Gender:
FemaleLocation:
KansasOccupation:
House wife, Mother, Local LoonAge:
35Member Since:
July 15, 2006Answers:
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about
I'm a mother of 2 boys who are 13 months apart. Talk about a handful. I'm a wife to the best husband I could have ever dreamed of.I'm one of the very blessed.
I have Bipolar 1 Disorder. I hate taking all these medications and always going to doctors appointments, but life is too short to let mental illness get the better of me.
Often times life is a challenge, and nobody knows that better than me. I wake up wondering if this is going to be a day my illness overpowers my meds, and either sends me flying like a bat out of hell, or leaves me laying on the couch like a wet dish rag.
Thank all that is good in the world that I have an excellent support system at home.
I'm one of the lucky ones.
I'm honest, and that can either be a perk or s flaw. Depends on how you choose to look at it.
I like to see it as a perk, because it's better to hear the truth than to be told candy coated bullshit.
advice
okay i need some help, and if you're gonna be mean, dont bother making this worse.
im really worried about my life right now, there are lots of things that are messed up, but the biggest thing im worried about is having a boyfriend and relationships.
so im 16/f, and a sophomore. i have a lot of friends, and im really social and everything, but some things just havent happened to me yet, and i dont know what to do to change it.
so im kind of feeling left out from all my friends, and this is embarrasing to come out with, but i havent had a real boyfriend like ever, and i havent even been kissed. i kind of feel pathetic, and ive been trying to get advice but people keep saying its okay and its normal, but i know its not. so if youre going to tell me that, dont bother. i feel really pathetic because im so good with helping my friends with relationships, but all of my guy friends think of me as friends.
im just starting to feel really down about myself, i know im not ugly but im not the prettiest girl out there. i just dont get whats wrong with me. people who dont even deserve to have any friends get all the guys out there, and i just dont get it. im a good person, and i dont get why it feels like im getting punished. im not a wierd girl or a nerd, im just normal with regular friends. all of my friends get boyfriends and i just dotn think its fair because i feel pathetic around them.
im just so sick of going to movies with them when they have boyfriends and im sitting there. i want to feel good about myself for once. i honestly dont know what im asking for advice for, but i just need someone to help me. i dont want to hear this is normal, or that i have no reason to worry. i actually want to go to a dance with a boy that likes me, and go to the movies and everything with someone that cares for me. someone just help me pleaseeee. i just need to know what to do. :D
Step one is to stop feeling like you need a guy in your life to make you feel good about yourself. You got to feel good about yourself because you like YOU.
Think of it this way- You feel down, pathetic, odd, abnormal, and I'd wager jealous of your friends' relationships.What kind of vibe does that put out there? Feeling so down on yourself IS obvious to others, including guys.
So work on trying to feel better about yourself, excluding guys from that equation. Boys do not equal happiness.
After that, then work on trying to find a guy who isn't already established as your friend. Of course all of your guy friends think of you as "friend." That is what you are.
Seek someone who you find interest in that you can get to know.
"Hmmm. That Fred guy seems pretty nice. I wonder if he's the right fellow for me? I guess I'll go up and spark a conversation with him, and see if he is someone I'd click with."
Spark conversation, "Hi, how ya doing? Say, what kind of movies do you like? My friends and I are going to such and such a flick on Friday night if you are interested in joining."
ygs-29/f
This is really long. but it would be easyer if you knew the whole story
Ok so i have this awsome boyfriend and i like him. ALOT. i mean we have talked on the phone for 6 hours and never had nothing to talk about. but the things is. he ALWAYS wants to hang out and he ALWAYS wants to talk on the phone. and on myspace hes always emailing me. like around 20-25 emails a day. and he bought me a necklace and i dont really want to take it because i dont know if i can stay with him. im a very different girl then what he thinks. he only knows one side of me,the party girl/friendly/prepy side. because hes really shy. he doesnt know that i just get really sad and it takes me a few days to get out of it. or sometimes i go days without really talking to my boyfriend. Or that when i play soccer, i dont like to talk to people before or after.(when i say people i mean guys) and i like him but hes not the type of guy people picture me with. i mean i like him but i think hes looking for a more serious relationshit. and im looking for a fun, long-relationship. and we were friends before if that helps any.
