Aww...*hug*
I'm sorry. it'll be hard to get over anyone if they died. I had a friend in 6th grade who died of cancer and I still haven't quite gotten over the fact that I'll never be able to shoot pencil-blow-darts at people with her again. (If you break the top part of a bic click pencil off, the eraser part of it becomes a blow dart. It's fun!) Anyway...Talk to people, let your feelings out. There's really no way to get over him. It'll pass in time, but you'll just have to wait it out. I'm sorry this happened. I hope this helped on some level. -Siren =)

Hey! I'll try to help...lessee...
Well, I'm an only child too, so I know what you mean, in a way. Hmm, I can see where a social life would be a problem, at the gym 6 nights a week. Just talk to him. I know it's easier said than done, trust me. I used to have trouble talking to guys I liked too, even if they did talk to me. I'd be worried about saying the wrong thing all the time. I was finally able to talk to one last year because I was trying to kill my developing crush on him. Just take a deep breath and open your mouth! Trust me, you can't do anything worse than stuff I've done and said to guys I've liked. Lol. I did all the wrongs things - that's why I give good advice on this kind of stuff. I know exactly what NOT to do, lol.
Don't worry about seeming stupid. He's your friend, he won't care. He's trying to get you to talk, so just comply. He'll be happy to hear your voice. Trust me. If you don't have trouble talking to girls, try thinking of him as one of your girl friends when you talk to him. Just don't start talking to your crush about how hot he is...Lol. I hope this helped, and if you want more/different help, don't hesitate to contact me again. -Siren =)

When I started birth control, I spotted for a month solid, and THEN had my period on top of it, and I'm normal, and the pill works. Spotting is one of the side effects, but you know that already. If it doesn't stop after a month, I'd suggest you ask your doctor about switching to a different pill. I take Yasmin 28, but I have friends who couldn't take that. Different pills work differently for different people. Lol it's true. Talk to your doctor about what's going on, and ask him if you should switch pills. What my gyno told me when I went on it was that sometimes the side effects can last for 3 months, but if they last any longer, he needs to give me a different pill. So yeah. You should tell your doctor what's going on. Hope this helps!
-Siren =)

I think it depends on the type - and "strength" - of tampon you use. For instance, I used to use playtex slimfits, but I ended up with the same problem you have, so I tried Tampax Pearl (those are good, by the way) and had no leak issues. I'd suggest you try a different brand of tampon and strength. If your period is heavy, it may leak. Tampons don't always get totally covered with blood, so that part's normal. Also, when you're on your period, if it's heavy, I suggest wearing some sort of minipad just in case you leak. It's not abnormal to leak, just annoying. I hope this helps!
-Siren =)

It's totally up to you in this situation. If you want a girlfriend, look for a girlfriend. If you want to be focused on school and not dating, don't date. Don't let anyone else make the decision for you. It shouldn't matter what your friends think, as it IS your life and not theirs. Think about it that way. A girlfriend doesn't always get in the way of school, you know, as long as you can balance both effectively. I wasn't planning to get into a relationship since I wanted to focus and just stay away from guys, but I ended up in one. We've been dating for over a year and I'm focused and getting straight A's. The effects a relationship has will depend on what kind of a person you are and how focused you can be. It's up to you, not your friends or your parents.
I hope this helped!
-Siren =)

Aww, congrats! If you're an artsy type of guy, I'd make her something. Sometimes the best gifts are the ones handmade. If not, then give her something like a stuffed animal, I'd say. As far as doing stuff...If she likes classic romance, take her to dinner and a movie and end it with cuddling in front of the TV or the fireplace, or wherever. (Or whatever, depending on how far you've gone with her, lol)
Ooh, something else that's fun to do is cook with her. My guy and I did that as sort of a late birthday present for me, and it was really fun. Of course, we both like to cook, so...lol. Hmm...It really depends on what kind of people both of you are. I hope this helps...if you want more help/ideas, you can IM me at SirenCytherea or contact me here again.
-Siren =)

Ooh, I think I can answer this one. I believe you, much like me in ninth grade or so, like the chase more than the relationship prospect. You like the feeling and mystery of having a crush and not knowing if he likes you back or anything...when he starts to like you back, the mystery is gone and there's nothing to chase after, or work at. It's normal, and I think it's a phase. I went through it, but I've been with the same guy now for over a year. It just takes finding a good guy, I think, to help you get over that.
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)

