about

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

[9/2/08] [5/7/08] [16/7/08] [23/9/09] [28/5/10] [29/5/10] [3/6/10]

Laura/22/England



Facebook
Forum

advice

The other day, I had asked to go to the bathroom during class, and my teacher had said yes. After I went to the bathroom, I noticed that my locker was open. When I went to close it, I noticed that the binder I needed for the class I was in was still in my locker, meaning that in my hurry to get to class, I had grabbed the wrong binder (my locker is right across from the restrooms). I got my binder, along with a textbook, and went back to class. Evidently my teacher thought that I had lied about going to the bathroom and had gone to my locker instead. He was angry with me (everyone was staring). I felt horrible because my favorite teacher thought I was a liar. After class, he apologized for seeming harsh, and he told me that he wasn't mad and he wasn't giving me a detention. Somewhat relieved, I wished him a merry Christmas and left. I still can't help but worry about
it. I feel like I unintentionally have hurt him and myself, and that he hasn't fully forgiven me for his idea of a crime. What should I do?
(Sorry it's a bit long...)

You've told him the truth, so just put it to the back of your mind. Maybe he did shout at you at the time, but he did apologize for it. You never know, he could have been having a bad day and that's why he was angry at you for something quite minor. Remember, teachers are human too. Don't let it stress you out. If he didn't care, he wouldn't have said sorry - so at least you know he didn't mean it. and that's a good thing to know.

[view]


i'm 18 years and done with school now im on holiday, my parents don't let me go anywhere even to the mall to hang out with friends, is this normal? am i not old enough to be let out on my own

Technically, you're an adult, so you are old enough.. but if you live under your parents roof, you have to live under their rules. They sound over protective of you, which I understand from your point of view can be annoying.
Talk to them about it - try to come to an agreement. For example, ask them if you can go out but ask them to give you a time to be home by. and while you are out, call/txt them to let them know you are safe and sound. and if they let you out, don't abuse it, or you'll only ruin their trust for you.
Good luck with trying to reason with them.

[view]


Hi everyone!!!I wish you a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year!!!!!thank you for your words of advice and I'm very happy to belong to this website!!!!kisses!!!:)

Merry Christmas to you too, sweetie! Hope you have a lovely time :)

[view]


Okay, so. I promised my bf I'd send him some of my private stuff. I only promised because he sort of forced me into promising but then I said it was no big deal. So I told him I would send it to him by the end of the day. But it turns out that things went wrong that day and I ran out of time to send it to him. I was gonna text him a sorry but then he called me a bitch for not sending it. How should I react!?

Not only did he force you into doing something you didn't want to do, he insulted you after.
That's NOT how a boyfriend should act towards you. Does he insult you or make you do things you aren't so sure about on a regular basis?
If I were you, I'd have strong words with him about how his behaviour is unacceptable - it's up to YOU what you do and what you send him. and if he doesn't like it, or keeps on at you to do things you don't want to do, to put it nicely, tell him to **** off and find someone who treats you well.

[view]


I'm thirteen with a girlfriend, but I've never made out with anyone but she has, Im not sure what to do. Can you help me?
Male
Age:13

Hey, thanks for inboxing.
Everyone worries about their first kiss. but once you've done it, you will wonder why you stressed about it in the first place!
Here's a few tips:
* Just relax (kissing comes naturally, I promise)
* Go slow - rushing will make it wet and sloppy
* Start by parting your lips (not too much!) and take one of her lips (top or bottom) inbetween yours (she should respond by doing the same thing) this gives you your basic kiss and from there, if you both want to, you can explore further by frenching. I just found this guide for you, it's really good at explaining:
http://www.wikihow.com/Kiss#The_French_Kiss

Remember - don't panic. and just go with the flow. :)

[view]


am on a diet but yesterday I have a bag of baked cheetos!! did this ruin my progress?

Yesterday I ate some baked cheetos and then I ate some more and ate the whole bag, the bag was big. Now I feel bad for eating them and I was eating healthy before I ate them. I just want to lose at least 15 pounds. Ive been on a diet for 4 days. Do I have to start my diet over today?

Just carry on as normal and accept the fact you slipped up. It's no biggie. Everyone does different things when they diet - some people allow themselves to have the odd treat now and again, whereas others are much more strict.
If you don't want to have the odd treat (obviously not going over the top!) then don't allow unhealthy foods to be around you. Remind yourself of your goal (cut out pictures of your ideal body and stick them places so you'll remember, use post it notes, whatever it takes to remind you)
Are you exercising as well as eating healthy? If you're not, to make yourself feel better about eating them, do a work out.. if you already do exercise, do a longer one.
Good luck!

[view]


Do condoms always work? can they rip?