Please help. i dont know what to do!
=( Confused and cramped
The best serious relationship is a fun, long relationship. ;-)
What you should do is open up to him. Don't just let him know one side of you- introduce him to ALL sides of you. That's a part of the whole "getting to know one another on a deeper level."
So you like him A LOT. Sounds like he feels the same about you. Come out and say to him that, yes, you have sad spells, you like to talk to other guys (I assume you mean in the friendly manner), if you feel he's smothering you with emails and such at times, say so. Etc., etc.
Just because he's not the type of guy others picture you with, doesn't mean a thing. Your relationships in this life aren't up to others, and your life isn't a soap opera drama to entertain the masses.
ygs-29/f
Did the Red Hot Chili Peppers really do a concert with only socks covering their junk? I've heard that numerous times but never knew if it was true.
Yes.
They did.
It's been a while back, though.
Like, back when I was a teen.
ygs-29/f
15/f
ok so i wanna be a pediatrition when im older and im going to college at the university of texas. i want to be that because i love kids helping them and interacting. plus its a good paying job, and i've wanted to be that since i was 11.
But theres a problem, i also have a STRONG interest in wanting to be an intern at a teen magazine (teen vogue, teen cosmopolition, model like magazines) but wouldnt that mean having to move to new york? or something. i mean i wanna go out of the country to help with a fashion show i WANT to do that.
if i were leaning more towards that, could i still go to the university of texas?
what are yalls opinions or ideas.
help please????
I can't tell you what you want to be, nor do I know what school you should attend.
I will say that base your career choice on what you find more FULFILLING, not so much based on which pays better.
If you work at a job you absolutely love, you never really work a day in your life. AND you get paid for not working.
Make sense?
Maybe that will help you with your decision.
ygs-29/f
16/f. I have a very strange boyfriend of 3 months. For one thing, he told me that he cheated on me today..He said that while I was away on vacation for 4 days..his old friend came over his house to do "science homework" but they ended up doing much more than that. At first, he didn't tell me what it was they did. I got upset because he cheated on me (in general). But then, later on, when I seemed to have cooled down, he told me he engaged in oral sex with that girl. I was shocked..and I kept on wondering why he would tell me that in the first place. But then, he got all upset about it. And started telling me "I love you, I love you and I'm sorry" and all that other crap. I don't know what to do. Usually, I'm too nice and forgiving. What would you do? :( He's my age.
I'd tell him to take a hike.
Here is why:
3 month relationship, and he loves you? 3 months isn't that awfully long, you know. "I love you" is so easily thrown around. I mean, is he saying it because he REALLY feels this way, or because he's trying to feed you a line?
3 month relationship, and the first time you leave town for vacation he can't control himself? And he can't even practice self control for a whopping 4 DAYS?
3 month relationship, and he's already done something to break your trust? Trust which is so much harder to reestablish?
I don't get why he just up and told you. Could be he was told by someone else "Either you tell her or I will."
Either that or he could be wanting you to think "Gee. Is he cheating because I'm not having/giving him enough sex?"
And what do you mean by "Could he be lying?" You mean making the whole story up?
Only an idiot would tell his girlfriend a fabricated story such as this...
I'd play the "better safe than sorry" card right about now and bow out of this relationship.
ygs-29/f
okay.
So, I'm feeling a little bored, and I want to do something.
So I want another facial piercing.
And I'm torn between my septum (the middle of your nose sperating the two nostrils) or my Bridge ( the top of the nose between the eyes)
which one do you think I'm better suited for?
http://s2.photobucket.com/albums/y11/Zeilay/?action=view¤t=cofdhjg.jpg
(that's me,lol)
Bridge is my vote, as long as the jewelry isn't too big. If it's too big, I think it will take away from your eyes.
