i'm 18 years and done with school now im on holiday, my parents don't let me go anywhere even to the mall to hang out with friends, is this normal? am i not old enough to be let out on my own
adviceman49 answered Monday December 26 2011, 11:13 am: The fact that you used the term "on Holiday" tells me you may not be from the USA but from a European Country or Australia. The fact that I mention this is that in the US you at age 18 are legally an adult responsible for your own actions. While I believe this is probably the same in most other countries I'm just not sure so I can't say for certain.
Several things that are for certain. First: The old saying of; "As long as you live under my roof you live by my rules." Every parent has that rule.
The second is more complex. We parent have a hard time letting go, more so with fathers and their daughters than with their sons. A daughter will always be daddy's little girl needing daddy's protection even after she is grown and has children of her own. Where a son becomes a man after he proves himself to his father. That is just the way life is. Is it fair; probably not, though you will not be the one nor will any other young lady be able to change this.
Next comes the fact that as parents we have a hard time letting our children leave the nest. Here again gender plays an important role. Boys are easier to separate from the parents then girls for the reasons state earlier. Girls well the same reasons apply.
If you are going away from home for school you probably live differently at school than at home. We see this but to a degree we are also blind to it as we expect that you will live as you were taught at home. What you have to do is teach your parents that the right thing for them to do for you know is to help you learn to live in the adult world you will face when you finish school.
You need to put this idea to them in just this manner. Remember it has been our responsibility since the day you were born to teach you. To help you learn right from wrong. As much as dad would like to keep you cloistered he will understand you need to make your way in the world. That you will eventually need to leave the nest. That it is his job to teach you how to do this safely.
thelaura answered Sunday December 25 2011, 5:25 pm: Technically, you're an adult, so you are old enough.. but if you live under your parents roof, you have to live under their rules. They sound over protective of you, which I understand from your point of view can be annoying.
Talk to them about it - try to come to an agreement. For example, ask them if you can go out but ask them to give you a time to be home by. and while you are out, call/txt them to let them know you are safe and sound. and if they let you out, don't abuse it, or you'll only ruin their trust for you.
Good luck with trying to reason with them. [ thelaura's advice column | Ask thelaura A Question ]
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