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have i overstayed my welcome?
i am currently living with ym best freind. been that way for a month and a half. recently her fiance came back from out of the country and is living there now too. well i have been looking for a job but in my small town, jobs are hard to find. i have looked everyday and everyplace and still nothing. but the past 2 weeks she and i have been jumping down each others throats. every little thing and one of us flips out. like she flipped b/c ravioli stained aplastic bowl and i put soap and water in it so it WOULDNT stain but it still did and hse said it was my fault. so its a constant thing. and watching her and her fiance, they run around the house making out and have no respect for me at all in teh house. they run around grabbing each others "private parts" for lack of better words. and i am fed up with them having no respect for me at all. and when i confront her about what is bothering me (them making out bothers me b./c my boyfreind is currently out of state with his family.) she gest all defensive and says "its my house, i will do what i want i dont care. when your in love you wont carew what others think." so i cant get anywhere b.c she will coem back with its her house. so i dont know what to do i am backed into a corner. i mean granted my boyfreind wants me to move in with him in new york with his family...but i am not sure i want to give up my family...what should i do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
You need to live somewhere else. This current arrangement is putting to much stress on yur friendship.
Once she starts with the "Its my house" business, its time to move on. Somehow. :)
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Your best friend is just being sick to you. You're 100 percent correct that shes disrespecting you when it comes to her and her boyfriend having sexual contact with each other in front of you. But, you do need to start moving out, because you're both miserable with each other right now, which is normal because living with a friend is honestly no fun. You just get sick of each other eventually and it isn't what you thought. About moving in with your boyfriend, I don't know how old you are, but I'm pretty sure you're an adult at least. But, you should probably go ahead and move in with him, and have both of you go from there. I understand that you don't want to leave your family, but you are already moved out of their home, so I think it's alright to move somewhere else, because where you are now isn't working. You and your friend obviously need some space. You could always move in with your family, but I am guessing that you'd like to be getting on with your life, and the best way to do it is to go with your boyfriend, and then both of you can work the rest to get your own place. You should probably explain to your friend that you know it's time for you to leave, and that you are working on it the best that you can. If it's going to be a long time, then I suggest moving in with your family until you find a job and be able to get to your boyfriend. It sounds like your friend and her boyfriend need some alone time now, so you just have to accept that and start your life. If you need anymore help with this, just ask, I'd be glad to help you.
-TheTeenGirl
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Even though it is "her house", she still should have more respect for you. She isn't being a very good friend. Try to tolerate it for now and see if she changes. If not, look into renting a apartment for yourself or moving in with another friend or family member. Hope my advice helps! ~Jenny
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WOW~ Well her saying ITS MY HOUSE, is going to be a non stop thing thats the only thing she can say to you, Considering it is her house... I understand how it makes you feel when the grab each other in front of you, but you really cant say anything, but i guess go in the other room, and contuining try to find a Job, But While being by yourself think about what your going to do with your boyfriend go or not go, i consider you take a little trip and see what you think, talk it over with your family and his and make sure the realationship is good and not on rocks b/c you dont want to get up there and Then be stuck up there b/c things didnt work out, and you see how hard it is to get a job.. So if you decide to go with him, Have him send you applactions and numbers to call for Job, before you get up there so you know you have something to look Forward to, better to get a head start then to start off late Right.. And for your Stay at the house, i guess just bite your toughe Remember shes helping you out by letting you stay untill you get a Job, But she should show you respect same goes for you, if it seems to be a big del with the bowls and the stains get $5.00 and go get your own little bowl, might sound funny, but at least it would save an fight... You can E-mail me at Sophia_Sorgente@hotmail.com......GOOD LUCK,let me know how everthings going
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WELL, IF you DECIDE TO STAY, you BETTER SUCK UP TO HER. IT DOESN'T MATTER TO THEM HOW you FEEL, BELIEVE ME! iM IN the same situation. do you pay rent? if so, then you should only voice your opinion if there is no compliance, than your screwed. your boyfriend's place is probably not going to be much different. you still have to put up with crap, except it would be your boy friends. i hope i was of some help to you.
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There are some things that are not clear here. Do you have a family in the town where you are living? If so, why don't you move back home with them for a while? Is there a problem here that makes it difficult for you to do this? If you can move back with them you should at least go back until you get back on your feet and get a job. Your right, you shouldn't go to New York and move in with your boyfriend and his family. It is really strange living with another family and it might interfere with the relationship you are developing with your boyfriend. You really will feel you have no privacy. You can't have a disagreement with your boyfriend w/o it feeling strange. It is usually not a good idea to do that. You do need to move out of the situation you are in. Your so-called best friend is not respecting you and your needs at all. She has no understanding of what roommates are about. If you ask (or let) someone move in with you, then you need to be ready to take his or her needs into consideration. Ok, so it is her house. Does she own this house? Or, is it simply that the lease is in her name. Are you paying rent? If your answer to the last two questions are yes, then you have as much rights as she does in the house. You are a tenant also. She is bullying you regardless of your answers to the questions. In either instance she can’t just throw you out in the street. That would be against the law. She would have to go to court and give you a 30-day warning. You might look into your tenant laws in your state. But, all of that should be done when you are completely desperate. If your not paying rent, then we are back to your finding someplace else to live. She isn’t being fair to you and she isn’t being a friend. She is a selfish person. Oh, and by the way…people don’t act like that in front of other people when they are in love. I‘ve had roommates before and they have been totally in love. I’ve never seen this before. They’ve not come out of their room for days, even weeks, but they don’t grab each other in front of other people. There is something wrong with that. I wish you didn’t have to endure it. I guess it simply boils down to…you need to change your living arrangements. I doubt, based on the information you’ve given, that she will be willing to do anything any different.
Good Luck!
LULABELLE
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It would probaly be best to choose the road that won't have you as stressed. You should just move to New York. If your friend has no care for your feellings at all and is constantly yelling at you, are they the best friend choice?
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