Q: Male 26

Lately, it feels like my girlfriend is constantly saying hurtful and/or disrespectful things to/about me. And I can't tell if she's oblivious or not about how it affects me.

How do I make it clear that I still love her, but that what she says affects me a lot.

Q: I'm writing an essay in English concerning the different life styles of teenagers in high school. If you guys could answer a few questions just to give me a few ideas, I'd totally appreciate it. :)

1. What kind of things do you do? (Sports, clubs etc.)

2. Do you have 1 best friend that you spend a lot of time with or a group of friends you spend all your time with?

3. Does your school have lockers outside? Anything cool about your school-block schedule? Stuff like that.

4. Are drugs and drinking big concerns at your school?

5. Finally, is your high school life fun? Do you spend most of your time studying or hanging out with friends? Do you go out with friends every weekend? What kind of stuff do you do?

You can answer some or all of the questions, I'm just trying to get a few different ideas. Thanks!

Q: f 17

my boyfriend and i went to a local concert and had a lot of fun, it was a really wonderful night.

he got a ride home with his friend and i drove myself home.

a few minutes after i got home he called me to tell me that his friend thought it would be funny to punch the gas while he was getting out of the car, so basically he fell and got his leg run over by one of the wheels and he says he has a purple gash on his leg now.

naturally i started freaking out, i mean he called me to tell me this and it sounds really serious. he said he could walk on it fine so i know it isn't broken. i started looking up how to treat leg wounds and asking him questions about it with legitimate genuine concern, and he keeps being like "relax chill it's ok it's not a big deal i'm fine it's gonna fine"

after a good 15 minutes of this back and fourth kind of talk i got really frustrated and upset so i was like "ugh. i have to go. bye." and he was like "oh, ok, bye"

but i'm still genuinely perturbed, this whole him not worrying thing happens all too frequently, but only with his own well-being. he worries about me a lot, but he never puts enough logical consideration into himself.

...am i just being a typical woman at this point? am i nagging? am i overreacting?

this specific incident aside, how can i influence him to take better care of himself, or at least take my worrying somewhat seriously? he doesn't eat much and when he does it isn't healthy, he's 17 and still hasn't gotten his driving permit, and he's been wearing just a thin sweatshirt jacket when it's genuinely freezing outside.

....am i just acting like his mom? how can i get him to take my concerns seriously and actually do something about them?

Q: I can kind of understand why my dad doesn't want me alone with guys, but at the same time, I really do need to start to be more independent. The thing is that I am 16 years old and I think I am pretty mature. I haven't really screwed up anywhere; I get amazing grades, make an effort to help around the house, and I'm generally respectful to my parents. I'm sober too, which isn't the case for my brother. They don't trust him very much, but they let him go out with a girl if he wants to. It's a pretty messed up double standard. Lately, there's a guy who I really like and we aren't exactly dating but it's understood that we both like eachother. Anywyas, I want to talk to my dad about this, but talking to him makes me really nervous because he just says something like "no you can't go" without giving me a reason. He doesn't say, "I don't want you to have a boyfriend" he just says no to everything. Even when it's me and another girl and the guy, my dad is still skeptical. I want to be honest with him but it doesn't work. When I tell the truth about who I want to hang out with, he is against it. So I've had to lie a lot lately to hang out with him, but I'm tired of it. I talked to my mom and she said she knows I already had a boyfriend once so obviously I can do whatever I want, but my dad is very hard to read. Can someone help me out. Thanks

Q: ok sorry if this is long but i really need help i dont know what to do.

me and my b.f have been going out for about 3 months soon on january 16th and recently i started talking to this guy that i met and now i think i like this guy way more then i do my own b.f. because he talks to me the way my b.f would never and tells me things we hung out yesterday and it was amazing no i didnt cheat im not like that but the problem is how can you like someone more then the person you lost your virginity to because me and my b.f had sex recently and i dont know that felt wrong like i know your first time is suppose 2 feel right but it was just all wrong and this other guy likes me and i know he doesnt becuase he told me today and im really confused

i think yea i really do like this kid but something isnt just there with me and my b.f so any advice on what i should do

oh and me and this kid have been talking for a bout a week now so im gonna have 2 wait i know and please dont give me any advice on following your heart or rap like that i herd enough of that so please anyone with normal advice please i need help i dont know if ill make a mistake by breaking it off with my b.f becuase he had a lot of problems in his life and im his longest relationship so i dont know

any advice please and i will rate high! thanxxxx =]

