours on the third day of your period is actually very, very normal for most of the female population. The only time you are suppose to really be concerned over having your period heavily is if you experience severe bleeding that soaks your pad in an hour or less. If you're able to go 2 to 3 hours before having to change your pad then there isn't anything to worry about in that situation.

If your bleeding lasts more than 10 days or is heavy for an entire 10 days (no tapering off) then you should be concerned.

Passing bloodclots is also very normal for women to experience. I've passed blood clots when I first started my period when I was 11. Not to be graphic, but when I'm on my period I also drip blood into the toilet and pass a few there as well. I've 'ruined' a few bathroom rugs by walking from the toilet to the shower or standing at the toilet. I'm just a heavy bleeder. There are many reasons why you may pass more clots into the toilet than when you're sitting, standing, or doing your normal activities.

When you're sitting on the toilet your body "opens" a little more down there. That, coupled with the movement of your urine or feces leaving your body, means more fluids and material can flow out of your vagina and into the toilet.

At night, I wear TWO overnight pads. I wear them lined up so that if I move in my sleep I will not leak onto my pants. It's very common for girls to have to put a towel down under their bottoms when they sleep or to have to wear two pads. The movement in addition to the heavy period can cause some very untidy clothing when you wake up. It's absolutely nothing to be concerned about.

If you notice you are bleeding more, suddenly, when you go to the restroom in the morning after sleeping or that you're passing more bloodclots than you did during the day then do not worry about that either. Gravity is not helping things to move out of the body when you are laying down in bed. When you stand up, move to the restroom, and sit on the toilet (again, the opening of the vagina and the movement of the bodily functions) cause things to come out and it may appear you're bleeding heavy or passing a lot of material when it has been 8 hours worth of things hanging around in your vagina.

Crying during your period is far from abnormal, especially after a few months of stopping any type of birth control. Hormone fluctuations can cause these sorts of outbursts and problems. You may also feel depressed during this time or extremely emotionally vulnerable. It happens for most women. Some women also experience the problems before the period begins and this is called PMS (pre-menstrual syndrome).

The ONLY things to be worried about from your description is:

1. Sudden heavy bleeding that is abnormal for you.

2. Abdominal pain.

Abdominal pain may actually just be cramping. If you haven't really experienced cramping while on your periods before then SURPRISE! you are now. Cramping can cause some women to be completely useless for a few days because of the pain and uncomfortable feelings. It can be described as "sharp pains" and can be more uncomfortable when sitting if you need to go to bathroom to poop (NEVER hold it in).

There is a reason that doctors prefer to only insert an IUD in women over 25 and have given birth before. Here is a very good point:
"It's important to read the Mirena site carefully -- they actually say this is intended for women who've already had a child. Pharmaceutical companies do not say things like that without a very good reason and that reason usually relates to a potential law suit. That gives me the distinct impression they believe there's a chance a woman could end up sterilized from this."

IUDs are not very healthy for the body and can lead to severe infections within the uterus. It also has a pretty nasty side-effect of causing a woman's period to become longer and heavier after usage--even when removed. Long-term bleeding (more than 10 days heavily or 12 days total) or bleeding with few days in between cycles can cause infertility by creating uterine scar tissue.

10 to 12 percent of women using Mirena will develop a cyst on one or both ovaries. Cysts can cause great pain, infertility, ovulation problems, and other varying symptoms.

There is also the extremely scary factor of the possibility of PID (pelvic inflammatory disease):

"PID is a serious infection of the uterus, fallopian tubes and the ovaries that can lead to infertility, sterility and chronic pain."

Taking a test early in pregnancy doesn't always show positive. Most tests cannot detect the pregnancy hormone until a day or two before your period would begin. This being said, IF you are having a miscarriage then it might have been too early to detect the hormone. Also, 24 to 48 hours after a miscarriage you may OR may not be able to detect the pregnancy hormone with a OTC test.

You're right about seeing your doctor since you didn't have these problems before. Call and get an appointment ASAP so you can get some definate information.

Wish you well!

