Hi! I'm a 21 year old college student.
I currently have my AA in psychology and continuing my studies as a psychology major/human development minor. I've been giving advice to my friends for years. I consider advicenators as a way of using my schooling for the real world. So ask away!
Gender: Female
Location: California
Occupation: Student
Age: 21
Member Since: March 16, 2009
Answers: 24
Last Update: February 5, 2010
Visitors: 3123
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It seems like everyone around me is getting pregnant. A lot of my relatives and friends are having kids, getting ready for motherhood. Even some are getting ready for their wedding in the upcoming months. I feel not only left out, but I have always wanted a child for months. Not because everyone else is, but because of the dream of being a mother. My fiance and I have been trying for a few months, and just yesterday I found out a very close friend of mine is pregnant. I cried for hours because we had plans to go through it together. Now I am by myself as everyone is preparing for weddings and having a family.
Could someone offer me some advice or encouragement about what I should do? I feel so down but yet I still want to keep trying. (link)
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A lot of my friends are married and having kids..it upsets me knowing that I've been dating my boyfriend for five yrs and he still hasn't popped the question and then seeing other people only dating for a year already getting married/engaged. When I think about it, I get really sad and angry like "what about me?" But then I realize that just because him&I aren't married doesn't mean we don't love each other any less than the married couples. For you, just because everyone else is having kids doesn't mean you should too! You have a long time to have kids so enjoy the time you & your husband have now because if you have kids, the next time you & your husband will be alone is when all of them graduate and even that is not a guarantee!! Instead of worrying about trying to "keep up with the joneses" why not do things that your friends can't do because they have kids like travelling or romantic weekends!
Good Luck ^_^
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heyy i was wondering if you know anything about green tea and diet plans, i wanted to start a diet to lose close to 10 lbs in a month. and I heard green tea was a good way to burn fat.
Do you know a good diet plan? and Im 16f and a vegetarian. (link)
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If drinking green tea lets you lose 10lbs in a month then I'd be anorexic! LOL! Green tea has a ton of antioxidants & anti-aging agents. But the only kernal of truth to that is by drinking something other than soda will help you lose weight! Nothing can ever really help you burn fat only a way to curb your hunger. Personally I don't prefer straight green tea. I have orange, peppermint, ginger, etc teas so choose whatever you like. And being vegetarian helps a lot because my housemate is a vegan and she wants to gain weight! So diet plans really don't help but if you want to lose some changes to what you already eat like switching from Vit D milk to 2% or skim, eat slowly between bites, etc. Diets don't work but lifestyle changes do!
Good Luck! ^_^
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Okay i have been faithful to my boyfriend for almost a year now and he keeps saying I'm cheating when i never cheat. But i do what us to break up i can't keep putting up with him and not having a life but i want him to break up with me but i don't want to cheat i just want out that's all but i can't bring myself to break up with him
How do i make him break up with me without hurting him? (link)
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By being with him you're hurting yourself. Best thing to do is to pull him aside alone at a neutral place without too many people around and say something like "It hurts me to hear that you think I'm alwasycheating on you because I'm not. I don't like always defending myself because it's emotionally draining. When you always accuse me it makes me mad and I'm not happy. Trust is important in a relationship and since we don't have trust I can't be with you." Tell him how you feel. You will have to break up with him because if he thinks you're cheating and him and he still hasn't broken up with you chances are is that he's not going to. So take matters into your own hands!