Q: hi. my boyfriend and i have been dating for 3 months now. I am not sure about my feelings right now but i think i am not happy anymore with our relp. I don't know but until now he hasn't even let me check his cellphone. Not that it's his obligation to fetch me after school or buy me simple gifts but he hasn't done any of that until now. I am happy when im with him but he's not putting too much effort in our relp for it work and stay strong. i haven't talked about it with him coz maybe it's just his personality that he's not expressive but im starting to get used to it. Another thing, when some girls admit that they like him, he entertains them. and is it ok for him to call them Babe? do guys are really born flirts? I'm afraid that he's pushing me away and i might lose him. But i can't take it anymore. One time, he doesn't call or text me for a day. As if he doesn't care about my feelings...

Pls. Help. My relp is on the rocks!


thanks!


~yssa

Q: Thanku for your kind response. At least some understand me. If I tell her husband would`nt I be committing a worse crime? After all his world would be broken and what of he children. As I said I want revenge, but you can`t make someone love you. Something about her nature appealed to me you see. So I`m at fault really. But the memories are killing me. Everytime I se her in m dreams the next morning is hell. My dreams are`nt real, but I live in a dream world. I cannot erase the pain so erasing mysel is the next option. Yes it`s a cowards way and eternal damnation awaits me but the pain is too great and I can`t function properly due to it. I`m just another saddo who`s let his heart govern his mind, but I`m not very endowed in that department either. I don`t have anything to offer anybody. So why go on. I have`nt slept for many nights now. It`s 6.30am in the morning and I`m wide awake. All I have is my dreams and now they`ve been poisoned by my memories of her. I can`t hate her as mh love for her is unconditional. I can`t console myself as I have nothing to look forward to. I`m hoping that my excesses (smoking pipes and eating unhealthily) will take their toll sooner rather than later, but that is just cluthing at straws. No one knows when they`re time has come so why not do it yourself? My pain will end and my unremarkable existence will also. I am NOBODY, so no wonder she wanted shot of me. If I told her husband what would I get? Would I revel in her pain. No I would not as I love her with all my heart and soul. However, I would have the comfort of knowing that her illusion that life is easy and mistakes go unpunished would vanish in an instant. I love her so much that I can no longer have a thought without her thouhgts invading my mind. I do not need psychological help, I mean would that make me stop lovin her or make my dreams of her go away? No as these are involuntary and I have no control over them. Tell me why living, in my case, is better than dying. I have done nothing for anybody in my life as I HAVE NOTHING TO OFFER, do you understand that much? I`m in hell anyway so why not just die anyway?

Q: Okay so here's the story. My friend, we'll call her Suzy, had a boyfriend, we'll call him Bob. Suzy really liked Bob, and Bob supposedly really liked Suzy so they started going out. They kept on getting into fights and breaking up and all that stuff. In the end, though, they always got back together.
Last night Bob texted me asking for advice saying that he just broke up with Suzy and then his ex just asked him out. He asked me what to do. I gave him the advice that I would give anyone in that situation, no matter if they were going out with my friend or my enemy.
I told him that it's his choice on what to do, and that if he feels really comfortable with his ex then he should go for it. I told him that it's his choice and that he should do whatever makes him happy (because he's a really depressed person and I was worried that he'd... do something drastic to himself if he got really mad or something). He took my advice I'm pretty sure, and now I think Suzy is super mad at me.
Did I make the right decision on giving that advice to Bob or not? What should I have done and what can I do to get Suzy to forgive me?