They aren't 100% effective - meaning yes, they can rip/fall off.. Mainly due to not putting them on properly. If you're worried about condoms, double up with contraceptives (I don't mean 2 condoms at once - that gives them more chance of ripping since they rub against each other) but check out other things, like the pill, etc.
Also, be careful how you store your condoms - you don't want them getting hot and squashed in a wallet.. you will get a leaflet inside the box of condoms to explain everything anyway.

[view]


ok i have quite a few questions like 1.i have a really bad pain in by lower back i don't actually know what sort of pain it is. 2.i have been vomiting uncontrollably.3.my tempratures been sky high.3.down below hurts when i pass urine i went t the doctors and they ruled out a kidney infection. please help soon!!!!!!!!!! i am 13 yeas old.

What.. so the doctor has ruled out a kidney infection and that's it? They're not finding out what's wrong?
Get whoever takes care of you to take you to hospital to be treated there. When it comes to your health, don't mess about. Don't forget, it's such a busy time of year at the moment, so get it sorted out whilst you still can.
Noone here will be able to tell you what it is just from reading your symptoms - lots of things have the same symptoms. You need a thorough diagnosis.
I hope you have a speedy recovery.

[view]


I just started dating this guy like a week and a half ago, and his birthday is right around Christmas. We've been friends since the start of the school year, but I don't know if I'm supposed to get him a present...? We are only 14, and not very serious yet. Any advice? Do I need to get him something, and if so, what are some ideas? Thanks.

If I was in your position, I would. Nothing huge, but still, it's the thought that counts.
You know him better than us.. what does he like?
If you really aren't sure, then get him a card and bake him some nicely decorated cookies (or whatever food he likes) Thought would have definitely gone into make him a present AND it's food - you can't go wrong with food for a guy ;)

[view]


Everytime my boyfriend fingers me now, it hurts reallly bad ): It never used to hurt up until a couple weeks ago when it hurt so bad that it was a little swollen. I dont know what is causing it to hurt but I want it to stop. It dosen't hurt when we have sex though so thats the confusing part. Anyone know what could be causing this?

Could be a few reasons:
Are you wet enough?
Is he being rough at all? Does he have sharp skin/fingernails? It doesn't take much to cut/irritate the vagina..
My advice would be to refrain from foreplay for a while (to allow any cuts to heal if there are any) and see if it hurts with your own hand - if it doesn't, you'll know it's him, but if it hurts when you do it too, go to the doctor and explain it hurts during foreplay. There's no need to suffer with it. :)

[view]


ok i haven't had my period yet but i have a question. When ur having ur period and your swimming, what do you wear- pads of tampons so u won't leak?

You can't go swimming with a pad - not only is it really unhygienic, it would just lose it's stick and would soak up the pool water, making it really obvious. A tampon is the way to go. :)

[view]


Okay so my mom is all old fashion and doesn't let me do anything. But I really want to dye my hair. She says it will damage my hair so I'm like FINE whatever! So then I found out about dying my hair with kool-aid but she still wont give in I'm soooo mad about it. So what should I do I'm 12 I'm not a child anymore!

You're mum's being strict with the matter because hair dye can damage your hair because of the chemicals in it - not to mention the risk of having an allergic reaction.

Talk to her about vegetable dyes (they're natural and don't have chemicals, meaning they're safe) I've used them before and I have to say, I prefered them to all the other hair dyes in the market.. You could always get her to speak to a hair dresser to discuss vegetable dyes, so she can see for herself they are safe.

I wouldn't bother with the kool aid idea - it will last a few days at best and you have to actually sleep with it in your hair. Hassle!

Or perhaps come to an agreement, for example, if you do well in a certain school subject, your reward can be colouring your hair.. or maybe as a birthday/Christmas present.

..However, if she still says no, you're just gonna have to grin and bear it - the more you go on and on about it, the less she will want to let you do it.
Good luck though, sweetie!

[view]


i have really thick hair, is there any way to make straightening it not as long so i can get up later but still have time to make it stick straight?

Urgh, this is exactly my problem. My hair is thick and curly and I like it straight most days.
The only answer is to get some decent straighteners (GHD's - can't beat them!) and do some the night before.
Usually, I try to wash my hair in the evening/night (if you use conditioner too, it makes straightening quicker) and blow dry after towel drying.
This way, if you can't be bothered to straighten it that night, when you wake up, your hair will be smoother and easier to manage.
Also, try out some hairstyles where you don't need to straighten it all, but still feel comfortable. My hair's pretty long so sometimes when I don't have an extra hour and a half in the morning to straighten it from scratch, i'll do a side plait, or loose pigtails, but straighten my fringe and short layers.

Have you looked into getting it straightened professionally at the salon? You need healthy hair for this, because it's chemicals which keep your hair straight until it grows out - you can also buy these kits in the shops, but if you decide to, make sure you seek professional advice so you don't ruin your hair.

Have fun experimenting!

