Let me tell you something. If it doesn't make him happy that you don't want to do things that he wants you to, then he needs to go find a girl who will give him what he wants, because you are the one to decide what you are ready for and what you do. Don't do things to make him happy, go by what makes you happy too, or else you'll be miserable doing it while hes happy. This will test if your boyfriend is really a good one or not. You have to do him the favor by telling him that you aren't ready to take things further. Don't make excuses, tell him. If he doesn't accept it, and gets upset, then thats how you know that you need to get rid of him. Don't make it harder by making excuses not to and making happy, do this for yourself.



-TheTeenGirl

I know that you don't want an answer that advises you to not have sex, but if you go through with it, your friendshp/relationship with him will become a disaster. It truly will, if you aren't together, then why would you be "ready" for the next step? That next step is suppose to occur in a love relationship. What you are doing is friends with benefits. It's not a smart thing to do because for one: There are no rules or bounderies. So if he has sex with you, it's ok for him or you to go off and have sex with anyone else. And if you think you'll be able to trust him, think again. He will use the "just close friends" excuse. For two: Your feelings. If you have sex with this close friend and are worried about the relationship, then how are you going to survive having sex with him? You will never know what feelings you'll have afterwards, you will probably feel closer to him, and he is probably with you for the sex, because he can have it from you. I'm not saying that he doesn't care for your friendship, I'm saying that it is dangerous and wrong and hurtful to have sex in a friendship, it will not last. You are nervous and scared because not only have you never experianced it, but because you are only friends with the guy you want to have sex with. Compared to a sexual relationship, you hardly know each other, you can't talk to him about every sexual detail in your life because you aren't together. Thats what eases the pressure of sex, the fact that you know that you can tell this person anything about your sexual thoughts and feelings and bounderies with it.

-TheTeenGirl

You want to know how to look at the bright side when it comes to your boyfriend whose cheating on you? Sorry, you can't. Thats why kissing is so special in relationships, it separates you as his girlfriend, and another girl as his friend. He kisses you, he doesn't kiss other girls. If hes making out with other girls, then you are not his only girlfriend. If you let your boyfriend make out with someone, how could you trust? Is it even there? How far will you let him go until you stop trusting him that he won't go off and have sex with someone soon? What I'm saying is that your boyfriend is not suppose to be kissing other girls, his kisses should only be for you, or else you mean nothing to him except just another girl he likes. There is no way of trying to understand and accept that.

-TheTeenGirl

It's really brave of you to come out and admit to yourself that you feel this way about your boyfriend. I know it's hard to think about, but before you make any decisions, talk to him. Hes obviously noticing that something is wrong with you. Hes asking you if you are happy anymore, so I think you need to tell him everything you've typed to him. You said that you think you aren't making him as happy as you could be, why? You don't really know? Hes complaining? You did something wrong and now you feel like you can't make up for it? You have to think about it. If hes complaining, then I think likely he might be the problem. If you truly feel like you are doing the best you can and are a great girlfriend, then hes the problem. If there was something you had done wrong, then you have to explain to him that it hurt you just as much as it hurt him. You just have to talk to him, tell him what's on your mind so that he can help you feel better about this. So that he can tell you that you are doing a great job at making him happy if so. About your mixed feelings, sometimes there are times where you feel like you just don't know, so maybe you should try to give that sometime until you can decide.

-TheTeenGirl

This is a weird question to the point where I have no idea if this a joke or not. But, why would you wear a thong to be accepted? Because, if there are girls at your school wearing thongs and telling everyone how sexy you are, then you are called a slut, now it is a whole different story to guys. They love it when girls dress up slutty, but it isn't what girls are ment to do. They are not suppose to do this, they are suppose to set the guys straight and not be their barbie doll for them to dress up as they want you to. You need to be that one girl, even if it means being called a loser, to set an example that you are just as great and better than the other girls who wears thongs.


-TheTeenGirl

I highly doubt that you will be able to just let everything go and move on with your life. You've had a lot happen, and whether it upset you at the time or not, it's just hitting you now, and thats going to require professional help to fix this I think. It's withdrawing you from your social life, it's on your mind and disturbing you, I think you need to go see a counselor or seek help for this. If you need support with this, I'm here to help, I will do anything it takes to help you with keeping your life on track and keeping you happy.