I have excercise enduced asthma too. You NEED to tell your coach. Feeling like you're going to pass out is crappy. You need to have an inhaler on you at all times, and you need to tell your coach. If you can't breathe right, you'll have trouble thinking right. If you can't think right, you can't fence well, can you? I took track when I was in sixth grade and had an asthma attack every time I tried to do sprints, or run laps or anything. I eventually quit the team because I hated having asthma issues all the time. I'm not telling you to quit the team, but you HAVE to have an inhaler in an easy-to-access place for you ALL the time if you're doing any strenuous activity. You could get a bad attack and have to go to the hospital if you don't have your inhaler. That would suck. It almost happened to me. If people think you're a lazy bitch, tell then you have asthma and that you need to have an inhaler before you can do all that running. I hope this helps! -Siren =)

Tell your current boyfriend about your fears. Let him know that you don't want anyone to get hurt, and that you're just a little worried because he seems to have some of the same characteristics as your last relationship. If you tell him that, he can talk to you and assure you that this one will work out better. (Guys are good at that. Trust me.) I had freakout periods when I felt like my current guy was going to break it off or whatever, and I told him I was nervous, and he assure me he wasn't going to - and we're still together over a year later. I hope this helps!
-Siren =)

Aww, honey. I know how you feel. I had that feeling during my last relationship. When all the relationships my friends were having were breaking up, I kept feeling like I was next.
That could be why - that when you were in a relationship, he never took it seriously. If he doesn't take it seriously, it's not gonna last. Talk to your boyfriend and tell him what you're feeling. Let him assure you that nothing will happen, and that he does take it seriously. During the third month of my current relationship, I was starting to have doubts because my longest relationships lasted only 2 months. I talked to my boyfriend about what I was feeling, and he said he was feeling the same thing, so we talked it out and realized that we were going to stay together. I wasn't planning to break it off, and neither was he. Moral of the story: when having worrying boyfriend issues, talk to your boyfriend. It's really a lot more helpful than you think. Hope this helps! -Siren =)

[Edit] In response to the feedback you gave me, Just express your worries to him. Tell him what you're feeling. Describe emotions. Just start talking and let the sentences happen, lol. That's what I usually do. Of course, I sound like an idiot occasionally, but that's only nerves. You'll be fine. He's your boyfriend! Just talk to him. =)

Heh. I remember those days. I know you probably don't want to hear this, but it's true. It really does come naturally. But just 'cause I know you really want tips...keep your lips relaxed, but not like....gushy. Lol. Make sure you don't actually pucker them, 'cause then your lips get all hard and stuff. Tilt your head to the side a little - pay attention to which side he'll probably be leaning towards, and lean the other way - so you don't bump noses, 'cause that sucks. Furthermore...don't expect your first kiss to be perfect. Mine really sucked. But the guy was also a lousy kisser. If your guy doesn't kiss you, and you want a kiss, lean in for one and see how he reacts! Sometimes we have to make the first move. I had to actually tell my current boyfriend to kiss me the first time. He was shy. (aww) Lol I hope this helped, and you can contact me any time. This is what I do! -Siren =)

I really reccomend Clinique Quickliners in any color. It doesn't smear or cake. I've cried with it on, and I didn't have black lines on my cheeks. MAC also has good eyeliners. Um...Those are the only two I can think of off the top of my head, but I hope this helps! -Siren =)

You're fine. My dad got hit hard once and had post-traumatic-stress-disorder. He avoided that particular highway for like...a year. The other day I spun out on a highway and I can't avoid it. Driving home I was all shaky and nervous. You just had a traumatic experience. You'll heal in time. Just keep reminding yourself that nothing's going to happen, and that it was a one-time thing. That's what I told myself today when I saw the marks my tires made in the snow and saw where I stopped, driving home. >.< You just have to convince yourself it's okay. It's fine to be freaked out for awhile. It'll heal. Trust me. I've been in accidents a few times. I hope this helps! -Siren =)

Okay, I sing opera and I have a three octave range full-voiced. Keep in mind that you might not be a soprano. It's totally normal for people to not be able to go high. I know someone who's more comfortable singing below the staff than in it. I'm more comfortable singing above the staff than in it. Lol.
What ever you do, do NOT force your voice to go higher than it can, or lower. Do fifth-slides. Like middle C to G, then back to C. Then go up a half-step and go C sharp-Gsharp-Csharp, then up another half step, etc...when your voice cracks, go one half step down, then go back up and try that note again. If it doesn't work, don't force it and go back down as low as you can without straining your voice. Relax into your low notes, don't force them. If they don't come out, stop. If you can't go as low as your normally can, take a break and drink some water. If you can't go low, you strained your voice going high.
Don't push your voice.
If you want more advice/help, feel free to contact me. I love to help people sing better - I sort of teach voice.
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)

