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my crush
15f. sophomore.
BACKGROUND OF OUR RELATIONSHIP:
i've liked this guy for a few weeks now, but only in the last week or so has it been this intense. we have exactly half of our classes together. we have the same circle of friends and so we hang out in group settings. i've never hung out alone with him. he has flirted with me on numerous occassions (e.g., calling me pretty, calling me cute, using the winking smiley face if we talk via the internet, etc.)
BACKGROUND OF ISSUE:
my problem is that there are two girls on the scene for him: S and M. and then me, if he likes me.
S: he thinks that S is very attractive, although several times has admitted that he does NOT have a full-blown crush on her. they have a class together, i think, but the three of us do not have any classes together. she has a boyfriend and so she does not like my crush. funny thing is, my crush and i have this little jealousy game going on. he thinks S is hot, and i think S's boyfriend is hot (although i do not have a crush on him). i've never seen him and S together, although he often brings her up in conversations, making me very jealous.
M: he is very good friends with M, but she is outside of our circle of friends. she's really nice, and he had a crush on her last year. they often hug. i don't know if she likes him, although i wouldn't be surprised. she's had other boyfriends. the three of us have a class together, and he sits next to her in that class and rarely speaks to me in that class. once, i brought her up in conversation and he seemed a bit irritated.
CONFLICT:
i know you're probably thinking, "well if you like him so much, tell him!" but the thing is, (a) i don't know if i even want to date him, (b) it would completely ruin our friendship. in addition, the underlying conflict here is completely internal -- i have a HORRIBLE jealousy problem. i get jealous over the SMALLEST things. so seeing my crush and M hug, or having my crush constantly talk about how hot S is, i get soo upset. i am, contrary to most other girls, quite happy with my body, intelligence and capabilities. so i don't understand why i feel so jealous!
SOLUTIONS:
1. what do you think i should do?
2. what are your overall thoughts of the situation?
3. is it normal for me to be feeling this way?
4. would it be a bad idea if i told my crush's best friend (B) about the situation, since he's the only guy who could truly help me? (note: he would never tell my crush. the only problem is that B may end up telling his girlfriend, and i do NOT want that.)
5. do you think i should directly ask my crush if he has a crush on M? i don't want him to get upset like the last time i brought M up in conversation, and i don't want to keep bugging my crush.
6. should i try hanging out with my crush alone or with a smaller group?
7. what do you think i should do about my jealousy problem?
thank you so much!
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To me, it sounds like he is trying to make you jealous and it dosen't sound like he likes S. I think he may like M a little but i think the main focus is to make you jealous. Either that or he is just a player.
1. I think you first should decide if you would want to date him or just keep him as a friend. That's the most important thing. If you decide you want to date him, i would tell him you have feelings for him. If thats to outgoing for you, then flirt with him LOTS!! They will get the hint.
2. I already told you before question 1.
3. Yes, it is normal for you to feel this way. I have felt this way MANY times. It's okay.
4. I would tell his friend if you are absolutely sure he wouldn't tell your crush. When you tell him the whole situation, get advice from him and tell him not to tell a single soul and that you trust him so he knows you trust him and he would feel guilty if he told anyone.
5. I would ask your crush if he likes ANYONE, i wouldn't just say "Do you like M?"
6. I would hang out with him first in a small group, then maybe i would hang out with him alone.
7. I don't think there is anything about your jealousy problem you can do. I agree with you, i have the biggest one to, i get jealous even if my crush brings up her name but there's nothing you can do about it. Just try not to let it get to you.
Hope this helps! Good luck!
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Honeslty if you like him this much you want to date him your just afrid of him saying know and it wont ruin your friendship i doubt it. I would ask him who is everyone that he has a crush on and tell him not to leave anyone out. you know bring up hints like that. Yes it is normal. and being jealous is also very very normal my boyfriend refused to date girls with jealousy problems. but were in love and clicked. and he would make me jealous i was jealous of taylor swift lol. i wont listen to her music now at all and i refuse to let him play that music in my car. but i am pretty much over the jealousy problem with him telling me how much he wanted her i used to cry baout it and i learned to just let it not bother me. yes you should try and hang out with him alone.
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if he likes 3 girls then why dont you let him choose or talk to the other people and see who likes him the most and whos really in love with him
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