Q: my face gets pretty tight and dry after i take a shower or wash my make-up off at night, so i put lotion on afterwards. i'm currently using Cetaphil moisturizer and it does a good job of keeping my face from drying out. BUT i've had acne for about 5-6 years and although its a lot better than it used to be i still break out sometimes and i have scars left over from before. i've heard that aloe is a natural skin soother, and since i dont have access to aloe PLANTS i was hoping to find a good moisturizer with aloe in it, preferably one by Cetaphil if i could find it. does anyone know of/have experience with an aloe moisturizer they could recommend to me? something i could just buy at a drugstore please &thanks!

Q: (I'm 16 female and the boy's 17)

So during the summer, I met this boy who was everything I ever wanted. We both did the same activities, we watched the same tv shows, we both thought the same things were funny. Plus he was probably the sweetest guy I've ever met, he's so nice. He was perfect for me and I was so amazed that I found him. So he asked me out when school started and from then till probably late November, things couldn't have gotten better. We were in love, we lost our virginity to each other and it was just so amazing being with him, he meant everything to me.
So here's the bad part, he lives probably like 30 minutes away from me and he is the busiest boy ever. His schedule is so jam-packed, it's like he's a business man, not a high school student. And during early December, it started getting really rough. He would get up do homework go to school go to rehearsal (we're both theater people), go to another rehearsal, get back at like 10, do homework and then he was just so tired that he would fall asleep after that. He never answered his phone. He only called me once per day and it was in between car rides. And our conversations would last 5 minutes. I had to drop whatever I was doing when he called me because I knew that's the only phone call I would get. And he was texting me less and less.
So I started confronting him about it. I didn't want to because I know it's not his fault that his schedule is so busy, that's just his life but I mean I had to tell him what was on my mind. I told him that I felt like we were drifting apart, and I didn't want to because I loved him. I told him that i know he was busy but if he could please spare like one weekend where maybe I could drive up and see him. And then he would get defensive that I was blaming him for something that wasn't his fault, but I really didn't mean for it to be that way, I just really badly wanted to see him or talk to him for maybe more than 10 minutes. It felt like I had to take a number to tell him about my day or something. It felt like I was just apart of his busy schedule and not a priority in his life.
It was getting worse and worse because our conversations were becoming less happy and goofy like they always were. One time we were on the phone and I said "I love you." and then he said "Aw thank you!" Thank you?! After that, I knew we were heading downhill.

So, a couple of days ago he broke up with me because he said that he didn't have time for me and I deserved someone who would have time to be with me. I knew the break up was coming, but I didn't want it to. I loved him, and I still do. I told him, how can you break up with me if you love me? And do you know what he said? He said I love you like a best friend. WHAT?! When did that happen? What did I do that made your love for me disappear?! That hurt my feelings so bad, I can still hear it in my head. Anyways, he said that he really liked talking to me and that he wants to keep in touch with me like call me every once in awhile to see how I am. And I said no, I can't do that. How can I become buddy buddy with someone who I feel more than buddy buddy with? I hate it that we're not talking now but I feel that's it's the best choice for me to get over him.

So now that you guys know the WHOLE story, what comments/advice do you have for me? Please I need help because I'm so confused. Do you think I made the right choice?

Q: i actually have an account here at advicenators.but sometimes a girl can't figure out her own problems and needs help.so...im sixteen and almost 17...and iv been dating the same guy for almost 5 years.hes 18 and his name is khale.
uhm we havent been together the whole almost 5 years.iv dated other boys and hes dated other girls.but we always ended up back together.hes the first and only boy i have ever loved and im not sure what to do anymore.
hes recently been getting better...but be for in the past we always use to brake up then argue more then out of no where everything would be fine and we would get back together.
well recently i met this boy named julius and it turned out him and khale were bestfriends.me and this boy julius started talking and i kinda really started liking him but then khale sent me this long message over myspace saying take it slow with him.i dont doubt hes gonna hurt you.and i dont want him to hurt you because i hurt you enough.and right there tears were falling down my face and i had to drop everything and ask him back out and i did and he said yes.
some people say were not ment to be but come on after 5 years of still loving eachother i know we are.and so far so good this time is different.hes being nicer and treating me right.
after almost 5 years u still get butterflys when i see him and see fireworks when we kiss.
hes the only boy i wanna continue having sex with.and iv only done it with one other guy besides him.[no khale didnt take my virginity.]
but should i still continue are relationship?