-TheTeenGirl

Your best friend is just being sick to you. You're 100 percent correct that shes disrespecting you when it comes to her and her boyfriend having sexual contact with each other in front of you. But, you do need to start moving out, because you're both miserable with each other right now, which is normal because living with a friend is honestly no fun. You just get sick of each other eventually and it isn't what you thought. About moving in with your boyfriend, I don't know how old you are, but I'm pretty sure you're an adult at least. But, you should probably go ahead and move in with him, and have both of you go from there. I understand that you don't want to leave your family, but you are already moved out of their home, so I think it's alright to move somewhere else, because where you are now isn't working. You and your friend obviously need some space. You could always move in with your family, but I am guessing that you'd like to be getting on with your life, and the best way to do it is to go with your boyfriend, and then both of you can work the rest to get your own place. You should probably explain to your friend that you know it's time for you to leave, and that you are working on it the best that you can. If it's going to be a long time, then I suggest moving in with your family until you find a job and be able to get to your boyfriend. It sounds like your friend and her boyfriend need some alone time now, so you just have to accept that and start your life. If you need anymore help with this, just ask, I'd be glad to help you.



-TheTeenGirl

Your friend Lina is a little out of control in this. No matter what the situation may be, you are to stay on your family's side. No, I'm not saying if your cousin wants to beat Lina up, to help her beat her up. I'm saying that your friend is in the wrong, and you need to tell her that. Just let her know that you aren't going to to even consider taking her over your cousin. You know exactly how your friend is, so you need to let her know that you think shes wrong.


-TheTeenGirl

The girls your age are clueless about guys. They care for who they are seen with school, and if it's a kind gentlemen, then it isn't considered cool. They have to be good looking (not that kind boys aren't), the most popular, and the guy every girl wants. Why? Likely peer pressure. To look like you have such a great reputation because they once dated a guy who is an idiot that everyone likes. It goes both way almost equally to be honest. There are so many quiet nice girls, but guys won't be with her because of either her weight, or if his friends like the girl. This may not apply to you, but if a guy dates a girl his friends makes fun of him for, then likely he will dump her over that. But, let me tell you, those girls who run for the bad boys will learn their lesson when they end up in a marriage with one of those jerks. It will all pay off if they continue to do so. And it will pay off for you too, you'll have a great woman to marry, and you'll understand.

-TheTeenGirl

Kelsey needs to tell her friend that she needs to stop messing with her boyfriend. And she also needs to tell her boyfriend to tell her to knock it off when shes touching and flirting with him. Let Kelsey know that she just needs to talk to her friend, and not get angry and try to scream or fight with her. If her friend denies it that shes flirting with him, then she needs to tell the friend goodbye and no more friendship.


-TheTeenGirl

You need to dump this guy. I know that sounds hard to do, but he isn't being respectful to you at all. Hes giving you excuses non stop, telling you about girls sexually, and he lives away from you. This sounds like the end. The sign that should tell you that its time to end it is that he wouldn't tell you about who he was with and where, and that you both get into an arguement when you are upset over this whole thing that hes pulling. This is truly what you need to do, no more pouring your heart out, say goodbye and dump him.


-TheTeenGirl

You know that you are going to speak to him for sure. So, just remember that you have to find a way to talk with him when the time comes. I think that your cousin was just being a brat in a silly way. He probably didn't know you'd be upset, but you need to let him know that you really try hard, and that being told that you suck at everything isn't that funny to you. You really don't suck at everything, just know that, and he knows you don't suck at everything. Thats your first option, to talk to him. Your second is to say your apologys and when he does something, yell at him that he sucks at everything as a joke and see how he takes it. I know that may seem as bad advice, but it's like giving him a taste of his own medicine. More than likely, he'll probably take it as a joke as you are giving it. But, if you'd rather end the 'you suck' game, then stick with telling him your feelings.


-TheTeenGirl

Your friend sounds really rude if she actually considered going to the dance with Chris. I think you better go and talk to her about it. I know it seems impossible, like you won't be able to, but you have to find out if your friend is going to do this to you or not. Stop crying and go tell her how you felt when you heard about her thinking of going to the dance with him. You don't want to get yourself worked up until you know for sure that this is going to happen. If she decides to go, then you should probably tell her that if she goes, it means your friendship with her. So, you have to ask her to chose between Chris and you.



-TheTeenGirl

Well, you should probably turn to yourself even though it feels like you can't be your own best friend. There are a lot of people out there who are in the same position as you, and sometimes if you take that time to let it out to yourself or a counselor, or a friend, it could work out. And, if you don't really have a true friend at the moment, be your own, because sooner later, theres a time when you'll find someone to turn to. Whether it be a lover, a new friend, or a parent figure. It's really hard to not have someone, but you're the only one who knows you the best, and understands you the best. Confiding in yourself is like finding yourself and your deeper thoughts and feelings into life. And it's a pretty powerful thing to get to know that part of you, because a lot of people think they know, but theres always another part hiding. So when you have a moment where you need someone, ask yourself how you can make this better, and how you think you should be reacting on it.