Good Luck! ^_^
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so me and my boyfriend have been together for only a month now but our relationship is undescribable. he is the most amazing guy i have ever met and we click so well.. he is the male version of me. we dont get to see each other much because he is the in the army but when we do we have the most amazing time together and when we arent together we are always talking. problem is he failed a drug test so he is getting kicked out of the army in a month and is going through punishment which is working all day everday basically. we know we prob wont be able to see each other til he is done maybe once for a little before hes kicked out.. but he got arrested last night. he couldnt show up to work and so he is in even more trouble. the army might send him to jail again and who knows when i will be able to see him again. he finds out what happens in the morning but he is still stressing out so bad. he called me and said he was sorry and told me he wants to be with me but is worried that i dont wanna be with him. i told him i cared a lot about him and that i want to be with him and that i will be there for him but i dont think he fully believes me. he is depressed and im scared he is going to break up with me to save himself from getting hurt even tho i will be there for him no matter what. i sent him a text when we got off the phone that said "im so glad youre a part of my life i hope you dont leave me cus you think i wanna leave you.." Im not sure if thats something i should have sent him but im so worried. what should i do? (link)
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Luckily you've only been dating him for a month! Get out before you get in way over your head! If you guys love each other a lot you can definitely wait til he's out of jail and working on fixing himself. He can't take care of himself let alone take care of you too!
It's very very hard to get kicked out of the army because they accept everyone and anyone so whatever he did is very serious. You don't want to be with a guy that already has a criminal record which in turn lessens his chance at finding a decent job once he's out. So that would mean you would have to support him from now on if you two still decide to be together. You need a man that can take care of you not the other way around
Hope I helped!!
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Here's the thing. My friend is 13, her boyfriend is 18 (Don;t judge they were cute together -plus I know this is wrong-) And my friend's parents were ok with her going out with this dude, as long as nothing physical happened. Well, she had sex with him and texted me telling me all about it(as she does) and her dad read out Outbox messages on her phone and found out. So, now she is GROUNDED, she is forbidden to see her boyfriend ever again, I think they are moving her to another school so they can't be together there. She's not allowed out of the house, she's not allowed the internet... she just has to sit at home and do nothing. I want to see her, her parents wont let me talk to her on the phone because they think I'm just going to put her boyfriend on the phone.
I'm also friends with her boyfriend. They are both so heartbroken about this, and the boyfriend wants to leave her, just until she's a little older, he knows that the age difference is too much right now, so her wants to wait for her... but he can't even tell her it's over.
I feel so bad for my friends and I want them to be happy, but I don't know if my friend's parents will let her out of the house ever again. ):
What do I do? I just want to talk to my friend. How can I convince her parents to let me see her for at least five minuets???
PLEASE HELP. (link)
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It's sad to see such a bad thing happen to your friend. And you being a good friend want to help her but right now in order to be a good friend you have to let her parents deal with it. The reason why her parents are freaking out so much is because her boyfriend commited statutory rape which is very serious because your friends parents now have every right to charge her boyfriend with those charges and they would win. He could go to jail if they choose to prosecute. Usually relationships like this at such a young age difference don't last because now that he had sex with her. And how convenient he wants to leave her now that te got what he wanted and wants to moves on. One of my friends who was a freshman dated a senior guy and she ended up with STD's 3 times and she got pregnant. Let's hope this doesn't happen to her. And don't worry her parents can't keep her in her house forever. You will probably be able to see her in a few weeks so for now just give it time!
Hope this helps!
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I am 19, female. I go to college in a pretty big city. I am currently looking for a job, and I have applied at so many places, but no one seems to be hiring. I am looking for ways to make some money, all legal of course. Does any one have any suggestions? (link)
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Since you go to college hit up your career center which is especially designed for students. Look up internships in your city or other neighboring towns. Also keep reapplying to places because no one is hiring right now because all employers let go of their seasonal employees so try reapplying in beginning or end of Feb. March is when it starts to pick back up again
If you really do need some quick cash; try selling your old textbooks to students or on ebay, or turn in some spare change to the bank or a coinstar
Hope I helped
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Hey,
This is a sorta (not) random question.. How can i meet cute,sweet guys? I am turning 17, I live in a tiny town, and there are not any decent guys living where I am, they are jerks. I am not ugly or anything, I am a very open minded, lovable, sweet, athletic, fun girl, and I am not afraid to be myself. I just have bad luck when it comes to meeting guys and must be doing something wrong. Whenever I go out places, all the nice guys seem to be taken... there are never any that seem interested,looking,or even giving me hints (that i know of). I know boyfriends arent everything, but it is something that would make my world a lot happier. I know there is a part of whoever is reading this thinking "boys can just be trouble", but I believe having a special someone in my life would do me a lot of good, since I have no one. My best friend dumped me for my brother (some friend) and I dont have any close friends in my life. I need someone *special* but how to find love/a guy is the problem. There must be decent,lovable guys out there.. I just wish they werent too many miles away :/ :p (link)
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Don't give up! There are decent guys out there. Pay attention to some that may not be considered your "type". Shy guys and "nerdy" types. For you I think you need a shy type of guys because once they open up to you, they are just as fun as a "bad boy" but with more class. A few good places to meet these type of guys are at a library, Borders, arcade, or places you like to hang out. Look to see who's a regular and see who works there. From there strike up conversation. Another way is to make guy friends. Guys are better friends than girls if you ask me and my best guy friend is now my boyfriend. So maybe consider taking that route. Hope my advice helped!