Q: Is it ok to be a virgin at an age of 17?

Q: I am married and have been having an affair with a married woman. I am a complete fool as I fell in love with her. She repeatedly spoke to other men whilst with me and admitted she did. She also has a very dubious past, as she possibly worked as prostitute in her homeland. She worked in showbiz and admitted she had taken certain'steps' to ensure the furtherment of her career. I know I do not have a leg to stand on morally. The affair has ended as she claimed she had found God. She has done this in the past but always seems to find other men to speak to. I know she is is contact with another man at this time but do not know what has happened between them. Should I tell her husband? My motivation is revenge, and I know it`s wrong. I am thinking of commiting suicide, as I cannot let go of her. Iam so deeply in love with her. I have tried it in the past but was unsucessful. I pray to God each day to end my life as I cannot bear to be without her. I accepted the end of the affair, but begged her to at least let me text her once a month, but she went back on her word and this has left me desperate. I know I`m in the wrong as well here but what should I do? I`m lucky to have a loving wife, but I do not deserve her. If I tell her husband I will have to tell mY wife and she will leave me. The only thought that gives me any peace or solace is the thought of suicide. I cannot bear to live a moment longer. I am 32 but have high BP and have been very ill of late. I mentioned this to her (not to get sympathy) but to finally establish whether she cared or not. She said she was busy and did not want to talk and this told me all I needed to know, depste her always claiming she loved me. I just want to die. I am a worthless human being with nothing to offer anybody so what is the point of going on? I really wanna know whther I should tell her husband as well, though I know this will end her marriage. This is wrong is`nt it. I kow she won`t shed a tear if I left the world. I just cannot go on.

Q: okay so i had my period, it got over with within a week w/e and then 2 weeks later i started it again? i thought it was kinda unusual that i would start it again so fast but i didnt really think too much of it. when it got over with a week later (this morning) i started again!?? is there something wrong should i be concerned? this has never happened before?

Q: 15f. sophomore.

BACKGROUND OF OUR RELATIONSHIP:
i've liked this guy for a few weeks now, but only in the last week or so has it been this intense. we have exactly half of our classes together. we have the same circle of friends and so we hang out in group settings. i've never hung out alone with him. he has flirted with me on numerous occassions (e.g., calling me pretty, calling me cute, using the winking smiley face if we talk via the internet, etc.)

BACKGROUND OF ISSUE:
my problem is that there are two girls on the scene for him: S and M. and then me, if he likes me.

S: he thinks that S is very attractive, although several times has admitted that he does NOT have a full-blown crush on her. they have a class together, i think, but the three of us do not have any classes together. she has a boyfriend and so she does not like my crush. funny thing is, my crush and i have this little jealousy game going on. he thinks S is hot, and i think S's boyfriend is hot (although i do not have a crush on him). i've never seen him and S together, although he often brings her up in conversations, making me very jealous.

M: he is very good friends with M, but she is outside of our circle of friends. she's really nice, and he had a crush on her last year. they often hug. i don't know if she likes him, although i wouldn't be surprised. she's had other boyfriends. the three of us have a class together, and he sits next to her in that class and rarely speaks to me in that class. once, i brought her up in conversation and he seemed a bit irritated.

CONFLICT:
i know you're probably thinking, "well if you like him so much, tell him!" but the thing is, (a) i don't know if i even want to date him, (b) it would completely ruin our friendship. in addition, the underlying conflict here is completely internal -- i have a HORRIBLE jealousy problem. i get jealous over the SMALLEST things. so seeing my crush and M hug, or having my crush constantly talk about how hot S is, i get soo upset. i am, contrary to most other girls, quite happy with my body, intelligence and capabilities. so i don't understand why i feel so jealous!

SOLUTIONS:
1. what do you think i should do?
2. what are your overall thoughts of the situation?
3. is it normal for me to be feeling this way?
4. would it be a bad idea if i told my crush's best friend (B) about the situation, since he's the only guy who could truly help me? (note: he would never tell my crush. the only problem is that B may end up telling his girlfriend, and i do NOT want that.)
5. do you think i should directly ask my crush if he has a crush on M? i don't want him to get upset like the last time i brought M up in conversation, and i don't want to keep bugging my crush.
6. should i try hanging out with my crush alone or with a smaller group?
7. what do you think i should do about my jealousy problem?

thank you so much!