I'm glad you like my advice! I'll do my best to help you. Lessee...
If I were you, I would not hook up with him again this friday. You went too far with him the first time and ended up attached - always a risk when hooking up with someone you're not in a relationship with (even if you do end up in a relationship). But you know that. I can understand that you "need play", lol - but think about it. If you hook up with him again, you'll prob'ly get reattached. I mean, I would. You have to have willpower in this situation. You may really want to hook up with him, but think about the affects it could have on you after the fact. You might have to get over him all over again. That was hard enough the first time, wasn't it?
I had the experience of having to get over someone twice. That wasn't fun. He broke up with me, broke my heart. We sort of half got back together again, and then he went "Hmm...nah." and broke it off completely. It sucked.
Just get together with him, talk to him, have a nice chat, catch up...but I wouldn't hook up.
If you're so intent on hooking up, though, you'll have to remind yourself the whole time that this is nothing, and that you're not going to get attached...however, realize that that might not work.
I don't mean to squish your hopes or anything, lol...but I really wouldn't hook up and risk myself the pain of more heartbreak/missing him/having to get over him all over again.
If you need/want more help, you can contact me again, or IM me (SirenCytherea) or e-mail me (DemonIre1024@hotmail.com), if you want. I'm on line pretty much every night.
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)

Hey, I'll take a look at your column, but I don't add everyone. Don't take it personally if I don't add you, okay? I'm picky about who goes on my favorites list.
-Siren =)

I hate to say it (no offense, guys), but a lot of guys are really dense as far as hints go. You might have to be straightforward about this. You don't need to make a huge scene, however, to get someone off your back. Just go up to him one day, and tell him you want to talk to him. Be gentle about letting him know that you don't like him in that way. Assure him that he's a nice guy, but you don't feel the same way about him that he does about you. Let him know gently that you'd like him to stop writing you notes and e-mail you.
If he doesn't let up, then you can get bitchy about it, lol. But for now, be nice and see where it can get you. Hope this helps. -Siren =)

It's perfectly normal to have dreams like that, and it does not, by any means, indicate that you are obsessed with cussing and sex. The two have nothing to do with each other, to begin with. Secondly, It's hormones. So you had sex on the subconscious brain. What's the big deal? Everyone who knows about it thinks about it at some point or another. Guys tend to think/talk about it more. It seems to be more socially acceptable for guys to talk about sex than it is for girls, which I think is stupid. Don't let what your friend said bother you. You're not obsessed just because you had ONE dream about ALMOST "doing it" with a guy. I mean, if anyone would be obsessed, it'd have to be your friend - she actually went through with it in a dream. You didn't. But anyway, dreams about sex do not indicate obsession. Don't worry about it. Hope this helps! -Siren =)

You need to tell him it's okay to tell you anything. I'm strongly against drugs, and my guy used to do weed. He told me only after I reminded him that he could tell me anything and I'd rather hear things from him than from other people. He also knows I don't want him keeping anything from me, and you need to tell your guy the same thing. If he doesn't know that, he needs to. Communication is a HUGE problem in relationships nowadays. What should you do? Tell him what you just told us. That finding out all that stuff from other people makes you mad. Just tell him everything, tell him how you feel, and what you want him to do - or not to do - in this relationship. No one's psychic, so you have to tell him how it has to be.
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)

You're normal, first of all. Periods, for YEARS will be irregular. Your cycle just hasn't regulated itself yet. My periods usually last between four and six days. It's supposed to be between three or five days, I think. But it's nothing to worry about. Just be happy when your periods aren't heavy and painful, lol. I hope this helps!
-Siren =)

I'm a laid-back 26 year old with a Psychology BA, starting my MA program, and working my way into the field as quickly as I can. It took me an extra Bachelor's degree (in vocal performance and creative writing) to figure it out, but I was put on this Earth to help, to heal, and to love.

I have made the decision to dedicate my life and career to helping others. I am here to do just that.

I've been a member since 2004, and since I signed up, I've gone through quite a lot and learned quite a lot from it. I'm here to give guidance where I had none; no one should have to go through the difficulties I went through alone.

Feel free to visit my website/blog, if you want to read my experience with domestic violence and my thoughts on it.

***While I do tend to answer mental health and other health-related or medicine-related questions, I am by NO MEANS a licensed physician or practitioner of any sort. Any and all advice I give for these questions is from my own experience or studies.***

If you need to get a hold of me quickly, my screen name on AIM is SirenCytherea. Just let me know you found me here.

I'm a strong believer in the idea that there are no stupid questions except the ones left unasked, so, please, keep an open mind, heart, and mouth.

Siren

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