Good Luck ^_^
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okay so we're in love blahblah but the thing is, he's 17 and doesn't drive and he expects me to always give him rides. i honestly don't mind doing it as long as ive got nowhere to be and he gives me gas money once in awhile. he says he'll give me gas money but we both always forget until i drop him off and then i'm like "oh i forgot to get his gas money" but the thing is, if i remind him, i feel bad asking him...he works alot and has money but i still feel bad i guess =/ what should i doo? (link)
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I might be a bit old-fashioned but being old fashioned has its good points in saying that this guy is a total LOSER!!! What ever happened to a guy driving YOU around and treating YOU with his OWN money! He has a job! He could at least stop being cheap and pay you for wasting your time, gas money, and maintenance on your car. I think he's being selfish in thinking that you'll always be there for him and he's taking advantage of your kindness. Think of it this way, my bf at some point in our relationship didn't have a job, car, or money. Yet he somehow managed to see me and take me out. Love is a two-way street. I think you should give him 2 weeks without any rides and see how it goes from there. You'll know after the end of two weeks.
Good Luck ^_^
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hi, i'v never acatualy done this before as I'm a straight A student and normaly have my life together. However recently this boy i liked asked me out. It's been going ok, dates are a bit awkward. I'm pretty sure the only reason he's dating me is because of appearance, he doesn't seem to be interested in what i say.
so i immeresed in contimplating of dumping him but i really like him and stuff so i'v decided not to. i'm travelling to europe for 4 weeks and if my relationship is just based on appearance for him then maybe this won't work. I thought i could get him to "really like" me for who i am but now that im going on vacation. i dont know, 4 weeks is a long time..
-female
14
(link)
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You're a good student and will most likely be going to college after high school. You don't need a guy like that holding you back. I think you need to find a guy with the same intellectual level as you. If you're not feeling it now, most likely you won't be feeling it when you come back in 4 weeks. Guys normally won't change who they are unless they are already doing it while being with you. So go to Europe and have fun!
Good Luck ^_^
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I've been hanging out with this guy. Do guys think it's wrong for girls to make a move.. like a kiss.. first? If I know he likes me. (link)
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Of course we are in modern times and girls sometimes do make the first move. However, if a guy really does like you, he will make the first move, shy or not shy. I have the shyest boyfriend ever but he still made the first move. On your part you have to actually give him hints, tell him, or something to let him know its ok to make a move. It's all about equalization not dominance.
Hope this helps ^_^
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How do I get over him? It's been 3 months and I'm still struggling.
Female,14 (link)
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Usually it takes twice as long to get over it. So probably about 3-6 months before you really heal. If he was your first love. You probably won't ever really get over it because he was your first. Depending on exactly why you broke up in the first place you really do need to talk to him because you probably don't feel that resolved and you can't fully heal and move on unless you know exactly what went on so you don't make that same mistake in the future. And ask questions and make sure to get answers. Best thing to get over a breakup is hear an apology from a guy or the guy that hurt you. It's scientifically proven!