Q: okay this is a long story. first i am a female. i have been dating this guy for about 6 months. not that long but long enough to start feeling comfortable in a realtionship. we had a talk earlier in the relationship and i told him if something better comes a long and you feel that there is a better chance i want you to go for it. don't worry about me. well saturday he told me that he found an interest in someone else and he told me he wanted to leave. i said okay thats fine. it hurt of course but i would rather know he was leaving me and not cheating on me. but then he staring telling me that he still wanted me and basically told me that he was going to go fuck her and then when he got tired of her, expected me to be there waiting for him. I told him it was either me or her make a choice. he told me he wouldnt want to lose me. i started talking to his friend and i now hes hitting on me and i think i might have given him the wrong impression. the thing is im not sure if i want to take my ex back or not so i don't want to start anythingwith his friend and even if i did it would be horrible to do. i don;t know what to think or do.

Q: I was supposed to go to my friend's sweet 16 this past weekend at some hotel. Well I wound up not going because I got mad sick. So I get to school today and my friend, who was at my bffs sweet 16, told me that my bff [the one who turned 16] invited 5 guys up to the suite. I don't know how many guys actually went to the suite but my bff gave this guy who is 17 a head. this was her first bj she ever gave a guy and then he fingered her and she had freaking butt sex with him. WTF. and she didn't even tell me, I had to hear it from my friend. my bff hasnt even ever had normal sex and now shes not even a virgin [because sex is sex] and she did this with a guy she JUST MET and omg i think its so wrong. her first time was up the butt. I don't know what to do, I want to talk to her about it, but my friend said I can't mention anything to her because she said that everyone in the suite heard it and said it was sooooo gross. I'm actually pretty pissed at her, do I have a right to be? and i'm also worried that she's heading down the wrong path because she had to get her stomach pumped over the summer and she got high alotttt. ive never had a drink in my life, and ive never done any drugs whatsoever, i hate what it does to people. I feel like I'm losing her and I don't want her to become this out of control person she is becoming. I'm also 16 and i really don't know if I have a right to be mad at her. I don't know if I should talk to her. I don't know if this is even NORMAL for a 16 year old who tranferred to my highschool from a strict CATHOLIC school to be doing. wtf. any input. how would you guys feel? please answer all of my questions, I'm so emotional and confused right now. thank you.

Q: Ok so i dated jake for a year and he was my first real relationship. All my other "boyfriends" were just stupid and last like 3 weeks. At the beggining of our relationship things seemed really good i've never clicked with anyone so well. We had alot in common and always had fun. But we started hanging out constantly he would always get sad/mad when i hung out with my friends. Pretty soon i never saw my friends anymore the social things i got invited to i couldn't go to because he didn't want to ever. He just wanted me to sit with him all day, he became extrememly irrational and controlling. There was an incident where he lashed out at me and the cops came.I just put up with it and stayed with him because i knew i love him but i recently realized he's holding me back from everything so i broke up with him, he took it REALLY hard and is still begging for me back and crying. Meanwhile, i'm having the time of my life being single i just feel so free and i can hang out with who ever i want so now that i can i hang out with this guy who i really like and he really likes me but he wants and relationship and i told him i'm not ready i just got out of a huge one and he got really mad i'm wondering if moving on a week after is moving on too fast? I feel like it is but i really do like this kid and i'm not sure what to do.

Q: when you use an eyeshadow brush, should you get a different brush for every color or use the same brush for every color?

if so, how do you get the previous color off the brush so you can use it for the next color?

Q: 17/f

Sometimes thinking about certain guys I get a horrible, skin crawling feeling. It makes me want to cover up all exposed skin and never talk to the guys again. Is it a problem with them or is it me trying to prevent myself from becoming close with them? I do not follow instincts or intuition, it does not play a significant role in my life so I am not going to use that as an explanation for this. Has anyone else felt this way? Did you ever figure out why? Thanks.

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