Will a yeast infection go away on its own or what can you do to get rid of it? _(link)

Yeast infections are caused by a disruption in the balance of good bacteria in the vagina. Sexual intercourse, antibiotics, using too much soap, tampon usage, and even wearing tight clothing can all cause a yeast infection to occur.

If you have never had one before and you suspect you do now, then you NEED to see your doctor for a proper diagnosis. From there, you can purchase over-the-counter medication such as Monistat from your local store. The 7-day treatment seems to be the best of the bunch. It comes with the medication, applicator, and instructions so you can do it yourself in privacy.

It is VERY important you see the doctor because a yeast infection has the exact same symptoms of a bacterial infection (or bacterial vaginosis). BV infections are very, very harmful and end up rendering you infertile, and causing you severe pain for the rest of your life if left untreated. Women commonly misdiagnose BV with a YI, causing them heartache and physical pain years beyond then.

Until you're able see a doctor, you may want to wear a panty-liner so you don't have wet underclothing/pants. Do NOT wear a tampon as it will further disrupt the balance in your vagina, and if you don't have an infection, you can get one then. You may also want to wear some looser clothing.

Consuming plain yogurt may help while you're doing the Monistat treatment and in the prevention of another yeast infection but it will NOT get rid of one that you already have. Even better, you could look into purchasing some Lactobacillus acidophilus pills from your local store (Wal-mart, various pharmacy, GNC) to take each day for prevention. L. acidophilus is what is in the yogurt that helps, but yogurt only has a small amount of it so it would be more helpful to purchase some of the pills.

I hope you get yourself to the doctor to confirm your issue to be a yeast infection and all goes well with current treatment and preventative measures.

Hi , okay when i wake up and i brush my teeth , after i get a HORRIBLE stomach ache ! it really sucks because it ruins my day ! is it normal? am i doing something wrong when i brush my teeth? PLEESE HELP ! I RATE 5 ! _(link)

If your toothpaste contains fluoride then you may be having a type of allergic reaction to the toxin. Fluoride is horrible for our bodies and it's possible that your body is overloaded with it and begins to feel pain when you subjet it to more fluoride.

Fluoride seems to be promoted to us in unhealthy ways. It is usually in our toothpastes, mouthwashes, and most tap water. Fluoride is actually a hazardous waste product (actually it's referred to as a Nuclear Waste Byproduct) that can be very harmful to us, causing us serious illnesses such as bone cancer. The fluoride added to public drinking water is actually fluorosilic acid, just as a note.

Florida phosphate fertilizer smokestacks actually happens to be where fluoride comes from in the end. It was found that cattle and crops nearby where dying in insane amounts from being so close to the wastes from these smokestacks so filters were enforced to lessen those issues. People now are hired to go and scrap off these filters and use that byproduct for what we know as fluoride--yes, the same thing that was causing the death of plants and animals!

This link shows you the dangers of fluoride usage and how it's caused some serious illnesses:

http://www.fluoridealert.org/health/index.html

Soâ€¦that is some things like:

Joint Pain
Brain Damage (lowered IQ impairment of learning and memory)
Skeletal Fluorosis
Bone Cancer
Osteosarcoma
Kidney Disease
Infertility
Hypothyroidism

Fluoridation was first advanced in the US at the end of World War II. There was claim that fluoride in water and toothpaste would help to protect teeth and prevent decay. Over the following decades, fluoride was added to public water supplies across the country, and now only a handful of places in the United States are un-fluorinated.

It turns out that fluoride may have serious adverse health effects, including infant mortality, congenital defects and IQ as well. It is a fact that it's more toxic than lead and marginally less so than arsenic.

On a less serious note (apart from the cancer and overall destruction of your body) it is the leading cause of fluorosis. Dental fluorosis is characterized by black and brown stains, as well as cracking and pitting of the teeth. It' caused by an OVERDOSE of fluoride, according to wikipedia:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dental_fluorosis

Usually a person ends up needing their teeth removed and dentures made because the process cannot really be reversed. It also usually happens only to adult teeth, but sometimes younger children develop it very early on. Here are some photos of people suffering from fluorosis:

http://www.equinox-products.com/images/FluorideMaster/DentalFluorosisMottledTeeth1.jpg

http://www.zerowasteamerica.org/Images/MildFluorosis.jpg

http://homepage.eircom.net/~fluoridefree/images/Df.jpg

http://www.nofluoride.com/tooth.gif

http://www.donaldrobbinsdmd.com/images/fluoride_02.jpg

Here is a link to a short documentary called The Fluoride Deception:

http://www.guba.com/watch/2000963110

Which was based on the book The Fluoride Deception by Christopher Bryson. According to him, "Fluoride is an essential component of atomic bomb production and was declared a 'strategic and critical' material by the government after World War II, With fluospar, the usual fluoride source, in short supply, they turned to Florida's phosphate industry to recover the industry's captured fluoride. Florida held the world's largest geological deposits of natural phosphate which contain 3 - 4% fluoride.

In a sweetheart deal these phosphate companies are spared the expense of disposing of this 'fluosilicic acid' in a toxic waste dump. Instead, the acid is sold to municipalities, shipped in rubber-lined tanker trucks to reservoirs across North America and injected into drinking water for the reduction of cavities in children. (So toxic are the contents of the fluoride trucks that, in the aftermath of the September 11, 2001, terrorist attack, authorities were alerted to keep a watchful eye on road shipments of the children's tooth-decay reducer.)

There was yet another potential cold-war reason for disposing of fluosilicic acid in public water supplies. The Florida phosphate beds were also an important source of uranium, harvested for the Atomic Energy Commission. Because uranium is only a trace mineral in the phosphate deposits, enormous quantities had to be processed to glean worthwhile amounts of uranium. So, large amounts of waste fluoride were also produced. Permitting that fluoride to be dumped into public water supplies - rather than being disposed of as toxic waste - reduced the cost of such uranium extraction and provided a supply of fluoride."

Fluoride is being added to our waters, despite the fact that is not beneficial in any way. It's even being added to a bottled water especially for infants called Nursery Water. It was once said that fluoride causes less tooth decay, but it's a fact that: "New York City children have more tooth decay than the national average, despite fluoridation," and, "Second-graders who live in non-fluoridated Long Island, New York, are more likely to be cavity-free than second graders nationally."

http://fluoridedangers.blogspot.com/2005/11/fluoridation-does-not-save-money-or.html

Fluoride keeps dentists in business with fluorosis and products being marketed with fluoride in it. We're told that fluoride treatments are only to help our health, but, in reality, it ends up causing us to seek dentistry more often.

It's really scary when you think of the warnings on products contain fluoride:

"Keep out of reach of children under 6 years of age."

"If you swallow more than used for brushing, get medical help or contact a Poison Control Center right away."

"If more than used for brushing is accidentally swallowed, get medical help or contact a Poison Control Centre right away."

"Never give fluoridated mouthwash or mouth rinses to children under six years of age, as they may swallow it."

"Use non-fluoridated toothpaste or no toothpaste for young children."

There are some really nice toothpastes (and other products, obviously) that are fluoride-free. Tom's of Maine seems especially popular. I like to use a product called Dr. Ken's maximum care toothpaste:

http://www.drkens.net/products.asp

...but when searching for products you must read the labels to see if it specifies "fluoride free".

So, try to purchase products that do not contain fluoride for your own safety. It's possible that the problem will disappear after you stop using product with fluoride and you will no longer have HORRIBLE stomach aches after brushing your teeth! :) Your body will be much happier if you make the switch!

P.S. If you use mouthwash or floss then make you check those too for the fluoride! ;)

I am really sick but I don't know what is wrong with me. If anyone has ever had anything like this, please tell me!

First it started about 2 and 1/2 to 3 weeks ago. I work as a cashier in the local grocery store and they had put me on the register really close to the entrance. A draft was blowing in and within 20 minutes I had a sore throat.

Well, that sore throat stayed for a few days (~4 days or so). It suddenly had disappeared when I woke up one morning but my voice sounded HORRIBLE. My voice was all scratchy and went in and out all day long. This went on for another 4 days or so, but I had no pain with it. Well, it started to go away about the same time I had some sort of chest congestion happening. I felt like I had a lot of mucus in my chest so I bought some medicine to break it up. Then I proceeded to have a cough for a few days (4+), which I handled with medicine as well.

So, the cough goes away but I still felt a little sick for another couple of days. That feeling left me a few days ago and now, now I'm in terrible pain all over my body!

I don't have a sore throat. I don't have a crackly voice. I don't have a snotty nose or mucus congestion. I don't have a cough. I have no "symptoms" of a cold, the flu, or any other illness that is common. I had my period and this pain started like the last 2 days of my period, I'd guess.

My muscles hurt though. My joints hurt! It's like every single muscle in my body has been trampled. My joints and muscles are absolutely killing me, to the point where I called in sick to work one day. I stayed in and rested all day long that day but I was still just as sore. I've had two days in a row off since I called in sick and my body still aches.

The pain feels much like I've overextended EVERYTHING, but I have no idea how. I started the job about 2 months back and was only "really sore" like the first two weeks of it. The job gives me the normal sore-from-standing-all-day but the pain I'm having now is really, really bad and not like before.

So, my muscles AND my joints ache for no reason that I can find. Nothing is giving me relief either. Warm showers don't help. In my sleep I have to lay in a certain position to help lessen some of the pain (if I lay in certain positions it feels like I'm pulling a lot more muscles).

I haven't done any manual labor that should make me hurt like this. I haven't changed eating habits really (and I was taking vitamins up until yesterday--just in case they were causing some sort of inflammation). I've been drinking enough water. Heck, I have gotten plenty of sleep recently. The weather was weird for a few days--where it was really warm and now it's back REALLY cold again.

I thought maybe it was mono since I've never had mono but I don't have any other symptoms associated with mono.

Can anyone tell me what my cause me being sore like this all over and how I can fix it? Any idea what this could be? Is there anything I can take or do for relief? _(link)

Dehydration and a vitamin deficiency can really take your body down quicker and longer than you think. It's possible that during your illness your body used up some of it's reserved vitamins and minerals it needs to function. You may be severely low on some key nutrient that you're not getting from what you're currently eating.

The body tries to sleep when ill so that it can rest and heal within. When somebody has the flu they're never full of energy and even after the flu has gone they are still drained for days. Your body went through something bad and it needs to heal back up to "normal" working order.

It doesn't sound like you were ready to fight off illness in the beginning though. If you're coming down with an illness in 20 minutes and felt completely fine before then it might be a sign that you were low on something before the illness actually started up within your body.

Take a multivitamin every day and up your WATER intake. Try to regulate your body and keep it healthy. If it wants to rest then rest but remember to stay active at the same time--take a nice walk and do some stretches to help keep the muscles active and working.

I am an 18 year old male and I have been a pretty emotionally dead person for...well since my early childhood. And when I say dead I don't mean depressed or really down or anything of that nature. It's nearly impossible for me to feel anything genuine and I can only put a mask of fakeness on so I don't seem so far out. When I was in a psychology class I read about something called anti-social personality disorder and it almost disturbed me how similar the symptoms were to my own character. I've done enough to put myself away for the better half of my life and I haven't felt a shred of remorse or conscience. Anyways, I'm wondering if my lack of emotion is a cause of concern. Nothing brings me joy, pain, or sorrow and I can't even feel love for my own family anymore. NOTHING will make me feel anything and it bothers me. All I feel like is a body and a brain without a soul. Something is wrong with me but I don't know what. I'm a very intelligent person and all it seems I can do is succeed with material things like work while my relationships are built on false pretenses and emotions I never even felt but acted like I did. My question is: If there is anybody somewhat educated about this...what could be wrong with me? Do I have anti-social personality disorder?...and am I stuck with this? _(link)

It's very difficult to give you a diagnosis without having at least one lengthy session one-on-one with you, detailing your childhood until present day. It's likely that you are not a "dead" person inside and that you are suffering from an accute form of depression; although, like I said, it's fairly impossible to give you a proper diagnosis without meeting with you about these issues.

There are other things you should think about when considering your current lack of emotion. Thinking back through the years, has anything given you joy? Have you ever felt enraged? Have you ever cried from emotional distress? If so, then you do not have a personality disorder. You did not "grow up" emotionless. You were not born with this "defective" trait.

When I say "think back throughout the years" I truly mean to think about everything. Being excited on Christmas morning is emotion. Crying when grandpa passed away is emotion. Being afraid of the monster in the closet is emotion. Being sad when someone broke up with you or a relationship ended is emotion. Laughing at your best friend's joke in high school is a feeling of joy, even if it's only slight. Fearing that you won't graduate, will fail a test, or are simply scared of growing up into an adult--emotion! You don't have to feel them all though because you're human and none of us have the same feelings towards particular experiences.

It's possible that you had a poor role model growing up that taught you that emotions were a bad thing to feel and express. If this is true then you may not quite understand what emotion is when you do experience it. One person you veiwed as a role model in your childhood can really cause you great emotional damage later in life if they were not well-suited to the role you chose for him/her. It's also a good possibility that you grew a great attachment to someone/something and it/they went away for one reason or anything. It may have caused you to feel lost and confused for awhile and as a way to cope you dismissed all further feelings of emotion that you began to experience.

You must deal with this problem now. You absolutely cannot just accept it as it is. You need to solve this or you will end up leading a very sad life. Nobody deserves to have to go through a joyless lifetime.

I suggest two very major things that you would have to stick by to make them work:

1. Seek out a proper therapist. Meet with him/her at least once a month, preferably more often. Talking things out will help you to figure out what happened and when it happened. You may be able to understand this problem better and overcome the emotional barrier with a good therapist. Sometimes one event can cause a mind to shut off something very vital in the future--something you need to open back up now.

2. Begin to create a meaningful life for yourself. Personally, I suggest volunteerism because it creates a bond with your surrounding community and fulfills our desires to be needed by others. This in itself is therapy and you must view it as such--something you ABSOLUTELY MUST do every when scheduled.

Sit down and find out your local organizations looking for volunteers. You may volunteer at the hospital (keeping things organized for nurses' and help patients cope), an elderly center (keeping someone company in their old age), a child's center or library (reading to the children), at a soup kitchen, a homeless shelter, delivering food to elderly shut-ins, working at the battered women's/children centers, or even raising funds for a foundation. Preferably you should set aside one day a week at the minimum to volunteer at your choice of organization. It's your choice if you want to volunteer at just one organization every friday or mix-and-match every thursday.

Many people now are so busy with their own lives that they lose sight of what it is to be loving and caring. You see, knowing that you are helping others does great things for the self-imagine. You soon realize that you aren't useless and just a blob of flesh bobbing along through life.

It really seems that the problem is our current lifestyles. We no longer "have time" to help others. Nobody volunteers now because they feel that they should be paid money for their time. Nobody goes out of their way to show care for others because that time could be used for something else. Both of these are common and we're taught (it's drilled into our heads) that we are the most important in our lives. This is not true at all: the people surrounding us are the most important.

The people who surround you create your sense of belonging though. Those people help you to see yourself as useful. Those people are the ones that can show care back for you. Without those people, you aren't anything anymore. Without others you cannot create happiness or share fond experiences with another human being. When you were a child, do you remember having an outing with a friend and enjoying it? Just sitting around, eating pizza, and joking maybe? What if you had been alone? It wouldn't have been so memorable, would it? It would have been almost pointless.

The media keeps telling us to only worry about ourselves. Sure, it's find to tend to your own needs--but what happens when everyone is too busy with themselves? What happens when everyone stops worrying about caring for others? They become depressed, wondering why they don't belong somewhere and why they feel lost in society.

What's strange is the more we focus on ourselves and stop helping others, the less we feel good about ourselves. As humans, we NEED interaction. We NEED acceptance. We NEED to know we are important in life. We NEED to SHARE experiences with other people to find the joy!!! Most of all though, we desperately NEED to help others to gain all of that plus more.

Now, you may even consider doing random acts of kindness while you find an organization best suited to your current lifestyle needs:

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=546646

I suggest you grab a phone book and make a few calls. Sit down with a calendar and set up one or more days a week to volunteer your time at certain places. Don't stress yourself out trying to fit things into busy schedules, but move things around so that your schedule won't be hectic but will have the fulfilling volunteer time in it. It's important to make time for this so start creating some free time to make yourself useful to your community.

Find a good therapist that you can open up to and who can find what the cause of this problem.

Begin creating reasons to feel by helping other people.

Give yourself some time to settle into the new situations. Make new friends. Laugh about jokes with eachother. Listen to how sad someone's life has been or about their exciting youth. Laugh and cry when it comes to you. It will come--just don't push it back and try to hide anymore.

Don't give up and "accept" this. You can change it. I promise.

do you think i should be scared to use a tampon? I'm 13 and this will be my first time. I'm afraid I'm going to put it in wrong. Will it hurt?I keep telling myself that i can do it but then i back out. _(link)

I definately recommend pads for your menstrual cycle. Pads can be worn during light days, heavy days, and even simple discharge days. Tampons can only be worn during your actual period or your risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome increases dramatically. You also do not need to worry about waking in the middle of the night to change your pad if you're not a heavy bleeder; however, with tampons they MUST be changed every 6 - 8 hours or bacteria will multiply so quickly it can cause some severe problems.

Symptoms of TSS include high fever, vomiting or diarrhea, severe muscle aches, a feeling of extreme weakness or dizziness, and a rash that looks like a sunburn. If you ever have these symptoms while wearing a tampon, remove it and tell an adult immediately. Have someone take you to the nearest emergency room as soon as possible.

When I tried tampons I ended up passing out over and over again within seconds of insertion. My body was obviously screaming at me that something was terribly wrong although nothing was painful at all. I often wonder if some other women have experienced this and thought it was normal because it definately is not okay to experience. I really believe it dramatically shocked my body and that's why I passed out.

My first gynecologist I had actually told me that tampons increased my risk of cancer. My mother had cancer before in her vagina area and was told to NEVER wear tampons again because if there is any cancerous cells in there it will irritate them and cause them to begin multiplying if they aren't already. My mother was also told to tell her female children this too since we are higher risk for that sort of cancer. I asked my first gynecologist about it and he definately recommended not using tampons because of the increase cancer risk.

The longer you leave a tampon in, the higher risk of TSS you are taking. Bacteria begin to grow in the warm, moist environment of your vagina. These bacteria can grow within the tampon, enter the body from inside the vagina, then invade the bloodstream, releasing toxins that can cause a very severe, life-threatening illness.

Tampons also pull a bit of your vaginal lining out when being removed, believe it or not. This is why many women who use tampons aren't as sensitive as they once were inside of their vaginas and why many tampon-users suffer from yeast infections and bacterial vaginosis. The tampon also can leave particles behind from it, causing bacteria and yeast to grow on it. Another case is that women are frequently needing to purchase personal lubricant for sexual activities because their bodies have stopped producing enough natural lubricant to engage in such activities without problems.

The ripping of your flesh and leaving particles of material behind cannot be avoided when using tampons and could very well be why you experience discomfort with removal. I would be big money on that being the reason it is painful to remove tampons from your body. This will not go away until you become somewhat desensitized down there--and what woman truly wants that?! Please consider switching products for your own health and safety.

Here are some good websites about why women should stay clear of tampon-usage. Theses sites are pretty darn interesting:

http://www.thekeeperstore.com/dangers-tampons/

http://www.thebody.com/content/art497.html

http://www.earthisland.org/journal/tampons.html

http://www.frontiernet.net/~ruthb/Tampons.html

As a very last note, you may want to check out menstrual cups. Here is a link to a question about some and my answer is pretty thorough when explaining them:

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=533850

If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)

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