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Everyone's Getting Pregnant Except Me
It seems like everyone around me is getting pregnant. A lot of my relatives and friends are having kids, getting ready for motherhood. Even some are getting ready for their wedding in the upcoming months. I feel not only left out, but I have always wanted a child for months. Not because everyone else is, but because of the dream of being a mother. My fiance and I have been trying for a few months, and just yesterday I found out a very close friend of mine is pregnant. I cried for hours because we had plans to go through it together. Now I am by myself as everyone is preparing for weddings and having a family.
Could someone offer me some advice or encouragement about what I should do? I feel so down but yet I still want to keep trying.
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A lot of my friends are married and having kids..it upsets me knowing that I've been dating my boyfriend for five yrs and he still hasn't popped the question and then seeing other people only dating for a year already getting married/engaged. When I think about it, I get really sad and angry like "what about me?" But then I realize that just because him&I aren't married doesn't mean we don't love each other any less than the married couples. For you, just because everyone else is having kids doesn't mean you should too! You have a long time to have kids so enjoy the time you & your husband have now because if you have kids, the next time you & your husband will be alone is when all of them graduate and even that is not a guarantee!! Instead of worrying about trying to "keep up with the joneses" why not do things that your friends can't do because they have kids like travelling or romantic weekends!
Good Luck ^_^
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A few months is absolutely nothing is the getting-pregnant world. It takes many people up to a year to get pregnant!
Make sure you're leading a healthy lifestyle first and foremost. Many times the female's body is not healthy enough to carry a child to full term or the male's body is producing plenty of UNhealthy sperm that cannot survive the travel to fertilize the egg.
You and your partner need to be taking vitamins every single day. You should be on a prenatal for at least 6 months before you conceive and your partner needs to be on multivitamins specifically for men to help keep his prostate working properly. I am taking a liking to Maxi Health Maxi One Prenatal:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
My husband is really, really fond of Prescriptive Formula Optimal Men's Vitamin Pack by Nature's Bounty:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Stop smoking, drinking, and using recreational drugs. All of these listed have been proven to cause inferlity short and long term. The sooner you stop, the better chances you will have now and later.
Change your eating habits. Stop eating so much junk food and candies and start eating more vegetables. The better nutrition you receieve, the better your body will absorb it. Dump out the junk (and, no, don't try artifical sweeteners because they've shown to produce infertility as well)--the sodas, candies, cakes, etc. You don't have to do anything so strict that you cannot have a little snack here and there but you need to be aware of what you're putting into your body every day.
Stop consuming things with artificial sweeteners in them. In the long run, it's better to drink a can of coke than it is diet coke. The artificial sweeteners in many products cause so many health problems it's ridiculous.
Exercise regularly. You don't have to go out to the gym or lift weights but you and your husband both need to give your muscles a work out at least 3 times a week. Go for a short walk together or do a workout video together that you both are able to do. It's vital that you both work on this.
Make sure to de-stress often, at least once a week. Make time to just relax. Watch your favorite movie together or just have a night out bowling. Whatever it is that you need to do to relax--do it! Stop worrying about getting pregnant or others getting pregnant--it only adds to the problem! Know that when it's time then you two will have a baby. Relax about the situation and try to get your mind away from the focus of it.
Track your cycles. From the day you begin your period you need to keep track on a calendar of what is going on. Mark your first day down as "Start" and 'x' the following days that you are bleeding. After 6 months of this you should get a decent idea of when you might be ovulating. Ovulation, typically, occurs about halfway through your regular menstrual cycle or on day 14 for most women. During ovulation you will have more chances of concieving because of the conditions within your body.
If you cannot track your cycles because they are SO irregular (more than 32 days long, typically) then I hope you have a little cash saved up! Start buying some things at your local Wal-Mart or other store:
OTC Daily Ovulation Predictors
OTC Fertility Tests
OTC Pregnancy Tests
Begin with the fertilty tests so that you know you are able to get pregnant. Use these for at least 6 months so you get a strong idea of the results. Use the daily ovulation tests every day for at least 6 months so that you can grasp a better idea of when/if you are ovulating.
Throw away:
Your artificial lubrication.
Artificial sex lube hinders the sperm's ability to be mobile and may make them unhealthy. Try to drink more fluids (WATER!) so that your vagina can maintain good lubrication when needed.
Have sex every 3 days at the most. Having sex more often than that can cause sperm counts to go low, dehydrate the body, and dwindle away nutrients.
Ask your partner to NOT wear tight pants. Tight clothing causes circulation problems in the testes and may make things too warm for sperm to develop properly. Let him around around the house in his boxers (or nude)! If you have to go shopping for looser pants and underwear then do it! It's healthier for him in the long run!
Pick up a iodine supplment for you and your husband to take regularly. New research is finding that many Americans are depleted of idoine and are experiencing common problems because of it--diabetes, low metabolism, headaches, fatigue, and temporary infertility! Head down to your local vitamin shop and look around for some kelp for iodine supplementation (along with your prenatals and your partner multi)! Look for, preferably, Norwegian sea kelp or Bladderwrack. Consume 1,500 to 2,000 Milligrams of this supplement each day. My favorite one, so far, has been Nature's Herbs Norwegian Kelp:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Relax. It really hasn't been that long of a time. Many couples find that when they stop worrying about becoming pregnant and start leading healthy lives together, happy to just be together, they become pregnant. Getting pregnant sounds easy but it's a very complicated thing. Your uterine conditions have to be a certain way to produce offspring. Toxins built up in your body can prevent you from becoming pregnant. Having a stressful job may cause you to miscarriage before you even know you're pregnant! It's possible that you've been pregnant a dozen times already and have never made it past a couple of weeks!
So, most importantly than anything, don't panic. It'll come when your body can handle it. If you've been trying for a year or more then see your doctor just for a routine check-up, making sure things are OK.
It'll all happen in time. I wish you the best of luck. Please feel free to inbox me more directly if you have any further questions, as I have a LOAD of useful information when trying to get pregnant!
P.S. Don't listen to people who say that it's been too long to have not gotten pregnant. Some people get pregnant very easily, very luckily while most of us take a little time, especially if we haven't treated ourselves very well all of our lives. There are tons of couples who get pregnant after two years even!
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