|
humorist-workshop
I need advice
My mother seems to have control issues and I don't know if she is mentally ill. I am an adult, I do live with my parents but I am working on moving out, actually getting married. She says the most hurtful things to me. Today, she was suggesting that I go on a vacation with my guy friends, I told her I don't know; he is saving for my engagement ring and I am saving for my house. She was still encouraging me, saying, "you will have enough for a house someday." I was like I am saving for a couple of years not some day. She was like, buying a vacation wont affect it. She looked up how much it cost and my boyfriend we there. he waid maybe, we were thinking of spliting down the middle-both paying our own way. She told me I should just pay the whole thing being I got money back from the tax return. I told her I cannot affort to do both tickets. She was mean. Well anyway, she always goes crazy when I disagree with her. She was always a little mean but now she is so difficult. Could she be mentally ill?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Maybe she is desperately trying to encourage you to go out and live a little and gets frustrated if her ideas don't strike you as wonderful?
Maybe she REALLY likes this guy you have chosen, and is thinking she's helping you to get closer to one another?
That doesn't make her mentally ill. It makes her Mom.
Like Razhie says, if she shows signs of not being able to competently care for herself, then I'd be concerned about her mental health.
In the meantime, if you and boyfriend plan to go on the vacation and split the bill, why does she have to know that? Just say, "Ok Mom" and go on. She won't know he paid half unless you tell her.
It's not lying, but it's skirting the truth a bit to keep her from getting upset.
ygs-29/f
]
Nothing you've mentioned sounds like mental illness to me. It sounds more like she is getting old, and that you are very ready to move out.
Be concerned if she makes unwise decisions for herself and compromises her safety or finacial situation. Anger and bad advice does not a mental illness make, just a flawed human being of a mother.
EDIT:
You cannot change her. Period. You can only try to get help, for herself, and for yourself.
If she is becoming violent, get help from a conselor, a socail worker, a relgious leader, or a trusted member of the family, to help her realize her behavoir is not okay. You might also want to speak to a nurse or counselor who specializes in aging. They could look at her behavoir with an more educated eye and give you an idea of what is actually going on.
By the by, we read your question as you ask it, not your mind. If there is physical violence, you should mention that. It's kind of relevant when talking about someone's mental health.
Also, what you've done here is ratings abuse. 1's should only be given for advice you intend to also file an abuse report on. I would suggest you rate in accordance with Advicenators rules (find them here [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)) before a moderator notices.
]
More Questions: |