Good Luck ^_^
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I've been going on and off with my boyfriend for over a year.. his birthday is coming up and he'll be turning 18. I don't want it to just be like all of his other birthdays, because he's turning 18, I would want it to be good! you know..? I've gotten him nice jeans and band shirts before .. soo haha.
- He's in a band, he plays guitar.
- Wears nice jeans, but band shirts.
- Listens to screamo music (HA! I know.. and I'm preppy lol)
- Likes XBOX .. doesnt have the new one though.
- Like movies .. but not going to the movie theater (haha IDK!)
I'm not sure what I can do that will be good and not lame and stuff! Guys are so difficult to shop for sometimes haha. THANKS! (link)
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For my boyfriend's 18th birthday, my friends and I and his best guy friend took him clubbing!! But I don't know of any "screamo" clubs. Or buy him a lotto ticket!
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when something goes wrong between my boyfriend, M, and me, i totally lose it. i just get so depressed and pissed off and it gets on everyones nerves. the thing is, i really love him. but im so scared that if something goes wrong, ill lose him again. (he broke up with me twice before..)
im pretty sure hes sick of his high maintinance girlfriend anyways. im sick of being a naggy bitch, but i dont know what else to do. how can i talk to him about this without him thinking im totally obsessed? (link)
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I'm glad you realize that you're not blaming your bf and see that it's you that you need to work on. Which is totally fine. I act the same like you. I get mad at my bf and tell him really mean things. Best thing to do is be honest. I tell my bf, I'm sorry I act crazy, I realize I'm acting crazy and I'm trying to work on my anger, depression, etc. Please be patient with me. I really need you at this time and if you can't deal with this right now. I understand. The reason why he probably keeps breaking up with you is that he doesn't want to deal with verbal abuse ((which is the same as physical abuse mentally)) and healthy relationships don't involve either. Everytime you start getting worked up just think of someone beating you up and remember that you don't want to feel that way and neither does he. PS. You're not high maintenance, you just have a different way of dealing with stress! Don't worry!
Good Luck ^_^
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16f
I've like my guyfriend from school for about 2 and a half months now (it seems so much longer...) and it's possible he likes me but he might not. And there have been a lot of signs saying he does and also certain things saying he just sees me as a friend. I can't tell anymore, I'm so bad at this, I've never had a boyfriend before. Recently I feel like I'm not getting as far with him as I have before, everything is just the same and we're friends. I feel like I'm not getting through to him and it's hard for me to just drop hints that I like him because I'm just bad at this. I'm considering admitting that I like him. But I don't know how, everytime a guy has found out I liked him its just like a complete epic fail, and I feel like it's just going to continue to happen to me. And the only time a guy has found out directly from me was a couple months after my friend blabbed it and I had initially denied it, and that was a big disaster, so I have no idea when, where, and how I would admit it to him. But the thing is compared to other guys I've liked I have a much better chance I'd think and he's much better and more of a keeper than any other guys I've liked, but I wouldn't want to ruin our friendship if this were to backfire. I don't know what to do! Should I tell him and risk rejection and possibly mess up a friendship? And if so how the hell should I do it? I'm so bad at this, please help! (link)
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Its not what you say but how you say it. If you just come on to him without any warning and just say I like you! To him he's probably thinks WHOA! Where did this come from? I thought we had a friendship. So what you should drop hints for about a few weeks then let him know. Best advice I can give is give flirty compliments like your shirt's really nice I like that color on you or tell him a really cute love story like the Notebook and ask what his opinion on it. That way you tell him how you would like to be swept off your feet. See if you connect on a romantic level. When you really can't take it anymore just say, hey I noticed you did "blah blah" and I was wondering if you like me. Then wait...if he hesitates; you quickly say "cuz I think I might like you too" If he quickly says no or I just want to be friends just say ok cool I just wanted to clear the air, are we ok?
Good Luck ^_^
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16/female
normally i dont need help but this is like serious haha. my exboyfriend & i went out for 2 years.. im finally over him after 6 months. of course there are a cute guy in atleast 1 of my classes, but most of the cute ones are in honors.. surpisingly. haha well this one boy lets call him shae, is in my math class but sits on the other side of the room. hes REALLY quiet, but i kinda am too cause i dont talk to alot of people in that class. ive only talked to him twice lol. i asked him if he talks and hes like yeah i do i just have no friends in this class.. and i asked if he got a haircut and he said yes and i told him i liked itt lmao. i really dont know how i'm spose to talk to this boy who sits on the other side of class.. same with alot of other boys. & we have assigned seats. s0o how do i talk to the boys that arent in my classes.. or sit on the other side of the room lol =) (link)
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Since it's a math class, before or after class suggest a study group!!! In study groups even the best students get a bit sidetracked. And invite some other kids too from your class so he can get to know the other kids and it won't seem like a date to him so there's no pressure. That way you can talk to him about the class or what he likes to do or whatever. As for boys in other classes, if I always see them in passing just smile everytime you see them and gradually just say something like, "I see you every day, my name is ___" or say something stupid like, "Are you stalking me?" LoL! As corny as it is..it makes people laugh.
Good Luck ^_^
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help!! i want to talk to my crush but whenever i see him i get all nervous and scared how do i work up the nerve to approach him? and what do i talk about when i do talk to him?
thnks so much im so desperate for advice (link)
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Don't be nervous! He's a normal person like you and I! If I really want to talk to a crush, if he's in my class, I ask him to about the class and how he likes it, make some kind of joke about the teacher that way you show your humerous side and break the ice and soon you can start talking about other things. Another thing is if your nervous stand near him when talking with friends or waiting for class to start and just say nice weather or something like that. If he's a total stranger who you kinda know get a mutual friend and ask him/her to invite you in the convo with your crush
Good Luck! ^_^
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I have known Carolyn my whole life basicly. When I stayed back in the 6th grade i started going over her house to do my homework and everything. She knows like everything about me. (She is 73) Well... Im not really sure what happened bu over a course a couple months we grew apart. Everytime I go over there now she calls me a bad christian for not reading the bible nightly, im a bad christian because I have bi and gay friends and dont cut myself off from them. I am doing horribly in school because my friends are. She doesnt like ANY of my friends. Im not doing good in math because we just got into like algebra and its O_O. Hard. Well I call her to tell her and shes like well. its the people your hanging out with. the last time i heard some of your friends were failing... How does that effect me at all. Next day. The guidance councelor wants to talk to me about my grades and asks about Carolyn... Shocker. I donno. I dont think its me though Carolyn says it is. That ive changed. I dont think I have. Its just everytime i go over there she tears me down and critisizes me. She makes me feel bad about myself. I tried explaining and she didnt get it. So i sorta stopped going over as often as i did. Now i only go over because i have a job training dogs and even then Carolyn wil critisize me infront of Monyen. Even Monyen will wait till shes out of the room and be like Hey. Dont worry about it... --and basicly say carolyn is in the wrong. Everytime I try to talk to her she guilts me and starts to cry. I dont know what to do. When I get home I dont want to go over. i wanna get into some boxers and go on the comp to read Ouran. I explained it to the guidance counselor and she says that it sounds lie carolyn is pushing me away.. but everytime i talk to carolyn its me thats changing. i dont now what to do. I feel bad for not seeing her as often as i had before. but i cant go over there without her mentioning God. or my School.. or friends. I cant do anything right. I just need a solution. Whos in the wrong.. whos in the right... (link)
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For some strange reason Carolyn sounds like my mom! My family is catholic and my mom acts like the catholic-est person ever. Even though my faith doesn't agree with bi or gay people I like them because god doesn't want us to be mean to other people! You are not a bad christian!! It sounds like your guidance counselor is right. There must be something going on w/ carolyn that she hasn't told you yet or she feels that because you're getting older you'll turn away from her and she doesn't want to face rejection. My mom did that my senior yr in high school. Instead of visiting why don't you call her instead that way you can check up on her and when she starts talking about what you don't want to it's easier to hang up or switch topics. If she hurts your feelings you need to tell her too. Don't go over there so she can hurt your feelings, embarrass you, and make you cry. You are so much better than that! God knows that you are good in your heart so you don't need to prove anything to Carolyn because god says don't perform deeds so it can be seen and if he sees in secret he will repay or something like that.