Septum is good, but with the little Marylin you got there, it would make your upper lip seem... cluttered? I don't know if that's the right word, but you catch my drift. ;-)
ygs-29/f
My mother seems to have control issues and I don't know if she is mentally ill. I am an adult, I do live with my parents but I am working on moving out, actually getting married. She says the most hurtful things to me. Today, she was suggesting that I go on a vacation with my guy friends, I told her I don't know; he is saving for my engagement ring and I am saving for my house. She was still encouraging me, saying, "you will have enough for a house someday." I was like I am saving for a couple of years not some day. She was like, buying a vacation wont affect it. She looked up how much it cost and my boyfriend we there. he waid maybe, we were thinking of spliting down the middle-both paying our own way. She told me I should just pay the whole thing being I got money back from the tax return. I told her I cannot affort to do both tickets. She was mean. Well anyway, she always goes crazy when I disagree with her. She was always a little mean but now she is so difficult. Could she be mentally ill?
Maybe she is desperately trying to encourage you to go out and live a little and gets frustrated if her ideas don't strike you as wonderful?
Maybe she REALLY likes this guy you have chosen, and is thinking she's helping you to get closer to one another?
That doesn't make her mentally ill. It makes her Mom.
Like Razhie says, if she shows signs of not being able to competently care for herself, then I'd be concerned about her mental health.
In the meantime, if you and boyfriend plan to go on the vacation and split the bill, why does she have to know that? Just say, "Ok Mom" and go on. She won't know he paid half unless you tell her.
It's not lying, but it's skirting the truth a bit to keep her from getting upset.
ygs-29/f
I found out last week i was pregnant, I have been with the same person for 3 months but at the end of january i slept with my ex, so my boyfriend thinks theres a chance that the baby isnt his. I got my period in february but it was late and when i took a pregnancy test it was negative it didnt come up positive until the first week of march. so if it was my ex boyfriends wouldnt the test come up positive sooner?
Well, this is what you need to do.
You need to find an Obstetrician and set your first appointment. OB appointments are VERY important.
They will figure your estimated DOC (Date Of Conception) if you ask them to.
Your estimated DOC will give you a good idea of who the father is.
Contrary to popular belief, if you take a pregnancy test too early, you run the risk of false negative. False negatives are far more common than a false positive. False positives happen, but are rare.
The test can only get an accurate result if enough of the pregnancy hormone is present in your urine.
That's why I always say, if you are a teen, wait until you are AT LEAST 2 weeks late.
ygs-29/f
I like this guy and a few of my friends and I go to his house alot. We've been going for almost a month now. But everytime a certain person calls his phone(I think it's his ex) he won't tell her that I'm there. He'll say the others that are there, but not me. And when I ask him about it he just says that the person would get mad if I was there. Anyways to figure out a way to talk to him about it without like complaining?
Ask him, "So.... You are embarrassed by me, then?"
Don't jump to conclusions about who is calling. You THINK it's his ex. Maybe it's his mom. Or his grandma. Both of those people would probably find it upsetting that he has his girlfriend over...
ygs-29/f
Hi, my name's Rae. I'm 18 years old, female, and I'm of 100% Korean decent. I have the most amazing fiance, Christian. He's 19, male, and super Irish (He even has red hair!). Anyways, the point that I'm trying to get at is that we're obviously different nationality wise. We're in an interracial relationship and a lot of people seem to be bothered by it! I honestly don't understand what's so wrong with us. We love eachother and I don't think your ethnicity or skin color have anything to do with it. So, I was wondering what kind of opinions any of you have about this subject matter. All advice is welcome, but please be serious and honest. Thank you!
My opinion?
Who cares what others think?
If they think something is wrong with it, then that's their own folly.
I don't think it's right to slap racial boundaries on love.
Are you guys bothered by it?
Do you think there's something wrong with it?
That is all that matters.
Not what THEY think.