-TheTeenGirl

What shes doing is wrong, just to let you know first off. She knows exactly whats wrong with the two of them talking is, shes just waiting for you to step up and tell her whats wrong, until then, shes trying to guilt trip you. This makes her have an excuse to talk to him, because you can't come up with a good reason. The wrong in the matter of them talking is the fact that they dated and in order for you two to continue your relationship is to have the trust. Now, what person would accept their partner to communicate with someone whom they just had a thing with? Nobody, no human on earth. But, the point is, that if shes removing the call history, thats the big sign that tells you something is going on. You need to say to her, "Maybe you don't see the wrong in it, but how would you feel if this had been going on the other way around?" And if she tells you she'd be ok, shes lying, and thats when you just need to end it with her. If shes not willing to just tell you the truth and to hurt you when she knows she is, then why reason with her? I remind you also, that shes going to have contact with this guy no matter what if they are working together. When shes asking you the question whats wrong, tell her that you are hurting him and hurting the relationship, because that is whats wrong, and her erasing the call history is whats wrong with it. If she doesn't care for those reasons, shes out.



-TheTeenGirl

Alright, I just looked over the answers, and half of them are wrong here. Just about everyone is saying 'if you trust him, you'll let him go.' No way, this isn't an issue on trust, this is him sleeping over with girls, and it shouldn't be done at all unless he is stranded and has nowhere else to go! Your boyfriend can have girls for friends, but not as sleep over buddies. That would be unacceptable to just about every girl other than the ones who seem to think that it's based on trust. That is pure torture. You need to tell him that you aren't going to tolerate that kind of behavior with him, you could lose a nights worth of sleep over this! This isn't about your lack of trust, it is about how far you will let him go until you say stop, and now would be the right time to say it to him.



-TheTeenGirl

Well, it's one thing to just be curious about it, but looking at photos and reading stories about it might be taking it a little far. I think that you need to just focus on something else when it comes to this. When you read about it a lot, your mind just starts unraveling and starts to think that it's ok for it to happen, and that it's not such a horrible thing. But let me tell you, rape is horrid, and people that are being raped are scared to death. It's not something you want to make a daily curiousity, it's like looking at at tragic part of life everyday, and I think you need to stop acting on this curiousity and find a new one.


-TheTeenGirl

Yes there is. I can explain this better through instant message, my screen name is Evanescence0o01. I'd be glad to help you with this.



-TheTeenGirl

I know that being rejected is a hard thing to face, but you can't run away from things because rejection might happen again. There is truly no other way to ask a guy out other than asking him. Does this guy know that you've been rejected? No. Does he know that you are scared of it? Probably not if you ask him. So why be scared, if he doesn't want to date you, then too bad for him. Believe it or not, there are tons of guys you'll go through until you get to the right one. You'll reject some guys, and some will reject you. But does that make you less of a person? Of course not. But it will if you just hide from it all of the time. Just open up a little more and at least have more of a conversation first. On the bus, talk to him. Ask him what grades hes usually making in school, ask him what he likes to do on his freetime. Just remember that you can't hide forever, so everytime you don't do something because rejection might be a possibility, then thats taking yourself out of the world. Nobody is perfect, everyone gets turned down on something.

-TheTeenGirl

Don't ask him out until you have the nerve to say a few things to him. It doesn't matter if you don't have a lot to say, you have to start somewhere, let him know that you are going to call him one day at school, and tell him what time, and then call him when the time comes. I know you're afraid of rejection, but you'll get nowhere if you stay scared and don't even say a word to him. Say hi, and ask him how his day as been so far. Jonathan won't pay attention to you if you don't call or talk to him first.

-TheTeenGirl

My name is Erin and I am now 18 years old. You may realize through out looking at my column, some of you love me and some of you flat out hate me. There's really no gray area with me I guess you can say.

I haven't given advice here in so long and it's only because I got caught up in life. But I'm more mature than I ever thought I could be.
So anyway I'm here again. It's been a long time, but I still love giving advice and still plan on it in the future.

Everyone should feel free to Private Message me for advice, I can be harsh, but I'm always trying to help someone by giving them the truth they need.

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