Good Luck ^_^
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I don't know what to do!!!
My friend Lo is really bitchy. She bitch about us in MSN and we're nice to her. She just thinks we ignore her a lot but she was just the one who doesn't talk and never tries. Lately it's getting worse and worse and this has been going on for about 1 month now. She's happy, she's sad. She spends most of her days crying and sobbing OOOH MY LIFE SUCKS! But she was the one who never tries. After a few weeks of this we were getting tired. Tired of her mood swings and bitching. Tired of her nosiness and jjjjjjjust wanted her to leave but she stuck to us. Now everyday I have to face her complaining and being a bitch to me.
Just now, she said on MSN that she wants to start doing drugs which really caught my eye, because it'll ruin her life. I know I hate her but i hate to see her ruin her life because of something so SMALL.
She wants us to be friends again but that is impossible. Like if someone liked her and was her friend I would easily stop being friends with her but the problem is now NO ONE likes her. In my class NO ONE likes her. If we really did give her up then who knows what she might do when she's gotten to the point where she wants to take drugs and talked about dying?!?
BEING FRIENDS AGAIN IS IMPOSSIBLE BUT THAT"S THE ONLY THING THAT WILL MAKE HER FEEL GOOD ABOUT HERSELF AGAIN, but is there another way? She thinks I don't care about her feelings! And now she doesn't even know what her brain is thinking about! How did such a small thing become so big? I know part of the reason is because she is a drama queen but I know it's not entirely her fault, but i just really can't be friends with her anymore.
HELP! WHAT SHOULD I DO?! (link)
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I have a friend exactly like that! She only wants to be your friend if its convenient for her! My advice is you should as her "friend" be blunt and honest say everything thats bothering you even if she won't like it. Just say something like, I feel very frustrated at you because you complain a lot; it's emotionally draining and it's come to the point where I can't take it anymore. I would still like to be your friend but I feel that if you want us to be friends with you, you have to tell us how we can help you otherwise we don't know how to deal with this. If you continue to act like this I'm afraid I can't be your friend anymore. By saying this it basically tells her the ball is in her court if she wants to be friends then she has to make an effort and if she doesn't you basically told her you don't want to be her friend.
Good Luck ^_^
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I get really nervous when I have to do a presentation in the front of the class (like many other students). I'm in college now and my dread about oral presentations is still fullforce. I will practice forever, but when I get up there, I never say what I want to and end up looking stupid. I have a presentation coming up and we can have flashcards with us, but what can I do to keep myself calm? Sometimes I get so nervous I sweat and feel like I'm going to pass out. What are some tips people use? Any advice would be appreciated, especially if you have this problem too! (link)
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The same thing happens to me! I feel so stupid when I start studdering and laughing nervously. My 3rd semester in college I had to take a speech class for my lower division preeq and I realized the best way to keep calm is to know your classmates! Once you talked to everyone you'll realize that a lot of people in your class have the same fear and you can be nervous together! When you know them and do a presentation you wont feel as nervous. When I also speak I look at the teacher so it's like I'm having a one-one convo. Hope that helps!
Good Luck ^_^
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what do you do if your parents accuse you of something you didnt do? (link)
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What I do is strategically list logical remarks and rebuttals. Such as think out where and when you were that day in detail then go to them and say that you didn't do it because you were in school that time frame, etc and use your class schedule, phone history or whatever as proof. If you know who did what your parents are accusing you of, snoop and find out definitive evidence that accuses the other person that way your parents know. Another thing i can suggest is recruit someone that was there or knows the story and they can tell them.
Good Luck ^_^
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