It's your life to live and be happy with, not that one couple who gave rude stares and behind the hand whispers in Walmart.
ygs-29/f
My friend has vouchers for a day spa next weekend and has asked me to go with her. Recently I've had to cancel on her a few times and we've been drifitng apart so we decided it would be a good opportunity to catch up. I said I would but then remembered that my boyfriend was planning on taking me to the same spa for our anniversary in a couple of weeks. I wasn't going to tell my boyfriend that I was going with my friend so as not to ruin it for him but I felt too guilty so I did. He said I could go with my friend and he'd think of something else for our anniversary but I know he's disappointed about it.
Should I go and risk upsetting my boyfriend or let my friend down again?
Yes. Sounds like you need to go with your friend. You've canceled on her before, don't do it to her again.
If going to this spa was something boyfriend really had his heart set on, there's no reason you can't go both times.
I mean, really. It's a spa... You can never get in too much relaxing... ;-)
ygs-29/f
i'm 15/m
what do you do wen the girl you like is your bestfriend and she likes you back but evrey time you ask her out she tell's you no???
You do nothing. What can you do? Really?
I'd wager that she doesn't want to risk ruining your friendship.
Yep. I been there, done that, lost my best friend out of the deal.
ygs-29/f
15/f
ok so you no how you have the circle and then your nipple? well my "circles" are like... diffrent sizes? is that normal haha? and one boob is like bigger then the other.. i dont think anyone can notice it but im worried that my boyfriend will, like when were doing stuff?
so do i still have growing to do or is it going to be like that forever?
Any guy I know doesn't examine breasts like critic at an art exhibit.
I mean, they aren't going to stand there with their finger placed smartly on their chins thinking, "Hmmm... Very interesting... One appears to be slightly larger, and the 'circles' don't seem to share the same circumference..."
It's more like, "BOOBS! SWEET! I SEE BOOBS!" *insert drool here*
You are only 15. They may still have some growing to do yet. Don't fret.
ygs-29/f
i have allergies alright. lately ive been having a bad cough. its only bad when i sleep. every night im up 1-3 hours coughing. I think it might be a habit. I drink tons of water and there is alot of gunk in my chest. I take my perscription pills and other pills to help stop the cough. Guess what? It isnt working. I'm to the point where i cough so badly i throw up. please help me. i havent been able to sleep for a week.
15 years/girl
If you have mucus in your chest, it seems that when you lay down at night, that's when it tries to break up and come out.
I deal with that, too.
Things I find helpful:
Sleeping propped on pillows. Laying flat makes it worse.
When you start coughing up crud, standing in a steamy bathroom (or I just get in the shower with the water as hot as I can handle) because the steam seems to help break it up and bring it out.
Don't swallow it back down. Spit that junk out! Keep some tissue by your bed, and when you cough it up, spit it into the tissue. Anything, just spit it out.
ygs-29/f
15/f
i am still a virgin, but i know i am ready to have sex. also i really like the guy i plan losing it too. he is really sweet, and never puts any pressure on me to do anything i dont want. i really like this guy, and i wanna get wit him. do you think its gonna be just a hook up or could it lead to the start of our relationship. i have made it VERY clear that i dont want this to be a hook-up, but what do you think can make me stop thinking about this subject and ease my state of mind about this
Serious relationship first.
You don't want the guy to see you as a hook-up, and you don't want him to feel this is a sex-based relationship. So worry about starting the relationship and getting to really know one another first.
ygs-29/f
15/f I really need advice on how to make more friends. I'm kinda shy. I don't know how people make friends and I don't know what to do. I've tried all I could but I'm always nervous about "sounding cool" when i talk to people, I run out of things to say, and it's just very awkward and uncmfotable for me. Everyone's in some kind of clique and i don't fit in anywhere. How can I be better at socializng? How do you make friends?
Don't try to "sound cool." That means you have to put too much thought into what you say, how you act. That's why it's always way easier to just be yourself.
Talk about what interests you. That's how you figure out if you have something in common with the other person. If you share an interest, you will have plenty to talk about.