[view]


i had sex and i dont wannabe pregnant but i had it about 4 weeks ago and lately ive been feeling weak (nothing new) and weird:( does anyone know how i can like feel on my stomach and see if im pregnant? i just got home from a physical and i dnt want it to be a surprise when i get the results:""( help me:"(

Have you had your period?
Just get a pregnancy test if you're worried so much, it's the only thing that's actually going to put your mind at ease, instead of waiting for your physical results to come back.
Please, please, practise safer sex in future, so you can enjoy it without the worry.

[view]


my dog at a chocolate
peanut butter m and m what do i do?

If it was just 1, it should be fine. Dogs will eat most things if they get their paws on it! Just keep a closer eye in future :)

[view]


well i haven't gotten my period for about a month or 2 . and im kind of scared :/ , i haven't had sex . im still a virgin . but is it possiblee too get pregnant in the shower ; HELP ! ! !

So did you have ANY sexual contact in the shower? If you didn't, then you can't be pregnant.
How old were you when you started your period? Sometimes they take a while to regulate. Other things can stop them, such as a change in your diet or stress.. so stop stressing for a start :P

[view]


Hi everyone, sorry if this may be alittle gross; I'm just curious as to why.


Ok, 19/f; the past couple of days my vagina has smelled like fish. I take a shower/bath everyday, and I clean with non scented soap. So I know its not my cleaning habits.

I noticed that it does this when me and my boyfriend have sex; like a couple of hours later it'll do it; condoms or not.

When I am sitting down, and I open my legs, I can smell it. It's really strong. It doesn't burn, or itch, and it doesn't last that long;

Any tips?

Thanks!



& I learned a couple of years ago, that when I eat fish; that it makes me smell; so I stopped eating fish; Wednesday&Today I had some crab meat, but idk if that has anything to do with it either;

Is my fishy smell normal?

Maybe you might have an infection, possibly Bacterial Vaginosis (BV) as apparently, it's more noticable after sex.
It's not about hygeine, some people get these things from being TOO clean - don't forget, your vagina is a self cleansing organ, so putting ANY soap down there isn't the greatest idea. Just simply use water and don't douche.. it upsets the vagina's natural flora.
I suggest you make an appointment with your Doc, to see if you need any medication to make it go away.
and as for eating fish and making you smell, I've never personally heard that one before, so I Googled it out of curiosity and found that other people also smell after eating fish, especially crab meat.. I don't know how true that is.. but maybe give that a mention to your doc, too. :)

[view]


Well in P.E every Friday we have to run laps outside so one day me and my friend were jogging and this crazy lady was standing at this one end of the field and when we were going past her she said "hey" and we like glanced at her and started walking fast then she said "you guys are so pretty your doing great loo at you yeah go gO GO!!! so we started running then the next Friday we went out there she was there again so when we went buy her she said "hey i remember you guys my old buddies BFFs for ever whoooooooo!!! keep up the pace" and she was there the week after that and that and that so she is really starting to weird us out oh and she looked about 48 years 41 ? i don't know but what do you think we should do next time tell someone???

Is she on school property, or do you run in public places?
If it's school property, definitely tell your P.E teacher because she shouldn't be there.
She does sound a little weird, maybe it's her way of trying to be funny? Drunk? Who knows.
She doesn't exactly sound like a threat to you, but if it's weirding you out like you say it is and putting you off running in P.E, then mention it to your teacher anyway. Maybe he/she can see it for themselves.

[view]


hello, what makes a straight boyfriend go to a gay pub with his gay mate? why does a straight men go to gay pub or club? does straight men go to gay club, EVER? is it NORMAL or should i be warned? thanks.

There's nothing wrong with gay pubs. I've ended up in a few gay bars myself and I'm straight. There isn't a strict code where you must be gay to enter.
I think you're over thinking and worrying for no reason.
Maybe he goes because his gay friend feels more comfortable in there.. or maybe it's actually enjoyable in there.
Either way, don't stress about it - it's just a pub.

[view]


When i use the bathroom i do my buisness and wipe a couple times after i pee. when i come out i can smell pee! its imbarasing and depressing. i have a large labia minora, how do i wipe after i pee?

Are you sure there's an actual odour and you're not just getting paranoid?
Do you have any other symptoms or is it just the fact you can "smell pee?"
If it's quite a strong smell of urine, I suggest visiting your doctor, as there are reasons for this, ranging from not drinking enough fluids to an underlying problem.
In the mean time, I suggest drinking plenty of water to dilute it - it might not smell as much after that.
and as for wiping properly, don't just give it a quick dab.. you say you have large labia, so make sure you don't leave any bits damp - as it could be something so simple like having dried pee in your undies which is causing the smell!
Buy some feminine wipes, then blot yourself dry with tissue after using them.. see if it changes anything.

[view]



<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker