It usually takes about a month for any birth control pill to kick in, but even then, I would suggest using a condom, simply because birth control pills are not 100% preventative, and I'm sure you know that. But if you're intent on not using a condom, make sure you take the pill at the same time every night and watch your periods to make sure they're relatively on schedule.
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!
NEVER change for a guy. If you're going to change for anyone, change for yourself. YOU have to be happy about the way you are/look. Who cares what everyone else thinks, as long as you like it? If you like your style, keep your style. If you don't like it, change it. It's totally up to you, and ONLY you. If a guy can't like you for who you are, not the way you dress, you don't want to be with him. I mean, does it really make any sense to lie to a guy about your personality, or your style JUST to get him to like the person you try to be? Then you could change back to the person you used to be once he starts to like you, but if he doesn't like that person...would you really want to be with a guy who likes a lie, not you?
Think about it. Don't change for him. If you're gonna change, change for you.
Hope this helps!
-Siren =)

I think a lot of girls think negatively of guys and are feministic because they've (myself included) had their hearts stomped on a few times. It's hard to get over something like that. Besides, how do YOU know that we're all like that? We know - or at least we should know - that not all guys only want sex. However, so many guys really do only want sex, it's hard to tell who does and who doesn't. You've gotta see it from our point of view if you want answers to your questions. Girls are not generally as stoic as guys are, and it's harder for us to deal with getting our heart stomped on. I mean, I went without a crush on anyone for 18 months because two guys stomped on my heart, and enough seemed to only want one thing to make me hate guys. The guy I'm with now somehow managed to chisel through the ice around my heart, but I hadn't wanted or expected that to happen. Girls are feminists because we like ourselves, lol. We don't always think of sex (of course, not all guys always do, but it's certainly on their minds enough), we don't have to be violent when we greet our friends in the halls (i.e. *Punchintheshoulder* "Hey man!" *Shove over to the side* "How's it going?") I personally never understood that. All girls have different reasons for being feminists, but those are mine.
Hope this helped answer your question!
-Siren =)

I'm a bit of a lip gloss addict too. I think it's a matter of opinion, and actually depends on the guy. I'm not a guy, obviously, but my boyfriend actually likes my lipglosses. The really STICKY ones are bad for kissing, but if they're just like...a sheer roll-on, like bonnebell's lip fashion (we like berry starfruit), I don't think it's a problem, as long as it's not like...over slathered so he's like...drinking it. That's just icky. But if you don't wear over sticky stuff - or tinted stuff. Tinted lip gloss is bad with guys. Generally bad ON them, too - I don't think it should be much of a problem.
Hope this helps!
-Siren =)

Oh yeah, I've felt like that so many times. I only ask advice from one of my friends, and that's because I don't give him advice. I feel like I can't ask for advice from the people I counsel (well, at least the people I know that I counsel (my friends)). but I know what you mean, I think.
-Siren =)

Hey! I love to read too. I can go through like..8 books in two days, or less. Lol. I know what you mean. I reccomend anything by Meg Cabot or Jenny Carroll(sp?). I reccomend the Mediator series in particular, but I like supernatural/fantasy-type books. I also like Tamora Pierce's books. Go for the Lioness Quartet, the Immortals, and...oh what was it...oh yeah. Protector of the Small. All of those are series, connected with each other in that order. Those are long - they should keep you in books for awhile if you like them, lol.
Oh, and Teen Idol is a particularly good book, too. Meg Cabot, I believe. Funny.
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)

Hmm...offhand, I can't diagnose you. If you're worried about it, maybe ask an older male friend if you're not comfortable about asking one of your parents. If you are with your parents, though, ask then to take you to the doctor. That could be a urinary tract infection (don't hold me to that, I'm not sure), and needs to be correctly diagnosed.
I hope this helped on some level, lol.
-Siren =)

I'm not totally sure, actually...I could guess, but I hate to give answers I'm not certain about. I suggest you ask the advice pool and see if someone more knowledgeble can help you out.
Sorry!
-Siren =)