Don't try to go up and socialize with a group of people- try to befriend one person out of a group. If you and the other person click, they will introduce you to their friends.
ygs-29/f
I don't even know what I am asking, I just needed to be able to turn somewhere and speak my mind.
I've been having the hardest time trying to fine something that makes me happy. I've cried myself to sleep for the past two weeks. I have thought about killing myself. I hate school, and I used to love it. Dance, the one thing I used to find comfort in, is the last thing I want to do. My parents tell me all of our financial problems, and they don't get along anymore. Every day I go to school, I put an act on and pretend everything is okay. In fact, I am so good at that that I can't even be normal. None of my friends know that I'm so upset. Nobody knows. I am seriously making myself sick. People tell me all their trivial problems and say things like "MY LIFE SUCKS" or "I'VE HAD A TERRIBLE DAY!" when they have NO idea. And I would like more than anything to scream at the top of my lungs that I am mentally sick. I don't know what I should do. I'm seriously a mess and nobody knows.
If you read this, thanks. And sorry that it didn't have a purpose, I just needed to say something.
Well, let me tell you. Your parents' financial problems are not something they should be discussing with you. They are not "our" problems, they are "their" problems.
Yah, they are obviously telling you and causing you worry. There is nothing you can do, it is not your problem, so try to let that weight go off your shoulders.
What I think you should do? You should sit your parents down and tell them what is going on in your head. They can't help you fix the problem if they don't know there is one. Even if you make hints at having a problem, they probably can't see it, because they are wrapped up in their own right now. You need to MAKE them see it by SPEAKING UP.
I'd wager that all the problems at home are bringing you down. Your parents may not realize that you are being put in the middle of their problems- financial AND marital. That's not fair to you.
Suggest to them that you ALL attend family counseling TOGETHER. For your sake.
Why? Because they may be having their problems, but your problems come first. You are their child.
If they are unwilling to do that, then they need to help you seek counseling for yourself.
ygs-29/f
is 7th or 8th grade too young to have sex?
also, is it possible to have like dry sex with your clothes on?
My opinion? Yes. It is. Way too young.
Shoot. When I was in 7th and 8th grade, hallway hand-holding was a BIG deal.
I'm talking BIG.
Ah. Being a grown up, I will never understand this desire to grow up so fast that seems to effect younger and younger kids all the time. :-/
Live and enjoy your youth while it lasts. You have an entire life ahead of you to HAVE to be grown up, mature, and responsible.
But if you chose to do it anyway, be sure before you do ANYTHING you educate yourself on risks of pregnancy, risks of STDs, and how to prevent them.
ALWAYS use a condom, because you deserve to protect yourself.
Also, let me leave you with this fact:
If you have to ask if that age is too young for sex, then it is, and you aren't ready.
ygs-29/f
I was just wandering if anyone knows why your balance would be off. I have been this way for such a long time & I am getting sick of it! Being clumsy is one thing, but, I can just be standing in one spot or walking normally & just literally start tipping over! My balance is way off! Any input on this would be helpful! Thanks.
Get your ears checked.
If something is out of kilter in your ears, it can affect balance and cause dizziness.
That may not be the problem, but it's worth looking into.
ygs-29/f
hi i am sort of embaressed of my parents and relatives. i am having a bat mitzvah in a couple weeks and all my friends have to see my relatives. any ideas to make me not embarressed and more confident?
Well, I was never embarrassed of my parents, but I have relatives who embarrass me.
Talk about my high school graduation... They call my name to receive my diploma... out of all the kids, MY kin stands up and screeches, hoots, hollers, cat calls, you name it.
But they really just did it to show me how proud they were of me.
Listen. Pretty much everyone has at least one relative who is embarrassing. Yes, I'm sure your friends have family like that, too.
Try to let it roll off your back. Laugh it off.
They don't mean to be embarrassing. That's how I deal. It's worked for years without number.
This is a big day for you. ENJOY IT. Rather than getting embarrassed, keep in mind, "Boy, I'm glad my family loves me enough to come and celebrate this day with me."
ygs-29/f