First realize that you being with your best friend's (or just friend, as it were) ex may stir up some icky emotions from her.
Okay - If I were in your situation, I think I would go up to him one day and tell him that I wanted to talk to him alone, and tell him exactly what you told us, starting with the "and I figure maybe if I..." part. Also probably excluding the "what do I do/help me" part as well. If you want to be with him in a solid relationship, you've gotta tell him. He might think you're totally okay with having sex and not being in a relationship, and you're obviously not. He's not psychic, though, so he can't know that unless you tell him.
COMMUNICATE YOUR FEELINGS! Communication is always / often the answer.
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)

If you're unhappy in your relationship, you shouldn't be in it. The main reason to be in a relationship is to improve your life and make you happier. Don't try to go for the other guy if you know you can't be with him, but don't stay with your boyfriend if you're unhappy.
Tell him the truth - that you're unhappy in the relationship, and you'd feel better giving the whole bf/gf thing a rest for awhile. You don't have to tell him the WHOLE truth - about the other guy - but you need to explain to him why you want to break up, if you decide to break it off.
The final decision, of course, will be yours, but you do need to think about what you want to do. If you stay with your guy and you're unhappy, you're leading him on - making him think you still like him when you maybe don't.
You also don't always HAVE to have a boyfriend. It's nice, honestly, but it's not necessary. It can be fun to be single. Consider all your options, and make what you feel is the best choice.
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)

Hey, I'm TERRIBLE at taking tests, and I only missed one question on the permit test. I believe it's mostly common sense questions, and make sure you know your road signs, and what to do if your car has braking issues. I believe that was the one I missed. Just review your driving manual or whatever, and you should be fine. Don't freak. Good luck, and I hope this helps!
-Siren =)

I had this predicament awhile back. Call him/talk to him about it. Tell him he needs to apologize to you first if you're so intent on making him apologize first. But if it's really bothering you/really upsetting you, call him and/or talk to him about it. He's never gonna know how upset you are unless you tell him yourself. So talk to him. You'll never resolve a fight unless you talk through it - or even verbally duke it out. Fight, compromise, apologize. That's how it should work. Talk it out. Communication is KEY. I hope this helps!
-Siren =)

Heh. You could do what I did. Suggest the two of you go see a movie (there are some great ones coming out). It doesn't have to be a date, just a pair of friends going to see a movie. Or maybe go to dinner - or just go hang out somewhere where you can get to know each other. You wanna be in a relaxed environment. Just talk awhile, and pay attention to the way he acts. Flirt a little and watch his reactions. If he plays along chances are he likes you. If he's been playing along all night and all that, when there's a lull in conversation, (this is what I said) "for all that you flirt with me, do you actually like me?" if he tells you he does, you're free to go "good, I like you, too."
(I went to a movie with my guy and used those basic lines, and we ended up dating. Our 1-year anniversary is tomorrow. ^_^)
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)

It depends on exactly how you flirt, I think. I sometimes flirt verbally, but I don't let guys touch me, and I don't touch any guys other than my boyfriend. I mean, like if you let guys pick you up and you laugh and cling to them or whatever (I used to do this - it drove one of my boyfriends crazy), that's physical flirting. However, if your guy doesn't like that you flirt, you need to respect his wishes and not flirt. Pay attention to the way he acts if he knows you flirt. If he acts kind of awkward, chances are he doesn't like it.
But I really think it's okay to flirt as long as you don't let it go too far.
Hope this helps!
-Siren =)

Well, my mom has informed me that stretch marks fade over time, and are almost totally unnoticeable by the time they fade (I have icky stretch marks too...I feel your friend's pain, in a way. Mine are already fading). Ignore them for now, or if she really can't stand them, tell her she can cover them up with body makeup. I really reccomend just waiting awhile and letting them fade, but I'm a bit of a natural-ist myself.
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)

He needs to tell her what happened and let her make the decision whether to stay with him or not. If they break up, you two can end up together. However, know that she'll probably be mad at both of you. If she knows you liked him, she may forgive you, but I doubt she'd forgive him so easily. You know it was wrong, but did you think that maybe the situation was just kind of out of your control? I mean, your aunt died! You were upset, he was comforting you - it just got out of hand. That's all he needs to tell her. She can make the decision herself. Talk to her, if you want, and tell her you're sorry - but only if you are. Are you? Judging by the fact that you said you liked him a lot, I wouldn't think you would be sorry that it happened. I honestly think that someone who cheats is like an accident waiting to happen. Their relationship might have been going downhill for awhile, or maybe just on his end. Or maybe it's just time for him to move on. If so, I suggest you two wait awhile...just to be nice to his ex.
Anyway, he needs to tell her what happened, and explain to her that the situation just got out of hand. Just relax and let him talk to her. He needs to decide who to be with - his girlfriend, or you - and he has to decide on his own.
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)

Anja (interesting name, by the way ^_^)
Well, if he said "maybe" twice, that's definitely better than a "no"! I think the "maybe" means he's considering you. You've got a chance, dear! Lol. If you want more specific help, or anything, don't hesitate to contact me again.
I hope this helped!
-Siren =)

Well, I'm not sure if I can help you, but I can certainly try to console you a bit...my friend is seventeen and she's never had a boyfriend in her life. Your friends with such good lives, I'm sure, will have (or have had) their fair share of troubles. You're just going through a rough period. It'll smooth out. The only thing is, if you want it to, you have to wait it out. Don't kill yourself. Suicide is the coward's way out, in my opinion. You'd just be giving up. Do you really want to do that? As far as bad stuff, you want to know what sucks? Having crohn's disease flare ups, asthma problems, a cold/laryngitis, and a boyfriend in Vegas for two months. I had all those this past summer.
I know it's not the same, but still. Bad shit happens, but then things go well. My life, for example, right now, couldn't get much better.
I know people making fun of you has got to bother you, and beaten up...have you told an adult, or anyone? If not, you need to. You probably don't want to 'cause you probably think that'll make it worse. In all honesty, it might, but I still think you should tell someone with some sort of power.
If you want to talk to someone more about this, or just vent or anything, don't hesitate to IM SirenCytherea. I'm online nearly every night.
I hope this helped on some level!
-Siren =)

Loving someone and being in love, first of all, are two very different things.
I knew I was in love with my boyfriend when I could picture myself with him far into the future, and I couldn't imagine being with anyone else. He's the guy I want to be with for the rest of my life, and to me, that's love. Everyone, though, has a different opinion on love. When you're in love, you know it. If you think you're in love, chances are you aren't. It's...really difficult to explain. I thought I was in love with the boyfriend I had before this one, but I wasn't, and I didn't figure that out until I started dating the guy I'm with now. I've never felt so safe and protected in anyone else's arms...Love is an awesome, indescribable feeling. In my opinion, real love doesn't end. Real love is what keeps marriages together. Real love is what you have when you're with the person you're going to be with for the rest of your life. That's just my opinion, though.
I hope this helps on some level!
-Siren =)

Oh sweetheart, I feel your pain - quite literally. It didn't stop hurting for me until, like, the fourth time I had sex. If the guy's big and you're small (since you were 12, I imagine you were) it hurts a LOT. Think about how much you have to stretch down there to accomodate his size. That's a lot. It hurts even more if you're not stretched out at all - like if you don't use tampons, or never finger yourself or anything, you're gonna be small down there.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. You're just young, and small. It'll stop hurting when you stretch out. Trust me on that one.
Hope this helps!
-Siren =)

I'm a laid-back 26 year old with a Psychology BA, starting my MA program, and working my way into the field as quickly as I can. It took me an extra Bachelor's degree (in vocal performance and creative writing) to figure it out, but I was put on this Earth to help, to heal, and to love.

I have made the decision to dedicate my life and career to helping others. I am here to do just that.

I've been a member since 2004, and since I signed up, I've gone through quite a lot and learned quite a lot from it. I'm here to give guidance where I had none; no one should have to go through the difficulties I went through alone.

Feel free to visit my website/blog, if you want to read my experience with domestic violence and my thoughts on it.

***While I do tend to answer mental health and other health-related or medicine-related questions, I am by NO MEANS a licensed physician or practitioner of any sort. Any and all advice I give for these questions is from my own experience or studies.***

If you need to get a hold of me quickly, my screen name on AIM is SirenCytherea. Just let me know you found me here.

I'm a strong believer in the idea that there are no stupid questions except the ones left unasked, so, please, keep an open mind, heart, and mouth.

Siren

Website:
Gender:
Age:
AIM:
Member Since:
Answers:
Last Update:
Visitors:
Main Categories:




Favorite Columnists